Sacrifices and the Unexpected

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Angelus/Angel/Xander

Summary: While on patrol Xander is kidnapped by Angelus as leverage for Buffy to back off of him. It works out for the best and the worst... How exactly do things work out? Read it and see. (Slow build up slash) (Contains bad language)

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Chapter 4: Xander Has a Realization... With A little Help

Xander's Pov

(3 hours later)

Groaning I awoke to my body inflamed with pain. Every muscle was sore and even the smallest movement would make me feel like my body was on fire. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked around to see that the devil incarnate wasn't in the room but I could hear him outside the door yelling at someone who was yelling back with equal fevor. So slowly I lifted myself off the bed and walked to the door and pressed my ear against the wood to hear better and from what I heard it sounded like they were screaming about me.

"What the bloody hell were you thinking ya poof! The Slayer is going to kill you when she gets the chance! The voice sounded familiar but I couldn't place it so I just kept on listening.

"I know what I am doing and you're not in the place to judge me or my decisions, remember that William" 'Shit I thought, Angelus and Spike are both here, now I know I'm going to die'.

Suddenly I heard footsteps and before I knew it someone had throw the door open and grabbed me by my neck and squeezed. I could feel the air leaving my lungs and black spots started to dance across my sight.

Then there was a rush of cool air and I was suddenly dropped onto the ground where I was finally able to breath. Looking up I saw Angelus throwing Spike around the room like he was a rag doll. But as Angelus had him in mid air during mid punch he just stopped and they both looked over at me, their eyes going black. I looked down to see that the large gash on my shoulder had reopened and was oozing blood all over me.

Quickly I ran back into the room and slammed the door but that didn't help because they both just crashed through it and advanced towards me till my back was to the wall (again). I couldn't do anything but stand there in fear as they sniffed me and licked all the blood off. But I could tell that Spike lost control because he started sniffing my nect and nipping at me which made me gasp.

"I'm going to suck you dry Slayer's pet" he whisper and just as I felt the points of his fangs he was ripped away and I saw Angelus stand in front of me. He had his face on and he look so evil and kinda hot. What?! Hot?! I'm going crazy from the blood loss!

"GET OUT!" he roared and Spike ran out saying "I'll be back"

"Thank you Angel" I whispered and I snapped my mouth shut and covered it with my hands when I realized what I had just called him, and from the look on his face he wasn't happy about it. He grabbed me by the neck but not nearly as hard as Spike and pinned me to the wall.

"What did you just Alexander" he growled at me.

"I think you heard me Angel"

"You're lucky I need you alive or else you'd already be dead"

"But that's not the only reason you want me alive now is it?"

"What are you talking about boy?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about Deadboy. I'm not stupid, I know that the real Angel is still inside and he isn't letting you kill me. He was always good at getting people to do what he wanted".

I mumbled that last part, because that's how he got Buffy. That's something they both have in common I guess, they both use their looks and other peoples feelings to get whatever they want. In this case it's how Angelus got back to being the top dog again.

"You're right"

My eyes snapped up and I stared into his. Looking in them I swear I could see the real Angel, begging for me to save him.

"Angel doesn't want you to die. He's been begging for me not to hurt you and saying that if he gets control back he will make sure that I never do anything like that again".

"He's just saying that because he still loves Buffy". But instead of agreeing like I thought he would he just laughed at me.

"Oh Alexander if you only knew"

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Angelus's Pov

"Don't you dare tell him Angelus!" Angel screamed at me. But I just pushed it back, knowing it would kill him when Alexander rejected his feelings since he was still in love with the Slayer and hated him for taking her.

"If only I knew what?" I heard him ask me. I looked back at him to see his eyes full of curiousity. 'This should be good' I thought.

"Angel doesn't like Buffy anymore, in fact he never did. I used him and her to get my body back. The true happiness he experience was actually mine because I knew sleeping with her would bring me back."

"You bastard! How dare you use them like that! I swear to god if I had a stake you would be a pile of useless dust!"

"You really care about him don't you or else you wouldn't be threatening to kill me"

"You're damn right I do!" I laughed at him again. 'I don't think he heard me, it's going to be so good to pop his bubble'.

"You do realize that I said him, not her right"

I was greeted with silence but what I saw on his face wasn't horror or disgust like I assumed, there was shock of course but it was coupled with relief and joy? 'Oh my devil' I smirked when I realized what I had just found out.

"Do you see it Angel? He likes you but doesn't even know it. And once he finds out that he does he will be crushed because he will never find out that you like him back"

"God damn you Angelus!"

I let go of his neck and lean back and continued to smirk at him.

"What's with the 'I know something and you don't' smirk? Huh? What's the big secret?"

"Do you really want to know Alexander? Because what I know will shock you and going to make you want to kill me even more...or not"

"Just tell me Angelus!"

"You like Angel... and he actually likes you back"

"Wh...What?"

He slid down the wall and sat there with pure shock and amazement across his face. Looking down at him our eyes meet and I could see the joy that I don't believe he noticed.

"What makes you think that I like Angel? And where in the hell did you get the idea that he likes me?"

I crouched down until I was eye level with him and reached a hand over and gently traced my finger outside his eyes.

"Your eyes. Inside them I can see all the emotion that's inside of you, even though you don't feel it yet. Right now they are filled with joy because I told you that Angel likes you. All you need to do is admit it to feel it. Why else would he be begging me to stop touching you, hurting you. He even begged me not to tell you of his feelings."

"What?Why?"

"Because he knows that there is a chance that he might never have control again. He didn't want you to have to deal with the heartache of loving someone that's never going to love you back...again" I smiled at that last part, pushing his buttons by talking about Buffy.

"A...And what makes you think that I like Angel?"

"Like I said, I can see it in your eyes. I can also see how you no longer love the Slayer and how jealous you got whenever you saw her hanging off Angel's arm like a little puppy. And I can also see how he made you feel safe and that he never looked down on you and that it seemed like he was the only one that you felt didn't think you were worthless."

"You're right... I like Angel"