"You raped Deidara?"
Sasori's ghostly figure wavered, like it he was shuddering.
"That is such a harsh word," Sasori replied as delicately as ever. "Let's just say he didn't want to do it—I did,"
"Rape. Exactly,"
"I told you I do not want to hear that word,"
Hidan turned away huffily in surrender.
"This turns the tables a bit, don't you think? You said he tricked us all,"
"And he did,"
"But you just admit that you—,"
Sasori's form was drifting amongst his many puppets, which were suspended by individual strings from the ceiling. "Hidan…," he began slowly. "Obviously, there is a second part to this story,"
"What more is there to a rape?"
"I have to admit, it was rather dextrous of him," Sasori said. "For one, I didn't even realize Itachi was on his side, protecting him as he did. I always thought they both despised each other,"
"Me, too," Hidan agreed randomly. He shrugged when Sasori glared at him and flicked a finger against one of the puppets.
"Itachi left on his mission," Sasori continued. "And Deidara came to my room. My room. This room. He was asking for it,"
Hidan said nothing, just took in the information.
"Asking for…it?"
Sasori nodded. "Oh, it was a good night. I thought that little brat had finally come to realize that I was, indeed, to be listened to. I thought he'd learned. I thought he really did want to do it with me, then,"
Hidan said nothing, which was odd of him. Sasori examined the Jashinist's face for a moment.
"He was very good," Sasori commented. "He did everything. We did everything. But little did I know that it was just an act,"
"An…act?" Hidan said nervously, snapping back to attention.
" He wanted to distract me long enough for him to steal a poison…he waited until I fell asleep,"
"You mean, he poisoned himself?"
Sasori smiled. "Correct,"
"So that Itachi would…?"
"Ditto,"
"Wow," Hidan breathed. He would never have guessed that Deidara possessed that sort of…cunning if he hadn't heard it from Sasori. He wasn't really moved by the new information, either. He didn't hate Deidara so much as—
Hidan blushed and turned away from Sasori. When he had composed himself, he turned around to see the ghost of the redhead seated on top of the pile of puppets, bored.
"So…um…,"
"I have learned to accept what has happened to me," Sasori said. "Yesterday night, after you left, Deidara came into the room. He paid me a visit,"
"How about that," Hidan grumbled.
"He didn't see me of course. But I knew what he was thinking: I could tell he regretted it. He didn't seem to appreciate my being absent from his life,"
"Really?" Hidan inched forward. "He actually likes you?" his voice sounding bitter.
"No," Sasori replied. "He does not. As far as I know, I think he thinks little of me as a friend. But he just did not like the feeling that I was gone forever,"
"I…see," Hidan said, sounding like he was choked up.
"What is wrong with you?" Sasori asked. "You've been like this ever since…ever since the day before I died,"
"Never mind,"
Sasori rolled his eyes at Hidan's defensiveness.
"Anyway….even though I have accepted that yes, I am dead, I do not like the fact that trickery was involved in my cause of death. I want to clear my name,"
"That…won't that just kill Itachi inside? He trusted Deidara,"
"Evidently,"
"So…,"
"Look, you think I care if they're still best friends or not?"
Hidan shrugged. "Maybe,"
"Well I don't," Sasori snapped. He inspected the ends of a lock of his hair before continuing.
"I am going to appear to every single Akatsuki member tonight. Deidara will be last, and you, of course, are unnecessary. But tomorrow morning, at least everyone will know the truth,"
Hidan didn't say anything.
"Including the fact that he and I had an affair," Sasori laughed. "I'm dead. I don't care about blackening my reputation…but what of Deidara?"
Hidan opened his mouth to say something but Sasori had gone.
Shit Hidan thought as he walked out of the room. Shit shit shit!
***
The first person to say anything to Deidara was none other than Itachi.
Deidara had been up all night, especially after Sasori's visit. The ghostly appearance of his late partner did little to dampen his spirits, but what he said did.
"Deidara…so nothing happened to you in the end,"
"I had to get rid of him, Itachi…,"
"That's an admission. I was looking for that,"
Deidara clamped his mouth shut. Shit.
"You made me kill Sasori…for no reason?"
"For no reason?" Deidara protested, the look in his eyes resembling that of Sasuke's when he was being defiant. Itachi felt a twinge of sadness at the memory of Sasuke. "He…oh, forget it,"
"I know," Itachi replied calmly. "But…you used me,"
Deidara shook his head. "I did… I utilized what was available to me. But you were being so…open. I felt that I could…,"
"Enough," Itachi held up a hand. "Don't want to hear it,"
Deidara snorted. "Fine,"
Itachi exhaled loudly. "This will never happen again…,"
"What? Me tricking you? Of course not,"
"No," Itachi said coldly. "You and I being friends,"
"I didn't ask you to be one," Deidara snapped childishly as the Uchiha left.
***
Deidara was the last to appear at the dining table that night, understandably. Kisame grinned widely when he pulled his chair out and sat down.
"Looking at you, I never would've imagined,"
"Shut up,"
Deidara saw Kakuzu roll his eyes at Kisame's immaturity and felt a pang of gratitude to Hidan's partner.
"You and Sasori, huh?" was all he said. "Disgusting, but…I can handle it,"
"So what was it like?" Kisame teased. Itachi immediately got up and left, his face clouded with annoyance. Deidara watched him go. It made him feel like a total dickhead, but at the same time he didn't care. Fuck Itachi.
"It must've been good," Hidan said quietly.
Kakuzu's head whipped around to stare at his partner questioningly.
Kisame chortled at Hidan's answer.
"So who screwed who?"
Deidara ignored Kisame, locating a piece of carrot in the soup and putting it into his bowl. He preferred chunky soups.
"Kisame," Kakuzu said warningly. "We don't want to hear about that,"
"Just curious,"
Deidara glanced at Hidan, who was stirring his spoon around in his bowl absentmindedly. He felt the sudden urge to boast about it. He didn't know what it was, but it was irresistible.
"He screwed me," Deidara announced loudly, smiling in satisfaction when Hidan looked up at him with a look of complete disbelief on his features. Deidara gave him a shrug of nonchalance.
"Oh, man," Kisame cracked the chicken bone between his sharp teeth and spat them out. "That must've been some—,"
"Stop," Kakuzu said. "Both of you,"
Hidan shook his head and slipped into his trance again. But this time, he had a small smile on his face and a blush across his cheeks like he had learned something new…and that something new was incredibly pleasing.