Author's Note: Alright I have edited this for the fourth time! I finally think it's in a better place. WARNING STILL SMUT! (And I'm STILL not good at writing it. lol)

I made a lot of changes, though in all honesty, the scene stayed exactly the same, just the way I'm telling it is changing (I have the events of this story all pretty set in my head as "fact" so it's hard to change scenes for me, because I see them as solid unchangeable events. All the same stuff happens, I just tell it differently.

I got some really good feedback, so I've gone through and made some edits AND I've written the next chapter depicting the exact same time frame from Mike's POV (Apparently people were feeling all this was really out of character for him and couldn't follow his motivation, also apparently this scene came off as "rapey" which was NOT the vibe I was going for). So let me know if this edit and the next chapter sit better for you!

Moral of the story, feedback is very appreciated!

Paige storms out of the kitchen, leaving Mike standing there speechless behind her. She slams the door to her bedroom shut, thankful that there are no other roommates home. She leans against her closed door, staring out into the empty room blankly.

That did not go well. She doesn't know what she was expecting, a part of her had seriously considered not telling Mike about Phil, and looking back on it all she should have gone with that first instinct. She lets out a deep sigh and slides down to the floor, her knees coming up to her chest. Even if she hadn't told him, he would have found out eventually. Mike is the one person she can't lie to.

The things Mike said to her though… She didn't think Mike was right about it, but it still stung. She didn't think Phil used her, if anything she felt a little bad for using him, not that he had seemed to mind. The sex with Phil this afternoon hadn't been that great, but it at least gave Paige an hour of distraction from her life. Sex with Phil was familiar, they used to hook up on a somewhat regular basis but hadn't for some time. They'd stopped hooking up right around the time she went under with Bobby Moi, and Paige refused to let herself think about why they hadn't resumed after she closed that case.

She hears another door slam down the hall and knows Mike's now in his room. Part of her is disappointed he hasn't come to her room to apologize or continue the fight, but she's relieved that he hasn't left the house angry. This way at least she knows he's on his own in his room, probably sulking while squeezing his stupid little hand gripper.

She looks over at her empty bed. It looks foreign to her without Mike in it. A part of her is still hoping he'll come sleep next to her tonight, even though the rational side of her knows he won't. She has too much pride to go ask him to join her. She's a grown woman, she should be able to sleep alone, without a bed buddy. She knew their unconventional sleeping arrangement would have to stop sometime. She's surprised it's lasted as long as it did.

She waits a little longer leaning against the door, waiting to see if she can hear him out in the hall. She doesn't want to fight with Mike, but it seems like it's all they do these days.

She's exhausted. Today has just been too much to process. She can feel the stress of it all in her neck and shoulders. Her scar on her abdomen seems to be pulsing with a dull ache more than usual. She stares at her empty bed and thinks about what a horrible day it's been. She finally pushes herself up from the floor and decides to start getting ready for bed, though she's so upset she doesn't know how she'll sleep. As she does, she sees the neat pile of a folded blanket and pillow from where Mike slept on the floor last night. She kicks the pillow across the room.

She can't believe Mike turned her down last night. She'd thrown herself at him and he'd just patted her on the head and tucked her into bed. A few months ago, before the abduction, she knows Mike would have jumped at the chance to have sex with her at the slightest hint of interest. That's why she was always pushing him at other girls. She didn't want things in the house to get too complicated. She's embarrassed as she thinks about how he must see her now if she can be straddling him on her bed and he turns her down. He must think she's truly certifiable.

In Paige's opinion if anyone's crazy it's Mike. One second he's hot, the next he's completely cold and closed off. Despite what he says, she knows last night he wanted her too. She had felt him respond to her kiss and her touch, but he had still rejected her. With all the time they'd spent together recently, the way his eyes followed her and the things he said, Paige had thought that he wanted to be with her. Apparently not only did he not want to be with her, but he didn't want anyone else to either.

It becomes clear to Paige after a while that neither Mike nor sleep are going to come visit her anytime soon. So she grabs the one medicine bottle she hasn't touched yet. Her doctor had prescribed a sleep aid in case Paige had trouble sleeping due to pain or nightmares. Up until this point, Paige had avoided it. Due to hazards of the job, she likes to keep herself as drug free as possible. Sure she's had some issues sleeping, but with Mike there, she'd always managed to fall back to sleep if she woke up.

"Well, Mike's not here now." She mutters bitterly to herself, as she throws back the pills and chases it with a sip of water.

She crawls into bed alone, curls up in a ball, and lies on her side facing away from the door. She waits for the pills to work their magic and take her, determined to slip into a much needed deep sleep. She just wants to forget everything about this stupid day.

Around 4am Paige wakes to a gentle hand shaking her shoulder. She reluctantly opens her eyes and finds a familiar pair of blue eyes staring at her beside her bed. She groggily remembers she's supposed to be mad at Mike for something, but she can't place why. She just knows she's glad to see him.

"Hey you…" She murmurs sleepily, closing her eyes once again. The sleeping pills do not want to release their hold on her.

"I'm sorry." Mike whispers, and he sounds so remorseful that Paige thinks he may cry. "I'm so sorry. I can't sleep without you."

"Get in." Paige holds the blankets up, in a sleepy invitation for him to crawl into her bed. She doesn't care about the fight at the moment, which she knows is important but can't remember. She just wants him beside her in her warm comfortable bed.

He crawls in beside her. Propping himself up on his side, he leans down to lay a gentle kiss on her lips. The kiss is soft and chaste. Paige assumes this is Mike's form of an apology, but his lips continue moving against hers. In her half asleep state, she surrenders to the familiar feeling of being kissed, her mouth and tongue moving instinctively against his lips.

Her drowsy mind is not fully able to tell the difference between a dream and reality. His hand comes to her breast, fondling her lightly through the thin fabric of her shirt, and Paige is convinced this must be a dream. Mike doesn't touch her like this. He continues to kiss her lips tenderly as he rubs her lightly through the fabric. She surrenders to the wonderful dream, and the very real sensations of his touch. She relaxes under his talented fingers, the pleasure clouding her already heavy brain as she brings a sleepy hand up to his hair as she curls up against his heat. She whimpers sleepily against his lips, as his fingers tease her through the thin fabric of her t-shirt. His only response is a breathy moan of her name.

She feels his fingers ghost down her stomach to gently rub her through the soft cotton of her panties. His lips wander from her own, over her jaw, down her throat to lay soft kisses at the base of her neck, as his fingers lightly rub her through the silky fabric. She feels her panties being brushed aside and a long finger slip inside her, and his lips sucking her neck. The heat rushing between her legs as she clenches around his finger is enough to slowly bring her out of her sleepy state as she begins to realize this is not a dream.

She opens her eyes and tries to focus her hazy brain, squeezing her fingers against his hair, surprised this is really happening. Mike is kissing her and he's perfect, just like she always imagined, and yet she can't figure out how they got to this point. They were fighting earlier, and then he was gone. This shouldn't be happening. This has to be a dream, but the feel of his lips on her neck and the tight coil in her stomach that he twists tighter and tighter with each curl of his finger convinces her it's not.

"Mike, what are you doing?" She asks quietly, her voice still slow from sleep and lust.

"What does it feel like?" Mike whispers in her ear, as he continues to cover her with soft kisses and touches. "I'm doing what I should have been doing all along. I'm kissing you Paige. I'm touching you."

"Why are you doing this?" Paige's brain is moving so slowly, trying to push through the fog, to come back to this moment. Something important is happening. She needs to wake up.

"If this is what you need, I can give you this." He's soft and tender, and he continues to gently caress her. His fingers curl inside her, gently stretching her. Her body is responding to him. Her hips grinding down on his hand, her face flushing, all the signs of arousal, but her brain is lagging behind. "I'm going to make you feel so good, Paige. I promise."

His breath is warm against her skin, his thumb circling her clit as he gently slides two fingers in and out of her. "You don't need him. I'll do anything. Just tell me what you need me to do."

There was something so submissive about his demeanor, the way he tenderly kissed her, no worshipped her, that it made Paige feel strangely powerful. It was the first time she had felt in control since she'd been kidnapped. She knew he meant it too. He would do anything for her. He was one of the most powerful deadly men she knew, and he was allowing her complete control. To do anything to him.

All the fantasies she'd been having about Mike recently had been about him taking control. Him bending her over. Him forcing her to please him. In her mind she'd taken every lewd act that had been forced upon her by those men and replaced each one with Mike, right down to him carving his name in her thigh. Except with Mike, no matter how he pushed her, she would love it. She would submit to him. She wouldn't fight. She would allow him to use her body however he saw fit, and then beg him for more.

She didn't fully understand why she was having such fantasies. Maybe it was the fact she knew Mike would never hurt her that made her want him to. She's been so confused with feelings since the attack that she can't even keep track of them. She just keeps putting them in a box, convinced she'll deal with them later. She doesn't understand it, but in her own mind, being that way with Mike would turn something bad into something good. Whatever it was, it was something she couldn't achieve with the bland sex she'd had earlier that evening with Phil.

The reality currently before her, she hadn't thought of. The way Mike lay fully clothed beside her, hard against her leg, but making no move to satisfy himself. Everything was about her, and he sucked and licked her breasts, his fingers moving at a steady rhythm between her thighs. He was doing everything right, and Paige really doesn't know why she's surprised, because Mike is good at everything. Of course he would be good at this.

"Mike…" Paige begins to protest weakly, but his lips press against hers again. She wants to tell him to stop, but her brain is hazy and what he's doing with his hands and lips distracts her.

"You feel so good, Paige. So hot and tight around my fingers. You're so beautiful, Paige. So beautiful like this." His blue eyes peer down at her. His fingers still stretching her, now three inside her. "Did he satisfy you? Did he take the time to make sure you came?"

"No." Paige managed to gasp out, trying to think about anything but the pleasure her body was feeling. This was wrong. Her body's heating up, but she doesn't want this. She doesn't want to have Mike competing with Phil.

"I want you to cum for me, Paige. I want to see your face when you reach your peak. I want to know I took you there." Mike's forehead is pressed to hers and she can feel his breath on her lips.

"No. Mike, no. Stop. Not like this." Her voice is quiet, coming out in breathy, broken gasps. She squeezes her eyes shut, because she knows looking at him might push her over the edge he's brought her so close to.

"Why not? You know I care about you. I care about you more than he ever could. Let me be the one to do this for you." Mike pleads, his fingers deep inside her curling against her g-spot as his thumb applies torturous perfect pressure to her clit.

"Mike, you know I want this… but not like this." She brings her hand to his arm, and he pulls it gently away from her without her needing to force him to stop.

When he removes his hand, her body feels empty without him. Every cell in her body is screaming at her to let him continue, to get lost in his touch, but she knows they can't do this. Not like this. Not with him pitying her and trying to compete with Phil. She wants him to want her, not just feel like he's fulfilling some duty out of guilt or jealousy.

The two of them lay next to each other in awkward silence as they both stare up at the ceiling until their breathing evens out. When her body calms, she turns on her side to look at him. He looks hurt and lost as he stares up at her ceiling.

"Why wasn't it me? If you needed this, why didn't you tell me?" Mike asks in a small voice. He won't look at her.

"I tried Mike. You haven't touched me since the hospital." She wants to cry from frustration. She wanted him for so long, she had thrown herself at him again and again and he'd never wanted her. Now the only reason he wanted her was to prove he could do something better than someone else.

"I touch you." He says so quietly she almost doesn't hear him.

She wraps around him, spooning his side and resting her head on his shoulder. She wants him to know she's not rejecting him. She is, but she isn't. She wants him there, but sex with him this way feels wrong.

"You know what I mean. You treat me like a child. You're always handling me like I'm going to break." Paige is tired, and frustrated. Why did he have to do this tonight?

"You've been injured. I don't want to hurt you." Mike says stubbornly.

"It's more than that." Paige tries to explain. She wishes he could see the way he looks at her, like a wounded puppy. The only time she ever feels like a victim is when Mike treats her like one. "Ever since the hospital, you've been looking at me differently. I don't need you to take care of me."

"So you've found someone else to take care of you." He scoffs.

"Mike, it's not like that." Paige insists. She wishes he could just understand, but she doesn't know how to tell him. "There's some things you can't do for me."

"I know. That's why I want you to go back to your shrink. Look I know you think it's about Phil." Mike sounds like he's choking on the name, "But it's not. Obviously there's things you don't think I can help you with, and I don't want you to feel alone."

"Mike. I need to get through this alone. I just do. No one else can do it for me, not a shrink, not you..."

"...Not Phil." Mike says sourly. She gives him a warning look, and he mutters a sheepish. "Sorry."

"He doesn't matter, Mike." Paige wishes Mike would just let it go. She didn't know why he was still harping on it. Phil had nothing to do with Mike. "It was just something I needed to do. I needed to have sex again. Just to prove I could. It meant nothing."

"If it truly meant nothing, then why did you need to do it so badly?"

"You don't understand…" Paige says bitterly. He's not even trying. She doesn't know what she could say to convince him that Phil meant nothing to her. He shouldn't have any effect on her and Mike's relationship and whatever it was they shared.

"So tell me! Christ, Paige talk to me!" Mike snaps.

"I do talk to you! We do nothing but talk!" Paige laughs harshly.

She has shared more serious conversations with Mike in the past few months than she's had her whole life. He wants her to be someone she can't be. She doesn't talk about this sort of thing, she's never needed to, but with Mike he just wants to discuss every damn thing all the time. He keeps pushing her to share more of herself with him, and doesn't seem to realize she has nothing more to give.

"But not about anything real! Tell me how you feel. About the rape. About Phil. About me. I never know what you're thinking these days and it's driving me crazy!" Mike takes her head in his and presses his forehead tightly against hers, as if he's trying to absorb her secrets through osmosis.

"It's not that simple." Paige brings her hands up to cover his on her face. Nothing she feels these days is simple.

"It could be if you'd just talk to me." Mike insists, his tone pleading.

"Nothing is simple with you! You came here, and now everything's different!" Paige pushes him away in frustration. Her brain is foggy from the drugs and events of the day. She just wants to go to sleep and he's still trying to drag her back into this fight.

"Yes, and what does that mean?" Mike asks desperately."Things are different between us, Paige. How long can we keep ignoring that? What are we doing here?"

Mike waits for an answer, but when she doesn't respond, he continues to gently push. "C'mon, I can't be alone here in this. I know you feel it. Things are different. But what does that mean? What do I mean to you?"

"It means…" Paiges eyes dart around the room, looking anywhere but at Mike as if she's searching for an answer. Finally she just shuts her eyes tightly, "It means, maybe it's time you started sleeping in your own bed again."