Author's Notes: I actually want the characters to seem a little out of character at this point. Even though it's a love story, what I'm more interested in is how the character's deal with all the trauma that happened in "Safe." So if the character's are seeming lost, that's why. They are losing themselves and getting somewhat far from canon at this point, but they're just changing. I like playing with how the trauma brought them close together, but they can't sustain that longterm, so now they're just bumping together again and again, like a crash landing until they can find a balance to their relationship that works.

So yeah, this is harder to write because at this point the character's are out of character, so they don't speak to me as clearly. (plus haven't watched the show in a while) Also, it's a lot of sex scenes, and I hate writing sex scenes. I'm not good at writing it, and it makes me feel vulnerable when others read it. However, it's a large part of this story, and I've always found the way sex effects relationships fascinating, so needs to be in there.

Paige is walking back to her room, tired and exhausted. Every day seems longer than the last and she's having trouble keeping what now feels like a charade of her former happy self. She figured since she'd been back to work for a few days now and Mike wasn't in her bed anymore, everything would go back to normal. She was for the most part, entirely healed, and yet she still felt like something was terribly wrong with her that wasn't physical.

She doesn't know what there is to be upset about anymore. Nothing has changed. She doesn't feel like she has a right to be depressed. It all worked out. Things are fixed. Everyone in the house has moved on, and she should too. The thought that she should feel better by now and she's still not happy, makes her feel worse. She should be grateful. It was a miracle that she's alive with no permanent injuries.

Things are still awkward with Mike. Hopefully now that they were both keeping busy with work, things would slowly go back to normal. They hadn't crossed the line too far. Their friendship could still be salvaged. For everything they'd gone through, she was convinced their friendship could survive anything.

She still would wake up some nights in a panic finding herself alone, but in time she would adjust. She misses his friendship though. She wants to confide in him that she's not doing well, that she can feel stress getting to her in a way it never did before, that she's unraveling, but she can't. She knows he would worry about her, and she can't put that on him. She needs to stop depending on him, and get back to taking care of herself. She will just have to find a way to deal with it on her own, and until then she will fake it.

Paige finishes her climb up the stairs, and her tired grateful eyes see the door to her room. She's going to collapse in a pile. She's already dreading tomorrow and another seemingly endless day. She just wants to fall asleep and never wake up.

"You're home." Paige looks up to see Mike sitting in the common area of the upstairs. He must have been waiting up for her.

"Yeah." She pauses, looking down at the floor. She doesn't know what else to say. She just doesn't have the energy for her normal snarky responses. He stands up and walks cautiously over towards her.

"I was worried." He admits in a quiet tone, and she looks around to the dark doors of her roommates bedrooms to realize everyone else must be asleep.

"Yeah. Long night. I'm going to bed." She says quickly. She suddenly feels like she may cry at any moment, and she's not sure why. She needs to be alone.

"Hey. You ok?" He stops her before she can dart off, and takes her into his arms in a hug she didn't know she so desperately needed. She immediately clings to him, feeling relief in his arms.

If someone were to walk over and see them, this could be friendly. Sometimes the lines got so blurred. She buries her head in his shirt, and inhales deeply. His arms wrap tighter around her and he rests his chin on her head, completely enveloping her in his embrace. She pulls away from him slightly. He loosens his grip to let her go, but instead she tilts her head up and presses her lips to his.

They are standing in the hallway and there is no doubt if someone were to walk by, they could not be mistaken as friends any longer. He pulls back, looking shocked. She feels defeated but he only looks at her for a few seconds in surprise before scouting the empty hall. When he doesn't see anyone else around, he walks backwards towards his room, dragging her with him. Once he's pulled her inside, he lets her go, to turn around and close the door behind them. He turns back to stare at her intensely, trying to make sense of her behavior.

"You're shaking. What happened?" He asks in a quiet voice. She shakes her head no. She doesn't want to talk. She doesn't want to think. She just wants to let go. Mike's eyes search her face, desperate to heal the pain he sees there. "How can I help? What do you need?"

"You." She whispers honestly, looking up into his eyes for the first time since she got home. She knows he'll say no again, but right now she doesn't want anything except for him to make her forget everything.

His eyes assess her face, weighing her words, and she can see him fighting with himself in his brain. He always has so much self control. She knows it's useless, that he'll pat her on the head again to calm her down and tuck her into bed, just like he did the other night when they came home from the bar. Just like he's done every night. But tonight she is too tired to even sleep. She's tired of acting like everything's ok. She just wants to break apart, and she wants Mike to be the one to shatter her.

He suddenly leans down and kisses her, but not with his normal platonic smooch on the forehead. He kisses her lips tenderly, telling her without words that he will give her whatever she wants from him. She wraps around him, responding immediately, telling him silently that she wants everything.

He pushes her back against the wall. He kisses her so intensely, he lifts her off the ground up against the wall, her toes just skimming the floor.

She wraps her legs around his waist, needing this. He pushes his hips against hers, bringing his lips to her neck, bracing himself against the wall to hold up her body. The entire time, she feels him in control. He's holding back. Making sure that this is what she wants. Her fingers tangle roughly in his hair, trying to tell him what she can't say.

"We can stop anytime you want." He murmurs against her skin as he kisses his way down her neck, worshiping her.

"Stop..." She gasps and he pulls away to look her in the eyes. His eyes are patient, heavily lidded with lust and loss of sleep, but patient. He gives her an appraising look. "... Stop treating me like I'll break. I want this. I want you." She finishes her sentence.

He turns around, taking her with him, walking quickly to the bed. He gently lays her down and brings himself on top of her. They continue kissing deeply, his mouth unwilling to leave hers. She wonders if he thought to lock the door, but can't remember or care. She kisses him back again and again as they make up for months of lost time. Not a word is spoken, they've said them all already, and she tries to keep quiet moans from escaping her lips.

Part of Paige is having trouble believing this is real, even as his soft lips move roughly against her own and she tastes him on her tongue. She's lying on Mike's bed, with him on top of her. She's kissing Mike. No, better. He's kissing her. She can feel him hovering above her, and his lips coaxing hers apart, so his tongue can find entry between her teeth. She can feel the burn of his stubbled chin against her soft skin and the heat radiating down from his muscular frame.

He slides her dress up her thigh, and parts her legs, positioning his fully clothed self between them. He presses tightly against her, his jeans rubbing roughly against her bare skin and she slides a hand under his shirt to feel the warm smooth skin of his back.

After several fevered minutes of their lips desperately roaming at the others, moments of both breaking away to gasp for air before their mouths crash against each others, Paige starts to get impatient. She wants him to go further, but he seems perfectly content to stay just how they are, locked in a tight embrace with his lips kissing hers and his hands roaming her body. Paige is needing more from him.

"Mike…" She moans softly against his lips. His lips move to her neck, sucking and kissing softly, allowing her lips the space to form the words, but the sensation deprives her brain of the ability to form them. She seems incapable of thinking of anything to say but his name.

"Mike. No time… Now." She gasps in his ear as he lays kisses on her collarbone.

"We have time. We have all night." He argues quietly in between kisses to her neck. "You should go slow Paige. There's no need to-"

"Now. Mike, please. I need you inside of me now." She can't see his reaction to her words, but feels him let out a deep sigh, and his lips still against her neck.

Suddenly, without a word, Mike jerks his body away from her. Paige is worried that he's drawn his line. That he's walking away now, like he does every time things get close between them. In her disoriented state, she forces herself to a sitting position to stop him. Her eyes follow him as he walks, not to the door, but over to the nightstand. Her opens a drawer and pulls out a condom. Walking back over to her, still not looking at her, he starts to open the wrapper.

She wasn't even thinking of protection with Mike. With him she didn't want to be protected. She didn't want anything between them. She trusted him. She wanted to be with him completely.

"You... you don't need that. I got tested at the hospital. I'm clean." Paige says, embarrassed he would think otherwise. He stops what he's doing and looks up at her, the edge of the wrapper between his teeth.

"I know. I intend to keep you that way." He says, staring at her with wide blue eyes. "I haven't been tested recently. I don't want to take any chances with hurting you."

Sensing they need to talk, he puts the condom in his pocket and sits beside her on the bed. Paige worries she may have just ruined the mood. She wants to cry with frustration. Was it supposed to be this hard? Maybe her and Mike just weren't meant to be together.

She's just about to stand up, apologize and leave, when Mike leans over and begins kissing her tenderly up and down her neck, luring her back to the moment. He places his hand on her knee, just below where his name is carved into her thigh. Nuzzling her ear, he murmurs, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to, but if we do, I want to do it right. I don't want to hurt you, Paige."

"I'm just worried you don't want me now that I'm… damaged goods or whatever." She can't believe she just voiced that fear out loud. What is wrong with her tonight? Why is she so weak? She's not this girl. She can't look him in the eye. She doesn't want to see his reaction.

He stops kissing her and she can feel his eyes on her, but isn't brave enough to look up.

"You're not…" If he tries to tell her she's not damaged, she'll know he's lying. She's prepared to tell him off, but he puts his fingers under her chin and brings it up so she has to look in his eyes. He's looking into hers intently, trying to find his words there.

"I want you." He finally says resolutely. He takes her hand in his and presses her palm firmly to his jeans, leaving her no question that he's not lying about that. Even through the denim she can feel him hard and hot under her hand.

"I always want you." Mike whispers the confession, leaning in to kiss her mouth again. His hand coming up to her breast, massaging her through the thin fabric of her dress. Paige kisses him back, squeezing him through his jeans and he groans against her lips. It's the first crack she's seen in his carefully controlled demeanor, and it sends a thrill of danger down her spine.

Mike begins to push her body back on the bed, twisting his own body on top of hers once again.

He reaches down and unzips his pants, removing them entirely. His movements are uncharacteristically clumsy given his nerves, and that he refuses to let his lips leave hers. Taking a moment to break away, he quickly sheds his shirt as well, before kissing her once again. He's now completely naked above her but Paige only gets a second to appreciate the view before his lips are on hers again.

He slides her panties down her legs, but he makes no move to remove her dress, and Paige bites back the shame in the fact that he doesn't want to see the evidence of other men, of her humiliation, on her skin. Even though her bruises are fading, she feels too dirty to deserve the worship Mike's bestowing on her body.

Mike reaches down to his pants on the floor and grabs the condom, sliding it on. Paige watches nervously as he does so. Suddenly it all seems so real. She's going to have sex with Mike. This will change everything. It's Mike. Holy fuck what is she doing? Can they really do this?

He positions himself back above her, kissing her lips softly as he does. He wraps her thighs around his waist, rubbing the outsides of her bare legs gently. She can feel him hard, rubbing against her. Holding her hand up by her head, there fingers entwined, he pulls away so he's staring down at her face. He uses his other hand to reach between them, and she feels the tip lining up with her slit. She knows what's coming and she trembling.

"Tell me you want this." Mike whispers to her. He has to make sure. "Tell me you want me."

"I do. Mike, please." She whispers.

He pushes himself into her, watching her face carefully as he slides into her inch by inch and she gasps as she feels him sinking into her. Once he was finally inside her completely, neither was in a hurry. Time seemed to stop. It was comfort, it was knowing they were together and safe in this moment. Both their wide eyes lock on the others, and he gives her a shy smile. Paige smiles back, and almost laughs. Neither actually thought they would ever make it to this point. His smile is tender, and he leans down and kisses her gently before he starts to move his hips.

He makes slow drawn out thrusts, sinking into her, and then slowly pulling himself out again before slowly pushing into her again. They both tried to make no noise. The house was dark and still, but others were home. For several minutes the air is filled with no words, just heavy breathing, and the sound of their lips pressing against the others as his body thrusts into hers again and again. Paige wants this to last forever, his body heavy and hot on top of her, comforting her like her favorite blanket. He was moving at an agonizingly slow rate, building a slow burn in her.

He penetrates her again and again in steady rhythm, kissing her neck as he does so. She can't believe this is finally happening, that it's Mike who's on top of her, thrusting deep inside her. It's so new, yet so familiar at the same time. His hot skin pressed against hers, the soft grunts of effort he makes with each move, the way his arms tremble slightly from either exertion of holding himself up or holding himself back.

She looks up at his face, his eyes squeezed shut, his lips slightly parted. She doesn't know how anyone can look so innocent and so god damn sexy at the same time. She brings a hand up to brush against his temple, and he leans his face against it instinctively. He can feel her stare and opens his eyes to stare at her inquisitively.

"Are you ok?" He asked from under heavy lidded eyes, continuing his calculated slow pattern of thrusts.

"Yes." Paige's voice is barely a whisper under him, but he hears her. "Yes, I'm… oh god... Mike."

"Good." Mike's brow is furrowed in deep concentration, and Paige tries to take in every observation every detail of this moment because it's Mike. He remains gentle and rhythmic, and she wonders what thoughts are going through his mind.

His eyes are looking past her ear, and she can tell he's focusing intensely. Probably trying to stop that mile a minute brain of his from chattering away. She just hopes he isn't thinking of how he found her. Of how injured, weak and pathetic she'd been. She hopes he isn't thinking about the men who had forced her to that state. Paige can't stop the thoughts now. Flashing through her head are memories of the rape, of the drugs, of the beating, all interlaced with flashes of Mike. Mike saving her, staying with her, and now he's here. He's inside her, and she feels safe but terrified.

She's terrified of the sudden swell of need she has for him. For the onslaught of emotions she can't identify. Even though the two of them are as close as two people can be, it's not close enough and she needs him. This will all be over soon, and he'll be gone and she'll be alone again.

It's all too much, and suddenly she feels suffocated and trapped with him on top of her. She motions for him to switch places with her. He lifts himself off of her immediately, and complies when she pushes him back on the bed. He lays on his back and Paige swings a leg over to quickly straddle him. He stares up at her, taking deep controlled breaths, but quickly catches on to what she's doing.

Paige wonders if Mike really thinks she's so unstable she could just stop now. Nothing could stop her now. She's here with Mike. They're finally doing this. Graceland could burn to the ground around them, and Paige would not stop.

Mike watches Paige perched on top of him with awe. She slowly lowers herself onto him, leaning back on his thighs, closing her eyes and focusing on nothing but the feel of him inside her. His hands are on her hips keeping her from speeding up, keeping her at the maddenly slow pace.

She leans forward on him, finding his lips, and they resume clumsy passionately kissing. She feels wetness on her cheeks and realizes she's crying. Emotion is building within her along with her orgasm, and it's torture. It's too much, she needs to speed up, to release, but Mike keeps her at a slow grind, forcing her to see it through.

"Mike, faster, please. Mike, I need you."

"You have me." He assures her, keeping his slow steady pace, his eyes glued to her face. "I'm yours."

When he feels her tears falling on his face he brings a hand up to her cheek to brush them aside, looking up at her with searching eyes, keeping the slow pace. Looking at him is too intense, so she stares at the wall in front of her, but can feel his eyes on her. She needs to pull it together, she cannot fall apart in front of him.

"Mike." She chokes out. "Please."

She's not even sure what she's begging for.

"Shhh...I'm right here." He soothed her, continuing his slow rocking motions, "Let go."

"Mike..."

"Look at me." He brings a hand to her face, cradling it gently with one hand, while his other hand continues to guide her hips. "I'm right here. Stay with me. You're safe. I've got you."

She forces her eyes to connect with his gentle stare, tears streaming down her face, as she breaks apart.

She rolls to her side, facing away from him crying muffled sobs into his pillow. She'd never orgasmed from just penetration before. She didn't know she could. It was deeper than anything she'd felt, like it vibrated her very soul. He wraps around her, cradling her trembling body against his, stroking her arm and laying soft kisses on her shoulder.

When Paige has finally pulls herself together she's embarrassed. She doesn't cry. Never in front of anyone unless she's trying to accomplish something. She's not even sure what has her so damn emotional. She lies there in the silence, too ashamed to roll over and face him. She wishes she was alone. He shouldn't see her like this. She feels his erection poking against her backside and feels guilty.

"You didn't-" She chokes out, her voice still breaking from her tears.

"Don't worry. I'm fine. Go to sleep." Mike whispers, kissing her shoulder lightly.

"I should help you finish." She starts to roll over, she can't leave him like this. He must be uncomfortable.

"Not tonight." His arms keep her in place facing away from him, nuzzling her shoulder protectively. "You need to sleep."

"Yeah, I guess me bursting into tears is kind of a mood killer. I can see why you wouldn't want..." Paige is so embarrassed. Of course he's thinking she's a crazy person crying in front of him like that. She must have totally freaked him out. He's never going to want to touch her again, and he's definitely going to insist she talk to her shrink again.

"I promise it's not that." Mike cut her off. "Look it's just biology. It'll go away. I don't care about finishing, ok? I care about you."

"I'm sorry, I'm such a mess." She mutters, the energy all leaving her. Suddenly she's overcome with an intense wave of exhaustion. Mike holds her and tenderly kisses her hair while she surrenders to sleep. Just before sleep takes her, she thinks she hears him say something else, but must just be imagining it.