Hiii : )

Jade's POV

I let Tori pick a station and ignored the Kesha song that was playing while I drove. I love to drive. More so at night, but for now I'd settle for this.

I was speeding along the freeway on the way to a mall in Beverly Hills to start off "girl's night". Although I didn't really care for the mall, and I was less than excited about hanging out with Ally, I couldn't help but wonder what today would be like if things weren't so messed up.

I'd never really had a lot of friends growing up. Just Kris. He'd stuck by me ever since we got together. He'd always defend me whenever some loser made fun of my clothes or hair or piercings, and up until recently I thought I would marry him.

I thought he'd take over his father's company, I'd pursue my dreams, and we'd just grow old together. And I was content with that…until I met Beck. I don't even know how to explain what we had…

"Jade," Tori interrupted my thoughts. "You missed the exit!" she pointed to a sign as we passed it.

"Oh," I shook my head. I've gotta snap of it. "Sorry."

I took the next exit and turned in the direction of the mall. I found parking and we walked inside, heading straight to a shoe store. For two hours I trailed behind the three of them while they browsed and tried on random items of clothing.

Finally we passed a store that remotely caught my eye. It was a dimly lit adult clothing and toy store. I looked back to see the girls standing at a kiosk trying on perfumes and entered the store.

"Hi there honey, can I help you with anything?" A tall blond man said from behind the register. His outfit and tone made me think he was gay, but I didn't want to be stereotypical.

"Yeah, maybe," I said as I approached. "I'm looking for something…sexy to wear."

"Right this way," He smirked and led me to a back section of lingerie. I looked through about three racks until I found what I was looking for. I pulled out a black babydoll top that had matching underwear. It was all see through sheer black except for the bra part which was black lace; something I think Beck will appreciate. I ran my fingers along the shirt and saw that it had a slit in the middle where it would expose my stomach. Perfect.

"Mmhmm that one definitely makes a statement," the cashier said from behind me. "You can try it on, if you want. Just not the underwear, you know, sanitary reasons." I held up the thin piece of fabric that the underwear was made of and understood.

"Sure," I smiled and went to a dressing room. The shirt fit perfectly, and I walked outside to look at it in a mirror. I wondered how it would look without my jeans while I posed for my own reflection.

"Wow," I heard Tori say from behind me. "That's…"

"Hot," Ally finished for her. I turned around a little embarrassed, I'd forgotten that they were here.

"Oh hey guys…you really think it looks okay?"

"Yes!" Cat squealed.

"Kris is gonna love it," Ally said, nodding. Kris. Right. My boyfriend.

"I'll take it," I told the cashier. I can't wait to model this for…someone.

Beck's POV

Andre, Robbie, and I had started our guy's night off by hitting the arcade and were now eating at our favorite burger place. To my surprise, Robbie had been acting like himself, despite his earlier comment.

"So what makes it a corn dog?" Robbie asked as he stared at his corndog.

"It's surrounded by corn bread," Andre explained.

"Oh…and what makes it corn bread?"

"Just eat your food!" Andre said not wanting to have another one of these conversations with Robbie. I laughed, some things never change.

"So Beck," Andre shifted his attention to me. "How're you and Ally?" Why was he asking that? What did he know? No. No. He doesn't know anything. Relax.

"Uh we're good," I nodded. Phew.

"Really?" Robbie raised his eyebrows at me. "And how are you and Jade?" Damn it.

"Him and Jade?" Andre questioned. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh nothing," Robbie said. "Just wondering how Jade is liking Hollywood Arts is all. She and Beck have become good friends. Isn't that right?"

"Uh yeah, she's cool." I said trying to sound calm. "And I think she likes HA so far. She signed up for the Halloween Spectacular so she's pretty excited."

"Yeah, I wanna hear her sing," Andre replied, not picking up on Robbie's accusatory tone. "I wonder if she's good." So do I.

"I guess we'll see," I said. "Let's go?" We got up and left. Once we were at my RV we started playing video games and I was thankful to give Robbie a distraction. The last thing I needed was for anyone else to get suspicious about me and Jade.

Jade's POV

"Thanks so much for doing this, guys," Ally said. "It really means a lot to me, and it was exactly what I needed." We were all sitting around Tori's living room, reading magazines and talking.

"No problem," Tori smiled. "So is Beck still acting weird?" Ugh, could we change the subject. I kept my eyes on the new pearphone I'd just bought at the mall, but listened for Ally's answer.

"I can't really tell," she said. "I'm starting to wonder if it was all my imagination." It wasn't. I'd heard once that a woman always knows when a man is cheating on her, and I guess this proved that point.

"Maybe he's planning a surprise for you!" Cat suggested with an ecstatic expression. No, no surprise…just betrayal. And deceit. God, I'm not sure how much longer I can take this guilt.

Ally was really a great person, and I could tell that she was madly in love with Beck. On one hand, I was extremely shameful. I hated lying to Kris even if he acted like a jerk sometimes, and especially to Allison who'd been nothing but nice to me since I showed up. And on the other hand, I was greedy. I wanted Beck to be mine.

"I don't think so," Ally replied to Cat. "But enough about me. Jade, what's up with you and Kris? Is that outfit you bought today for his birthday or something?"

"Uh no…just for fun," I answered. If I told them I wasn't speaking to Kris right now, that would only make things weirder to explain. "I like to spice things up…you know, keep the fire alive and all that." I sounded so lame.

"That's probably a really good idea," Ally said nodding. "I wish I had enough guts to wear something like that. Beck would freak." I hope so.

"You should totally buy something like that!" Tori suggested. "And then you two can finally…you know." She winked. Wait, finally? Hadn't they been together for awhile now?

"I don't know…" Ally blushed. How cute. Wait, not cute at all! She was talking about having sex with Beck. My Beck. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet…"

"Well if you're not ready, you're not ready," I said quickly.

"It just that…you only lose it once and I want it to be special, you know?" she said. "You guys probably think that sounds lame." She shook her head.

"Not at all," I admitted. "It should be special." I wished my first time was.

"Yeah," Tori nodded. "And with someone you love."

"Well…I do love Beck…I don' t know, maybe I should."

Oh my god. This girl was willing to give up her virginity to a boy she thought was being faithful to her. And here I was…ruining everything for her. Maybe Robbie was right. I mean, I couldn't be sure how I felt about Beck, but Ally had it all figured out. She loved him and he loved her. And I was just getting in the way.

I let them finish the conversation while I got lost in my thoughts. I can't handle the fact that I'm misleading Ally into thinking I'm her friend while I'm seeing her boyfriend on the side. Not anymore. I have to talk to Beck.

Beck's POV

I had let Robbie sleep on my bed and Andre on my couch, which left me with the floor. I was laying down listening to Robbie's obnoxious snoring and the conversation Andre was having in his sleep. How was I supposed to sleep with them here?

I flipped onto my stomach and took out my phone when it buzzed. I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face when I realized it was a message from Jade. She must've gotten a new phone.

"I'm outside your RV. We need to talk."

Uh oh. Those are the four worst words in the English language. They never led to anything good. I got up and forced myself outside to see Jade sitting in the back of my trunk in her pajamas.

I walked to her and stood in front of her, in between her dangling legs.

"Hi," I grinned at the sight of her. She didn't have any makeup on and was wearing satin pajama pants and a tank top. She must've been freezing.

"We need to talk," she said as I rubbed my hands on her arms, her skin was like ice. How long had she been out here?

"Yeah, I read that," I pointed out. "What's up?"

"I—we can't see each other anymore," She said looking away from me.

"What?" I spat out. This wasn't happening. "Why?!"

"Because Beck, it's wrong," she said sternly.

"Well…yeah…but…" I stuttered. She was right. This was way wrong. "But I don't want to stop seeing you. I can't!"

"I don't want to either! But I can't handle the guilt anymore," she looked up at me with a sad expression and watery eyes. "Ally is—is really nice. And she loves you. I don't want to hurt her. Or Kris."

"Kris? You're worried about hurting that asshole?" I can't believe this.

"Beck, come on, we knew this couldn't go on like this forever," she stood up in front of me. "It's just better we end things before one of us gets really hurt."

"Well it's too late for that." I said. I feel like she just ripped my heart out.

"Beck, don't be like this," she begged me, small tears rolling down her cheeks. "Come on, you're not the kind of guy that cheats. You're too loyal for that. And I, I just want you to be happy."

"I—I," I couldn't turn my thoughts into words. Why was she doing this? I can't let her walk away from me like nothing every happened.

"Just…go back to your life," she said before kissing my cheek and leaving me standing in my driveway, stunned.

I stood there like a fool for God knows how long. I don't know what to do. I just want to be with her.

Wait. An idea struck me.

I know what to do.

Jade's POV

The next day at school, I tried to look like I hadn't been up the whole night crying in Tori's bathroom. None of them had noticed that I'd left and come back. I couldn't wipe the look on Beck's face last night out of my memory.

He looked so…sad. It's okay though. He'll be sad for awhile, but then he'll get over it. He'll go back to being happy with Allison, and I'll go back to my life with Kris. Order would be restored in the universe. At least that's what I tried to convince myself.

It wasn't working though. I spent the morning ignoring my teachers' lectures and daydreaming about Beck. I hadn't seen him all day, and decided to skip lunch to make things less awkward.

Instead I went to the library to do homework, well pretend to do it anyways. When the first bell rang to go back to class, I went to go use the restroom quickly.

I walked inside the girl's room to find Tori and Cat standing on either side of a hysterical Allison. Her eyes were puffy and red while tears fell down her face like waterfalls. I got closer to them to hear her sobbing uncontrollably and wailing in incoherent sentences that I couldn't understand.

"What happened?" I said urgently while Cat and Tori tried to hand Ally tissue after tissue. Ally looked up at me, her chest heaving up and down from crying.

"B-Beck b-broke up with me!"