Chapter Twenty-Six

It turned out that Atal Ra was more than it appeared from the surface. In fact, the academy had several levels beneath the chamber floor, designed for training in various professions and disciplines. Each floor had its own… feel… true to the nature of the profession, almost like Devona was walking into different worlds with each flight of stairs she descended.

On the third sub-level, she heard the enticing sound of clanking steel, and was momentarily stalled watching the drills of the Asuran phalanx that had been so frighteningly effective in the battle against the Seer's forces. Why couldn't her unit be so disciplined and precise? What was their secret? Maybe if she watched long enough…

"Focus!" She reminded herself loudly, then sheepishly dashing down the next set of stairs when the entire phalanx, still in eerie unison, stopped what they were doing and looked at her oddly. She didn't raise her head until she reached the bottom floor, and sighed when she reached the conclusion that she had went too far.

"In my damned thirties…" She grumbled to herself as she took the same polished granite steps upward. "Why can't I act like it once in a while?"

Two upward flights of steps brought her to her intended destination, the Paragon Halls of Atal Ra. She almost missed it going up as she did when going down, because it looked nothing like she expected. Anticipating Elonian architecture and design, instead she found a distressingly bare cream hallway with a plush red carpet beneath her feet, a myriad of uniformly spaced bland wooden doors extending down its great length.

All of the doors were closed, and Devona sighed at the task ahead of her. He could be anywhere; if he was even here at all. Perhaps she should check the other places Yue suggested first…

"So…" A sharp hissing voice carried down the hallway, perking Devona's ears. "Now that you have told me exactly what happened… perhaps now you can get to what is bothering you."

She cautiously approached the doorway, the first one on the left side. And once she got right up to the wooden barrier, Coran's voice, which apparently didn't carry nearly as well as the Forgotten he was talking to, could be heard.

"I know it doesn't make much sense, Aresssh. But I can't help but think there was something more I could have done, something I missed… anything… anything that could have kept that blank, terrified look off her face. That monster ***** her… maybe not physically, but it was a definite forceful violation."

Aresssh made a sound that somewhat resembled a sigh. "Nine years, and still you continue to allow yourself to harbor grief that is not yours to harbor. It is honorable to accept responsibility for failure…"

"… But it is foolhardy to accept failure as your responsibility." Coran interrupted with a tired groan. "That's just as much dolyak droppings now as it was the first one hundred times you've said it. I bear the responsibility because it is mine to bear. I didn't do enough. I could have insisted Vekk explain himself for fully. I should have done so."

"You would have tried to plan an attack based around children's tales? That would have been a feat."

"It would have been something. As you've so repeatedly quoted, 'to proceed without knowledge renders you as blind as if you have lost your eyes'."

The Forgotten hissed, "I will not debate this with you while you are in this mood. Letting emotion trump your rationality is not fitting a leader, and certainly not fitting yourself in what should be a moment of triumph. Even with the greatest and impeccable of planning, casualties will happen, even to those you care about."

Coran's exhale was so heavy that Devona could hear it through the door. "I don't merely care for her, Aresssh. I love her."

At that point, Devona staggered back three steps. It wasn't that she was surprised; the feelings Devona and Coran had shared for several years were pretty obvious to the both of them. But to admit those feelings to others; that had been something they both had been very cautious of doing; for Devona's budding military career and to prevent the maelstrom of gossip among the royalty. It felt like a barrier in her mind had been lifted, and she had to think about how to respond.

Once she decided, her actions were deliberate. She rapped four times on the door to get the occupants attention, then pushed it open, and stood in the doorway. "There you are, my dear." She said neutrally, then turned her attention to the one who had to be Aresssh.

To her eyes, he looked like any other of the few Forgotten she had seen in her travels; the only way he was distinguished in her eyes was the well polished white Istani armor and the equally well maintained golden spear strapped to his back. Although when he bowed slightly to her in silent greeting, she noticed what appeared to be a lock of black hair pulled into a tight tail with a silver tie.

"I hope I am not being too forward, Master Aresssh, but may I have some time alone with the Headmaster?" She requested formally, returning the Forgotten's bow with one of her own.

"Of course, my lady." The Forgotten paragon bowed again, and with a thrust of his tail began to slither past her towards the doorway. "Be warned, he's in a mood."

"I'm sure." The warrior replied, undaunted, getting a closer look at the unusual hair on the back of Aresssh's head as he passed. Closer inspection showed that it wasn't actually his hair, but something that was fastened to the headband about his forehead.

As the door closed, curiosity got the better of her. "Was he wearing… hair?"

Coran chortled once, and replied, "That is actually a Margonite scalp, passed down as a trophy over the centuries down his family line. As I understand, he has several… wears a different one daily much like a human would a hat; a peculiar custom among the few remaining old S'sleth clans… one that most don't follow anymore."

Her interest sated, she returned to the topic foremost on her mind. "So… you really do think you're to blame for what happened to me?"

The prince closed his eyes, trying to sort out his thoughts. "On a purely rational level, no, I don't. Contrary to what Aresssh may think, I have learned his lessons, quite well in fact. What I don't think he understood is that… this wasn't like the Searing. It's different when… this time I watched you harmed. I watched as you went still, and started trembling, wanting to collapse but held in place like you were some… puppet on strings."

He turned away from her to hide the emotions that were betraying his features. "If… if I can't even keep you safe… how can I be expected to ensure the safety of the thousands I supposedly am in line to lead?"

Devona dropped both her hands on his shoulders, and turned him about roughly. "Firstly, I am a warrior. I am trained to be in the front lines. Getting hurt is expected. If you think to shield me from that, you are even more of an idealistic fool than I remember."

She couldn't quite hear his muttered curse under his breath. "For someone supposedly so intelligent, I know I lack considerable amounts of wisdom, as Aresssh does not hesitate to remind me on almost a daily basis. I always seem to be absent when I am most needed, aren't I?"

"There wasn't anything more you could have done about the Searing." She said. "King Adelbern was determined to retake Drascir, nothing was going to sway his mind. Had you done something on your own accord, it would have surely been treason."

Before he could interject, she held up her hand, and said forcefully, "And there was nothing you could have done to have protected me from the Seer's wrath sort of somehow controlling me; and had you managed that… I would have never forgiven you. No man, no matter how much power he holds, can ever truly hold responsibility for all that happens in even the smallest fraction of one second."

She then tilted her head to the ceiling, looking out into space. "You are truly frustrating at times, you know that? You worry that you don't do enough, then you don't even do what you can…"

The warrior couldn't keep up the brave face. Again, the images forced upon her mind stirred in her treacherous memory. "Why… why did you run from me? I'm still… I'm still hurting. The things that Seer made me see, I still see them. They won't get out of my head. I need you… you're the one that broke that things spell on me, and… and… then you couldn't get away from me fast enough."

She felt the embrace about her, and a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I… don't need your protection." She continued, her lungs convulsing in a painful sob. "But… I do need to heal. I think you're the only one that can help me. You worry about your failings; well, this is your failing. It's not just what you do before, what you do after is pretty damned important too."

"I'm sorry… I've been foolish… I should have been…"

"Stop!" The warrior chided. "I don't care what you should have done. I care about what you're going to do now."

Seconds later, she felt his hand under her chin, and his lips claim hers. Her eyes closed instinctively at the contact, but this time, for once, the nightmares didn't come…