Part Two: Again and Again
Nichkhun slowly awoke to rays of sun. His vision was blurry at first, and he sat up quickly. He winced and gnashed his teeth in pain. It took him awhile for his eyes to clear, and he realized he was in a hospital, sitting up in a bed.
He finally noticed his bandmates watching him intently, all gathered around him except for Wooyoung, who was sitting in a chair off to the side with his head in his hands. Nichkhun winced again, but not from his wounds. Memories from last night steadily flowed into his head. He must've been taken to a hospital. He caused this much pain for Wooyoung, and the others.
"I-I-I…" He began hoarsely.
Taecyeon, who was usually manly and joked around, had a gentle but serious expression. "Khun hyung, how are you feeling?"
Nichkhun blinked and slowly looked at himself. He was shirtless, and his chest was diagonally wrapped with bandage tape. His arm was in a sling, and his hand found stitches on the back of his head.
"I'm.. okay." Khun lied, looking to the side.
"Are you hungry?" Junho asked softly.
Khun shook his head.
Wooyoung stood up and slowly walked towards him. Nichkhun realized the furious look in his eyes. Khun flinched and looked down.
"Hyung. Look at me." Wooyoung's voice was cold.
Khun's eyes slowly traveled up the young member.
Wooyoung rushed into his speech. "You're so stupid! Ass! All we asked was for you to get some soju, and you run into the street like a madman! What were you thinking? Is it impossible to look at the streetlight? Or notice cars coming at you? All of us had to rush here at 1 in the morning! Can you be anymore selfish?"
Khun suddenly jolted as a pain in his chest attacked fiercely. Wooyoung's face softened slightly and he took another step forward.
"And… I won a stupid game of mook ji ba and made you get the soju." Wooyoung admitted, looking to the side, tears welling up in his eyes. Not one person in the room had dry eyes.
Khun took a shaky breath and looked to the side. "My… brother called me. My… My mom died. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just so pissed. I have been selfish, working in Korea. I never thought to visit my family once. It's my fault, not yours. I.. I… I'm really sorry. I'm really really sorry."
A tear rolled down his face and he quickly wiped it away with his uninjured hand.
Small gasps spread across the room. Wooyoung looked even more hurt, and his face screwed up. "Khun… Khun… I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean to yell at you." He sat down heavily and burrowed his face in his hands once more.
"No, I'm sorry Wooyoung." Nichkhun managed a sad smile. He sunk down into his bed. "I'm tired. I'll get out of the hospital the day after tomorrow." He mumbled. The rest of 2pm bowed their heads, and shuffled out of the room.
Wooyoung followed them last. He looked back, guilt burning in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but whipped around and walked out the door, closing it behind him. Khun laid down and closed his eyes in frustration. Nothing would ever be the same.
Two days later, Wooyoung and Taecyeon came to pick Khun up. Nichkhun dressed in sweats, and pulled a hat over his bloodstained hair that he could finally wash when he got home and sunglasses over his weary, pale face.
The trio didn't talk at all, and as soon as they walked out the door, a rush of fans and reports squished around him.
"Nichkhun-ssi, can you explain what happened in the car accident?" One asked, while another asked, "There's also rumors that you were bullied by everyone else in 2pm. Is this true?"
Taecyeon was outraged by some of these rumors, and brushed people out of the way with his broad shoulders.
With cameras flashing, fans screaming and throwing gifts at him, and reporters waving microphones in his face while shouting questions at him, Khun felt himself become dizzy. Leave me alone, he screamed in his head. With a growing headache, he stumbled forwards, but managed to drag himself up and stagger clumsily.
Without a word, Wooyoung wrapped an arm around his waist and carefully lead him. Nichkhun flushed lightly, but accepted the help.
Once they were home, everyone tried their best to make Khun comfortable. After he showered and managed to put on his pants, Taecyeon carefully helped him put on his shirt. Chansung gave him hot chocolate along with his medicine. Everyone would ask him how he felt every fifteen seconds.
"I'm okay." Nichkhun reassured Junsu for what seemed like the twentieth time. Wooyoung was the only one that completely ignored him, except a few cold glances.
His stony stare pierced Khun's heart, and finally he stood up. "I'll go to sleep now." He mumbled.
"It's only 8." Junho said in surprise.
Khun faked a yawn. "Oh, I'm tired." With that, he walked to his bedroom.
That night, he tossed and turned. He fell into a half conscious sleep, and was soon in a horrible nightmare. His siblings were crying and kneeling down at the grave of their mom. Khun ran forward. His father turned around, sadness and disappointment in his eyes. His siblings started screaming at him, calling him nasty names, saying he didn't love them enough. Why didn't he just become a Korean if he loved Korea so much?
The dream shifted. He was in a never ending barren field. There was absolutely nothing around him. Khun would run forward, and end up in the same exact looking place. Suddenly, his mother appeared from far off, sadness in her eyes and a sickly shade to her face. She was bone thin, and was reaching out to him weakly.
Yelling and waving his arms wildly, Nichkhun started running after her, but his mom always managed to be a few yards ahead of him. Finally, she crumbled into dust, and he saw his other family members come up and disintergrate too.
Nichkhun woke up from his dream, screaming. It took him awhile to realize he was back in reality. He shuddered, his whole body like jelly, and stumbled from his bed to the ground. His eyes were wide and his skin plastered with cold sweat, and he wrung his cold and clammy hands together.
His door suddenly opened, and Khun, spooked and sure it was his dead mother, jumped up. Wooyoung stepped in and groaned. "Yah! Why are you so freaking loud-" He froze and notice Khun, sitting on the ground hunched over gaping up at him.
"Khun… are you ok-" He stopped and jumped forward when Nichkhun stumbled and shakily lowered himself to the ground. Wooyoung kneeled beside him, and the cold look reappeared in his eyes. He hesitantly reached out to touch his forehead, and immediately pulled his hand back like he had touched a hot stove.
"Whoa! You're burning up!" He said grimly.
Nichkhun had been thinking deeply this whole time, shuddering and twiddling his fingers. He opened his dry mouth and began. "Wooyoung, I-I.. I have to…"
"What? Go to the hospital again?" Wooyoung asked fiercely. "Where does it hurt? Your head? Your arm? Your chest?" Then he shook his head and became stone once more. "Go tell the others."
Khun couldn't help it anymore. Images of his mother crumbling flashed in his head, and he started freaking out like he had just seen a ghost. "W-W-Wooyoung." He was trembling everywhere and his hands wrung faster. "I-I-I… I'm scared. W-Wooyoung, please." He clutched desperately at Wooyoung's pants.
Wooyoung's eyes widened, as Khun's whole body started to vibrate, and his cheeks and ears turn red. Wooyoung pulled him into a tight hug. "It'll be okay." He mumbled.
Khun relaxed slightly into his warmth, but his hands gripped the back of his shirt. "W-W-Wooyoung. Wooyoung."
Wooyoung's hand patted his back. Khun felt Woo's hot tears on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Khun hyung. I've been such a jerk lately."
Nichkhun shook his head and buried his head in Wooyoung's shoulder. "N-No. It's my fault. I think… I think I need to go to the U.S."
Wooyoung nodded. "Of course. We'll all go with you. We can visit your mother's grave and your family. We'll manage the schedule somehow. We could stay for a week."
"N-no. Wooyoung. I-I need to stay longer. Maybe forever."
Woo loosened his grip to look at Khun with an astonished facial expression. "You can't! You've achieved becoming a star. I'll miss- We'll miss you too much."
Nichkhun strangely didn't cry, but he felt a sense of growing dread knotting in his stomach and he flinched as thoughts swimmed in his head. He swayed forward, and Wooyoung quickly caught him and pulled him into another gripping hug.
"No, I have to." Khun cleared his throat and managed to speak slowly. "Family… is more important right now."
Wooyoung become more rigid. "And we're not?" He hissed. "I- We need you Khun. We need you in 2pm."
Khun looked to the side, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Don't be stupid, it's not like I'm Jay, the important leader. I'm hardly a vocal. It'll be fine without me."
Wooyoung once again pulled Khun away from his hug and held him by the shoulders, anger and disappointment burning on his face. "We don't care about that Khun hyung! We care about you. Aren't we family too?"
"O-Of course!" Nichkhun stuttered. "I'll miss you.. Guys. So much." His voice cracked. "I have to do this. I'm not a Korean."
Wooyoung grimaced. "We'll talk about this tomorrow." He hesitated to feel Khun's forehead again. "I'll sleep with you tonight to take care of you."
Khun started to stammer about how that wasn't necessary and he could feel his ears turn red, but Woo already stood up, was out the door, and was soon back with medicine and a wet towel.
After using a thermometer, Nichkhun found out that his temperature has risen to 104.5 degrees Farenheit. He was coated in sweat, so Wooyoung carefully undid his shirt so gently that Khun only winced once when the sleeve was pulled over his broken arm.
Wooyoung paused a second to catch his breath. Nichkhun's skin was a bit paler than usual, but it still gave the glow of a true Thai prince. Woo's heart fell when he saw the bandages wrapped around his chest, but he could still see some healthy muscles.
Nichkhun coughed and dizzily climbed onto his bed. Wooyoung laid down next to him and soothingly rubbed the damp towel over Khun's back, who sighed and arched into him.
Khun shuddered from the sudden coolness, but was instantly relieved. He still felt dizzy, but managed to turn around, face to face with Wooyoung.
"Wooyoung-ah," He began, looking into his eyes. Wooyoung stared back.
"I'm sorry." Khun winced and looked away. Wooyoung smiled meekly and gently rubbed his forehead with the towel, without a word.
"And Wooyoung?" Khun asked. "When… if I leave.. Pretend you don't care. Pretend you don't know me. It'll hurt less for me."
Wooyoung didn't answer, although a frown twisted the corners of his mouth. He silently rubbed the towel across Khun's chest, as they both slowly fell asleep.