I guess I have to admit I am disappointed. Barely anyone reviews anymore (except junbug, thank you, buddy). If no one reads my story then I won't write it anymore, except I love writing it so bad. Please give me a reason to continue! But anyways, here is this chapter that you all (or not) have been waiting for. Maybe not, but I'm going to shut up and write now.

I was led back by Peeta to his room and allowed me to use his shower to wash away (or try to) the dried tears under my eyes. They say the shower is the best place to cry a whole lot, because you are already wet, the sounds drown out your sobs, and hot water sometimes makes your face red and puffy so no one does a double take if you come out a mess.

Peeta lent me one of his T-shirts and so ten minutes later, in a shirt too big for me and my old pants; I dragged myself out of the bathroom and curled up in a little ball next to Peeta on his bed.

"I'm sorry that…it happened," Peeta put his arm around me. I could tell he was about to say "he died" but changed it for my sanity's sake.

"It was horrible," I whispered, putting my head on his shoulder, trying not to get all choked up again. "I-I got there and the doctors said that he was unconscious, but when I sat down next to him and said his name, he opened his eyes and said mine back. Then he just…" I swallowed past the lump in my throat and left the end of my sentence hanging in the air.

"Just out of curiosity, what happens now?"

I turned to look at him with a puzzled face on. "What?"

"I don't know…" Peeta looked as if he regretted saying anything at all. "He just played a big part in your life, and you were so close to him. I hate to see you so devastated, but from a wound this big, do you think it will ever heal?"

He caught me off guard. "I don't know." I admitted. "As much as I am ashamed to admit it, as I sat there on the floor watching him die, I realized something. I did love him, but it took a tragedy for me to recognize that and so I don't know if I can ever go back."

When I turned my head again to see Peeta's reaction, it was pained. Maybe telling him that wasn't the best idea ever. He blinked and looked away from me.

"Peeta, you don't understand." I wanted him to so badly, it hurt. "You have no idea what we have been through together. I am not saying that I love him more than you and would have chosen him over you. I—"

Peeta shook his head slightly to himself, but I saw him.

"I am not joking, Peeta!" I took his chin and gently turned his head towards me. "How could I possibly live without you? You're acting as though I don't love you, but I do!" My voice started cracking. "I do."

Finally, Peeta met my gaze with his own, slightly awkward one. For a second I thought he would turn away again, but instead he gently swept a lock of my hair behind one of my ears. "…I love you too."

That was when I leaned against him and cried for a third time that day. It wasn't as if I wanted to cry so much. Back before we were in District 13, I had always been afraid of showing what I was feeling. If I cried, I would be labeled as weak. If I laughed, I would be labeled as ditzy. If I got angry, I would be labeled uncontrollable without a second thought. Here in 13, it didn't matter, but crying in front of people I loved wasn't on top of my to-do list. It made me self-conscious.

"Dangit…" I hugged my arms around my chest. "I don't w-want to cry in f-front of you."

"There's nothing wrong with crying, Katniss." Peeta loosened my arms and smoothed my hands out, which had been all balled up under my elbows, and set them down on my lap. "Don't think that you have to stop because I am here."

"Crying d-doesn't achieve anything." I hiccupped and wiped my eyes with the hem of my shirt. "Expect puffy eyes and a red face."

"I'm sorry I made you cry again." He offered me a tissue from the bedside stand next to him.

I accepted the handkerchief and held it in my hand. "You apologize too much."

He shrugged.

"Finnick and I were talking in the waiting room." I said almost to myself, absentmindedly folding the tissue until it was just a little ball of mashed-up fibers.

"About what?" I could tell Peeta was being very careful about what he was saying.

"…I'm changing my last name to Mellark."

Peeta blinked. "Wasn't it already?"

"No. It is legally still Everdeen. That is what I put on the papers."

"Oh, yeah!" It was as if a little switch had gone off in Peeta's head. "I remember that. So you're changing it? What made you want to do that?"

I sniffed and leaned again into his chest. "It might be because I felt guilty…."

Peeta frowned.

"…because I haven't been fair to you." I added that last part half-reluctantly. "And I keep crying over Gale and Finnick helped me realize that I have been using you and I'm really sorry." I made a point not to look Peeta in the eyes.

For a second, he just sat there blinking at me before wrapping his arms around me again and squeezing my close to his body. "…And you say I say sorry too much."

"But I am sorry." My voice was muffled by Peeta's T-shirt. "I want to make it up to you somehow, but I don't know how yet."

"You already have."

I puckered my brow and glanced up at him to see what he meant, but Peeta had already pressed his lips against mine. A noise of surprise bubbled from my throat, and Peeta cupped his hands around the back of my neck and twisting his fingers into my hair.

My body had already started going into shut-off mode. I closed my eyes and knotted my fists into his shirt, pulling him on top of me. Maybe this would distract me from the pain I was feeling, I didn't know.

I could feel one of Peeta's hands leave my hair and curl around my waist. The whole of his body was pressed against mine and I was more aware of it than I had ever been.

His fingers trailed a little farther down and when I felt it brush against the waistband of my pants, I pulled away in surprise.

"I-I'm sorry," Peeta was immediately blushing profusely. He began to roll back off me when I grabbed his arm and held him where he was.

But I wasn't sure what I was going to say. "You—it's-it's okay…" I shook my head as if to clear it from the cobwebs. "It's okay."

Peeta frowned down at me, and when I didn't elaborate right away, he frowned again and began twitching.

"I-I'm sorry that it was Gale…" I wasn't quite sure he got what I was saying.

Sure enough, Peeta looked at me with a funny face on (still half-way in the process of getting off me). "What?"

"What I'm trying to say is that…" I bit my lip and tried to look him in the eyes. "What I'm trying to say is that I am sorry that it was Gale instead of you."

For a second there I could see the little gears in Peeta's head working as he figured out what I meant, and when he did, it was as if a little light bulb lit up above his blond head. "So-"

But the rest of his words were lost against my mouth as I pulled him onto me again, and this time, I didn't stop him.

I hope that didn't bother you guys too much. Me and my bff decided that it was necessary to have that happened, so no complaining, y'all. By the way, By "I'm sorry it was Gale and not you", Katniss meant she was sorry she *ahem* with Gale instead of with Peeta. Anyways…. pretty please review.