Disclaimer: The Hunger Games and its characters are all property of Suzanne Collins. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.
17
I feel my stomach drop in both shock and relief. At least she's not in any danger like I had thought she'd been. Still, I can't believe it. Pregnant?
"That's why you've not been able to see her. She's on total bed rest after nearly suffering a miscarriage."
I can't say anything. I just stare at her. My mouth is suddenly dry. I try to form words but I can't even think of anything to say.
"She's told me it's yours," she continues matter-of-factly. "She thought you had the right to know though I can't see why." And then she walks away, leaving me alone to digest the news by myself.
Belle is not a vile woman. She just blames me for the death of her husband and for nearly losing her daughter. She has every right to be mad at me right now but I still would appreciate it if she came back and talked to me. How was Madison doing? Was she happy about the baby? Baby. We are having a baby.
I'm still in shock when Nurse Everdeen comes to visit me. She helps me up out of bed and walks around the room with me, helping me with my balance. It still hurts to move a lot but my pain today is numbed by the shock of Belle's announcement.
"Did you know?" I ask suddenly as she sets me back down in my chair next to my bed. She knows I prefer sitting to lying down.
"Know what?" she asks casually, no doubt thinking my random question was just a side effect of the medication I am taking.
"About the baby," I say. Now that I've thought about it as a baby, I can't think of it as anything else.
Nurse Everdeen freezes, giving me my answer straight away. I now understand why she was so hesitant about informing me about Madison's condition.
"Why didn't you tell me? I ask.
"Because you had enough to deal with already," she says matter-of-factly, busying herself with changing my sheets despite the fact they are clean enough. "It's a nice day today. Shall we see if the doctors will let you outside?"
She's trying to change the subject but at the moment I can't think about the fact that I haven't seen the sun since Tribe 10, all I can think about is Madison and our baby.
"Nurse Everdeen," I plead, silently asking her to tell me the truth.
She eventually sighs, stops messing about with the bed linen and looks me in the eye. "I didn't know how you would react," she explains. "And for a few days it was touch and go whether she'd lose it or not but they both held on. That baby's a fighter."
"Just like its mother," I smile, trying to ignore the fact that Nurse Everdeen had hinted she would not have told me Madison was pregnant if she had lost the baby. I want to see her more than ever now.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Fin," Nurse Everdeen sighs. "You've fought long and hard through this too."
"Not really," I disagree. "I just went along with everything like Aberdeen's puppet. Everybody must hate me now."
"You'd be surprised," she mutters under her breath. I get the hint she is keeping something from me again but before I can ask her she says, "How about we take you down to see Madison then?"
Everything else is forgotten as she wheels me down the corridors and into Madison's room. She's propped up against white pillows that shine against the dull complexion of her skin. Her face lights up, however, when she sees me. Seeing her again combined with the fact she is pleased to see me warms the dull ache that had been permanent in my chest since news of how many people had died whilst trying to kill Aberdeen.
"Fin!" she cries happily, reaching her hand towards me. Nurse Everdeen rolls me over so I can hold hands with her before leaving us in peace. "I'm so glad to see you," Madison beams.
"Same here," I smile, holding her hand to my face and laying kisses all over her wrist. "I heard about the news," I tell her, smiling even wider.
Her face falls into a frown as she thinks about what I could be talking about before she gasps in realization. "The pregnancy?" she asks. I nod, still smiling like a fool. She scans my face before breathing a sigh of relief. "I thought you'd be angry," she admits quietly.
"Why?" I ask, shocked.
"Because we have enough to deal with already," she tells me. "First everybody in the country is talking about you being alive when everybody thought you were dead. Then there's Aberdeen's death and the whole country is in chaos because they still haven't decided who to elect."
"That's got nothing to do with us," I tell her, gently laying a hand on her stomach. "Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"
Madison giggles, swatting my hands away. "Snap out of it, Fin," she says, "You need to keep your head straight. For another thing, my mother isn't particularly fond of you right now."
"Oh I know," I say lazily. "She came to see me before. You have her hair." I feel drunk from happiness especially when Madison giggles again.
"I love you," I tell her honestly, realizing it is the first time I have said it.
"I love you too," she replies making my heart soar.
However my happiness is short-lived when Nurse Everdeen returns to Madison's room with Belle Hawthorne in tow. Belle narrows her eyes at me whilst Nurse Everdeen looks me over with concern.
"The government officials are here," she informs me. "They want to see you."
"Me?" I ask. "Why?"
Nurse Everdeen doesn't respond but rolls me away from Madison's bed and back down the corridors. I try to ask what's going on but her grim expression tells me not to. We don't go back to my room as I first expected we would. Instead she wheels me into a conference-like room which shares the same white theme as the rest of the hospital. Even the long table is such a pale wood that it looks white.
On one side of the table, facing the door, sit five men in fancy suits. I know they're from the Capitol by the way that they sit but they look relatively natural.
"Finnick Odair Jr.," the middle man – the eldest – acknowledges me with a nod of his head. He looks pointedly to Nurse Everdeen who makes her apologies and hurries out of the door leaving me with them on my own. I wouldn't have minded had I been dressed in something more than a paper thin hospital gown.
"It's just Fin," is the first thing I say because them calling me by my full name reminds me of Johanna. I wonder how she is doing.
"Very well," the oldest says as if I've disappointed him already. He leans forward on the table, arching his fingers and touching them at the tip just as Plutarch used to do. "As you know, the country is in a state with no new President being elected." I nod, letting them know I've been keeping up on the news. The country has been without a leader for over two weeks now.
"There have been talks on who the public would like to see elected," the man to his right continues. He's much shorter than any of the others. "And the public all seem to want the same thing."
I don't like were this is going. I know exactly what he's going to say before the oldest man says it.
"They want you to become the new President, Fin."
I sigh, wincing slightly as I hurt my ribs. I should have seen this coming when I realized the government were being too slow on electing another leader.
"Are you asking me outright if I want to do it?" I ask.
"You don't have a choice," the eldest tells me. "The public want nobody else."
I think of all that I have done over the past year. How could they want somebody like me leading the country? Are things really that desperate?
"What if I refuse?" I ask.
"Then you will have let the country down," he states plainly.
I stare at him. I had been expecting him to force me into the position but when he put it like that I realize I can't really refuse this. He is telling me this is what is best for the country. And maybe he is right.
"You have until tomorrow to think about it," the shorter man tells me. The other three nod in agreement. "We will return tomorrow noon for your decision. I hope you make the right choice."
They're not forcing me to do this; no contract has been thrust upon me. This is my choice. Maybe the Capitol is changing after all.
(*)
I wake up the next day to find Britney sitting in the chair beside my bed.
"Good morning," she greets me in her tribal accent, smiling. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," I say, sitting up slowly and running a hand through my hair. Normally Katrina keeps it short and neat but I haven't had a stylist in ages now and it's starting to get a bit crazy.
"Have the government officials spoken to you yet?" she asks, back in the Capitol accent.
I look her over. "You already know they have," I say without even knowing how I know.
"Yes I do," she sighs. "I'm working for the government now but I came here via freewill. I swear."
"So you're not going to trick me into signing another contract?" I ask.
Her smile falters. "I did what I had to do, Fin," she says. "Please don't judge me on that one decision."
"Right," I mutter. "Forgive and forget. Got it."
"You could really make up for all your wrongdoings by becoming President," she says. I stare at her.
"What do you mean by wrongdoings?" I ask.
She sighs and rolls her eyes. "Come on, Fin," she says. "We both know you think you're the walking devil right now but this could be a way to make up for everything."
"How?" I ask. "Running a country isn't an easy thing you know."
"I know," she says. "But you can end the Hunger Games…again."
"You mean they haven't stopped them?" I ask, bewildered.
"Construction is still going on for the other arenas," she informs me, "Unless somebody with the right power says 'no' the Games will continue." She cocks her head to the side, looking me over. "Isn't this what you wanted to do all along?" she asks. "Stop the second generation of the Games?"
"Of course it is," I say. "But to lead the country?"
"You could help the Tribes," she says in a quiet voice. "I know for a fact the Officials just want to sever all ties with the rest of the world but you could help them."
I think of how Britney had talked me into representing the Games in the first place. Maybe this is her reparation as much as mine. If she can talk me into representing something good then it will make up for her wrongdoings too.
"Your parents would be proud of you," she says suddenly. "As would your child."
"How do you know?" I ask, referring to the knowledge she has of Madison's pregnancy.
Britney smiles, understanding what I mean she says, "Madison's been spreading the news all over the hospital. Her mom isn't too best pleased."
I smile at the thought of Madison being so happy. "Does she know?" I ask, "About the Officials asking me?"
"No," Britney says, "It's all hush-hush at the moment."
"My head hurts."
"I'd say sleep on it but you've done enough of that already," she says, getting up and leaving. "I'll let you think. The Officials will be here in an hour."
I spend that hour going over everything in my head. I think of Britney and how frightened she must have been when Plutarch kidnapped her brother under Aberdeen's orders. I think of how much Plutarch suffered over twenty years; how his children would have been brought up in captivity before being so cruelly left to die underground. I think of how the Games messed up Aberdeen's mind; I wonder if she would be the same had the victors voted 'no' to the last Hunger Games. I think of the most recent Hunger Games and the people who died in that arena. I think of Aiden's mother asking me to stop the Games. I think of 2F winning and how happy she was to win a life in Panem. I think of the uneducated people of the Tribes; how they rely solely on their instincts and how some of them starve to death.
I think about my mother; what she would want me to do. She had killed herself under Aberdeen's orders to protect me. I think about my father; whether or not he would have known about me before he went off to fight. I wonder what he would want me to do now. I think of Nurse Everdeen who lost so much in the Revolutionary War. I think of Johanna, Katniss and Peeta and how they saved my life. I think of Rosie and Martox, my own baby – I want the future to be safe and good for them.
In the end, it doesn't come down to what I want. I owe so much to so many people that I need to decide what's best for them. Maybe having a President who is from a District and not the Capitol would do the country some good. We certainly managed fine under Paylor's rules before she was murdered.
I am silent as Nurse Everdeen collects me and pushes me down into the conference room. She doesn't ask what I am thinking about. Maybe she doesn't want to know.
Before any of the five Government Officials can speak, I say in the loudest, clearest voice I have had since before the lashes, "I'll do it."
They seem delighted.
"But I want to make a few things clear first," I say. They nod and wait patiently for me to continue. "First, I want Katniss Everdeen to be unbanned from District 12," I say. There is a sharp intake of breath at this. But I continue, "She didn't do anything wrong to begin with, in my opinion. The way she tells me, President Coin killed her little sister."
"That is not fact!" the eldest Official roars suddenly. I've clearly touched a nerve. I wonder whether he came from District 13 and was a fan of the late President.
"Release her and I will do as you ask," I say, crossing my arms stubbornly.
"Fine." They reluctantly agree. "Anything else?"
"Yes," I say. "I want Johanna Mason of District 7 to be brought here. I want to introduce her to Katniss. She's gone a bit crazy living on her own." This is a simple wish and they grant it though I can tell they don't really care for Johanna nor my reasons behind bringing her here.
"Anything else?" they ask again.
"That's it for now," I say but then remember something, "Oh, actually I want to write my own speeches too," I add.
They reluctantly agree to this too though I can tell they are debating whether I am more trouble than I am actually worth.
(*)
The next few weeks are a blur of announcements and preparations. Madison is thrilled with the news saying I could finally make a difference and put not only the country but the world to rights. My decision to take control and not run away seems to have earned some respect for me in Belle's eyes too.
"You may be worth it after all," Belle tells me.
"I do love you daughter," I promise her. Madison has just gone to the bathroom – on her own which is a feat she is proud of – and we are talking in her now empty hospital room.
"I know you do," Belle sighs. "It's just that I'm so scared of losing her like I lost Gale. I'm from District 2, Fin, I lost both my parents in the War and my brother is also a Guardian. I'm so sick of war."
"There will be no more war," I say, gripping her hands. "I promise you."
That was the day I earned Belle's full respect.
Johanna and the Mellark family arrive at the Capitol in the next week. I don't get to see them as I prepare for everything but Nurse Everdeen tells me they are doing okay.
"That was a nice thing to do for Johanna," she says to me whilst I cross through another line. I'm sat in the hospital conference room, trying to work out a good speech.
"It was the least I could do," I say, without taking my eyes off my paper. "She saved my life."
Nurse Everdeen smiles, then wraps her arms around my shoulders and rests her chin on my head. The interaction is so motherly that I find myself choking back tears. It reminds me of the few days after my mother's death when Nurse Everdeen would find me crying at the kitchen table whilst looking out onto the sea. She'd hold me like this until I calmed down. Having had a mother who didn't hold me often, I didn't react well to full on hugs until much later.
"You did good, Fin," she tells me, her voice choked slightly. "You did good."