Disclaimer: (forgot it in the last chapter, sorry) I do not own Rurouni Kenshin…but maybe they won't mind too much if I just 'borrow' him for a while…

This chapter is mostly just Katsura telling Hiko about what happened during the first year that Kenshin was with them, so I'm sorry if it may be a bit boring. I'm not too happy with how it came out either. It seems a bit stilted. Hopefully the next chapter will make up for this one.

By the way, if any of you are interested in Japanese period novels, I highly recommend a series of books written by Laura Joh Rowland about a 17th century Japanese detective named Sano Ichiro. Beautifully written story lines, and there's also a lot of fascinating information about feudal Japanese customs and culture in them.

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Only the Beginning

Written by lolo popoki

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Chapter 3: Explanations

After they had walked, unspeaking, for almost an hour, Hiko finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

"What was he like?" he asked quietly.

"Nani?" was the somewhat dazed reply. Katsura had been deep in thought, not really paying much attention to his rather unfriendly companion.

"Kenshin…my baka deshi," Hiko clarified impatiently. "I only knew him as a child. He was quiet and serious, yet enthusiastic, devoted, impulsive, passionately idealistic, and entirely too stubborn for his own good. I want to know who he was as a man. I want you to tell me what happened in Kyoto these last five years." He shot the other man a fierce glare. "I've heard the rumors of Hitokiri Battousai, and I want to know the truth behind them."

Katsura considered his response carefully before he answered. "I had regarded Himura-san as an adult when I brought him back from the Kiheitai, mainly due to his amazing skill with the blade. After I had spent some time with him, I noticed that despite his youth, he seemed more mature than many of the other men he served with. I didn't bother to see him as the child he so obviously was.

"Looking back on it all, I regret my hasty judgment. He started out as you said: devoted to his beliefs, passionate and eager. Kind and caring, he wanted nothing more than to protect, to help others. He had such a pure spirit." Katsura clenched his fists, a bitter expression on his face. "And I ruined him. I gave him the job of a shadow hitokiri, an assassin, and watched that eager light in his eyes fade more and more with each assignment." He fell silent, his gaze unfocused, as he recalled those earlier days.

Hiko kept quiet, mulling over what the man had told him so far. He was furious with how the Choshu leader had used his deshi to do their dirty work, but found himself unable to actually condemn the man. War was war. From a practical viewpoint, he was only using the resources he had available to him. In a war-time situation, one could not put an individual's well-being ahead of the main objective. Kenshin, like so many others, was simply just a useful tool…a means to an end.

Also in his favor, was the fact that Katsura was so guilt-stricken about what he had done. That awareness didn't make the swordsman any less angry, however.

Shaking off the past memories with a weary sigh, Katsura glanced briefly at his traveling companion before continuing his monologue. "Himura-san did his job without complaint; even though it was obviously tearing him up inside. He had been rather shy to begin with, but he became even more withdrawn, only speaking when absolutely necessary. In less than a year, he was like a completely different person: cold, unemotional, frighteningly efficient. His glare could freeze a hardened fighter in his tracks and make a lesser man quake in terror. Although Himura would never harm an ally, even his own comrades avoided him out of fear. I was afraid as well. Not afraid of him, but for him. He was hovering on the brink of madness, and I feared very much for his sanity.

"Tomoe-san's arrival seemed like such a blessing at the time. He seemed to change a little, finally showing some emotions other than anger. I was amused by how he'd get so flustered around her, so I tried to encourage his interest. I thought a little romance would be good for him. Unfortunately, things got rather tense around that time. We had a spy in our midst, leaking information to the enemy, which led to the slaughter of several of our most important associates. Then there was the Kinmon no hen. Much of Kyoto burned to the ground, including our own lodgings. We all had to lay low for a while, so I sent Himura-san to the country with Tomoe to accompany him as his pretend wife. They decided to marry for real instead." Katsura sighed again, giving Hiko a miserable look. "This is where the story becomes particularly tragic."

He stopped walking briefly to take a quick drink of water from his canteen. His nonstop recitation was making his voice rather hoarse by this time.

Hiko had remained silent during the unfolding drama, listening pensively to Katsura's lengthy account, but the incessant barrage of negative ki coming from the other man was giving the perceptive swordsman a headache. Shooting Katsura an exasperated glare, he decided he needed to try and lighten the dismal mood a little.

"I still can't believe that little baka went and got married… He never even bothered to send me an invitation!" he grumbled in his typically flippant manner.

Katsura gave a startled blink, and then shook his head. "I have to admit, it took me by surprise as well. It was all so sudden." He smiled faintly at the memory of that day. "It was just a quick, simple ceremony; very few people even knew about it, much less attended."

Hiko raised an eyebrow. "I'll bet he must have made a lovely bride," He snorted wryly, a mocking smirk on his face. "Was he prettier than she was?"

Katsura gave a faint, embarrassed cough, and then chuckled softly. "Himura may have been a little too pretty for a man, but Tomoe was a truly beautiful woman. There really was no comparison between the two." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "They sure did make an attractive couple though."

After a short pause, Katsura grinned suddenly, with a sideways glance at his companion. "At least they were about the same height; as tiny as he was, it would have just been too funny if she had turned out to be taller than him!"

Hiko snickered. "The little runt always had been on the small side."

After they laughed for a bit, they both fell silent, feeling a little more comfortable with each other. Hiko was rather amazed to find that he was starting to warm up to the Ishin Shishi commander. Initially, he had wanted to hate the man that had turned Kenshin into a hitokiri and led him down the path to suicide, but Katsura seemed to be completely sincere, and he was surprisingly easy to get along with. It was really no wonder that Kenshin had stayed with him as long as he did. As a rebellious teenager, he would never have followed orders from a man that he didn't respect or agree with.

Feeling Katsura's eyes upon him, Hiko glanced over to see the man studying him with a slightly perplexed expression.

"What's wrong?"

Katsura glanced away uncomfortably, "It's nothing, Hiko-san."

Hiko scowled. "Nothing? With that look on your face? Now tell me, what is it?"

"It's...it's just that you seem to be taking all of this rather well," he murmured cautiously. "I figured you would be a little more upset over the whole situation. Don't you even care?" Katsura studied Hiko's face, curious to see his reaction.

Hiko merely stared impassively at his companion.

"It's simply not in my nature to get all emotional over things," he said at last, abruptly turning away.

Well, so much for the relaxed atmosphere, Hiko thought with some annoyance.

It wasn't the fact that he didn't care; because he did care…very much in fact. And yes, it was true that he was not an overly demonstrative person. However, the truth was that he still felt somewhat numb. His more painful emotions were still sealed tightly behind that closed door. He felt almost detached from the whole affair, as if perhaps it was happening to someone else and he was only an interested observer. It just didn't seem real.

Katsura bowed deeply in apology. "Forgive me if I have offended…"

"You have not," Hiko interrupted curtly. "Now, please go on with your story."

Katsura sighed, regretting the tense mood he had inadvertently caused. "Very well, I will continue."

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Argh…I wanted to put all the explanations into this one chapter, but I decided to break it here. I'd like to try and keep the chapters to a somewhat similar length if possible. I might just skip most of the details for the last 4 years though. Again, I'm sorry if this chapter sucks.

Whoa…I never expected this many reviews yet! Thank you so much!

Sakura Kamitsu: Thank you for reviewing and for the hug, but are you sure about the spelling for 'no'? I looked it up and I was so sure I had it right…

Babika: Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Nekotsuki: I'm really glad that I've managed to hold your interest. I really wasn't sure anyone would like this story, especially with the rather depressing subject matter. I'm really looking forward to your next chapter as well. I'll be so sad when you finally finish.

Rabid Turtle: Thank you for your wonderful review! I'm glad you like it so far. I've always loved the stories where the authors try to dig deeper into Hiko and Kenshin's relationship. They're such an interesting pair. Kind of reminds me of how my grandfather and I used to get along. He threatened to throw me in a dumpster when I was six. He had a very odd sense of humor.

Sailor-Earth13: Thank you again! I'll try not to take too long on updates, but you never know…

Terry-McElrath: Oh my lord! 2 wonderful reviews from another one of my favorite authors! You are just too kind. blushes I'm really glad you like this so far, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy it. I know it is somewhat disturbing. I was really worried that I might offend some people with it. I will admit that it was something I thought about doing quite often at one point in my life. I was lucky to have people who cared about me around though, and they helped me get through it. Poor Kenshin didn't have that kind of support system.

Wistful-Eyes: Thank you so much for reviewing! Hiko's arrival in Kyoto just might have some impact on the final outcome…

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Glossary of terms:

Nani – what

Kiheitai – a militia composed of farmers and merchants organized by Takasugi Shinsaku

Kinmon no hen – a battle that took place on July 19, 1864 in which thousands of Choshu soldiers attacked the imperial palace to try and kidnap the Emperor against Katsura's wishes. The battle lasted only few hours, but much of Kyoto ended up in flames.