Disclaimer: The Hunger Games and its characters are all property of Suzanne Collins. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.
18
Before long I am standing in front of the Capitol's people, in the same spot where all those people died killing Aberdeen just over a month ago. Everybody looks at me with expectation. Some are in awe; this is the first time they've seen me since the Capitol faked my death all those months ago.
"We have lost so much already," I begin, happy but nervous to be using my own words and not reading from an autocue, "It's time that we start helping each other rather than just degrading one another. From now on there shall be no more Hunger Games, no more starvation, and no more wars. Instead of turning those away who come to our borders for help, we will help them in their own countries. We cannot afford to stay selfish and independent. The Big War left so little of us alive that we have to revive ourselves or perish completely."
I glance over to the side of the stage where Madison is waiting unseen in the wings. One hand is placed lovingly over her bump, her engagement ring glinting in the light of the afternoon sun. She grins at me and I'm still smiling when I turn back to the crowd.
"From this day on, the hate is truly over."
It's not an award-winning speech that will be remembered in years to come but it's personal to me and to everybody here today. I leave the podium and the stage to a round of applause. Madison hugs me and kisses me.
"You did great," she says. "And there's somebody here to see you." I follow her into the President's mansion – my mansion – and into my new Office. I had the other Office sealed up. There is no way I can enter that room again after all the pain and death that went on in there. It took me some time to get used to living in the actual building.
Katniss has her back to me when I enter. She is looking out over the Capitol.
"Peeta's with Johanna," she tells me. "You were right; she does need people around her. The kids love her already." She turns to me, giving me a genuine smile that even the burns on her face cannot dim.
"Will you move to her?" I ask.
"No," Katniss says. "I think she will come to us." She smiles at me. "As much as I am grateful for you giving me my freedom, District 12 is my home and I cannot leave it. It's part of who I am."
"I knew you would say that," I say. "What about your mother?" I ask.
Over the past few weeks, when Nurse Everdeen wasn't fussing over me, she had been reconciling with her daughter. I knew things were going to be difficult between the two of them but from what I had heard, things were going well.
"I have spoken to her," Katniss tells me slowly. "But she cannot live in District 12 as much as I cannot leave it," she says. I nod understandingly, aware I still have Madison under my arm. "But I'd like to think we shall talk a lot more now."
She surprises me by giving me a hug. At that moment she is the most vulnerable I have ever seen her and I hug her back. "Would you join us for dinner?" I ask. "Before you go back?"
"We would love to," Katniss smiles. "And congratulations to the both of you," she directs it at both Madison and me. Madison beams, rubbing her bump again.
Katniss leaves us in peace and I put my arm around Madison's back as we look out onto the city skyline. Tall buildings stick out in shapes that remind me horribly of gravestones, the sun casts an orange glow onto the landscape. Below us people walk to and from their places; home from the speech, home from work, meeting up with people. Friends stop and talk, strangers give courteous nods and smiles.
And, for the first time in so long, it all seems so wonderful.
Madison leans into me. "We're going to be okay, aren't we?" she says.
"Yes, we are," I tell her before leading her away from the Office and to our room.
The scars along our torsos are permanent reminders of the lashes we received. Madison tries not to let me know how much they affect her by looking straight into my eyes as we lay down on the bed. I kiss every one of them, letting her know how much I love her despite the grotesque patterns. They are beautiful because they are a part of her; many marks to show how far she has come and how much she has suffered.
Suddenly she starts laughing; an unexpected sound that is music to my ears.
"What?" I ask, kissing my way up her neck. Though I'm happy she is happy, a part of me is still uncomfortable that she's laughing in such a situation.
"I was just thinking," she smiles, "About when I was younger. If somebody had told my fifteen-year-old self I was going to marry Fin Odair I would have probably thrown up in excitement."
I laugh too. "Really?" I say. "But you didn't even know me then. Is that all I am to you? A celebrity mascot? A representative on the TV?"
She hits me playfully. "Stop reading too deeply into things," she scolds. "You're so much more than a representative or a mascot. You know that."
I do now. Now that Madison has helped me to see it.
(*)
The day before the Mellark family depart with Johanna we have dinner as planned. Nurse Everdeen is with us though she's going to stay in the Capitol from now on and working at the Hospital. She sits next to Katniss but she does so comfortably as though everything is okay rather than she is trying to prove a point to me.
"Fin," Rosie runs up to me, jumping up and down excitedly. "Can I sit next to you?"
I laugh. "Of course you can," I say. I end up sitting with Martox and Rosie on either side of me. Madison sits with her mother and her brothers, Tyke and Miko who are just a few years older than Rosie.
"We saw Juppy Kit today," Rosie tells me, beaming. "He says to tell you that you're a 'good lad' and he gave us a free newspaper." She looks so pleased with the freebie it's comical.
I laugh again and make a mental note to pay Juppy for that newspaper later on.
The dinner passes easily. We talk about us, about silly stories and things we've done, and put politics to bed for the night.
"Did your mother ever tell you how your parents met, Fin?" Katniss asks as we dig into desserts. I freeze for a moment before relaxing my muscles immediately so as not to bring a bad atmosphere to the table.
"No," I answer steadily. "Why, did she ever tell you?"
She nods. "Finnick told me she crept up on him and, when I visited you when you were a baby, she told me what he meant by that. Would you like to know?"
I nod, leaning in slightly. I can feel Madison listening too. I remember her telling me how her parents met and how I was upset I couldn't reciprocate. It feels like years ago now.
"It was just before they went into the arena," Katniss says. "Finnick was looking over some papers on which he'd written some good survival tactics." She smiles. "Annie jumped on his back and scared the hell out of him. He ended up flipping her one the floor." We all a laugh a little because Katniss does but there is a sense of unease in the room. For some reason it's odd to relive a memory belonging to two people who are no longer with us. "She told me that she smiled up at him and told him not to give up on her. Apparently, him and Mags were focusing more on the boy tribute than her."
"Survival of the fittest," I mumble.
"Exactly," Katniss smiles. "I think Finnick realized that she was just a young girl who needed protecting, especially after she lost her mind in the arena."
"She needed him to keep her sane," I pieced together, "And he needed her to need him for reasons other than his looks."
Knowing this information about my parents makes me smile. I feel as though I am closer to them.
"Thank you," I say to Katniss.
She smiles back. "Can I have a word outside?"
We leave the table and head out the room. Everyone is silent apart from Johanna who is telling the four children all about her cats at home, oblivious to everything around her.
Once we are far enough down the hall that nobody from the dining room can hear us, Katniss turns to face me. Her eyes are full of shame.
"I voted for that last Hunger Game," Katniss confides in me quickly. "I made Aberdeen what she was and that means Gale's death and all those others are all my fault." I know by 'the others' she is referring to my mother but I can't find it in me to blame her.
"No they're not," I disagree quickly. "You weren't to know what they would lead to. You were confused from after the war and you wanted revenge. It's understandable."
"I hope one day I can believe that," she tells me, sighing. "But I can't help but look back on everything and think how I could have done things differently."
"There's no point looking back," I tell her. "If I'd not walked in on Plutarch murdering Paylor then Gale would still be alive. If I'd run from the beach screaming for help instead of just standing there then maybe my mother would still be here too." I blink furiously, angry with myself that I've let on to Katniss that I've thought about this just as much as her. "But there's nothing I can do now," I tell her.
"Except rule the country well," Katniss points out smiling. "And raise your child well. You'll be a wonderful father and husband, Fin."
"If I have the time," I say, thinking of all the time I will have to give up now I am the leader of Panem.
"You will make time," Katniss says, not as an order but as if she knows I will look after both my child and my future wife well.
"What did my mother say?" I ask suddenly. "About the Games?" I regret bringing them up when I see Katniss' face fall but I can't help it. I need to know. If I don't then it will be just another unanswered question that will haunt me and give me many sleepless nights.
"She said 'no'," Katniss says confidently. "As did Peeta and as would your father if he had been there – at least that's what Annie said. And she knew him best."
She smiles sadly at me before walking back to the dining room. It's as if, now she has had my forgiveness, she can finally enjoy the rest of the dinner in peace. I follow her but she pauses before we can enter through the grand double doors.
"Oh, and Fin?" She turns, looking me straight in the eyes.
"Yes?"
"Annie and Finnick would be proud of you."