A/N-I'm really so sorry I missed the last two update days of my weekly updates...I was writing two ten page research papers at the same time the first week. As for the second week, Sunday just kind of snuck up on me after a week of being seriously blocked while writing this chapter. I'd like to say this is longer than usual, but it's on the shorter end of my average chapter length. I have good reasons for cutting it where I did though...
If I owned R&I there would be a lot more of the kind of fluff that you're about to read :)
Maura couldn't remember the kissing being this way on vacation. Maybe it was months of pent up sexual tension, but there was something so different in this kiss that Maura couldn't place. It still had the same physical properties of most of the vacation kisses; it was hard and passionate, their tongues moved against each other in the same ways. Jane's hands moved under Maura's shirt with the same impatience, even in the same pattern as the last time they'd slept together.
Despite all that, there was something different, something more than she'd anticipated. She'd expected the intensely pleasant physical reaction, the breathlessness, the urge to touch Jane as much as humanly possible, but Maura hadn't expected to feel anything more than that. And she was certainly feeling it, getting the sense that this was way more than a purely physical attraction.
Maura was also just realizing that the scene was actually quite romantic. Jane's apartment had never had exceptionally bright lighting even though Jane had developed a habit of leaving every single light on after leaving a room. Now Jane had only the necessary lights on in the living room, which seemed to soften the edges around everything. It was the kind of soft lighting that one would aspire to for a casual, romantic evening in.
This wasn't the type of any-available-surface-will-do sexual encounter. There was care and intentionality here, in the way the apartment was lit, in the way that Jane had Maura's favorite wine, in Jane's way of gently moving a strand of hair aside in order to kiss Maura's neck.
It made sense, it made perfect sense that, now that she and Jane had such a close relationship, there would be additional attraction, even emotion, in their kissing. It made perfect sense, was a perfectly logical way to feel. But Maura still couldn't figure it, couldn't figure out why, as she kissed Jane, everything felt so overpoweringly, wonderfully intense that it was beyond comprehension or control.
While it felt wonderful beyond words to finally be kissing Jane again, the lack of comprehension and control startled Maura. Those were two things that Maura had always maintained in life and her sexual relationships, but Jane had a way of effortlessly turning that on it's head.
"Bed now?" Jane whispered right next to Maura's ear. It was enough to pull Maura entirely back into the moment.
Maura nodded.
Jane smiled against the skin of Maura's neck and sat up abruptly. Maura barely had time to wonder what the sudden movement apart could mean when Jane bent at the knees and picked Maura up like she was a small child, not a fully grown, 128.2 pound woman.
"Jane! What are you doing?" Maura said, instinctively wrapping her arms around Jane's neck for balance.
"Cave Jane want to take you take you to her bed and have my way with you," Jane said, already moving towards her bedroom.
"First of all, that sentence was a syntactical, grammatical mess," Maura said, though she smiled at Jane's continuation of the cave-woman joke. "Secondly, I have two, fully functional legs, which would have transported me to Cave Jane's bed with far more efficiency."
"Mmm, you're so sexy when you talk about syntax and transportation efficiency," Jane said, moving towards her bedroom. "I think I'm definitely going to have to get you to Cave Jane's bed immediately."
Maura didn't resist Jane's method even though she easily could have gotten free of Jane's grasp. She actually found that she still had her arms wrapped tightly around Jane's neck, holding her body close to Jane's even though she'd still regained her balance after the initial surprised.
It reminded her yet again of how different this whole thing felt than the last time they'd been in bed together. Maura left her arms where they were, wrapped around Jane not out of any sort of necessity, but because she wanted to feel cozy and comfy and close to Jane. It was far less out of pure sexual attraction than just that closeness Maura felt to Jane, the comfort she felt in Jane's arms.
Then, as Jane put Maura down on the bed, it hit Maura like it hadn't before. This sex was going to be so entirely different from anything she'd ever experienced with Jane in either their platonic or sexual relationship.
It was all so dizzyingly, overwhelmingly real and intense to be topless, making out with Jane in Jane's apartment, and now on Jane's bed, feeling things that were not strictly related to her physical response to Jane's groping and kissing. It was all so much that it almost felt like too much to process.
Maura just needed a little bit of time to adjust to the new dynamic of the relationship. She need to slow down.
But that slowdown would require a Herculean feat of self-control, because Jane, after setting Maura on the bed, got to work trailing kisses down Maura's neck as her hand rested on Maura's chest, which was still inconveniently covered by a bra.
"Jane," Maura sighed.
"You like?"
"Jane," Maura said, resting a hand on Jane's chin and guiding the detective's lips toward her own. She gave Jane a lingering kiss. "We've got to slow this down."
"Really? Why?" Jane said in the voice that Jane insisted wasn't whiny, though Maura often had to disagree on that point. It was clear that Jane was trying not to complain or sound impatient, but Maura knew Jane speaking pattern well enough to recognize a bit of understandable impatience.
"Because, just, because I said so," Maura said, unsure of how exactly to explain her reasoning.
"Well," Jane said, remaining in the same spot on top of Maura with only a few inches between their faces. "Ok, um, how slow are we talking here? I'm not pressuring or anything, just confused. I mean taking it slow has never been our thing."
"That's true," Maura said, resting a hand on Jane's lower back. "But it feels different now."
Jane hesitated for a long few seconds, biting her lower lip as she looked in to Maura's eyes, then down to her lips and back to Maura's eyes.
"It kinda does, huh?" Jane replied. "Not bad, really."
"Not at all," Maura said, letting her fingers sneak up under Jane's t-shirt despite her earlier resolution to resist that temptation while they were talking.
Jane gave Maura a soft, short kiss, nothing steamy or sexual, just an expression of affection.
"What are we going to do about it?" Jane asked.
"Cuddle?" Maura replied, realizing that she was pushing it with the suggestion, because Jane had often insisted that she was not a fan of the invasion of her personal space. So she added for Jane's benefit, "and occasional kissing."
"Cuddling and kissing it is, then," Jane said. She stood up from her spot on top of Maura, and put her hand out to help Maura up. "Where?"
"Here," Maura said, moving over to make a space for Jane on what she knew was Jane's side of the bed. "I'll watch whatever you want on television and we can cuddle and kiss. And grope if we find we really can't control ourselves."
"Groping now too, huh?" Jane asked as she grabbed the television remote from her nightstand and clicked the power button. An image of one of the local weather men popped onto the screen, but Jane just pressed the mute button before taking her spot on the bed next to Maura. She kissed Maura for a few seconds, even copping a feel that had Maura pulling Jane closer. Jane pulled away and grinned. "Let's not get crazy now, Doctor Isles."
Maura rolled her eyes and moved so that her arm draped across Jane's stomach and her chin rested on Jane's shoulder.
"Just be glad I'm still topless," Maura said as she planted a kiss on Jane's neck.
Jane sighed emphatically in a way that Maura knew was intentionally exaggerated for comedic effect. Once she'd spent enough time with Jane, observing minutia of Jane's behavior, Maura found that Jane's humor, even the sarcasm, was relatively easy to pick up on; Jane, a creature of habit, had a handful of micro-expressions and gestures that she often relied on. The exaggerated sigh was one of those things.
"I guess we've got to be grateful for the little things in life," Jane said, letting her hand wander to Maura's chest.
"I'd beg to differ," Maura said as she allowed Jane to move so that Jane was now on top.
"Yeah?" Jane asked, a hint of amusement in her voice and a soft smile on her lips. "How so?"
"My breasts are not little things. They're actually slightly above average for my height and weight," Maura said.
"Yeah, no, they're great," Jane said. "Phenomenal actually. Well above average in terms of quality for sure."
"You want to know something else about them?" Maura replied, smiling flirtatiously as she pushed Jane's shirt up in order to touch more of Jane's skin.
"I'd love to know more about your breasts," Jane said, moving against Maura, really just shift her weight, but the movement still felt wonderfully stimulating because Jane's leg now rested between Maura's legs.
"I, they're," Maura said as she pulled Jane's shirt up even further. "They can be very responsive. Given the right kind of attention."
"Good to know," Jane said, sitting up and pulling her own shirt over her head. "Thought I'd help you out with that."
Maura opened her mouth to protest, but Jane kissed her instead.
"No more than that, I promise," Jane said. "Just thought I'd level the playing field. You topless and me with all my clothes on. That's hardly a fair fight. I totally had it harder than you."
Maura laughed and pulled Jane's lips back down to hers because that felt like the only suitable way to convey the affection that Maura felt for Jane in that moment.
"And now we're even," Maura said, resting her hands on the back of Jane's head and pulling Jane's head down for another, longer kiss.
Maura had been right. Granted, Maura was pretty much always right, but, Jane thought, she'd been even more right than usual this time around. This time in bed with Maura felt different, less desperate, but somehow more intense. Physically, Maura had always been able to satisfy Jane, but the emotional part was something that Jane had never been interested in, not with Maura or anyone else. Not for a solid two years or so.
But Maura snuck up Jane, and without even knowing what she was doing to Jane. With that characteristic obliviousness to her own charms, Maura had managed to make kissing something more than kissing and touching something more than fingers on bare skin.
It was scary. But Jane had always liked scary, especially this kind of scary, the kind that comes from fear that a feeling might stop, because being in Maura's arms felt too good to ever stop.
It felt so good that Jane didn't even mind that she only managed to get them both down to bra and underwear. Jane suspected that Maura would have done a lot more with just a little bit of persuasion, but where they were was somehow enough for the moment; they'd done the 'let's rip each others clothes off as quickly as possible' thing for an entire week on vacation. Now, Jane could see the benefit of moving with care, of taking baby steps because what was happening felt a lot bigger and more significant than a vacation quickie.
So they'd found their way under the covers, never paying too much attention to what had turned into a late night infomercial for teeth whitener. And now Jane found herself snuggled against Maura even though she'd swear up and down to anyone who asked that she hated girly things like snuggling up with someone. She'd still deny it in the morning, but, at the moment, she loved snuggling. Jane could and probably would later blame it on the fact that she was drifting closer and closer to sleep with each passing moment, but she'd also liked the cuddling just fine when she was fully conscious too.
Maura seemed to be dozing too. But Jane knew she was still awake, because she did this adorable, soothing thing where she traced slow, lazy patterns on Jane's back as she wrapped her arms around the detective. Jane wondered if it was even a conscious thing, but didn't dare ask. To start with she didn't want it to stop, and then there was the part where Maura looked so peaceful and calm that Jane wouldn't dare rouse her.
Jane leaned forward, brushed a strand of hair aside and gave Maura a kiss on the cheek. Maura stirred and turned to face Jane, her eyes still closed.
Jane wouldn't have been able to tell if Maura was asleep but for the hint of a smile on Maura's lips.
"Night, Maura," Jane whispered.
"Goodnight, Jane," Maura whispered back.
Jane smiled, snuggled closer, and let herself slip into a cozy, comfortable sleep.
A/N-Back to plot movement next chapter, but I thought ya'll deserved this sugary sweet fluff after all those chapters of waiting...And there's no need to worry that I'll make you wait anywhere close to that long for them to move things along ;) Thoughts on this fluffy little slow down chapter?
Thanks so much for all of the lovely reviews last chapter! I got nearly 50 of them, which is super exciting for me, and I wish I had been able to answer the answerable reviews before updating. Just didn't happen for me today, but I want you to know that they were all read and appreciated! I would appreciate reviews for this chapter just as much :)