Disclaimer: Nope...still don't own it.
I'm so, so sorry for taking so long to update! I actually had the majority already written out more than 2 weeks ago, but I had a nasty attack of writer's block about ¾'s of the way through, and just couldn't figure out what to do with the rest of it. And then I went and got a new job, and that's eating into my writing time as well... I really, really needed a job though, so it was unfortunately, a necessary set back. My updates from now on might be a bit sporadic, so please don't be upset...
This chapter is probably going to be quite different from what you were expecting. More of a character development chapter, I guess. I hope nobody minds... I ended up cutting out a major part of the end to include in the next chapter to go with the reunion, because it was getting too long. Also, no humor! Hiko gets angry, and not for the reason you're all probably thinking either. Hope you like it!
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Only the Beginning
Written by lolo popoki
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Chapter 11: Promises
For most of the service, Kenshin had managed to remain calm in spite of his discomfort at being a spectator at his own funeral. But when the torch-bearer had stepped forward to light the pyre, the ghost had turned away, feeling sick. The thought of watching his body go up in flames was just too upsetting to even contemplate... Instead, he focused his gaze on his master's stricken expression.
Shishou...
Suddenly, Hiko clenched his eyes shut, swaying slightly as he desperately sought to control his breathing. The swords-master's face had gone pale, and beads of sweat formed on his brow.
Shishou?
Worriedly, the ghost moved closer to his master. After a moment of uncertainty, he reached out and gently touched the man's arm. Kenshin wished that he could say something comforting, but he just couldn't risk it... Not yet...not here.
I'm so sorry for putting you through this, but it'll be okay... Please just hold on for a little longer...
The swordsman's face relaxed. Kenshin pulled back, as Hiko gave a faint sigh and opened his eyes, outwardly composed once more. The spirit smiled sadly at the older man.
...I'll make it up to you, I promise
These last two days had been full of so many revelations, from the moment he first woke up as a ghost, to his observing his own funeral. But of them all, the biggest shock had come from finding out his master's true feelings for him... The vision of Hiko crying over his corpse was a scene the red-head didn't think he would ever forget.
For almost ten years, Kenshin had been certain that he was nothing but an annoyance to the older man. Hiko had rarely showed any emotion for him as a child except for irritation or amusement...seldom giving him a kind word, or even praise for a job well done. He had been constantly berated, treated frequently like some half-wit... Kenshin figured that maybe his master had initially taken him in out of pity...but he could never figure out why the man hadn't just dumped him off on one of the willing townsfolk. A nice couple had offered to adopt him during his first year, being unable to have children of their own. Hiko had refused. Kenshin had never understood why...until now.
This was a side of his master he had never been allowed to see before. The compassionate, caring man hidden underneath layers of pride, arrogance, sarcasm, and indifference. Like Kenshin himself had done so often as Battousai, Hiko hid his true nature behind an unfeeling mask.
But why?
Why had a man who obviously cared so much, pretend he never cared at all? What experiences had shaped Hiko Seijuro the thirteenth into the man he had become? Tomoe had mentioned that at some point in his past, Hiko had lost his purpose, his motivation... Had he been damaged in some way? Emotionally scarred? Or was the indomitable swords-master simply afraid of being seen as weak?
The ghost sighed heavily. He realized he had absolutely no idea of the man's life before he had ended up living with him. Perhaps, if all went well, he could convince his master to enlighten him someday...
He turned his attention back to the ceremony, now reaching its conclusion. The flames had finally died down, and the priest was now picking through the ashes with a set of chopsticks, meticulously placing the bone fragments into the funeral urn.
That urn... Kenshin had almost started crying when he saw Hiko unwrap it and hand it to the priest. Even after all these years, his master had remembered its significance... The spirit smiled wistfully; he had truly loved that piece. At the time, he had thought that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Never had he imagined that it would be put to use in such a manner. It was however... rather appropriate. He found himself deeply touched by the thoughtful gesture.
The red-head gazed fondly at his master.
You had me fooled for so long, Shishou... thinking you were such a heartless bastard. But now I know better. I won't allow you to fool me again!
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It was over. The fire had burned out; the body was gone... irrevocably consumed by the raging flames. There was nothing left now but ash and bone, and even those were quickly disappearing, as they were painstakingly gathered and consigned to the urn. After the priest finally finished collecting the remains, the urn was sealed and wrapped in a white cloth.
Gone... he's gone... I can't believe I'll never see him again...
Hiko watched dully as the man approached him, respectfully offering his condolences along with the covered vessel, and a wooden mortuary tablet inscribed with Kenshin's posthumous name. The swords-master reluctantly accepted them with a polite nod, his face carefully kept blank of all expression.
The gathered mourners gradually began to drift away, returning to their normal duties. None of them bothered to approach Hiko with their sympathy after a nervous glance at the cold look on his face. This suited him just fine, as he wasn't exactly in the mood to be sociable at the moment. In fact, all he really felt like doing now was getting out of this wretched city and going home.
Home? No... It's not even really a home anymore, just some place I happen to live...
Sighing, he turned and headed back toward the inn to pack. He hesitated as he saw Katsura was still standing in his previous position, staring blankly at the burned out pit.
"Katsura, are you all right?" he asked quietly, remembering that he wasn't the only one that had been affected by this ordeal.
The Ishin Shishi leader shook his head and smiled wearily. "I'll be fine Hiko-san," he replied, still staring at the pyre. Finally turning his attention to the swordsman, Katsura gave him a questioning look. "So, what are your plans now? Will you be leaving right away?"
Hiko nodded. "Aa. Just as soon as I finish packing."
Katsura sighed regretfully. "Are you sure I can't convince you to stay one more night? It might be better to travel in the morning..."
"No. I think it's best if I leave now."
"I understand." The commander smiled again. "It's been an honor meeting you, Hiko-san; perhaps you can come back sometime just to visit?"
Startled, Hiko blinked and then shrugged slightly. "Maybe someday."
"I'd like that very much..." Katsura frowned slightly as he took notice of a man standing at the gate. "Please excuse me for a moment, Hiko-san." Still frowning, he hurriedly approached the new arrival as Hiko resumed his walk back to the inn's entrance.
The swords-master climbed the stairs back up to the now unoccupied room, and placed the wrapped urn and the tablet on the floor next to the box of paintings. Pulling out a large folded cloth, he spread it out on the floor and positioned the box in the center. The tablet was set on top of that, then the urn. He gathered the ends of the cloth, deftly tying them together with a thin rope, and very gently slung his bundle over one shoulder. Hiko cast one last sorrowful glance around his deshi's empty room, and then tightly closed his eyes.
It was time to depart.
Stepping outside, Hiko saw that Katsura and the stranger had taken their conversation onto the engawa. The two seemed to be arguing about something. Not wishing to intrude, he started to head for the gate, but then paused as part of the conversation drew his attention.
"... know you were fond of the boy, but he was just a hitokiri. As far as I'm concerned, he merely spared us the trouble by doing it himself."
What...!
His pack slipped from suddenly numb fingers to lie forgotten on the ground. Taking a step closer to the arguing pair, he felt a spark of fury as Katsura began to sputter angrily at the other man.
"I've told you all before! There was no way in Hell I was going to allow you…"
"What exactly did you mean by that?" Hiko suddenly interrupted, his voice so cold that it actually made the commander shiver. Katsura turned to face the swords-master, a feeling of dread taking hold of him.
Hiko's attention was fixed on the newcomer, his eyes gleaming dangerously.
"H…Hiko-san…" Katsura started nervously, but then froze at the deadly glare aimed in his direction.
The swordsman turned his attention back to the other man, rage building up inside him. "Tell me…what did you mean by 'he spared us the trouble?'"
The stranger swallowed hard as he stared up at the enraged man. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded shakily, ignoring the anxious voice in the back of his mind telling him to shut up. "Our discussion is none of your concern!"
Hiko took a step forward, forcing the now alarmed man back a step. "If you're talking about what I think you are...then it damn well is my concern!" he snarled, his hand on the hilt of his sword. "For the last time... what did you mean by..."
"Hiko-san!" Katsura broke in desperately. "Please calm down!"
"Calm down?" the swords-master said in disbelief, his eyes flashing in anger. "You heard what he said about Kenshin, and you want me to calm down!"
The Ishin Shishi leader paled under the man's furious gaze, but managed to stand his ground. "Please allow me to explain..."
Hiko glared at him, but settled down somewhat. "Very well..." he growled, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Explain."
Katsura hesitated, wondering how to phrase his words. "In the past," he began cautiously, "we have had a few hitokiri that became so warped, that it became necessary to have them...dealt with."
"'Dealt with!'" the large man scoffed angrily. "Such a polite phrase...'executed' is more like it. You had them put down like some kind of mad dog..."
"It may sound cruel, but in a sense, that is exactly what they were. Men who had lost themselves in madness and blood... they could only find true pleasure in taking other's lives." Katsura shook his head sadly. "Men such as those, cannot be allowed to exist in this world..."
"But Kenshin wasn't anything like that," Hiko stated grimly. "You said so yourself. Why would he need to be killed?"
Katsura threw a distasteful glance at his frightened associate. "Unfortunately, there has been a growing concern among the other patriot officials, that Himura would eventually become something of a threat...that he would either end up mad like the others, or perhaps turn traitor and reveal some of our more underhanded dealings. They offered him a government position as a way to try and keep him under their control; but when he refused and asked to be released from service, they began toying with the idea of having him eliminated..."
"You damned politicians..."
The commander glared back at the swordsman and shook his head sharply. "I wasn't one of them! I refused to even consider it. I told them he was off limits, and that he would be free to live out the rest of his life as he saw fit."
Hiko turned his attention back to the other politician. "And yet, you still have the gall to come to my deshi's funeral and talk about how he did you all a favor by killing himself?" he spat in disgust. "You bloody bastard!"
"Y..your deshi...?" the man whispered faintly, feeling suddenly ill. "Oh dear gods..."
"Just a hitokiri, eh?" Hiko hissed bitterly. "What right do you have to say that? You didn't even know him! He was just an idealistic child who wanted only to protect people...it was you bastards who turned him into a hitokiri; you have no right to judge him!" He glared threateningly at the man. "Kenshin had a dream of a new era, where people were no longer forced to suffer under the Shogunate, and he believed in that dream with his whole heart and soul. He gave everything he had to your cause. He allowed himself to be used…to have his heart ripped to shreds and his soul shattered, trusting that if he sacrificed himself, you would make that dream a reality."
Ignoring Katsura's alarmed protest; Hiko suddenly grabbed the official by the front of his gi and hauled him up so that his snarling face was only inches from the other man's.
"Consider this," he growled, his eyes blazing in fury. "As terrifying as you all may have thought 'Battousai' had been, he was only an apprentice who never actually finished his training. I was his master. Compared to me, he was merely an amateur." He flung the scared man away and glared down at him. "I can be far more terrifying than Battousai ever was. And I swear, if I ever find out that you people betrayed the trust he had in you, if you lose yourselves to greed, that if this new government turns out as corrupt as the last, I will tear you all apart myself!"
Hiko whipped around, his white mantle billowing out behind him, and began to stalk toward the gate. He paused to grab his discarded bundle and threw a menacing glare over his shoulder, breaking the shocked silence to address the man once more:
"You might want to pass that along to the rest of your colleagues, because I will be watching you…"
The swordsman swept away, leaving the frightened Ishin Shishi politician behind to quake in terror, the merciless threat echoing in his mind.
For a stunned moment, Katsura stared wide-eyed at the retreating swordsman, before aiming a glare at his terror-stricken associate. "Damn it...you really made a mess of things this time, you idiot!"
He swiftly turned and began to hurry after the furious Hiten Mitsurugi master. "Hiko-san! Please wait!"
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Shaken, Kenshin trailed after his master after a troubled glance at his former commander. He had suspected that the Ishin Shishi might turn on him eventually; he understood that he could be perceived as a dangerous risk to them, after all. But to hear it actually said out loud was just... unsettling.
The red-haired ghost was grateful for Katsura's support on his behalf...but would it really have been enough? Would his commander have actually been able to keep the other officials from trying to kill him anyway? If Kenshin had lived, and gone off wandering like he had originally intended, would he have been constantly looking over his shoulder, wondering if there was an assassin on his trail? He most likely could handle any potential attempts on his life, but just the idea of it... The ghost shook his head disparagingly. It was certainly a sobering thought.
He watched as Katsura caught up with Hiko at the gate.
"Hiko-san... I'm sorry for..."
"I don't want to hear it," Hiko interrupted harshly. "Sayonara Katsura."
The commander drew in a startled breath, and then bowed his head sadly. "Sayonara, Hiko-san. I hope someday you will forgive us..." He turned away and left the swordsman alone with his anger.
Hiko shoved the gate open and stalked down the dark streets, the unseen ghost of his apprentice meekly following behind.
Wonderful... Now I have to deal with Shishou while he's in a bad mood...
Kenshin sighed.
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Well, how'd you like it? Sorry again if it wasn't what you were expecting... I tried so hard to get through this chapter despite my writer's block, so I'm actually quite pleased I managed to get this out at all. In case you're wondering about the chopsticks, apparently they really do that at traditional Japanese funerals. (The family members pick up the bones and put them into the urn with two persons grasping the same bone fragment together and putting it into the urn in unison. This custom explains why when two Japanese reach for the same piece of food at the same time with chopsticks, both will quickly pull back, as this is the only time two people hold the same thing with two sets of chopsticks.) Since Kenshin really doesn't have any family, and I couldn't see Hiko actually doing it, I had the priest do it alone.
Oh! And a huge thanks goes out to SiriusFan13 for an absolutely beautiful fanart she drew for me! You can find it here: www(dot)fanart-central(dot)net/pic-189026(dot)html. Please check it out!
Reviewer Responses
Terry-McElrath: Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! I'm glad you liked the funeral; I put a lot of thought into it, so I'm glad it seems to have worked out. Hope you liked this one too! Thank you for all your support while I was still suffering from my writer's block!
Night-Owl123: Sorry it took so long to update! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story!
Streetwise Girl: Yeah, Hiko's great at scaring people isn't he! And he proves it once again... :) Yes, Okita really did have TB. He died May 30, 1868 in a tuberculosis hospital in Edo. I brought it up for a good reason too... ;)
xZig-zagx: Thank you! I'm glad you think so! Aww... a snuggly kitty? I love cats! I have four, and one of them likes to sit on my lap while I'm typing. Of course when she does that, I have to type one-handed, because she likes to pin my arm down...
crimsonsun-rk: You're welcome! Yeah, 14 is really too young for that line of work. I'm glad you didn't think the cremation was too gruesome; you should have seen it before I cut it though... I had been in a really morbid frame of mind I guess :)
a.k.a. Arashi: Thanks again for offering to help me out with my writer's block! I was going to send you this chapter for your opinion, but I decided to post it anyway when you didn't respond... Anyway, yeah I knew about how they have more services afterwards, but I'm just going to skip all that, because it would just make everything so much more complicated... It would be pretty amusing though. Heh... I'm planning something interesting for that janken picture! Read Streetwise Girl's response, and maybe you can figure out what I'm intending to do ;)
Peacebunnie: What an enthusiastic reaction! Yeah, good thing nobody was in the room... that would have been a bit embarrassing. I've done that myself a couple times... I'm glad you really liked the chapter!
BakaBokken: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the humor! And I'm glad you like my little one-shot too! Thanks again for letting me know about the C2 thing, and for letting me join KQEC. I wonder if they'll ever do something to fix all their little "quirks"?
moeru himura: Thank you! So you liked who the culprits turned out to be? I'm so glad! I was hoping people might get a kick out of those two being behind the whole thing.
Ayumi Ikari: I'm sorry I made you cry! There shouldn't be too many more sad parts in the rest of the story... at least I don't think so anyway. I'm glad you liked Tsuji and Yuasa's roles; they really are pretty nice guys.
Sailor-Earth13: Glad you liked it! Sorry it took so long to post this one...
Sakura Kamitsu: I'm glad you're still enjoying my fic! Thank you!
SiriusFan13: Sorry that the reunion wasn't in this chapter... Next one for certain though; I've already got part of it written out from when I cut it out of this chapter. And sorry too for that disturbing mental image of the Ghost reference... ;) Heh... maybe you could draw that one out too as a doujinshi... just kidding! Thanks again for your wonderful picture; that was just so beautiful... (bursts into tears)
Rubber Shuriken: That is a pretty disturbing visual... I definitely wouldn't want to see that animated... Uh... yeah, there is a chance he might be brought back... I don't know if it's 50 sure or not...
omasuoniwabanshi: Thank you! I'm glad you approved of the artist's identity! Yep, no hentai! And thanks again for the recipe... I'll try that out as soon as I get some free time.
Kyoryu: I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! And that you appreciated the humor before things got depressing again.
Sweat Drop: Thanks for pointing that out! I can't believe I forgot to add "exasperation" to the list; that was one of the things I was using it for... Anyway, I went back and added it to the glossary list. Thanks again!
skenshingumi: I am really glad you liked the touch of humor I used to lighten the mood for the funeral scene. And that you didn't think the funeral was too sappy or anything. I really tried hard to find a good balance to get my point across without coming off as mawkish. Things might get a bit sentimental in the next chapter at first, as Hiko has something of a flashback... just a warning if you don't like it.
Shaolin 10: I'm really glad you liked my story so far! But... what happened to all your own stories? They're all gone! T-T
Lucrecia LeVrai: No, I've never seen a doujinshi with that particular pairing... Kenshin and Shishio? Wow... that just boggles the mind... I'm so glad you really liked the chapter! I went back and changed that 'yokatta'; you were definitely right about it being unnecessary. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, and for postponing the reunion... it will be in the next chapter though.
A lilmatchgirl: Glad you liked the Tsuji/Yuasa part! Yeah... poor Kenshin...
WolfDaughter: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked my story even though you cried through most of it... the mood should become somewhat more humorous after the reunion. Hope you found a nice comedy to cheer you up! There are a lot of really good ones out there.
princess-oro: Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, I loved that episode; Hiko was so mean...not letting his baka deshi give him a hug... :)
Swirly: Glad you still like the story! I'm not sure how long it's going to be actually... When I first started thinking about writing this story, I intended to end it sometime after the reunion, but now, I think it might go on for a while...
Freda Potter: Don't worry! I'll keep my promise:) Mischievous Kenshin... hehe!
Unseen Watcher: Oh you're back! Thanks for reviewing again! I thought maybe you decided you didn't like it anymore. I'm glad you didn't mind me using your name for my chapter title :) and sorry for making you cry... apparently I've made a lot of people cry for the duration of this fic! Heh...there was a bit of violence in this chapter, but probably not how you were expecting...
Crystal Snowflakes: I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Sorry it took me a little while to update it...