The Shift in Perspective
The holodisplay faded as Shepard ended yet another unproductive conference with the Citadel council. They were willing to back her mission to stop Saren, but reluctant to accept any evidence of the true threat: the Reapers.
Shepard crossed her arms and rubbed her furrowed brow.
"This is gonna be a long trip." She said aloud to herself with a heavy sigh. The stress had started piling up fast, and she knew that if she didn't find an outlet soon, things were going to get messy. She could only imagine that she wasn't the only one aboard the Normandy who was feeling the pressure. If she wanted to keep morale up she would have to give the crew a way to blow off steam.
Straightening her posture and shaking any sign of any tension, Shepard stepped out of the comm. room and onto the bridge. If anyone would have any ideas on how the crew could have fun, it would be Joker. She just hoped he would present some actual possibilities over the outrageous input he often had.
"Joker," she started as she approached the cockpit, "I need some help with something."
"Oh, hey Commander." The lighthearted pilot turned his chair to face Shepard. "What's up?"
"I know things are getting stressful around here, and I was thinking about giving the crew something fun to do during down time. Do you have any ideas?"
"Finally! I've been waiting for you to ask." Joker threw his arms in the air. "How about-"
"No gambling." Shepard interrupted. She had heard him talk about it enough to know he would suggest it.
"Oh, come on!" he shouted in disappointed. "You gotta admit, if someone owed you money, it would be great incentive to keep them alive on the battlefield."
Though she was mildly amused, the commander looked at him disapprovingly. "I don't want people owing each other money."
"Really, Commander? That's about as lame as a broken leg." He paused. "And I would know!"
"It defeats the purpose. I want to relieve stress, not cause unnecessary conflict." Shepard crossed her arms signaling that the decision was made.
"Okay, okay…" Joker hung his head in defeat. "Well, what do you do for fun? Practice your imposing glares or something?"
"Or something." She rolled her eyes. "What about you?"
"Oh, you know, make snide remarks." Joker shrugged. "But I can do that on the job, so I'm set. Some of these marines have energy to burn."
"Yeah, they do…" Shepard thought about that for a moment. Maybe giving the crew something active to do would work. It might even spice up their training regimes. "I think I figured it out. Thanks Joker."
"Uh, sure." The pilot looked confused. "Good luck with that? Whatever it is." He spun his chair back towards the helm and the commander took longs strides to the stairs. If she was going to make this idea work, she would need some help.
Shepard knew that Kaidan would have the time to assist her, though she wasn't looking forward to the interaction. After Ashley had brought Kaidan's interest in the commander to her attention, Shepard had been forced to have a chat with the Lieutenant. Though he was obviously disappointed, he had taken the news fairly well. For the next two days, Shepard had been avoiding any non-professional conversations with Kaidan in an attempt to give him the space she figured he would need. Maybe it was time to break the silence and pick up their friendship again. After all, if they were going to be fighting side by side, she needed to know they could still get along.
Kaidan was at his normal post, keeping an eye on various monitors across from the crew lockers. As he caught sight of the commander walked toward him, he looked perplexed.
"Kaidan!" Shepard greeted him, trying to sound as friendly, yet plutonic, as possible.
"Hello, Commander." Kaidan nodded. "What can I do for you?"
"Are you busy?" the commander smiled softly. She wanted to convey that she didn't have anything against Kaidan, but at the same time she wanted to avoid sending mixed signals. She was afraid that acting too excited to see him would confuse him even more.
"Not really. Things are a bit boring right now." His bewildered expression faded, and he let himself relax into the exchange.
"Great." Shepard's smile cocked to the side playfully. "I need your help with something below deck."
Relieved that the Lieutenant had accepted her request, Shepard explained her plan to him. He even seemed genuinely excited about the project, and once they began the setup, his hands were eager for the work. It didn't take long to finish with his help, especially with his biotic abilities, and in a matter of minutes they had transformed the deck.
"This looks great. Everyone will love it." Kaidan smiled as he examined their work. With many of the crates pushed to the edges of the room there was quite a lot of space. With a few spare pipes as poles, and scrap metal as backboards, their makeshift basketball goals didn't look half bad.
"It's nice to know Jenkins' basketball will get put to good use." Shepard said, thinking back on Eden Prime briefly.
"Fancy a game, Commander?" Kaidan bounced the ball to Shepard.
"Game on, Alenko." She smiled widely.
"Sweet court!" a voice came from behind them. The two turned to see Ashley standing in front of the elevator. "Mind if I join?"
"What happened in here?" Garrus entered the room behind her, eyes wide with shock.
"It's a basketball court. Wanna play with us?" Kaidan invited the confused turian.
"Oo, battle of the sexes." Ashley smiled, draping an arm around Shepard's shoulders.
"I, uh, don't know how to play." Garrus said shyly. Shepard wasn't sure if the turian was blushing, or if she was just imagining it.
"Don't worry," Kaidan reassured him, "If you're as good at shooting a ball as you are shooting a rifle, we've got this in the bag."
It didn't take long for word to spread above deck, and soon all of the crew was taking turns to come watch the game. All but Wrex, who claimed the sport wasn't violent enough to hold his interest. Tali, however, was getting really into the game, though it wasn't clear which team she was cheering for. With every shot blocked and every pass intercepted, she would scream words that Shepard could only assume were profanities in the quarian's native tongue. The crowd cycled out regularly as members of the crew returned to essential tasks, keeping the whole ship abuzz with talk on the current score. Shepard couldn't recall the last time she had this much fun while on active duty, and was pleased to see the other players sharing in the entertainment. Garrus had caught on to the rules quickly and was trash talking like a pro. Ashley had made a good teammate with her competitive nature, and Shepard was relieved to see Kaidan having a good time. After a while, they all decided to take a break to catch their breath.
"Hey Shepard," Ashley gave the commander a mild back hand slap to the shoulder, "Your other admirer's here."
Shepard followed Ashley's gaze to the back of the room where Liara had just stepped off the elevator. The human was reminded of the comment Ashley had made a few days ago.
"Oh." She thought, giving herself a mental face palm. "Well that was obvious."
An excitement arose inside Shepard upon seeing the timid scientist that she couldn't quite explain. It was as if everything faded away until there was nothing but her and Liara, like nothing else could possibly matter as much as they did in that moment. But why did she feel this way? What was it about the asari that attracted so much of the commander's attention? Shepard shook the strange feelings for now; certain that she would be better equipped to translate them later.
"Give Liara a break, Ash. She's sweet." Shepard replied after her bumbling internal moment.
"Sweet, sure. Cute even, if you're into that sort of thing." Ashley shrugged as if she didn't care, but the aggravated tone in her voice was poorly concealed. It was a good sign; perhaps she hadn't noticed Shepard zoning out.
"You mean inter-species relations?" Shepard joked. The gunnery chief, obviously not amused, simply replied with a very pointed "you know what I mean" look.
"So it's true then?" Kaidan chimed in, who had more than likely been eavesdropping the whole time. "Liara has a thing for the commander?"
Had this been common knowledge to everyone but Shepard? How could she have missed this?
"You humans are so unobservant. With such romantic ignorance, it's a wonder you've made it this far." Garrus commented, though not truly interested in the topic. Shepard returned her gaze to Ashley, who looked more confused than offended by Garrus' remark.
"You're just jealous I get all the attention." Shepard teased. Ashley's eyes widened.
"Oh, she can ogle you all she wants. I just wish she weren't so blatant about it. She sneaks glances at you any chance she gets."
"Well, you can't blame her. I saved her life, and I'm one of very few people who welcomes her company." The commander began defending.
"Not to mention the prothean message you got from the beacon." Kaidan added.
"Yeah, she sure gets hot and bothered over old crap." Ashley snapped. Everyone knew her stance on aliens, but Ashley had been friendly with Garrus and Tali. She even tolerated Wrex's presence, though more for her own safety than anything. Shepard was offended hearing her talk about Liara that way. Liara was so sweet and innocent; it seemed like an injustice to describe her with such crude words. But right as Shepard opened her mouth to defend Liara, Garrus beat her to the punch.
"Doctor T'Soni is a very nice, very talented person. You may think she's strange, but speaking from an outsider's perspective, you're probably just as strange to her." Garrus' seemed genuinely disturbed by Ashley's comment, but he regained his composure in a matter of seconds and added "I mean that in the best way possible, of course."
"Well said." Shepard patted the turian on the back. She was impressed. "I need water." And with that she walked away from the group and towards the benches where she had set her water bottle. The very same bench, incidentally, where Liara had sat down with a data pad in her hands.
"She's only going to make it worse..." Shepard overheard Ashley say, starting another uncomfortable discussion. "If I didn't know better, I'd say…" the chief's voice trailed as Shepard stepped further away from her and closer to the asari in question.
"So, the great Liara T'Soni finally graces us with her presence." Shepard smiled as she neared the bench.
"Commander!" Liara looked up from the data pad. Shepard couldn't quite figure out if the asari's tone conveyed excitement or nervousness, but given the circumstances she supposed it could have been both. "I am sorry. I do not know what you mean."
"You step out of your room to watch a game?" Shepard replied, nodding towards the court.
"I… I do not really understand it." Liara head dropped a bit, though she kept her eyes on the commander. The look reminded Shepard of a lost puppy, only adding to Liara's cuteness factor.
"Come on, you can't tell me asari don't have sports."
"Naturally. Evidence shows that every species-" Liara began to go of on one of her archaeological tangents, but cut herself off realizing that the commander probably wasn't interested.
"You'll have to teach me one sometime." Shepard said lively. Many of their talks had revolved around the differences in their races, and Shepard found the asari people to be very interesting.
"I am afraid I do not understand those either." Liara blushed. So far this conversation wasn't showing her in the best of light.
"Of course you don't." Shepard chuckled as she reached for her bottle of water. Liara watched as she guzzled half of it quickly and wondered what her comment had been implying. Weighing the risk of looking like an idiot, as the asari often felt when interacting with humans, Liara opted for silence rather than asking.
"Well," Shepard took in a gulp of air after her long drink, "I hope you at least enjoy watching."
Liara nodded anxiously. "Who is winning?"
"Kaidan and Garrus are up by two, but not for long." Shepard flashed a mischievous smile and winked. Liara had encountered the human mannerism before, but had to decipher it's meaning through context. Still, seeing the commander do it made her stomach feel as if it were being tickled on the inside. She had also heard a human phrase to describe it: something about butterflies. She couldn't remember exactly how it went, but she didn't care. Shepard was talking to her, and enjoying herself, and that was all that mattered.
"I hope you win." Liara tried her best to sound supportive, but with the distracting fluttering in her stomach, she wasn't sure if she had succeeded.
"Now that you're here, I can't lose." Shepard said confidently. "You can be my good luck charm." Was she starting to flirt with Liara? As if her feelings for her weren't confusing enough. Still, it felt too good to coax the purple glow of Liara's blushing face.
"Half time show is over!" Ashley shouted. There was still an edge to her voice.
Shepard returned to the game, but was finding it difficult to focus. With everything that had been said, she now had a lot on her mind. And all this had started in an effort to clear her head…
The game was close; Garrus and Kaidan had worked out a good strategy, utilizing Kaidan's defensive skills and Garrus's throwing arm. Ashley, who had become extremely agitated, played much more aggressively than she had in the first half. Though in many cases her temper could be disruptive, this time it worked to her advantage. Her headstrong attitude had not only pulled her and Shepard back on top, but also scored the winning point.
"Well, that was fun." Garrus admitted as he, Shepard, and Kaidan watched Ashley do a victory dance.
"She's quite… Spirited." Kaidan stared, making the other two uncomfortable.
Shepard made an official announcement that the crew was welcome to come and use the court as long as important tasks were taken care of, though she was certain the message made more impact than the actual words, and sent everyone back to their posts. As the room cleared, Shepard noticed Liara still sitting on her bench, realizing that she didn't have a post to go back to. Other than knowing a lot about the protheans, Liara didn't have a job aboard the Normandy. Soon enough the two were alone.
"Shepard, I have a request." Liara started. Usually she would have been more timid, but she had gone over it her head several times.
"Sure. What's on your mind?" Shepard sat down next to Liara, holding the basketball in her lap.
"I know it will not be long before we catch up with Benezia. I would like to join you when you face her. Perhaps my presence can sway her."
"Perhaps…" Shepard repeated the asari's choice of word. She was wary about taking Liara out into a potentially dangerous environment. "If I add you to the squad, you have to be able to handle yourself. What skills can you bring to the table?"
Liara had heard this phrase before as well. Without answering, Liara stood and motioned to the ball in Shepard's lap. The commander handed it over hesitantly, wondering what it had to do with anything. Liara bounced the ball a few times, mimicking the dribbling she had seen the others do. Turning to face one of the goals, she released the ball from between her hands. Ordinarily, the laws of physics would have forced the ball to drop to the ground, but instead it floated, surround by a blue glow. Then, motioning her hand towards the hoop, Liara directed the ball through the air. With the grace with which it traveled, Shepard knew that it took a great deal of control. She watched as it dropped through the hoop and bounce its way back to Liara.
"So… biotics, then?" Shepard stated as if Liara's demonstration meant nothing.
"Well, yes." Liara replied, her cheeks beginning to blush. Had her presentation failed to make that clear?
"Kaidan has biotics. So does Wrex." Shepard acted unimpressed. If Liara truly wanted to join her on missions, she needed to know she meant it. The expression on Liara's face changed from slight embarrassment to frustration. Shepard had never seen this look on Liara before, but it was mildly threatening. If the asari had the mind to, she could bioticly overcome the commander easily.
"With all due respect, Commander, I have greater power and control than Lieutenant Alenko and Wrex combined." Liara was obviously holding back her frustration to remain respectful. Shepard wasn't looking for her to get angry, but she wanted to see if Liara would fight for a position in the squad, and this was more insistent than she had ever seen the asari before.
"They also commit to a regular fitness routine. Are you willing to do that?" Shepard stood, putting herself on a level field with the determined asari.
"I am." Liara nodded confidently at first, but then her assurance faded and her eyes dropped to the floor. "I… I want to be of use to you, Commander."
There had been plenty of talk aboard the ship about Liara and her relevance among the human crew. This had apparently reached Liara and caused her to question it herself. She had been outnumbered the moment she stepped onto the Normandy; anyone would be worn down after that.
"Hey…" Shepard placed a hand on Liara's shoulder, "You are useful. But if you feel like this is something you need to do," Shepard moved her hand from her shoulder and under the asari's chin, gently raising her lowered face so their eyes met, "Then I'll make it happen."
If it hadn't been for the basketball in Liara's hands, Shepard knew that this moment would have brought them physically closer than they already were, and this had already crossed the line of what Shepard deemed appropriate. But somehow she couldn't stop herself, and she wondered what might have been different had Liara not held the ball between them. There was a craving inside of Shepard, almost an instinct that begged her to lean in closer. Her stare bounced back and forth from Liara's crystal eyes to her indigo lips. The asari stared back with a strange understanding sort of confusion, as if she could read the commander's mind but could not comprehend what she saw.
Taking a step back, Shepard recoiled, removing her hand from Liara's face and dropping her gaze to the floor. Clearing her throat and wiping the thoughts from her mind, she lifted her eyes back to Liara's, ashamed of the scenario that played through her imagination, even more so by the desire to make it a reality.
"I should go. Stuff to do and all." Shepard admitted, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. The confusion on Liara's face quickly turned to disappointment; and yet in her eyes remained the eagerness to grasp what had just occurred. It was as if the archaeologist in her had discovered a long kept secret hidden in the dark, but struggled to interpret its meaning or what impact it would have on the future. As desperate as Shepard had been to kiss her, Liara's need to understand the human's actions were equally as powerful.
"I'll find someone to help you start your training as soon as possible." Shepard continued with a casual grin.
"Oh, thank you." Liara nodded, grateful for the commander's cooperation, but let down by her sudden retreat.
"No problem." Shepard had maintained her cheerful front long enough to bid the asari farewell for the day. The events of the day replayed in her mind, along with every conversation she had had with Liara. Like pieces of a puzzle each memory came together, revealing a vital part of the whole picture. As much as she had denied, as much as she had wanted to fight it, Shepard couldn't refuse the indisputable truth: She was falling for Liara.
And she knew Liara was falling for her as well.