I send my warmest thanks to everyone who read or reviewed my last chapter! Hehehehe I got the stupidest knock knock joke for you. Okay, okay.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne de baftub I'm dwowning.

Hehehe wasn't that so stupid? Hehehe I'm still giggling from it…

oOo

I bounced up and down nervously on the balls of my feet, waiting impatiently outside her room. As soon as I told the first doctor I came to what had happened, 20 of them came flooding out of nowhere and lock me out of Katniss' room. They have been in there for two hours, while I stood outside practically dying from anxiety.

Another half an hour had to pass before the door opened and the doctor who gave us the test results walked out. I didn't even get to say anything before he opened his mouth. "Don't worry, son. Kantiss'll be just fine."

A wave of relief washed over me and I leaned heavily against the wall, closing my eyes. She was okay. She was going to make it.

His hand clamped onto my shoulder, not unfriendly. "That was quite a scare she gave us all, but it wasn't anything major. She'll be fine."

"When can I see her?" My throat was all dry from the anxiety.

"Actually," The doctor raised his eyebrows comically and glanced at the door behind him. "I think it would be okay now, if you want."

"Yes!" Maybe I said that a little too quickly. "I mean—that would be great."

He laughed and reopened the door. "Katniss is still asleep from the drugs, but that should wear off soon."

I followed him inside. To my relief, they had the decency to finally put some chairs n the room next to the bed, so I went and sat on one of those.

Katniss was sleeping peacefully, her black hair fanning out around her head. The slow rise and fall of her chest reassured me that she was, indeed, just sleeping and not something else.

I took Katniss' hand gently in mine, wrapping my fingers around hers. They seemed so cold...

"Come and get me if you need anything else." The nice doctor was about to step back out the door when I stopped him.

"There actually is something I would like to ask you. About the brain operation." I let go of Katniss' hand and stood back up.

The physician looked pleasantly interested. "Ask away."

"Well… Since Katniss had that attack thing with the hallucinations, I have been giving more thought about getting the operation done. But before I tell that to Katniss, I want to know what we're signing up for. Can you tell me about the basic procedure during and after?"

He looked thoughtful and pulled up a chair. "Well the risk for having a memory lapse is extremely uncommon, but I am not sure how much that is saying, seeing as how the doctors here in Thirteen have only done the procedure three times. Four if you count the...Ahem…autopsy we did a few years back. But anyways," The doctor shook his head. "Well, once we are done with the procedure, Katniss would be allowed to go back to her room immediately if preferred, but she has to have someone at her side at all times. Her psychological health will be very unstable. The side effects would include occasional blurred vision, difficulty speaking, weakness of the limbs, and sometimes fainting. That is why you cannot leave her side. If she decides she wants up out of bed for a drink of water she could pass out and hit her head. She can't be alone for one minute."

There seemed to be a lot of risks that came with the operation. I bit my lip, weighing the consequences on each side.

"You don't have to decide right now, Peeta." The doctor stood up. "We have plenty of time, but judging by what happened today, the sooner the better."

Well, that made me feel no pressure at all, thanks. I stood up and shook the doctors' hand. "Thank you. I will have a talk with Katniss when she wakes up, doctor."

"That would be excellent." He shook my hand back. "Remember; just push that little red button on the side of the bed if anything else happens." And the doctor left the room.

I looked back down at Katniss, who was still sleeping soundly. She scared me so much; I thought I lost her. There were several times in the past year or so when I thought she had left me. And I couldn't even count the times she had just scared the crap out of me, not including near-death-experiences. But every time we have managed to pull through I hadn't realized how lucky I was. And every time I felt that, the feeling got stronger and stronger until when Gale died, and Katniss was on the brink of a near-fatal depression, I was pretty sure it wouldn't be possible to live without her. Before that I might have managed to stay alive, in some type of half-dead state, but now I knew if she died, I would go with her. The thought didn't comfort me much.

I sat there for an hour next to Katniss, holding her hand. I watched the flutter of her eyes behind her eyelids and hoped that the dreams she was having were good. Maybe even about me.

It was about 2:35 when Katniss stirred, and I watched as she slowly began to revive consciousness. Katniss mumbled something unintelligible and her eyes peeled open. At first her irises just wheeled around, not fixing on one specific thing, but after a while she shook her head and looked at me.

"Hey." I stroked the back of Katniss' hand with my thumb, acting casual. Not like she almost died a few hours ago, no. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I hallucinated your violent death and got knocked over the head with a metal pole and stuck with a syringe full of kool-aide." She blinked tiredly. "But other than that, just peachy."

Laughing, I put her hand to my cheek. "You really freaked all of us out there, Katniss."

"I'm sorry." She looked guilty for a second, but then her face went back to normal. "You seem to be taking it better than I would have imagined."

"I was going to wait until you were a little more awake before I exploded."

Katniss' eyebrows twitched upwards. "And what does exploding entitle?"

"The usual." I shrugged. "Telling you to never, ever do that to me again, how worried sick I was, holding you tight and try not to cry like a baby. Things like that."

For a few seconds Katniss just sat there, staring at me with an unfathomable look in her gray eyes. Then she took her hand back from mine and used it to try and scoot over. "Well, come on." And she patted the area next to her on the bed.

I smiled softly and crawled into bed next to her and put my arms around her shoulders, just like the good old times. 'Good old times' meaning yesterday.

"Peeta, I need to talk to you." Katniss was using her serious voice, which was never good, especially after a near-death experience.

"What?" Kissing her forehead normally made these types of situations less tense, but this time she just looked sad.

"Peeta, I'm serious. I want to go through with the operation." Katniss looked me straight in the eyes.

"I—" I really didn't feel like talking about it right now, but if it was absolutely necessary… "I know you feel that way."

"And I know you don't. Because of what might happen."

"Do you even know what would happen if your memory lapsed while the surgery? Have you even thought about the consequences?"

Katniss' voice only came out in a whisper. "Yes."

"Then you realize what would happen?"

"I have to take that chance, Peeta!" She looked half-frightened. "You didn't see what I did."

"Katniss, I am not denying what you have seen was horrible, I am not saying that having this wrong with you isn't awful and I am so sorry! I hate seeing you like this, this hurt and afraid all the time. I hate every part of it, Katniss, but at least I am there to help you through it in every way possible." I didn't want to let how upset I was show through, but there I was, with wetness in my eyes.

It must have been a pretty emotional time for both of us, because Katniss looked like she was going to cry, too. "I know, Peeta, I know you are and thank you so much. And I know the worst thing that could happen. I don't want that to happen either, Peeta. You have been so important, so special to me. I don't want to start over. But I can't spend the rest of my life in this mental incapacitation, even if it is with you." She looked slightly apologetic.

I was about to defend my side, when I stopped myself. As much as I hated to admit it, Katniss' point was somewhat better than mine. Starting her life over again without me, and spending the rest of it with a completely different person on a completely different path, but still healthy as a horse, seemed better than spending the rest of her life in a negative mental state with me. She would never be happy. Only nightmares and hallucinations would corrupt her everyday life. But if it got fixed and she went her own way, there was a chance she could be happy. Katniss would get another chance.

I couldn't be so selfish, favoring the option where I am the only one being happy. And even then, I wouldn't really be happy seeing her like that all the time.

"It's okay." Katniss put her hand on my arm. "You don't have to say anything to that if you don't want. Just…understand it from my point of view."

"But, Katniss, I do understand it. And—and…" I took a shaky breath, not meaning for it to be so…weak. "I'm sorry that I have been so selfish lately. If you want to have the procedure done, go ahead and have it done."

"Peeta…" Katniss seemed to have registered the pain on my face. "Don't agree with this for me."

"The best thing for me right now is for you to be happy, no matter the cost." I pressed my cheek to the top of her head. "It is for me as much as for you."

A tear fell unevenly from each of Katniss' gray eyes. "So… Is this you giving me your permission? I can have the surgery done?"

"Like you ever needed my permission to do anything." I gave a pathetic chuckle. "But, yes. I am."

Katniss reached over and put her arms around my waist. "Then there is a slight possibility this would be our last day together. Slight, but nonetheless there."

"I try not to think about the possibilities."

"But if this really was our last day, shouldn't we do something different? Something that we didn't do every day together?"

I wasn't quite getting what Katniss was saying. "What don't we do every day?"

"You're so slow, Peeta." Katniss grinned. "But never mind. It was a stupid idea anyways."

"What? Tell me, Katniss!" I was smiling, too.

"No, no…" She shifted her position in my arms. "It doesn't matter."

"You will tell me one of these days, you know." I tucked the sheets securely under Katniss' chin.

Sighing, she snuggled up against me. "Sure, sure…"

oOo

Sorry about the horrible ending. It took me forever to think of how to end it, nevertheless begin it. :DD hoped you liked this chapter!