"What...what on earth does this mean?" Alan whispered, wide-eyed and disbelieving. But he wasn't looking at Eric.
He was looking at a small black book, with pages and pages full of small black tally marks, each one representing a small black stain on Eric's conscience. All Eric could do was look helpless as he watched Alan put the pieces together and raise a shaking hand to cover his open mouth, tears appearing in the brunette's frozen eyes.
"You're actually doing it. The thousand souls. ...How could you, Eric? Why?" There wasn't a moment when Alan's voice grew above a murmur. He was never one to shout. And suddenly, to keep you safe didn't seem like a big enough reason. For Alan would never have wanted this. Eric just wanted Alan.
If he was honest, Eric was doing this for himself. And fittingly enough, the universe had decided to take revenge on him for his sins by making Alan see what he'd corrupted their very existences for.
He didn't hear the door shutting behind him, but simply sank onto the bed, knowing that he'd destroyed the thing he'd wanted so badly to save.