I am so sorry for the long wait for everyone! I was in China, travelling and visting family, most of time did not have internet connection and didn't have the environment for writing. Now I am back with some more knowledge and touch for the ancient China. Though the storyline seems a little unclear to me now since I have been away for so long, but please still look forward to it as I promise I will do my best. Thank you for all the readers out there waiting!
bak choy: a very common green vegetable in the Chinese meals, part of the cabbage family,
The eyelashes are wavering just slightly under the shot of sunlight from the window. Slowly the eyelid unfolded, revealing the azure eyes underneath.
Naruto grasped for air as he awoke in a unfamiliar room. He is lying on a soft, warm bed, and another person was in the room, who seemed just as surprised as he is.
"Whoa, you woke up." An rather laid-back sounding voice.
"Where am I...?"
Naruto remember the face, that one day he was with Neji and Hinata at the brothel. Shikamaru Nara, he recalled the name. Another royalty. His body felt burning hot and he was dizzy, the air he breathed in entered an vast empty space in his stomach. He tried to sit up, but an immerse pain all the way from his back down his hips and to his knees stopped him. He felt a drop of blood sliding from that place down his leg. Shikamaru ran over to him quickly, spilling sprinkles water from the large bowl he was holding.
"Don't try to move around yet!" Shikamaru's voice was rather worried and a little impatient. "You're not well enough to do that. Agh, if I knew you were going to wake up today I would've bought some food..."
"Wake up... Today..?" He was lost as a child, his voice a dry crack. "How long have I been sleeping? Where am I...?"
"For about three days now." Shikamaru said. "You're in one of the grand palace's houses. I'm Shikamaru, by the way." He rose his hand, just to signal that. Naruto's blue eyes were still misty and as if he was in another world. He shut his eyes because he felt so sleepy and tired, and then.
Darkness.
Darkness. When he couldn't see anything. When that man, that man.
"Ah... ah..."
Memories flooding in his head. Pain. Those sticky warm stuff. Inside him.
"Ah...ahh..."
His body dirty. Violated. Humiliated. Pride crushed to oblivion. Disgusting. Dark. That man's hands, the texture of it so well-remembered, but not a single glance of his face.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH-"
A scream, a shriek, or more like a howl from a wounded animal. His body is shaking. He felt like throwing up, but nothing was in his stomach.
"Oi! Calm down-" Shikamaru was quickly alarmed by this, smashing the bowl of water down on the table and running over to Naruto.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH-"
He hates himself.
So ugly. So dirty. So lowly. So disgusting. He wants to rub his skin off, everywhere that man had touched him, everywhere-
"Naruto! Calm down!"
He doesn't know. He sees nothing, hears nothing. All this, all this sound, all this emotion pouring out of him. He doesn't know what to stop, and how to.
Don't look at me.
Don't touch me.
"Naruto! You have gotta be quiet! If a guard hears you-"
He can't stop. He can't. Too much. Too much.
Don't you see? His body is tainted, and that along with his heart and soul, to eternity.
Shikamaru bit his lips and pulled a hand over Naruto's mouth. Naruto immediately remembered that cloth that in his mouth that night.
"Ah shit-!"
Shikamaru felt sharp-edged teeth dug in deep into his hands, pain running through his veins. Yet he cannot afford to move his hands. No one must find this place, that part was ordered clearly. His hand was shaking but he did not let go, only muffled sound came from Naruto's mouth. The boy won't stop.
"Geh-" Another sound of pain escaping Shikamaru's lips. His hand might be bleeding, but he can't even know for sure.
After some moments or so, when that point came around that Naruto dug in so deep Shikamaru thought his bones will shatter, the blond boy finally let loose, a string of saliva lingering on his lips.
He was no longer screaming, yet Shikamaru didn't know if that was much better. The blue eyes are two empty holes, only fear and shadowed. Naruto's whole body was shaking violently, teeth clattering, like a startled animal. Shikamaru reached his unbitten hand near him. Almost self-instinctly Naruto winced and pushed it off, eyes now tear filled, staring up to Shikamaru.
"Na-Naruto..." Shikamaru stuttered, not quite knowing what to do with this.
Naruto's lips were dry, his words smothered to a jumble. It took Shikamaru a few tries to understand what he was saying.
"Don't look at me."
"Don't touch me."
And lastly was clear sentence,
"Leave me. Leave me alone!"
That part of the emotion so clearly showed, wanting for the grant of solitude. At that there was really no other opinions, but Shikamaru didn't feel it was safe to leave him there unwatched. He stood his ground, but as he watched Naruto struggled to fight back his tears in front of him, hiding his face in his arms, Shikamaru took a deep breath and left the room. Door shut, ear pressed against the wood, trying to catch any sound.
He didn't hear the last sentence as he shut the door behind him.
"Please, please, please." Shook up voice, croaked and soaked with tears. "Don't hate me."
Because I am now lowly and filthy.
- - - - - - - - Time passage - - - - - - - -
It took almost a half hour when Shikamaru finally hear the sobbing die down to silence. His legs was a little sore from squatting for so long, and his feet were going numb. He kicked and around and pressed his ear against the door a little harder, trying to catch even the slightest sound. Unfortunately that force was too great, and the door slammed open his face flat almost hitting the ground.
"Ah damn-" He got up, feeling rather lacking of self-confidence at the moment. He heard a chuckle from Naruto and returned the boy's gaze, and saw that Naruto was trying to hold in his laugh even with his eyes puffy red. There was a silent moment where they just stared at each other, gazes frozen, Shikamaru's knees and hands on the floor. Seems like a second later, Naruto broke out laughing.
"Y-you-" Naruto was holding his stomach. "Sh-should really see your face- Hahahaha!" His laugh didn't seem to fade at all.
"Ugh." Shikamaru just sat his butt on the ground, sighing and scratching his hair a little. "Glad to know you're feeling better." He murmured under his breath, a little glad this happened to ease up what could have been an very awkward situation. Naruto was still laughing like there was no tomorrow, in which point Shikamaru just stood up and pat off the dust and sat down on the chair by the bed.
"Ah, that was a good one." Naruto wiped a tear of laugher from his eye, sniffing his nose just a little. Shikamaru messed with the white cloth, stretching out the shape and wiping the blood on his hand. Naruto's gaze came upon the bite marks he had made. He lowered his eyes and his voice was dead quiet.
"I'm so sorry." His head down, messy blonde hair covering his expression.
"No big deal." Shikamaru said nonchalantly. "Better than what you've got, that is."
Naruto stared at his bandaged hands, hinting a show of red under the white fabric.
"You treated them, didn't you?" Naruto asked. Shikamaru nodded, rather humble. "Thank you." His voice fades into a whisper, almost like he was going to cry again.
"Don't need to thank me for it yet, you're not exactly all that better." Shikamaru seemed to want to move away from the thankful subject. Not the sentimental type, isn't he? More like he's shy when others give compliments or thanks him. "Are you hungry?"
"YES!" Naruto yelled rather loudly, Shikamaru jumped a little, not expecting such an energetic reply.
"Dude, I said it once already, can't let anyone find this place, so don't scream okay?" The voice volume was just too much for his ears. He preferred silence.
"Gotcha. But my stomach is dying for something fill it up." Naruto rubbed his tummy, sniffing his nose from the earlier crying. The signs of a screaming, crying and damaged boy almost ceased to nothing. Just those red puffy eyes, how he's not moving around a lot, and also those bandages on his finger everywhere.
"I will get you some food." Shikamaru stood up slowly. "Also a hot tub of water. You need to take a bath."
The blond boy rose up his arm up and sniffed, his nose wrinkled a bit. "I stink, don't I?"
"Well I couldn't exactly put you in a bathtub and bath you when you're unconscious." Shikamaru used some water to wash his wound, eyebrows jumping a little. "Well, I could... But hopefully you don't mind that I didn't."
"Not at all." Naruto shook his head, smiling a little.
"I will be back in a couple of minutes. Just lay in bed for now and don't move around so much, okay?" Shikamaru reaches by the door and pop in his head one more time.
"Okay." Naruto said obediently. At the moment, food was the first thing he cared about.
As Shikamaru left the room, silence was all that lingered on. Naruto gulped a little, his fingers holding tight to the blanket. He hated this, this feeling like everything around him is dead. Just like that night, and that memory will pour in. But he was calmer now, taking in deep breaths, slowing down his hearbeats. The feeling he had earlier was like that time when Kiba pushed him in a pond, drowning underwater. That agonizing pain, where breathing was impossible, when visions are blurred to nothing. His head and heart was taken over by those water, drowned in his own tears and fear. Though he is fine afterwards, like he is now, he knows that it will come again and again sooner or later. The part which hurts the most was that he was hurting others, like Shikamaru, who was kind to him. People need to be away from when he's having this, he knows now.
And what he can't run away from. These thoughts, so heavy he's going to choke, as much as he wants to keep it far, far way.
Who was that man?
Why did he do this?
What had done that was so horrible that he deserved this?
...
Why?
Why him?
What kind of bound does he have with that man to do this?
He felt like billions of ants on his skin. The man's touch lingered everywhere. Unclean, his body is unclean. His lips quivered. He missed home more than anything. He wanted to see Iruka-niang and Kakashi, and cry in their arms, however cowardly that sounds. He couldn't believe the fact he slept for three long days. Iruka must be so worried. And Lee's letter. He is wearing a light blue robe right now, made of fine material for a peasant like him. The robe he wore before is probably ripped, along with the letter. Naruto shuddered at that thought, feeling tears almost flowing out-
He hears birds chirping. Bright and light.
Naruto's thoughts was interrupted by this delightful sound. His gaze drawn to the wide open window, to the scenery outside. A couple of yellow feathered birds rested on the overgrown tree branches, the rich green leaves contrasted to the vivid color very well, even a few tiny white flowers blooming. The sky was vibrant blue, and the sunshine, he realized, was warm, coating a shade of yellow on his skin.
His mouth opened like an idiot, staring at such an oridinary scene, and be amazed by it.
It's those moments when you just realize what you have. Hey, the sunshine is warm. Hey, there are birds outside. Hey, the trees are growing. Hey, the sky's color is really pretty.
Those moments when you truly take appreciation to things around you.
Before he knew it, he was smiling. Though he can choose to cry, to break down, to be torn by these memories, he can still embrace others, and it perhaps matters not if they do it back.
Shikamaru was already in the room silently, carrying plates of food and a big bowl of rice. He did not proceed any further, as he catch the sight of Naruto facing the sunshine, that golden light over him, smiling in a way normal mortal cannot manage. So pure of heart and soul, even being tainted from the body. Something celestial, enlightened by his own kind heart and bright spirit. He was saved by himself to a downward spiral of darkness. Even thought tainted, he can still keep his heart. How lucky.
Perhaps Naruto could really beat this, Shikamaru thought.
"Ahem," He cleared his throat, a little sorry to intrude this, but a sick patient has to eat and take his medicine. "Your food is here, Naruto."
Naruto seemed a little startled, but soon his face turn to a smile by the sight of food. "Yeah!"
Shikamaru carried the food to the table, giving Naruto a bowl filed with rice and some portion of the dishes he took. Naruto dug in fervently, almost just swallowing and no chewing. Shikamaru had really no desire to watch such table manners, though, understandably for someone that hasn't eaten in three days.
"Another bowl please!" Naruto exerted his hand out, a rice sticking to his corner of his mouth. Shikamaru sees all the green vegetables left untouched and rose his eyebrow.
"You need to eat the vegetables to get better, you know." He said, feeling as if he's talking to a child.
Naruto wrinkled his nose and stared at veggies with contempt, sighed, and ate the bak choy, wearing an expression like vomiting. Shikamaru shook his head, disbelief that a boy his age would refuse to eat vegetables.
That too, however, could just be part of his charm and persona. Purity. Innocence. Childlike.
The food was cooked by the Royal Kitchen, a kitchen filled with very skilled chiefs hired just for the royal families. Shikamaru merely snuck some out, by some connections Choji had made with the kitchen over the years. They're definitely the best of best, with many different styles from all over the country. Naruto is just digging into it, enjoying the special baked duck.
"Say, Shikamaru," In the middle of eating, Naruto started talking rather randomly. "Next time, I..."
"?" Shikamaru waited for the unfinished sentence.
"Next time I lose control again, just shut the door, okay? I will throw a blanket over my mouth." Naruto swallowed down the duck. "I will be fine."
Shikamaru stared at him, as if trying to figure out what Naruto was. He nodded. "Sounds fine."
He was sure if it was Naruto, he could do it.
Please understand that this chapter was half typed before I left. Now I need to review my plan for the storyline and go on. Look forward to the next chapter coming out soon!