How many of you out there sit on a couch at home, listening to your mom and older sister having a phlegm snorting contest? I am doing that right now. *sigh*

oOo

KATNISS' POV

As soon as Peeta left I felt insecure. The nice doctor was on the other side of the room, looking at me through the corner of his eye. Since he was here with me, I knew I wasn't going to completely flip out and start hallucinating, but nothing ever felt right without Peeta. Even if I was with Primrose and Mother. I never stopped fidgeting as I sat down on the long white couch. To my immense surprise, it was comfortable. Maybe even relaxing.

Peeta was going to take a while; I knew this for a fact. Finding Finnick shouldn't be too hard, but it would be Haymitch that will be sneaky and near impossible to track down. Not to mention anyone else he wanted to come.

I fretted. Things were going to be really awkward. What would I say? "Yeah, I am a pessimistic little child and I think that I'll lose my memory in two days so I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone I knew." No… I shook my head a little to myself.

"Katniss, I wanted to talk to you about the operation." Dr. Tyrwhitt detached himself from the wall and sat on one of the chairs in front of me.

"And you couldn't do it with Peeta here?" For some odd reason, the fact that anyone had something I should know that Peeta shouldn't bothered me.

"The circumstances will be different for both of you either way the operation will turn out." What he said was true, so I let him continue. "I just wanted to explain the schedule for the day of the operation."

"It's not tomorrow is it?" I said, immediately worried. Tomorrow belonged to Peeta, though I didn't say that. "The day after?"

"Right." He reassured me, and I immediately calmed down. "The day after. I have arranged everything already. We will need all of it."

I nodded.

Dr. Tyrwhitt took out a small yellow notepad from the front pocket of his shirt. "Today I need to give you some emulsion to wash your hair with the night before. It is supposed to sanitize and temporarily stop any greasing of the scalp or dandruff since we will be working in that area." He paused to let me understand that. But before starting up again he flipped to a new page in his notebook and began writing as he spoke. "The next day at 9:45 in the morning you are to sign in at the front office for your pre-op. There we will again disinfect your scalp and get your room situated. Anything you would need after the operation would be then placed in there and the room would be locked up until the following night. Then, at…" He flipped back to his first page and after glancing at it, flicked back to the second and scribbled something down. "…8:30 that night you are going to come in again and cleanse for a third time, and get situated in your room. You will have to be there until the sign-in process is done. After that you will be wheeled into the operation room. Up until then visitors are allowed to be with you. Not in the operation room, though." He added.

I thought about all this, and how the last surgery I had, things weren't nearly this complicated. "How come everything is so busy, and the last several times I went into surgery we didn't have to do any of that?"

"None of those were quite big and…" I could tell he was going to say 'life-threatening' but he didn't. "…in the central part of your body. If your brain gets messed up, nothing else would work. Your nerve operation was only a matter of repairing it. Not reversing its actions from the past year and then fixing it when it is raw and vulnerable. This is a risky procedure, but I know me and the other good doctors here will take care of you."

I stopped scowling subconsciously at my feet and looked up. My doctor was looking at me with a sincere, concerned look. A sudden rush of guilt flooded me, bringing back painful memories. The brown eyes of Dr. Longarden pierced me in my minds eyes. Once full of worry for my health, but it turned hostile fast. It was hard to think just a few months ago we used to have a very good doctor-patient relationship. Yet he turned his back on me, and what was best for me, and took one of the most special things in my life. My baby. Even thinking about the steely look on my former doctors' face when he told me he had killed my sweet baby daughter. Swallowing hard past the lump in my throat, I couldn't bring myself to think of her name. Even imagining her tiny pale face, the perfect duplicate of Peeta, felt as though I got stabbed. No, I've got stabbed before. This was like I was being burned alive.

"Er… Here," Dr. Tyrwhitt broke the awkward, painful silence by ripping of that page in his notebook and handing it to me.

Looking at it with very little interest, I noticed that on it were times and instructions written in extremely sloppy handwriting, which relived me. Dr. Longarden's was abnormally trim, unlike normal doctors'. Unable to tuck it into a pocket, I folded it up and placed it next to me, making a mental note not to forget it. "Thank you."

As if on cue, a brisk knock sounded on the door and it opened. I stood up a little straighter in the comfy sofa as Peeta walked in. He gave me a modest smile before stepping aside to let in Finnick, Annie, and may old mentor, Haymitch. Finnick led Annie over to the couch perpendicular to mine and sat down. Their hands laced discreetly in between them. I nearly sighed. The air around them was so soothing. Even Finnick didn't seem his usual overconfident self around her.

Haymitch was more sober than I had ever seen him. In fact he was dressed well, too. Instead of the normal grunge flannel shirt that hung over a disgusting, unidentifiably dirty one. Now he was in a clean (wow) button-down shirt with jeans (wow again). I wondered if there was some fancy something-or-other going on that I failed to know about, being in the madhouse for so long. Haymitch smirked at me and sat down on a plastic chair next to the little coffee table.

After my gusts took a seat my eyes wandered back up to Peeta, who hadn't. "Are you staying, Peeta?" I asked him.

He shook his fair-haired head and smiled. "No, I have some stuff to do. I'll be back at…" He thought hard and looked at the small clock hanging on the wall above me. It read 2:21. "I'll be back at four o'clock. Is that okay? Or is that too little time?"

"No, it's fine." I accepted his kiss on the cheek, knowing full well everyone was watching me. But their eyes followed Peeta out the door instead lingering on me.

Okay, it was really awkward when silence fell on the room. The doctor kept low in the corner, trying to stay out of the way but close by just in case I flip out or something. I really don't like talking much and being open, and goodbyes were the worst. But I guess it was me they were here for, so it was rude for me sitting by waiting for someone else to break the discomfited silence.

I cleared my throat and forced a smile onto my face when I turned to the small girl sitting next to Finnick, a bump visible on the abdomen. "So, um, Annie. How is your…uh…" I motioned vaguely to her stomach. "How's Jace?" It was probably not very nice of me to choose the one person in this room as talkative as I was.

She gave me a timid smile back. "He's doing great, thanks for asking." But nothing else was said. Whew, talk about uncomfortable.

"So Peeta told me about your wacked-out surgery thing. That's not too good, is it?" Finnick blinked his sea-green eyes at me.

Thank you Finnick! Thank you, thank you. I silently showed appreciation to my fellow Quell survivor. "Er, right. No, it isn't good at all. Even though the doctor reassures me the likelihood of my memory lapsing was slim, Peeta and I have kind of been treating it like we know it'll happen."

He shrugged, though I knew he thought we were being too pessimistic. "Hope for the best expect the worst, right?"

"Right…" I chewed the inside of my cheek, racking my brains for other subjects to keep the conversation going, though I knew Annie and Haymitch probably wouldn't join in. "So if things were to go wrong though this would be the last day I would remember anyone I met in the past year."

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Finnick suddenly ginned. "And I have done you so much good. What you wouldn't gain from having me out of your life."

I blinked, unsure what he meant. "You've been plenty of help." If he was being sarcastic, I was going to die of humiliation. "Without you Cinna would have killed me. Either that or the-the other two."

Apparently the topic of the Capitol spy assassins—aka: my beloved prep team— made people around here a little tense because when my gaze flickered briefly over to my old mentor his jaw clenched visibly. Even Annie took in a sharp, almost unnoticeable breath.

"Yeah, well…" Finnick obviously wanted to get off the topic of him saving me. "I wouldn't have let them hurt anyone if I could have helped it." Of course, we all were thinking of Gale.

I wanted to let him know how much he has helped me, though. Even if I don't like being open, he needs to know. "And back in the Quell," Boy I was hitting them all right where it hurt, wasn't I? "You brought Peeta back from the dead pretty much, when he ran into the force field."

"I only did what I was instructed to. Keep you alive. Everyone knew that if Peeta died, you wouldn't be any use to us." But as soon as that passed his lips, Finnick's eyes went wide and his gaze flickered fearfully to Haymitch, who looked murderous.

But when Haymitch saw me looking at him, he swallowed and said gruffly. "Never mind, about that, sweetheart."

If I get out of that surgery with my memory intact, I was going to get it out of him if it was the last thing I do. But instead of pressing the subject right then I turned back to Finnick. "Even if—though—you were instructed to do that, thank you. I probably wouldn't have gotten out of the Quell alive if you hadn't decided to be my ally."

"Oh, you wouldn't have." He grinned arrogantly. "You would have gotten speared by that freak kid behind you at the cornucopia, remember?"

I blinked. Would I want to? "Yeah, sure. I remember. But my point is you've helped me and, uh…" This was turning into an all-out awkward farewell fest. Pretty soon we would all be weeping in each other's arms and telling them how much we loved one another. Ugh. "And…I owe you one. Seriously."

Finnick nodded, visibly chewing on his lip. "I owe you, too."

"No," I snorted, confused. "You don't."

"For being the spark of rebellion. For helping us all stay alive, fighting against the Capitol. Some horrible things have happened to pretty much all of us there, and you pulled us away from that."

This was odd for Finnick. Really odd. He wouldn't normally thank me for doing something I never even signed up for and wanted to do. It wasn't my fault. Why was he giving me the benefit of the doubt when horrible things have happened because of me as well? I shook my head. "But you heard Octavia. The Capitol isn't dead. I don't know where it is or what it's doing, but Snow isn't gone. He's still out there plotting for everyone's violent deaths."

"We can go against them." He seemed to be getting worked up. "And we know h—"

But Haymitch stopped him. "That's enough, boy." He said gruffly. "Don't you have a doctor's appointment to go to?"

So Finnick spilt something he shouldn't have. He glanced at the clock. "It isn't until 3:30." But something tells me he knew just what Haymitch meant. "I still have fifteen minutes."

Annie made a small face and wound her hand protectively around her swollen stomach. She turned to her young husband and put her head on his shoulder. Finnick put his arm around Annie's small body.

Things were awkward for me. "You can-can go early if you don't want to be late…"

For a split second Finnick blinked but then he looked grateful. "Thanks, Katniss." He stood up, helping Annie up with him. I felt it was only polite to stand up, too, so I did. Finnick brought his right arm down from the shoulders of the girl next to him and held his hand out. "It's been nice knowing you, Fire Girl." He grinned. "Do us all a favor and try not to lose your memory, okay?"

I laughed shakily. "Sure thing." And after returning the kind handshake of his, I turned to Annie. She looked small and timid next to Finnick. "Well…" Sure, she was older than me by a while, but without hesitating, I brought her into my arms. She was about my height, but her small demeanor made her seem smaller. "Good luck with Jace."

She nodded. "Good luck to you too." Her light eyes seemed to do this little jerky thing to her right. After a second it was over and she was normal again. "Thanks for all you have done for us."

I gave her a smile. "Any time." Though I didn't add any of the negative things I've brought upon them. Then I addressed both of them. "Take care of each other."

After giving me a slightly overconfident salute on his forehead, Finnick's arm circled Annie again and they left.

Now it was just me and Haymitch. Oh, and don't forget the doctor in the corner trying to be invisible. I don't see why he didn't just hide behind the curtain around the spare bed.

My old mentor stiffly got up from the plastic chair he was sitting in and went to take Finnick's seat closer by me. After examining me with his watery eyes, Haymitch rubbed the five o'clock shadow on his jaw line. "It's been a long year. A long, life-changing year."

I shrugged and nodded. "Plenty has happened…"

"You're still the Mockingjay, Katniss, whether you don't want to admit it or not."

"Yeah, I guess it would be pointless to ask you what you and Finnick were giggling about that I apparently didn't need to know." I couldn't help but be annoyed. Peeta wasn't the only one who felt left out in plans made by Haymitch. Sometimes I couldn't help feel decived by him. He was my mentor. He was supposed to help keep me alive. But if he never told me anything, how could that happen?

Haymitch looked mildly upset, though he knew he couldn't keep it from me. I was too stubborn. "You know the Capitol isn't down. You know they're relocated in Alaska."

"No I don't." I interrupted, frowning. The prep team never told me that.

"Don't you? Rumor has it your charming little man had been caught eavesdropping on a meeting about it. He didn't tell you?"

There was a sudden hint of betrayal settled into my chest. Peeta knew? And he didn't tell me? It wasn't like it was that big of piece of information. I just felt as if he should have told me.

Haymitch scratched his head, which wasn't as greasy as usual. "I suppose he didn't tell you. But they're in Alaska. And eventually they'll be coming for you, Katniss."

That wasn't ominous and creepy at all…

"And when they do, you have to be ready. Whether you and Peeta have fifteen little kids squirming around in your house in the Victor's Village. You have to be prepared to face them as The Mockingjay. Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but it'll never be over. Even when District 12 gets rebuilt and you move in. Even if you're old and fat, with ninety cats. It'll always come back to haunt you."

Wasn't he supposed to make me feel better? All his words were doing was making me nervous and upset. I didn't want to be nervous and upset. "Why are you telling me this now? If I lose my memory day after tomorrow things would change anyway. Tell me then."

"That is the main reason I agreed to come today." Haymitch leaned towards me. I could see a little mole on his neck. Gross. "That surgery is a very high risk. You will be weak and vulnerable, and if the Capitol is, indeed, as strong as they claim to be, right after your operation would be the ideal time to attack. When the Mockingjay is down."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, annoyed. He was frightening me. "Not get the surgery? I have to, Haymitch, whether you want me to or not. I'll just keep getting worse and worse. Pretty soon I'll be thinking you were President Snow and attempt to murder you. How well do you think that would go through with your little group, huh?" I hoped my point was a good one. Good enough to go against Haymitch's.

He snorted in disgust. "You're hopeless. Go on and get the surgery. Abandon your country. Let thousands, maybe millions die. After all, you're only one little girl. What difference could you make in the world?" And with his usual sour look at me, Haymitch stood up and left.

I didn't know whether to cry or to be furious or to be appalled. I'm never escaping the horror of my past. Peeta kept something important from me. All Haymitch wanted was to make me his Mockingjay again. Everyone expects me to be strong, to be unbreakable and save their future. But how am I supposed to be unbreakable when I am just a kid? A frightened kid, only wanting to protect the people I love. I am only human, after all. I am no Mockingjay.

oOo

Awesomeness. That ending was rather cool, if I do say so myself. Anyways, please review telling me what you think! Opinions are always appreciated.