I'm back, fuckers, and I'm sorry for the wait. Did you miss me?
I sure hope not. That'd be kind of creepy.
Anyway, I'm here...and while you're reading this, I might as well promote a oneshot that I wrote. It's called "Son of Slaughter," and it details canon Naruto's "life" as far as the Reign In Blood universe is concerned; I always wanted to write it, but there's not a place for it in this story.
I'm also increasing my minimum word count (not including ANs) by five hundred, to 2500, since I've become comfortable with writing chapters of two thousand words. Always push your writing limits, guys.
Let's get this trainwreck moving, yeah?
Destruction and damnation would come. It was no threat, but a promise: the Dark Lord was a son of slaughter, the bringer of misery. As he stood across from Kabuto, he laughed inwardly; this man was supposed to be a spy? Furthermore, this man was supposed to be a double-crossing double-agent who double-dealt in the realms of information and medicine?
The world just didn't make much less sense than that...of course, that thought came from a man who'd been Anbu at birth, Kurojutsu at two, deactivated at seven, put in regular forces at eighteen, and regained his memories and abilities within six months of enlistment. Not to mention that he also had an ancient spiritual entity of near-limitless power stuck inside of him, or that he commanded elite forces with the drop of a hat.
If the elder Genin knew what was good for him, he'd back down. If not, then Naruto refused to be responsible for his actions; any blood on his hands would be washed away, soon enough, by that of another victim. As the proctor told them they could begin, Kabuto looked to him with a wide smirk. "Let's give them a show, yeah?"
That was all the warning that Naruto would get before Kabuto dove, trying to hamstring his opponent with chakra scalpels; Naruto flipped up, however, and tossed a pair of kunai at his opponent. The ropes around the pommel-rings allowed him to jerk them back, using them as flails. Their whining whistles rent the air in twain, dipping into flesh before sliding out. Kabuto began taking small hits, nicks and scratches on his arms or torso, though he didn't show that he felt any pain...they began to communicate in their movements, as both had been trained.
A left punch to the kidney, dodged and countered. How many people are in Orochimaru's force?
Two kicks with the right foot, with a flying jab from the left. Twenty-one thousand, at minimum. Will you be ready?
A lunge at the throat with one of the flailing kunai, followed by a tornado spin that sought to disembowel. It's not about whether I'm ready or not. The real question is, can you lead?
An uppercut that was allowed to land, though wrapped legs pulled Kabuto into the air with his opponent. I don't have much of a choice, do I?
No. Forfeit the match.
Kabuto sighed, descending, watching a blond comet bear down upon him. He wouldn't forfeit, regardless of who he faced or was subordinate to! He would lose, certainly, and give a show of it, but he wuoldn't dare to-
Kabuto's thoughts went flat as his world turned to darkness, Naruto barely holding himself back from ripping out the other boy's throat and lapping up his blood. It was a powerful illusion, and the only one that Naruto could ever effectively utilize; it worked on chakra levels. The lower the target's chakra, compared to the caster, determined the effects. Given that Naruto was a Jinchuriki, he had some of the highest chakra levels imaginable...and that meant Kabuto was likely to remain trapped until such time as the technique was released. He was blind and deaf, unable to smell or taste or touch; in addition, he couldn't form any sort of coherent thought. He felt like he was floating, disembodied, with no way to escape.
"He's finished, proctor. If he can escape that illusion, I'll call it a Christmas miracle and crucify myself in a manger."
And, still, nobody understood his religious references. It was possible that the Hokage might catch the joke, given the man's extensive knowledge in hundreds of topics, but he doubted that anyone else would ever find him funny. That was fine, though; inside jokes lose their humor, after all, when they no longer remained uncontained.
"Uzumaki Naruto is the victor!" Hayate cried out as Naruto dispelled the illusion. Bowing his head in defeat, the older man smirked as he walked away; from darkness, from void, he had regained his self and his being. In much the same way, he realized, Uzumaki Naruto was no longer as such.
"Will all victors of their matches please come down to the arena?"
They did, and Naruto saw the thirty-two who had advanced...most of them, unsurprisingly, were from Konoha. That was what happened when you rigged your exams and flooded them with your own contestants: they tended to win by sheer force of numbers. He noticed, however, that there were a fair amount of non-natives who'd managed to get through the leaf-ridden competition. Among them were Sabaku no Gaara and his siblings, Terumi Mangetami, Yotsuki "Robin" Yamato, and a girl from the minor village of Kusagakure. The last one surprised him, as he'd thought that the Village of Those Who Hide in the Grass had only sent the team that Orochimaru had disguised himself with. Clearly, the red-eyed redhead must have been skilled...or a spy. Either was plausible.
He had no time to dwell on it, though, as he needed to listen to Hayate's next words.
"For the second round, you will randomly be paired with another contestant." The Jonin explained. "This time, though, you'll be working together...kind of. You'll be put up against another pair, and fight until two of the four of you drop. The two that keep standing will move on, while the others can just try again at another village in six months. Having said that, your partner may not be someone from your village; in fact, it's not likely to be. Once again, the board will determine your fate."
The pairings were seen and noted, and Naruto saw a fair share of smiles and smirks that went around.
UCHIHA SASUKE/HARUNO SAKURA
TERUMI MANGETAMI/ABURAME SHINO
NARA SHIKAMARU/UZUMAKI NARUTO
AKIMICHI CHOJI/SABAKU NO KANKURO
SABAKU NO TEMARI/ROCK LEE
UZUMAKI KARIN/SABAKU NO GAARA
HYUGA HINATA/KIRI NO CHOJURO
INUZUKA KIBA/YOTSUKI YAMATO
He didn't pay much attention to the others, since he didn't know them and didn't care; they weren't the major competitors here, so why should he care?
The answer, of course, was that he shouldn't...so, by that logic, he didn't. People were replaceable, though blood was not, and he would need several of these people to complete the famed Legacy that Kurama had so often talked about in his mad ramblings on the past; when the fox thought that Naruto or his darker self weren't listening, he would speak of a time before the creation of the shinobi order...a time when, if he could be believed, he had been a human whose father and mother had raised ten children by themselves. The legends were so old that Naruto doubted that anyone but the other Biju could possibly know of them, with the exception of their Jinchuriki, but that was beside the point; if he absolutely had to, he would interfere with the matches in order to keep those people alive.
The second round was actually a lot easier than the first...for most people, that is. Each pair had run up against their opponents, though some loyalties were cut as soon as possible. Hinata had knocked Chojuro out from behind, with a quick Jyuken strike to the back of the swordsman's neck, while Temari had almost cracked her fan by clubbing Lee in the throat; the two girls had moved on with silent nods of appreciation for the other's power.
Then there were those who worked together, like Choji and Kankuro. As the puppeteer had held his foes down with chakra strings, the portly Akimichi had enlarged his fists and performed textbook "Hulk Smash" attacks. Kiba and Yamato had gone against their enemies as quickly as possible, with Yamato using Raiton chakra to increase his arm or leg movements and Kiba performing several Gatsuga strikes in tandem with Akamaru. Karin had performed several Katon techniques when Gaara shot his sand forward, turning the grains into sheets and spikes of razor-edged glass.
Sasuke and Sakura had been a little different; for different reasons, they were both weakened. Sasuke had most of his chakra drained by Orochimaru's sealing skills, and couldn't activate his Sharingan unless he wanted his body to get consumed by the marks of flame that would spread across it...and he couldn't allow that. Naruto, he knew, would butcher him if he proved himself to be out of control. Sakura, meanwhile, was physically weak and had even less chakra to work with than her former crush; her pool of known techniques was considered shallow, at best, and the only three that she'd ever truly mastered were those which were taught in the Konoha Ninja Academy. She still knew a weak medical technique, however, and used it to patch up a gash in Sasuke's side.
They'd taken on a pair of ninja from Yokaigakure, the Village of the Hidden Spirits, which Naruto would have sworn to be extinct; Sasuke had engaged the smaller one in Taijutsu before knocking him out, while the other one managed to hold his own against Sakura until a small fireball caught him off-guard enough that she could put a shoe to his kidney. As he'd leaned down in shock, the Uchiha had unsealed his gunbai and achieved the blow that sent his enemy into unconsciousness.
Naruto and Shikamaru had been different as well, though their strategy had originally been similar to the one used by Kankuro and Choji. The Nara heir had started off by sending his shadow out, trying to immobilize the enemy, but failed both times; their opponents were from Konoha, and knew the dark abilities of Shikamaru's family.
It was a good thing, then, that the two of them had always worked well in team drills; Naruto didn't need to be told of Shikamaru's on-the-fly plans, since he chose to simply run with whatever action the Nara performed. The raven-haired boy had thrown a few shuriken as he ran forward, closing the distance between himself and the enemy pair, while Naruto elected to dash up and jump off of his teammate's shoulders towards the opponent on the left. Since the girl had been looking at Naruto, she was unaware that Shikamaru had paralyzed her with his shadow...until his boot came down, smashing into the side of her face and knocking her to the ground. It had been a bone-snapping punch to the ribs that had come next, as she got back up, followed by an uppercut that had cracked her jaw. After that, she went limp in unconsciousness. A kunai was thrown from Naruto's hand, pommel-first, and the metal had smashed into the forehead of the opponent who'd been attacking Shikamaru; the boy had paused in his assault, which was more than enough time for the shadow-wielder to freeze his enemy and allow Naruto to savagely beat the boy down.
Once again, all of those who'd survived the melee were gathered onto the arena floor. This time, however, they would be able to choose their fate; they selected a number from the box in Ibiki's hands, which then revealed their final standings for the third exam.
Round One, Match One: UZUMAKI KARIN VS SABAKU NO KANKURO
Round One, Match Two: HYUGA HINATA VS UCHIHA SASUKE
Round One, Match Three: YOTSUKI YAMATO VS HARUNO SAKURA
Round One, Match Four: INUZUKA KIBA VS TERUMI MANGETAMI
Round One, Match Five: SABAKU NO GAARA VS GONAI JITSA
Round One, Match Six: MINA NO KAZEHANA VS ABURAME SHINO
Round One, Match Seven: SABAKU NO TEMARI VS NARA SHIKAMARU
Round One, Match Eight: AKIMICHI CHOJI VS UZUMAKI NARUTO
Quarterfinals, Match One: R1M1 VICTOR VS R1M2 VICTOR
Quarterfinals, Match Two: R1M3 VICTOR VS R1M4 VICTOR
Quarterfinals, Match Three: R1M5 VICTOR VS R1M6 VICTOR
Quarterfinals, Match Four: R1M7 VICTOR VS R1M8 VICTOR
Semifinals, Match One: QM1 VICTOR VS QM2 VICTOR
Semifinals, Match Two: QM3 VICTOR VS QM4 VICTOR
Final Match: SM1 VICTOR VS SM2 VICTOR
Things were going to get interesting, and it wasn't going to be done slowly.
"You have a full month to prepare for the third round, where you'll fight in a tournament and be judged. Based on the scores you receive, you may become a Chunin...this means that it's possible for none of you to advance in rank, or for all of you. More fights means that there's more energy to be used in your efforts, but it also means that you have more chances to show your skills to those who'll be judging. That panel includes not only Konoha's own Hokage, but also the Raikage, Mizukage, and Kazekage as well!"
With that, they were let loose upon the village once more...Sakura was headed home, to be trained by her father in the Haruno clan's familial arts. Sasuke would go to the Uchiha district, such as it was, and train himself. Naruto would-
Okay, we all know that Naruto's not going to do anything related to the Chunin Exams. He doesn't need to train for them, or psych himself up, or any of that other jazz that Naruto often does to prepare for one of the most grueling events of his childhood.
Naruto would focus on his plans and his plots; the rotting disease of politics had spread, and he aimed to eliminate it. Where the flames of will had once spread illumination, the darkness would consume. In the darkness he held a sword-breaker of black-and-white thoughts, and the beast inside of him was ever-hungering for conquest and butchery...a hunger that he gladly fed, and would feed, as it was his own desire as well: to see the blood of the damned as it stained the ground, pooling beneath them. To watch the lights leave the eyes of those he had despised, and those who had dishonored him with their mocking or their insults. Most of all, however, he wanted to watch as the Will of Fire was engulfed and reclaimed by the blaze of the Fire of Hatred. He would be there to see the old world crumble, and the new universe would bow to his will. Not just Konoha, or the Elemental Nations that comprised the Center Continent, but the other four continents as well; all of the world would find their way to the service of the Dark Lord Kitsune.
Believe it.