Again, I am SOOO sorry for the long waits for the updating! Gomenasai! (bows). Songfic song by Within Temptation.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. D:
Chapter 14. Memories
Hitsugaya watched his best friend being taken away by her own friends to jail.
A small flicker of hurt burnt in his chest like a candle at the thought of what he had done to her now. Would she ever forgive him?
"Sumimasen 10th taichou-san, to make you waste yer time on one o' mine." His accent was strangely irritating.
"Ichimaru…" Hitsugaya's voice was steady, but he did not turn to face the other captain. "You… were about to kill Hinamori." He noted knowingly.
An ominous wind blew just then, ruffling their taichou's haori. After a moment, the silver-haired taichou replied.
"Well now, whatever are you talkin' 'bout?" Ichimaru sneered. When the wind had died down, Hitsugaya replied indirectly.
"I'll tell you this now." He warned. "If you make Hinamori spill one drop of blood…" He turned to face his fellow captain now. "I will kill you." His aqua eyes betrayed the fact that he was dead serious. His tone was hiding menace behind its threat, and he glared at the other captain.
If his eyes were opened, the 3rd squad captain would have seen just how much the 10th squad captain meant his words, and how much truth was in them. However, he remained unflagging and stoical as usual.
"That's scary. We'll have to watch her real close-like so no bad guys can get to her." He scoffed.
Tension crackled in the air like lightning between them for a moment.
Anger boiled silently inside of Hitsugaya; Ichimaru was treating Hinamori like helpless kitten. He wanted to make a swift retort, but knew that he should keep his mouth shut. Not only would it encourage Gins insults, but also make himself look childish.
Suddenly, a group of Shinigami came running up to the two, asking what had happened.
"Take Aizen taichou down." Hitsugaya ordered.
As they agreed and ran past, Hitsugaya walked calmly past Ichimaru, that lightning-like tension re-appeared for a split second, then dissolved into nothing.
Hinamori knelt in the 5th division's Detention Cell.
Pictures of her precious captain kept flashing trough her mind. She remembered everything ever since she had joined the Gotei 13, and all the times they had been through together. And then, the freshest images of all came to her mind, his bloodstained body, pinned there to the building, with the cruel sword driven through him.
She remembered the strange sensation she had felt that told her to turn around, she had thought that she could almost hear the blood dripping. She was consumed in sadness and sorrows as she remembered everything that made her heart ache.
It was not fair.
She prayed that it was all a dream again, and she prayed with her entire being again, that she would wake up from some horrible nightmare to find him still there.
But again, nothing happened.
As she went through everything in her mind, she felt the pain slowly ebb away.
Her memories aroused and wreathed around her.
In this world you tried,
Leaving me alone behind,
There's no other way,
I pray to the gods let him stay,
The memories ease the pain inside
Now I know why
It was now the day after the dreadful death of her captain and she was left all alone in her prison cell.
She had refused all of the food offered to her, and she had spoken to no one; she kept to herself and pushed all others away.
Presently, she put her palm on her pounding forehead, her eyelids closed and trembling. "Taichou…" She whispered to herself.
Then, almost as soon as she had closed them, Hinamori re-opened her tired, chestnut eyes as she heard the footsteps of a visitor approaching. She was about to ask them to leave when she looked up and realized that it was Matsumoto. The orange-haired lieutenant had a sorrowful frown on her face, and pity for her friend in her blue eyes.
Hinamori felt a small shimmer of relief; Matsumoto seemed to be one of the only people she could call a friend at the time. She did not care about being roughly confined by her; that was her own fault. Right now, the girl was just thankful to see someone she needed to when she needed to.
"You look awful." Although it was not what Hinamori expected her to say, she knew that Matsumoto's words held truth. She just met her friend's eyes.
"Rangiku-san." She said softly, hurt and relief in her small voice.
"Have you settled down a bit?" The older lieutenant asked. Hinamori responded with a small nod.
"Ano… Sumimasen." She apologized almost inaudibly. "I have been a burden on you too." She turned away in shame.
"Huh? Oh. Don't apologize to me. I wasn't able to do anything." She confessed with a slight sigh.
"Ano…" Hinamori wanted to choose her words carefully. "Outside…what is happening?" Another sigh from her friend told her that she was not going to get the response that she had wanted.
"Its chaos." Replied the blue-eyed vice-captain. "Something like this occurring inside of a station is completely unheard of. And there's the matter of the ryoka…"
She trailed off, and Hinamori remembered everything that had happened with her old friend Rukia in the past few years, and how she had been sentenced to death. She had wanted to help the others who were planning to stop the execution more than anything else before. Ukitake had told her that he and may others planned to put an end to it and save the raven-haired girl, but now…Now she could do nothing for her friend, nor could she even have helped her own captain.
"Everyone's moving on their own and getting out of control." Matsumoto continued.
"My God…" Hinamori murmured. "Then what about arresting the killer?" She asked anxiously, sitting up straight.
"They still haven't finished inspecting the scene." Matsumoto told her gently. "We have no choice but to wait for the Captain General's decision."
"Demo…" Hinamori could hardly believe what she was hearing; it was so obvious… "Demo, the one who killed the taichou is-"
"Stop right there!" Matsumoto's voice changed to a harsh, sharp shout. Hinamori's eyes widened in shock and she withdrew immediately. "Don't just say what's in your heart! Just now, I told you everyone's in chaos…but 5th squad is the worst off." Her words were cruel, but Hinamori knew that they were true.
She still said nothing; but pulled away a little bit more. She felt tears hot behind her eyes and it took everything she had to keep them in.
Matsumoto went on; her voice had not softened at all. "They have lost both their taichou and fukuutaichou at the same time. You realize what'll happen, don't you?" She was glaring at Hinamori now, anger and disgust beginning to fill her eyes. "I'm not saying I don't understand how you feel. But you know…at that moment you drew your sword at Ichimaru taichou, and the actions you took the moment you found Aizen taichou…" Hinamori recalled everything as Matsumoto spoke it. "Don't you feel you should at least think about weather you had to take those actions because there was no other way? The rank of fukuutaichou…isn't that trivial is it?"
Every word she spoke stabbed another thorn of guilt through Hinamori's heart. She just wanted to die right then and there and get away from it all, and hopefully see her captain again.
Little did she know that she would be leaving much more behind than what she would be finding if she were to die.
"Gomenasai." Was the only thing she could manage to say after a moment of holding back her tears. "I…I…" The way Matsumoto had just spoken to her and what she had said were almost unbearable now. She had never been so hurt by the fukuutaichou so much before, and she thought for sure now the orange-haired lieutenant hated her.
Matsumoto's eyes softened almost un-noticeably as she reached for something and handed Hinamori a letter.
"Here." She said flatly, handing it to her. Hinamori glanced up with teary eyes.
"It was in Aizen Taichou's room. It's addressed to you."
"Aizen taichou…" Hinamori breathed out the words. "…To me?" She whispered in disbelief. She cupped her hands around the letter as if it were the most precious treasure in the world. The other fukuutaichou turned away.
"You're lucky it was my taichou who found it." Matsumoto's tone was still a bit harsh, but she was beginning to go back to her usual self again.
But then, she whipped back around to face the smaller girl. "If it was anyone else, it would've been presented as evidence, and you might never have received it." She informed the brown haired girl sharply, meaning that she better have been grateful to her childhood friend.
"I don't know what's written in it," She went on. "But having one's taichou leave behind his last words to her…is a happy thing for a fukuutaichou. Read it gratefully." With those last, meaningful words, Matsumoto turned away from Hinamori slowly.
The last image of her friend that she had, had been her kneeling on the prison floor, with her sleepless gaze locked onto the letter, tied in a purple ribbon. Her chestnut eyes were full of misery, confusion, and pain, and now Matsumoto regretted being so harsh on her. She wished to send her taichou down there to comfort his friend, for she knew that he was the only one who would be able to comfort her now. As she began to walk away, she heard the soft, pitiful voice of Hinamori call out behind her:
"Ano…Arigatou gozaimashta!" Matsumoto just waved her hand and stepped outside, gazing up at the clear blue sky. She sighed, and walked away.
Back inside, shut off from civilization besides the ones that went inside to visit her, Hinamori gripped the letter tightly, pictures of her captain re-filling her mind once more. Aching stabbed at her heart like a fierce lion's claws as she held the ribbon.
Then her fingers moved and the letter was revealed.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent moments,
Imagining you here,
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent whispers, silent tears
Hinamori's eyes widened as she read what the letter contained:
Hinamori-kun, if you're reading this letter, I must not have been able to return.
Here she paused. The taichou… knew that he was being targeted…She realized with a twinge of hurt. Taichou…
The letter continued to say: I've caused you a lot of worry. I don't think any words of apology I could string together would ever suffice. Until now, I have never spoken to you about the insecurities I have felt. But I want you to understand it was because I didn't want to get you involved. And if possible…I want you to forgive me…for finally involving you at this stage. I'm probably no longer living…so…for you, whom I trust most of all, I will record here the entirety of the truth I have uncovered…
Made me promise I'd try,
To find my way back in this life,
Hope there is a way,
To give me a sign you're okay,
Reminds me again it's worth it all,
So I can go home,
"This is…" When Hinamori had finished reading the letter, she could not believe anything that she had just read.
She did not want to believe one word of the letter now that she had read it.
The final words from her captain were the last ones that she wanted to read in his letter.
I-It's…impossible…No…It can't be… Her thoughts were spinning and she felt sick. It just can't be him…No…not…not…Hitsugaya-kun… She remembered all of the times they had been through together. Not to mention the fact that he had saved her from a cold lonely life alone in Rukongai when he had found her.
They grew up together, and shared secrets that no one else knew about the other. They were closer than brother and sister; she always thought that, even when they were little. They had lived such great lives together when they were little, up until the day they were attacked in the woods by the Hollow. Then, even when she had gone away to the Academy, he had said that he would join her eventually, and he did; he always kept his promises.
She had thought that Aizen and Hitsugaya would be good friends.
They had celebrated Hitsugaya's birthday together, and then Christmas shortly afterwards.
Just recalling the events made longing return to haunt the confused fukuutaichou of squad 5.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent moments,
Imagining you here,
All of my memories keep you near
In silent whispers, silent tears
Hinamori remembered the small party they had thrown for Hitsugaya's birthday that year as if it had been yesterday.
"Come on Hitsugaya-kun!" She called, pulling his arm. Matsumoto was on his other side, urging him on.
"Come on taichou! It's your birthday! And Hinamori-chan told me that you two would always do this together when you were little!"
"Oh she did, did she?" He asked, glaring at his childhood friend. "What else did she tell you?" He growled.
"Oh nothing, nothing taichou." She lied.
As they sat on the rooftop, Aizen joined them, and gave Hinamori a pink blanket for her snow-covered shoulders, because she was the only one not wearing a scarf.
When they had been there for almost an hour, Matsumoto had wished her taichou happy birthday one last time and departed, and Aizen soon afterwards.
When Hitsugaya and Hinamori were alone, they had each seen a comet.
Hinamori claimed that the one she had seen had been a light, pink, peachy color, while Hitsugaya had seen a light blue one.
They saw them at the same time as well. "Quick! Make a wish Hitsugaya-kun!" Hinamori squealed.
She saw him smile quickly, and although she never found out his wish, she had wished that she could become a comet, and soar across the sky…
Together in all these memories,
I see your smile,
All of the memories I hold dear,
Darling you know I'll love you
Till the end of time
Hinamori shivered, not being able to comprehend that Hitsugaya was the one that murdered her captain.
She knew that they had also been somewhat of friends. That night, the night of Hitsugaya's birthday, before Aizen left, he had shared a bit of knowledge with them all:
When the night was still washed in twilight, there was a fireworks show. Dazzling sparks of purple, red, green and many other colors dappled the sky, and as the four watched in silence, the icy, Winter wind blew.
After Aizen had congratulated Hitsugaya for his birthday, the boy had responded. "To the people who grew up in Rukongai, birthdays don't really exist. If you're born into royalty over here then it might be different…" After he had trailed off, Aizen had given them all something to remember.
"We're all the same, no one actually remembers their exact date of birth. You just have to believe the date that someone you trust tells you. It doesn't really matter if it's real, the fact that you know your birthday is already a sign of happiness." Hinamori had though deeply about the meaning of his words, and then, Hitsugaya came back with a prophecy of his own.
"We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. Then, even if that time comes, lets not disappear…like the fireworks…and continue to shine…forever…"
Once they had all finished speaking, Hitsugaya thanked them all, and then they had been silent except for the periodical blast of the fireworks, until Hinamori and Hitsugaya had spotted the comets.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent moments,
Imagining you here,
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent whispers, silent tears
Hinamori felt the fervent tears stream down her face as she thought that the two whom she had loved and admired the most in this world would have hated each other even the slightest bit.
And she could never come to think that their hatred was so great that it would go to the extreme of murder.
Salted water almost drown out all of her other senses as she sat alone in her cold, quiet cell that night. When she tried to lean back against the wall to let sleep come, she only found herself waking up from dreadful nightmares, clutching her taichou's letter, the last thing that he had left behind in this place, the only solid thing that she could remember him by now that he was gone.
But why would Hitsugaya-kun kill him? Why would he do something like this to me? To take away the one that I…
She finally drifted off to an uneasy sleep in mid thought, the last thing in her mind still echoed through her head as she fell asleep:
Why?…Hitsugaya…kun…
All of my memories…
A/N: This was a pretty important chapter for later on...you will see!
Please, please, please review! And make me happy and help me forget my failing grade on my math quiz!