Yeah, those last few chapters I'd have to admit were pretty pointless. Just let me know if they were a little TOO pointless. This one might be a little bit… :D Enjoy this chapter! (It's still in Peeta's POV, btw) (Oh, and this chapter goes out to my best buddy, Rachel for being so awesome and helping me through my writers block)

oOo

After dinner, I helped Katniss walk around a little more. She could stand alright, but it was near impossible to take more than three steps without her leaning into my side for support. My arm was protectively around her waist, and I did my best to be as patient as possible.

Katniss groaned and pressed her face into my shoulder after she made it all the way across the room. "I'm going to vomit…"

I was immediately cautious. "Should I carry you to the bathroom?"

"No, no." She sucked in a breath and tried to put on her 'I'm totally fine' face. "The more I walk, the better it gets."

I didn't mention how every time she does, she nearly passes out.

"You need a rest." I didn't take no for an answer, and half-carried her to the bed, where she collapsed. "I'll get you some water."

Katniss only nodded, closing her eyes.

When I came back with a tall glass full of crystal-clear water, she drank thirstily. After draining her glass, she wiped her mouth and looked up at me. "Thanks, Peeta. I feel better." She put down the cup.

Smiling slightly, I lay down next to her and turned my head towards hers. "You have really been making improvements. I'm proud." It was a slightly cheesy thing to say, so when I did, I added a small grin to keep the cheese-effect from wearing out.

Katniss couldn't help but smile, too. But then her smile faltered just a little. "I was, um, thinking… Before bedtime I want to take a shower because…" Her eyes avoided making contact with mine. "If I'm able to stand well enough, do you think I'd be able to? Or was the doctor absolutely serious when he said you aren't supposed to leave me alone, ever?"

"I think he was absolutely serious." But seeing Katniss' discomfited face, I tried to reassure her. "Don't worry; your recovery shouldn't be too long at the rate you're progressing."

"I just don't know if I am totally comfortable with the idea of showering with you quite yet." Her cheeks turned red and she offered me an embarrassed smile. "No offense intended."

"None taken. I know what you mean." I racked my brains for something to make her feel a bit better about the situation. All that came to my mind was how insulted she was when I called her 'pure' right before the Quarter Quell. "You can go in your full set of clothes if it'll make you feel better. Instead of just under."

Katniss snorted, trying to conceal a smile with her pink cheeks. "Yeah, like that'll work." But then her tone changed from amused to serious again. "It's alright, though. It's not like we've ever seen each other without anything before…" She abruptly cut herself off, face growing even pinker. Katniss muttered, "But this time we'll actually be wearing something, so…"

I tried not to smile. Stupid hormones... "Well, whenever you want. It's 8:45 now, so just before we go to sleep."

"Like… Now?" I could tell she was incredibly uncomfortable with this whole thing. "Is that okay?" Katniss tugged on the edge of her shirt (which she managed to worm her way into earlier) nervously.

"Yeah, it's fine." As I got up, I inwardly wondered if it would be okay to kiss her right then. Maybe it would make her even more awkward, because it just amplifies the fact that I am, indeed, a boy who is required to shower with her. I tried desperately to shove that inane thought away before it rooted. I offered my hand down to Katniss.

She accepted it, but didn't say anything.

We walked unsteadily (Katniss was leaning on my shoulder) towards the bathroom, and when we got inside, I paused. "Judging by the look on your face, Katniss, I would say this wouldn't be the best time. You look as though you're about to pass out." I didn't add how she also looked like she was ready to crawl under the bed and die.

"I'm fine!" Katniss insisted, straightening up. "As long as I don't try to do jumping jacks or remember anything, I should be fine." For a few seconds she stood there eyeing me uncertainly, but then she said, "Close your eyes. It would feel too weird for you to be looking while I took off my clothes."

I did as I was told, though I inwardly hoped she wasn't going to fall down at hit or head while I had my eyes closed.

A minute passed. "Okay, I'm good."

When I opened my eyes, she was leaning uneasily against the wall in her underclothes. Personally, I don't see why she made such a big deal about it since she spent a day and a half not wearing any.

She blinked once and me and turned her head away. I could tell this was just really awkward for her, so I finished as quickly as possible. In a record twenty seconds, we were both just standing there uncomfortably in our undergarments.

Walking on unsteady feet, Katniss stepped into the shower, which was conveniently large, with a water-capturing ledge around the edges. The showerhead was huge, and was firmly lodged into the ceiling over us.

Wordlessly, Katniss reached over and turned on the water. It sputtered slightly and a fine, warm mist drenched us from above. When she gave me a self-conscious glance, I sighed.

"You don't have to look like that, Katniss." I reassured her. "I know this isn't exactly ideal for you, but if it is the mere fact that we are showering together, I can promise you that I won't touch you as long as if you don't want. There's nothing to worry about."

Katniss looked startled. "I know you won't." But what surprised me even more, was she stood up on her tiptoes and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry about me." With a small smile, she turned back around to fetch the tall shampoo bottle from the holder on the wall.

But I did worry about her. That ever-growing sense of dread in my stomach hasn't gone away. Even being here with her after that memory-scare, something about this whole thing…

I shoved that thought away violently, and grabbed the shampoo to distract myself. Soaping up my hair with half the bottle, I ran my fingers through it so it all stood up in the middle.

Katniss glanced back at me with an odd look on her face. When her eyes flitted up to my hair, she let out a quiet laugh. "Your hair…"

I gave her a small grin.

But instead of turning back around like I thought she would, Katniss reached up and began spiking it disarray. When she stepped back, I was rewarded with another smile from her. She said nothing, though, just gazed at my hair absentmindedly. Her hand, which had been hanging at her side, subconsciously moved upwards and traced lightly against the white scar running across her belly button. A froze crept across her face, and she glanced down at it as if she had not known it was there.

"Katniss?" I reached out cautiously to her, the angle of the water hitting my arm sending sprays of water into my face.

For a second more she just stood there, hand on her stomach. But then she suddenly winced. The fine black lines of her eyebrows were now furrowed together, and her breath came out in short, quick pants. Katniss whimpered once, and then collapsed against me.

My arms automatically went around her, and I felt the frightened breathing under my fingers. She was still conscious, and her legs still held her up a little bit, but she was trembling against me.

For a few seconds we just stood there in the mist of the shower. When Katniss started crying, I realized that remembering wasn't what was hurting her so badly.

I pressed my cheek against her hair and closed my eyes, holding her comfortingly to me.

"Why did they have to do that, Peeta?" She sobbed against my shoulder. "She was so young… There was time to change! My little…" Katniss gulped. "She was my little Alexis. I was so afraid. So afraid something would happen to her. I didn't want to have a connection with her because things happen to those I love. I knew that if I loved her as much as I do you, she will leave me. It was only a matter of time…"

I found small rivulets of tears streaming down my face, saltwater mixing with the spray of the shower. But I stayed silent. This was first, and probably only, time Katniss would let me into her heart about our departed daughter.

"There was nothing like it, Peeta. Being a mother." With a ragged breath, she pulled gently away and ran a small finger down the length of her scar, not looking at me. "It had affected me in more than one ways. Everything about that girl changed me. I have fallen apart, Peeta." Now Katniss drew completely away from me and hugged her arms to her chest.

I still reached out for her, but she drew away. "No, never. You're perfect." I just said it out of impulse, since I think it nearly every day, but it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"I'm too broken to be perfect." Her voice could barely be heard over the noise of the shower, and she slid onto the wet floor.

It was then I realized what was so off about this. How even though I was happier than anything to have her back again, it didn't feel right. For the first time ever, I understood what Gale had understood. When he came to me right after—well, when he came to me and said he couldn't continue because of the look in Katniss eyes.

She was broken, like she had said. No matter how happy she seems at the moment, there is always that glint in the back of her eyes. She was lost. I could never get into her mind because she was gone, lost to the world. Katniss was so broken into pieces, and I hadn't seen it before. My love for her had veiled the truth.

Soundlessly, I reached over and turned the water off. Katniss didn't even look up when I sat down next to her.

There are times when we

Don't really know

Katniss curled up at my side and put her head on my shoulder. We were soaked completely through, wearing nearly nothing at all. But that was okay with me. Silent words were passed between us, through our laced fingers.

Which way is right

Which way to go

I pressed my lips to her forehead. Painful stabs shot through my heart with every doleful beat, surely echoing through the room and could be heard by Katniss as well. Katniss didn't speak, tears the only movement that could be seen.

We're feeling so lost,

So all alone

Katniss didn't know what I had been thinking, feeling. I wondered to myself whether she understood what I did, even though it was her own feelings. Did she realize how utterly hopeless things seemed at this point? I wouldn't give up, though. I needed her.

They say we are picture perfect,

Flawless,

Unspoiled.

But did she need me? She says she does, she says she loves me. But then again, she says she's okay. Broken, but okay. Those weren't necessarily lies she had meant to tell. Maybe she doesn't even realize it herself. Somewhere deep inside of her, I think part of her soul had died. And she thinks I've filled it back up, but it doesn't work that way. She will never quite be whole again. We'll be eighty years old, sitting in chairs by the fire, wrinkled hands reached towards each other but only the tips of our fingers touch.

But we are only human,

Less than perfect

Can things like this ever heal? I knew she won't ever be the same. That was just a fact I was going to have to face. Our scars adorning our bodies are merely memories, badges that say we were warriors. We lived.

Sitting naked beneath the sun

But that's okay

In the ruins of what once was called America, we were born. We were the flowers in the sidewalk cracks. We were miracles. Yet… Was there even such thing as a miracle anymore? Everything was science and technology, no coincidences. So if the Capitol could make babies in test tubes, what did I mean? Was it a mere twist of fate both Katniss and I got chosen for the Games? Not knowing we would end up being like this. Not knowing we would need to save our entire country, and the lives of everyone in it.

Because no matter how shattered

How broken you are

Arenas stained red mean nothing. To the people, they are sets. Stages that appear on TV for their entertainment. To us, they are battlefields, tombstones. On those very spots hundreds of years ago, people use to live. They use to thrive, weep for their family. Lives had begun, lived, and ended. Blood had been spilt, tears had been shed. But that doesn't mean anything.

I need you

So don't leave me

Taking a shaky breath, I leaned over and pressed my lips to Katniss' forehead. We will make it. We will continue through this hell on earth until we find a happy medium where we can live peacefully. A quote, from a book I had read a few years ago: Walk behind me, and I will lose you. Walk ahead of me, and I will fall behind. Walk beside me, and be my friend forever. You have not seen the last of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark., I thought to the Capitol. And maybe they heard me. We will survive.

You're perfect

oOo

Okay, here's the deal. I didn't mean to have that last bit in this chapter, but looking back and reading it, I realized that this would be a PERFECT ending chapter. I could stop it here and just make a sequel. But if you don't want me to, just say.

(PS: That little poem I put in there, I wrote. Off the top of my head. :D)