Again, I may not get to update on Sunday...but we'll see. I wonder how you'll take this?

Let's get this trainwreck moving.

"Kill, kill, kill them all, make sure they're all dead!" Shiro sang, laughing as she cut her enemies down. "Merrily, knowingly, happily, glowingly, split open their head!"

She danced as she killed, blood flying from her enemies and joining her own pool of viscous bombs. Each one that fell was made to explode through a chain reaction in their blood, disturbing the surviving enemies and making them easier targets as they fled from her.

"Why are you going away? I only want to play a game! It's called 'See How Many Colors Are Inside a Human Body!'"

She cut off a straggler's legs with her blood, sending him flying into his comrades and exploding once he was in their midst. "I forgot how much I liked this! I need to remember to thank Naru-chan later!"

Her expression was the very face of manic insanity. Her eyes were wide open, staring down at the fallen as she stood above them, with a near-painfully wide smile stretching across her face and baring her fang-like teeth to the world. Her hip-length silver hair was completely out of her face, flowing behind her in the wind of death and blood, and she was lauging. It was a terrifying sound, even more than Kitsune's dual-toned voice; it was fast-paced, high-pitched, a wailing cackle of delight. She could only lament that her humor wasn't shared by the victims she hunted down and forced explosions upon, but she couldn't deny that she hadn't had that much...fun...since Uchiha Madara had been alive.

Kitsune might have been born on a battlefield, but Shiro had been a fighter for thousands of years before he was born. It was his home, his castle, but not even he would dare to deny that it was her kingdom. She was mania, frenzy, bloodlust, greed, and everything else that was dark and disturbing in the world of war. She was the immovable object to Kitsune's unstoppable force, a bastion of power that had stood for millennia and that had weathered countless storms of blood and iron. She had birthed the magic of the world, the Biju in their human forms, and even her own child with the Sage of Crystal, the Sage of Six Paths, the one who brought life to the dead land: her own beloved Kazama...but he was dead, and she remained eternal in her curse to live until her purpose had been fulfilled and the world was broken of its magic.

But, for now, she would sing and dance as she killed those who would dare to harm her children and descendants. That was what they needed her to do, and she would do it for them.

That was what Shiro did best, after all.

"Kill, kill, kill them all..."

"So you summon another copy of yourself." Orochimaru waved his hand dismissively. "Why don't we simply make it a trio?"

Another coffin rose, beside the one that had held the Sandaime Hokage. As the four Kage fought it out, Kitsune and Menma watched in horror as they recognized the symbol printed on the front.

"You wouldn't."

"I just did." The White Snake sneered. "Tell me, Black Fox, have you ever wanted to meet your mother?"

The lid fell, and Uzumaki Kushina was revealed to the world. "What? Where am I? Who're..."

"That is your son, Kushina, and you are going to be the one who kills him. You brought him into this world when he was kicking and screaming, and I have a feeling that you'll make him leave it in the same way. Isn't undeath just absolutely wonderful?"

"You're a MONSTER! WHEN HE SENDS YOU TO MAKAI I WILL FEAST UPON YOUR BONES! I WILL CAST YOU INTO THE DEEPEST PIT OF THE AFTERLIFE WITH YOUR HANDS REMOVED AND YOUR TONGUE TORN OUT SO THAT YOU CAN TRY TO CRAWL YOUR WAY OUT LIKE THE BITCH YOU ARE!"

"My, my, how unladylike. Now, if you would please..." The sealing tag was shoved through her forehead, and she went limp. "...kill the man that you gave life to, and then join him."

The two pieces of Kitsune's separated psyche were silent for several moments as Kushina's reanimated corpse moved toward them, but the Dark Lord himself was the first one to speak.

"There are many things that you've done that can be atoned for, Orochimaru, even if that penance is your death. Your murder of your parents in cold blood. Killing Tsunade's brother and lover because you couldn't bear for someone close to you to find happiness. Human experimentation. Betrayal of trust and of people. Aligning yourself with the darkness, falling from your heroic position. Turning your devoted student, a girl who loved and trusted you with all of her heart, into an experiment and a pariah. Continuing your experimentation with sealing arts of dark magic from the East and machinations from the West. All of that can be forgiven in death, though only by a sliver."

"But this..." Menma growled, his black eyes twisting into a demon-fed red, "...this is unforgivable. We were going to kill you anyway, but we were at least going to be polite and civil about it. You're about to learn just why the term for a person who holds a demon within them is 'Human Sacrifice...'"

And then, as the seal on Kitsune's stomach glowed, he bowed his head.

"I apologize, mother. Hopefully, by the end, you'll find it in you to forgive me."

She was absorbed into the seal, and he doubled over from the pain of killing a person who'd invaded his body. He called Naruto back to him, unsealing him and giving him his sword.

"It's up to you and Menma now, Naruto. I'll need to fight my mother out from the inside, with Kurama, and kill her there. Take him out before he can summon anyone else."

With that, his body began to glow red.

"Naruto-kun, you didn't need to do that..."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't. Or, at least, you don't need to do anything now. There was a part of me sealed into the Shiki Fuin for when you would fight and defeat the Kyubi and take its power, and I already beat the copy of me that you put in here."

"...so you're telling me that I left myself wide open for no reason. I'm literally a sitting duck right now, out there, and there's no guarantee that anyone will do anything that won't result in my death. If I die, Menma and Naruto both get their own bodies and get to be two separate people instead of pieces of my psyche."

"That's what I'm here for, you fool. Do you think anyone is going to be attacking a rampaging mini-Biju? The answer is 'no.' Nobody is actually that stupid. Or, at least, I hope for their sake that they're not actually that stupid."

"Oh, even better." Kitsune and his mother rolled their eyes in unison. "The physical manifestation of hatred has complete and unlimited control over my body. That's just fantastic."

"Your alternative is dying. What's two months of your lifespan compared to immediate death?"

"I'd still rather have those two months, you know."

"That's not the point. Two months is...minimum. I don't think I'll need to go beyond four tails in the second state, but if I do then it'll jump up to five years. Then to ten years. Then twenty. Then fifty. If you ever unleash me with all nine tails, then you will die instantly."

"...fascinating." He said the word cynically, clearly not interested in the topic of his own mortality. "And yet not. How is my name supposed to live forever if I die before I can become a conqueror?"

"That's for you to figure out, honey. Now, since I don't have to worry about being controlled anymore, why don't you tell me about that blonde woman who's got a ring to match yours...hmm?" There was no mistaking the mischievous look in her eyes. Even as an orphan, he still had to endure teasing from his mother about his wife.

Why, just once, couldn't karma be fair to him? What atrocities had he committed in some past cycle of the Wheel that would force him to endure this...tenderness?

He was the Dark Lord, damn it, not some child who had to endure this kind of torment and torture!

"You're here a little early, Kabuto...and you as well, boy."

"I am Kitsune no Sai, the Swordbreaker of the Black Fox. You have served Konoha well, and defended it against all threats as best you could. Unfortunately, sir, it is my duty to inform you that the Godaime Hokage has ordered your death due to your betrayal of him."

"I never betrayed the Kitsune." Danzo refuted. "I have nothing but respect for the man who did everything that he was ever trained for, though he may not realize that I was the one who trained him for it. I am proud of him, truly...and if he's gone through with the coup we planned all those years ago, even without the Uchiha on our side to aid us, then I don't doubt that Sarutobi's beaten me in our game of firsts again."

"Perhaps, in another life, you'll be able to watch the sunrise together as friends and brothers." Kabuto's words didn't offer much comfort, if any, and Danzo's esteemed Vaccuum Blade was drawn with the intent to shed blood.

In a shocking twist, however, he sent it into his own chest.

"If Kitsune has become Hokage, then I can die in the knowledge that the shadows will forever protect Konoha. The shade has been brought to peace, the light to rest, and the great tree lives in glory..."

He died quickly, as was planned, but Sai and Kabuto couldn't help but feel a little hollow.

"We didn't even fight."

"Don't spoil it, Sai. Give him his delusions, since it gets him out of the way and completes our job for us. I'm not sure what Kitsune is thinking, since Danzo is one of the greatest ninja that Konoha has ever had, but if Danzo goes along with it then I don't think that we should complain."

They left the room briskly, but Sai stayed behind as Kabuto left the underground complex.

"I am Sai." He declared. "And from this day forward, I am the one who is the leader of Ne. The roots of the great tree are what allow us to live within the fire of our land, and return that strength against our enemies; go, now, and fight those who would dare to strike against Konoha!"

The soldiers didn't seem to mind the sudden power shift, glad to be doing something instead of waiting for the fighting to end; thousands of soldiers that would turn the tide of battle had appeared, and Sai almost laughed. Their plan had gone through: Kitsune had taken out the Hokage, the top of the village, and the roots had died accordingly. Now, of course, it was time to meet somewhere in the middle.

Maybe he would meet a certain redheaded Kage's daughter while he was at it.

"And there we go, all done! Now, just head to the eastern section of the wall, since that's where the main fighting is taking place!" Naruto yelled. The reinforcements raced away, with the Konoha Genin hot on their heels, and none of them noticed the fearful look on Naruto's face as he was reverse-summoned to Kitsune's side; they wouldn't have been able to, anyway, since they were too busy looking forward and cutting the advancing enemies down.

Sasuke had begun using his gunbai again, fanning his flames into a shoddy variation of Enton that was more powerful than generic fire techniques but still not quite as strong as the true Enton that Kitsune could wield. Even so, it was enough to turn opponents into charred corpses. Sakura was having a slightly easier time of things, since she could aim her physical or spiritual energies like kunai and throw them forward to cut through enemies. Ino led the pack, using her hands to tear apart anything that got in her way, and Lee was right behind her so that he could protect her from whatever weapons came her way; he had several senbon, shuriken, and kunai lodged into his arms, but kept moving. Neji had left them to join his clan in their fight, and Tenten had gone to see if her father was alright. And then, almost missing it, Sasuke saw him.

"Itachi!" He shouted, swinging the gunbai down in an attempt to cleave his elder brother in half.

"Sasuke." The man responded, a kunai stopping the war-fan from completing its downward motion. "How have you been, brother?"

"Violent. Pained. Dead."

"Ah, so Shiro gave you her power. I wondered if you'd try to obtain it in your quest to seek me out, but I have some disappointing news for you: I am innocent."

"That's the worst lie I've ever heard."

"The Uchiha clan was planning a coup of Konoha's government with Shimura Danzo and the Kitsune. Ne and Kurojutsu forces were to be the main troops, Kitsune would become Hokage, and the Uchiha would be lifted from their position as the scorned and distrusted family of Konoha. From there, we would conquer the whole of the Shinobi Nations. After that, we would defeat the South, East, North, and West continents in some unspecified order. Once that was complete, the Uzumaki and Uchiha would rule over their Senju brethren as the leaders of the world despite their cast-aside status as the younger children of the Sage of Six Paths."

"You're wrong, though. We're descendants of the eldest. The Uchiha are, at least. Our ancestor is the Kyubi itself."

Sasuke was desperate to find some flaw in his brother's reasoning, some way to bring the man down so that he could justify nearly twelve years of hatred and anger for the death of his family.

"That's unimportant. The point of my story is that one man didn't like that idea, hated the thought that someone always had to rule over the others...though I have my suspicions that he just wanted to break up the plan. In any case, he had black hair and a single black eye. He wore an orange mask over his face that covered everything except for his right eye. He betrayed our cause, killing every Uchiha he could find. I put you under the Tsukiyomi and covered you with blood so that he would think you were already dead and then leave...which worked. I was forced to take the blame, as you were too young and the masked man had no identity to pin onto him, so I was the one who became a rogue agent. If you want vengeance for things done unto you, just as Kitsune does, look to find that man. He is the cause of all of Konoha's problems, from the third war to the release of the Kyubi to the death of our clan. I don't doubt that he still seeks to meddle in our affairs, and that means that you still have a chance to destroy the one who's responsible."

They spoke Sharingan to Sharingan, and Sasuke could tell that there was no lie in Itachi's words. His brother was...not guilty. Mother and father hadn't died because of him. He'd been saved and protected by a man he'd sought to kill for more than half of his life.

In that moment, Uchiha Sasuke felt the deepest and blackest shame that he would ever know.

Believe it.