Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Phineas walked into the house, stunned, on a chilly December evening. I need to talk to someone, was the only coherent thought he could form. He stumbled toward the kitchen, where his mother was preparing dinner while Ferb, Gretchen and Isabella worked on a lab report at the kitchen table.

"What happened?" his mother said, looking up and seeing his expression.

Phineas took a deep breath. "Adyson...Addy...she..." He choked back a sob. "She broke up with me."

"What?!" Gretchen yelled, sitting up in her seat. "Why?"

"Oh, honey," his mother said, giving him a hug. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Did she say why?"

Phineas took a deep breath, calming down as his mother hugged him. "She...she..." He took another deep breath. "She said she didn't want to get to college and have only had one boyfriend. She...it's not me, it's her, she said." He pushed back from his mother, and she let him go.

He looked over at the table. Ferb looked shocked, while Gretchen looked confused and Isabella looked...if he had to pick a word, he'd say 'guilty'. He remembered that she'd broken up with her own boyfriend a couple months ago.

His eyes narrowed a bit as he saw Isabella. I could ask her out, I suppose. She's pretty and seems nice.

Adyson would be furious with me. She'd be hurt by my 'betrayal'.

Which would be the main reason to do it.

He shook his head. Isabella deserved better than to be used as a pawn in revenge against Adyson.

"Here, I was saving this pie for after dinner, but I think under the circumstances we can get into it a bit early if you think it'll help," his mother said.

The next day, at school, Isabella was walking toward her locker when she saw Gretchen walk up behind Adyson with blood in her eye.

"What was that all about, Adyson?" Gretchen said intently.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. A week ago, you were proclaiming to anyone who'd listen how much you loved Phineas. And then you dumped him?"

Isabella decided she didn't need to get to her locker quite that quickly, and ducked around the corner where she could listen without being seen.

"I didn't dump him. I just...told him it was time for us to see other people. For me to see other people."

"Why?" Gretchen asked.

"Because I don't want to be one of those lame prissy girls who date one guy all through high school, and then they do the long-distance relationship thing in college, only to have it blow up in their face. Because that's what happens. And then you're there, you've wasted all of high school and half of college on some guy half the country away."

"You consider the time you spent with Phineas wasted? After everything he did for you?"

Adyson snorted loud enough for Isabella to hear. "No, I don't consider it wasted. He's a great guy. But he's not what I want any more. And so spending further time on him...that would be wasting it."

"I thought I knew you, Adyson," Gretchen said, confusion in her voice.

"I'm still the same Adyson. Look, I'm not telling you to ditch Ferb. You want to go off with him, get married, have green-haired babies, be my guest. I'm not ready to be tied down like that yet."

Isabella heard the locker slam shut, and then Adyson walked past, not seeing her. Isabella turned the corner again, and Gretchen was standing in the middle of the hall with a hurt and puzzled expression on her face.

Gretchen saw her, then shrugged. "You heard, I assume."

Isabella nodded. "Ferb's hair is naturally green?"

Gretchen laughed. "You didn't know? Yeah, apparently he got it from his mother. He tried growing a beard once, and...well, it's not a good look on him. He likes to describe it as mossy, but it looks more like mold to me."

Isabella blearily opened her locker and shoved her books inside. She'd been up too late working on an English paper, and the alarm clock this morning had been one of the least pleasant sounds she'd ever heard.

Adyson opened her locker with a *clunk*, then suddenly said, "What the..."

Isabella looked over. The entire locker had been lined in aluminum foil. Everything inside it had been wrapped in foil as well. Isabella laughed at the silvery sight, earning her a glare from Adyson.

"Did you do this?" Adyson asked angrily.

Isabella shook her head. "Nope. No idea who did."

"I've got an idea," Adyson said darkly.

"Phineas!" Adyson shouted as she approached the lunch table.

Phineas looked up from where he was talking to Ferb and Gretchen. "What?" he asked, puzzled.

"Did you mess with my locker?" she demanded. People at nearby tables were looking at them, Phineas saw.

He shook his head as Ferb tried to smother a smirk. Gretchen rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.

Adyson's eyes narrowed as she looked at Ferb. "You did it, then?"

Ferb nodded, grinning viciously. "You deserved it."

Adyson glared at him flatly. "We'll see. You'll regret that." She turned and stomped off in a huff.

Phineas looked at Ferb. "What did you do?"

"I may have wrapped everything in her locker in aluminium foil," Ferb said with a grin.

"Why?"

"I couldn't just let her get away with what she'd done," Ferb said.

"Ferb, let it drop, please," Phineas said. "It's not your problem."

"If you think I'm going to let some...girl...use my brother and get away scot-free, you'd better think again," Ferb said in a serious voice.

Phineas followed Ferb toward his locker on the first day back from Christmas vacation. "I still think the mechanical snowman was the best thing we did this vacation," Phineas said.

Ferb stopped dead in the hallway, looking at his locker. Phineas looked over, confused.

The entire locker door had been covered in My Little Pony art and stickers, with a giant Pinkie Pie painted in the center. Reluctantly, Ferb went over to the locker and opened it. Several other students were eyeing it and snickering. Ferb poked at the decorations, but it was clear they'd been be almost impossible to remove. Fortunately, it looked like the culprit hadn't gotten inside the locker.

"Mister Fletcher," a refined British voice said behind them. "Is this your locker?"

Phineas looked back and saw Mrs. Atherton, Ferb's English teacher, approaching. He winced; he knew she was Ferb's favorite teacher, and that Ferb wanted to impress her with his taste and refinement.

Ferb nodded reluctantly.

"You are aware of the rules on locker decoration, I'm sure. This is completely unacceptable," Mrs. Atherton said, and Phineas saw Ferb shrink down in embarrassment. "I expected better from you, Mister Fletcher. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" she asked.

"I didn't do this," Ferb said simply.

"A likely story," Mrs. Atherton said. "You...bronies," she said distastefully, "seem to think rules don't apply to you. I shall see you after school today, and you shall clean this...'art'...off of your locker." She turned away and stalked down the hallway.

"Ooh, Ferb, you should have known better than to do that to your locker," Adyson said from one side. "Mrs. Atherton really doesn't like ponies much." She grinned as she turned around and headed away.

Ferb's eyes burned. "You'll pay for this, Adyson," he murmured coldly.

Isabella almost missed it; if she hadn't happened to be looking right at Adyson, she'd have never seen it. Adyson was talking to Sasha about her plans to track down some guy named Steve after school so she could ask him to next week's Valentine's Day dance. A slight movement near Adyson's purse caught her eye; Adyson's lipstick was peeking over the edge of the purse, and then it was suddenly gone, zipped over to Ferb's seat in the back of the room, pulled by a tiny tractor beam. Isabella looked back at Ferb, puzzled, and caught him gently tossing another lipstick into Adyson's purse; it landed perfectly inside.

Isabella pondered whether to say anything, but decided not to. Maybe she'd ask Ferb what was up in biology class today.

Isabella closed her locker and got ready to head home. She was puzzled to see a clown in a sleeveless dress storming in her direction; the clown had white face paint made up in a sad face. She wondered why the clown had plain brown hair instead of a wig, and then she suddenly realized that it wasn't a clown, it was Adyson. Isabella suddenly remembered what Ferb had said he'd done - something about nanobots to spread the lipstick around into more of her face.

Adyson slammed her locker door open, then glared at Isabella. "Tell Fletcher that I will get him for this," she said through clenched teeth.

Isabella stifled a giggle, nodded, and ran toward the buses quickly before she burst out laughing.

"Ferb, we need to hurry if we're going to catch the bus," Phineas said. "Let's grab your books and go."

Ferb opened his locker, then stopped cold. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Phineas? Did we give Adyson one of the cans of regenerating expansion foam after we finished the space shuttle?"

Phineas thought for a moment. "Maybe? Why are you asking me now? We need to go."

Ferb opened his locker wide. Phineas recognized the white foam that filled the entire inside of the locker. Ferb reached out and pulled out a chunk of rubbery foam; as they watched, the foam seemed to regrow itself and repair the hole.

"Yeah, I think Adyson did end up with one can," Phineas said quietly.

"Well, now we know what she did with it."

Isabella sighed. It was the day before the Valentine's Day dance, and she didn't have anyone to go with. She opened her locker, grabbing the books she needed for tonight's homework.

Adyson bounced over to her own locker. "Hiiiii, Isabella," she said, cheerfully.

Isabella glared at her and closed her locker.

Adyson laughed and unlocked her locker. It snapped open, and a fine mist sprayed out. It smelled horrendous, like a mix of skunk and vomit, with overtones of rotten fish. It hit Adyson square-on.

"Augh!" Adyson shouted, covering her nose, and Isabella threw herself back. She didn't think she'd been hit by the vile spray, but the odor was so strong she couldn't tell. If she had, she could only hope it would wash out.

Pinching her nose shut, Adyson said, "I'm gonna kill him."

Isabella could only nod. "I think this is starting to go too far."

"I don't know, Ferb. Why should I go to the dance?" Phineas asked. "I mean, it's a Valentine's Day dance, and I haven't had a girlfriend for two months now."

"Maybe you can fix that," Ferb said as he reached over to straighten Phineas's tie.

"I don't know if I want to yet," Phineas said quietly.

"I'm sure there will be other unattached people there," their mother said from the couch.

"Yeah, tons of single girls go to the Valentine's Day dance," Phineas muttered.

Ferb was off dancing with Gretchen, and Phineas stood at the punch bowl. There were some single girls there after all, but they all seemed to be traveling in packs. Worst. Dance. Ever, he thought.

He glanced up at a new couple coming in, and his breath caught. Adyson was hanging on the arm of some guy he didn't recognize. He was suddenly glad his cup was empty, because he'd crushed it in his hand without realizing it.

He looked around himself quickly, and spotted Milly hanging out with Buford. "Who's that Adyson's with?" he asked them quietly.

Buford looked up. "His name's Steve. Coupl'a years older'n us. He hangs out in the auto shop most'a the time. Wants to be a racer."

"Is he...will he be good to her?" Phineas whispered.

Buford rolled his eyes. "Why do you care?"

Milly giggled.

"It's just..." Phineas began. "She's still important to me."

"Dinner Bell, it's over. You ain't gettin' her back."

Phineas turned to Buford. "I know that. Nobody knows that better than I do. But I used to love her, and I still don't want her getting hurt."

Milly shook her head. "Phineas, you are far too nice for your own good."

"'Specially after the stuff she's been pullin' recently," Buford added darkly. "Yeah, he's a pretty good guy, I heard. Better'n she deserves."

"Thanks, Buford. That's what I needed to hear."

"Phineas? Can we talk for a minute?" Adyson said, walking up to him as he sat to one side of the dance floor.

He looked up at her and shrugged. "If you want. What's up?"

"Can we call a truce?"

"I'm not the one you need to talk to."

She rolled her eyes. "Can you not encourage him?"

"You need to talk to Ferb. I'm staying out of this."

Adyson sighed. "He's so hard to talk to, though."

"Only to people who hurt those I care for," Ferb said from behind her.

"Look, I'm sorry," she said, turning around. "Maybe I should have let him down more easily, but what would you have had me do? Keep going out with him when I knew I was going to break up with him? I thought it'd be like pulling off a bandage. Do it quick, get it over with, get on with life."

Ferb stared at her silently for a moment, then nodded. "A fair point."

"Truce?" she asked. "You got the last shot in, I'm willing to let it lie where it is. If we keep this up, we're going to get more collateral damage."

"Please, Ferb?" Phineas asked. "This isn't even about me any more, and somebody's going to get hurt. Isabella said you almost got her with the odor spray yesterday."

"Truce," Ferb agreed after a moment's thought.

Isabella got over to the corner of the lunch table where she sat with Louisa. The rest of their Fireside Girls group had drifted off over the year: Dave had stopped sitting with them when she broke up with him, Alex had gone off with Ricky's friends, and Melanie had started hanging out with the band crowd.

Louisa wasn't there, and the corner was taken by the football players who they'd shared the table with. Isabella looked around, and spotted Louisa with another group of girls. Isabella sighed and looked around for somewhere to eat her lunch.

She saw Phineas, Ferb, and Gretchen over at another table, with a couple open seats around them. Phineas was talking animatedly about something, while Ferb rolled his eyes and Gretchen shook her head.

"Mind if I grab this seat?" Isabella asked, taking the seat next to Phineas.

"No, no I don't," Phineas said, and continued telling Ferb about his plans to build a vacation resort over spring break, getting Isabella to join in with ideas as well.

"Would you like a ride home tonight, Isabella?" Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher asked as they finished up their last biology lab report.

"Actually, my mother's going to pick me up. She should be by in just a few minutes," Isabella said.

The doorbell rang, and Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher opened the door. Isabella's mother stood there, still dressed up from work. "Hi, I'm here to pick up Isabella?" she asked.

"Hi, come on in, they're just finishing. I'm Linda Flynn-Fletcher," Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Vivian Garcia-Shapiro," Isabella's mother said, coming inside.

The two mothers chatted as Isabella helped Ferb and Gretchen put the finishing touches on their lab report. Finally, they declared it done.

"Okay, Mama, ready when you are," Isabella said, gathering up her books.

"Just a minute," her mother said, talking to Ferb's mother about her jazz quartet.

Ferb shook his head and sat back, as did Gretchen. "She'll be a while," he said.

After a few more minutes, Isabella's mother finally started getting ready to leave. They paused at the door, as Isabella's mother looked intently at the house across the street. "I think we looked into buying that house, actually," she said, pointing to it.

"Oh, really?" Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said. "What happened?"

"Somebody else bought it before we could."

Isabella looked at her mother, puzzled. "So we could have lived here?"

"Oh, yes. Just think how much that would have changed things. Instead of butting heads with that Adyson girl, you two would have been in the same troop."

"And I would have had Phineas and Ferb helping me," Isabella said quietly. "We would have won every single year."

Ferb had followed them to the door. "Indeed. With your leadership, Adyson's drive, and my and Phineas's desire to help, no other troop would have stood a chance," he said.

Shaking her head, Isabella followed her mother to the car.