Introducing Eowyn
*All rights to the character Jasper belong to Stephanie Meyer and her association with Twilight; as well as the reference to Eowyn, belonging to LOTR but not the character herself
Another battle had gone ill as I found myself mending more and more soldiers, they poured in by the dozens now. Some we could save, some we could not, but it didn't stop any of us from trying as we ran for supplies and medicine. As a woman it was our duty to be there as a consolation as our brave men came to us for aid, this didn't bother me as much as hearing them beg for one more chance at life with their dying breaths. They all cried at the end, for their loves and the life they had to give up too soon but who could blame them? So much loss for a war I couldn't understand nor did I particularly want to. I had lost my father, two brothers and mother to this bloody conflict and swore revenge on the enemy, no matter what the price I had to pay. This war would be the end of us all. I could feel that down in my soul but dared not to reach into it quite yet.
Sighing aloud, I looked down at my tattered dress stained with scarlet blood, hand prints of the lost souls that I had worked on and held in their final moments. I felt hopeless, I couldn't breathe... I started to shake uncontrollably. Between the hospital duty and meal time preparation, I barely had a moments peace but today I felt more overwhelmed than usual… perhaps it was the agonizing screams, heartache and distressing pleading, the weight of terror that hung over me and ran louder in my mind but I could no longer hold in my own fear so I ran, even as people cried out, my friends starred at me with question; I swallowed back the burning tears as my feet carried me to an exit.
"Eowyn? Eowyn!" I barely recognized my own name. Every breath singed my throat, my lungs burned and I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I whimpered. I needed air…
Rushing through the heavy corridor that was thick with the palpable smell of blood and whiskey, I knew I needed to slip past the military men just outside the entrance of the tent. My head was swimming with the hallowing sound of death, the scent of fear; the eyes of each innocent soul whom I watched leave their body, my father's dying breath and words to me… I felt myself gasping for air, the painful memories belting against me as I saw an opening of the tent, flapping in the wind, calling for my escape.
Bursting through I felt myself hit a solid mass, the last of my wavering breath exiting my lungs as I jolted back.
"Oh god" I thought as I inhaled my lost breath. I opened my eyes I found myself in the steady arms of a Military Officer and a different fear set in, there were penalties for disobedience and I was no more than a mindless treat to these men.
As I trembled I knew that I needed to speak quickly, no alarm in my voice to alert him to the distress within and with every ounce of resolve I had left, I stood at attention and addressed the Major
"I wish a moment, sir. I'm stepping out for some air, please let me by." I whispered with the softest dialect I could conjure. I knew he could see the fear in my eyes, I wasn't even sure if I was successful in fighting back the tears. I bowed my head and silently pleaded for mercy.
"Ma'am, take your leave as you see fit." He spoke in a thick Southern accent and waved me by with aristocratic manner.
As the young Major nodded down to me, I began my swift departure. I took notice of his riding gloves and uniform now stained with copious amounts blood, his face riddled in agony of what could only be the loss of someone he cared for. I'd felt this look on my own face once before and felt his overwhelming melancholy through the wall of strength he was projecting. Trying not to draw attention, I glanced up and met his gaze. The eyes were told as a gateway to the soul and just like my father before me, I could read a man by looking through him. My father taught me that no matter your station, you look a person in the eyes as a sign of respect; even as a woman I should do so. This, however, was the first time in my life someone had actually looked back at me and I struggled for breath once more. His piercing emerald eyes felt as though they passed right through me but in this fleeting moment, I felt a kindness to him. Shivering at this brief nuance between us, I nodded and hastened towards the dark path through the woods leaving the young man to his duty.
Running at a full gait now, branches breaking and grabbing at me as though they wished me harm, I trudged through a mossy trail that lead to the overlooking field, one I had walked through on numerous occasions when times got too pressing for me to sit still. Falling to my knees at the paths end, my face in my hands, I began to sob. Not in physical pain but in hopelessness, I couldn't continue through the course I was on and find peace. There was only death, heartache and sorrow that lay ahead for me now and not a single human being left for me to share this feeling with. Had war brought us to this? We were fighting our fellow brethren, slaughtering them like cattle; I'm not even sure they truly knew what we were fighting for. Whatever end game had to pass, I'd never understand. Freedom paid in blood came at too high a price.
After what felt like hours, I picked myself up from the ground and walked towards the ridge on the hill. Why was I looking for solitude that was no more possible than peace? Resting on the rigid boulder fence for armistice from the throbbing agony of watching life be treated with such discord, I wondered how the world might have been if things were different. I looked past the truncated forest, into the flowing grassy knoll for answers but saw none.
As I closed my eyes I could feel the crisp autumn breeze weave through my waist length blonde hair, wrapping around my face like my father's hands and I inhaled it in as a welcomed friend. In these troubled times I wished he were still alive more than ever, he was wise as he was kind and he would have certainly known what to do. Instead I sat and pushed away my cold council, this could never be again and such thoughts were dangerous, I needed to keep my wits about me to survive the days to come. I could feel the familiar chill in the air, not of winter, but of impending doom and it was coming. I felt the last single teardrop run down my face as I thought of my last moments. What would I wish for? Perhaps my father's voice? My mother's smile? My brother's playfulness? Each passing memory carried a heavier burden on my heart.
"Never again" I yelled, quickly wiping away the painful tears.
I hopped down off the rock and started back towards the encampment, this was no time for weakness and as a woman, my place was in the hospital even if what I longed for was the chance to show my quality on the battlefield. No man would ever want a woman of that nature, of that I was certain and this cold council weighed heavily on my mind.