Haha! Guess who's back? You all thought I abandoned this fic, didn't you? Well I'm not that kind of person!
I do apologize for the excruciatingly long wait on such a terrible cliffhanger, for my computer suffered from viruses and I suffered from school and exams. But now that's all over, I fully intend to get back on the job and finally finish this fanfiction!
Disclaimer: I, after like, 6 years of loving it, still do not own Bleach. Songfic son by Sugarcult.
Chapter 26. Pretty Girl
Hitsugaya's dreams were tainted with the past that night, so they were better classified as nightmares.
He blinked his aqua eyes open to find himself staring at Seireitei, and for a moment he was confused until he realized it was a dream. He was running at top speed, leaping over rooftops and using his shunpou as he raced away towards the Central 46 Chambers. A sense of déjà vu overcame him, but Hitsugaya had no control over his body this time, and so he continued to run.
Some forebodingly ominous feeling told him what lay ahead and he remembered every detail of what he was about to see.
He tried to stop himself from running, he wanted to turn around or just stop, or wake up, anything but keep going. He knew far too well what sights he would be forced to witness if he kept going, but no matter what he did, he could not wake up nor stop.
Within moments, he had reached the massive, building and he was about to dash inside when he suddenly stopped. The déjà vu shattered as he realized that this had not happened during real life at this point. Why have I stopped? He wondered.
At first he was grateful, thinking that he would not have to see the bleeding body of his friend yet again; as if that image did not haunt him enough. Soon, anxiety crept over him and then confusion. But suddenly, his vision was clouded over as if by a dark gray curtain. The surrounding environment of Seireitei faded away and was replaced by the insides of the building of Central 46. Hitsugaya realized with dread that the event of him stopping his running had only brought him to the place he did not want to be even faster.
But he soon found out that his dream body was not actually there, he was just seeing what was going on inside. He could see three people, all whom he recognized instantly. Ichimaru was standing a ways behind Hinamori and Aizen, grinning with an amused hint of menace.
"Aizen Taichou!" Hitsugaya knew his best friends' voice instantly.
Then, he realized what was going on. He was now seeing what had been happening while he was running back to this very place.
"Long time, no see, Hinamori-kun." The voice sounded warm and caring, but Hitsugaya detected a faint trace of mocking and pretense. He wanted to shout out to Hinamori, but he had no voice. Then, with great difficulty, he remembered that this was just a dream- or rather a nightmare- of the past, and there was nothing he could do to change the present anyway.
So instead, as much as he was against it, he said nothing and watched the scene he had missed. He listened to all the lies Aizen told her and how he pretended to care for her. And sadly, Hitsugaya watched as the girl was pulled into his plans even further and believed every word he said. All the while, Gin watched with a smile in the background.
After a moment, Hinamori walked shakily over to her captain and he murmured a few things into her ear. Hitsugaya could see a look of pure love and joy on her face as she cried tears of happiness.
He did not even see when Aizen drew his sword. And surely, neither did she.
The white-haired boy watched helplessly as his best friend gasped and slowly looked down. The sword had stabbed all the way through her body and the bloody tip protruded from her back. Hitsugaya did not miss the flash of sheer and utter confusion and hurt in her glazed chestnut eyes. She looked up at Aizen before her body started to tremble. The man roughly yanked his sword back, as if having it simply touch her was humiliating; as if her blood was unworthy of being spilt by it. A choke was cut off from her throat as her limp form fell to the floor, a dark crimson liquid pool stretching out all around her.
The gray curtain blacked out the nightmare after that, and Hitsugaya found himself running through the Chambers.
He arrived just as Aizen and Ichimaru were walking away from their victim.
Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head
Hitsugaya woke with a start, realizing for the first time just how close he had been to preventing all of this.
He had only been seconds late.
He was enraged at himself in knowing this, but mostly at Aizen for tricking her and making her think that he was alive after she had thought he was dead. Hitsugaya had thought that he must have snuck up on Hinamori and just inflicted the nearly fatal wound when she had her guard down, but to lure her into his trap like that…
It just infuriated and disgusted him in knowing that the foul man had played by using such dirty tricks.
A warm, Autumn breeze drifted through the slightly opened window, but it was frozen immediately as soon as it entered the room. The atmosphere was dropping rapidly as Hitsugaya dwelled on his past mistakes. Only when he noticed small icicles forming around the sill did he cease from lowering the temperature.
It was just after dawn and the orange sun was glowing brilliantly behind the changing leaves of the trees outside. Hitsugaya gazed up at the sky to clear his thoughts, wondering, not for the first time, how many seasons he would be forced to wait before his friend would wake up, if she would.
Slowly, he remembered how he had fallen asleep the previous night and blinked, looking around. His arms were stretched out in front of him and he found that his forehead was pressed against Hinamori's shoulder. He stayed where he was for a moment, closing his eyes and taking in her scent, which had, for the most part, faded away. It had used to be a warm, comforting and lively peachy smell, but now it was cold, dull and still, and there was only a very slight scent of peaches through the dreary aroma.
Then, he slowly pushed himself up and stood on trembling, numb legs as he stretched the tiredness away. He made his way over to the IV to check the machine as he had been asked to by Unohana in the mornings to see if anything had changed in her patient's condition. But as Hitsugaya examined the lines and zigzags, he saw nothing new.
So he passed the bed and exited the room to get some breakfast and take care of some of his duties.
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Hinamori watched again as the scene of her battle with Hitsugaya replayed itself.
She wanted to block out the pictures that flashed in front of her, but yet again she found herself rendered helpless against the torrent of harsh memories.
She was getting impatient with all of this. She felt strong enough to be able to get up from this bed where she had been lying for goodness knows how long. She wanted to walk again, and she wanted to see things and people again. She wanted to hear other things besides the voices of her past and the echoes of her own screams. She wanted to smell the scents of the world again.
Occasionally, her flashbacks allowed her to experience the sense of smell. But this was only for the smell of blood, because it was the only thing she could remember at some times. And sometimes, if she tried hard enough, her dream self could just make out the scent of watermelon.
The one thing that annoyed Hinamori most of all, however, besides not being able to actually see, was that she could not feel anything. No matter which scene was running through her head, she could never feel anything at all. But then again, maybe that was not such a bad thing after all, considering she did not want to feel the pain of the metal sword sliding through her stomach.
But she longed to feel the breeze of the wind and the warmth of the sun. Now, it was as if she were trapped inside a book; nothing but pictures and words.
Hinamori waited in the darkness as her memories decided which painful scene to replay for her next. Then, she was in Seireitei, running again to the lieutenant's meeting she would be late for. She obediently followed the scene as if she were a paid actress, letting everything happen as though she had done it a thousand times, which, perhaps she had. She watched her dream-self collapse to the ground and shout out her captain's name, and then everything was black again.
Aizen Taichou. She thought. Why did I always have to say his name? Now I'll never forget it, no matter how much I want to. Well, she went on to herself, now with more determination and confidence. I know for sure that when I wake up, she thought the sentence impatiently, angry that her body was still too weak to move. …When I wake up, I know I'll never say his name that way again. Aizen Taichou… She repeated the words as if the phrase were a curse.
Suddenly, she felt an all too familiar pain stinging her chest where she knew her heart was, like a tangle of thorns. It burned, as always, and she waited for the pain to die away. The seconds ticked by agonizingly and she could hear the blood pulsing throughout her body loudly. Then, it felt as though her air supply was gone again. Hinamori strained to gasp in air but nothing happened. Usually, during these attacks, she could at least breathe, but now she could sense her body getting weaker and weaker.
W-What's happening? She wondered desperately, hoping that somehow, someone could save her and give her an answer. T-This is…worse than all the others… The burning thorns seemed to stab deeper into her heart as if someone were forcing them in until they protruded from the other side.
She was vaguely aware of the boy at her side, and she parted her jaws to cry out to him. But her voice was caught in her throat and she tried to gasp as she felt her heartbeat get slower and slower.
Hitsugaya-kun…
There was nothing else to do but think his name.
She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to, be aware of evil men
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Hitsugaya jumped as he heard the beeping of the IV increase.
He went to Hinamori and placed his hand on her forehead, although he doubted she could feel it or that it actually helped much. He figured that she was just having another one of the vicious tremors that often passed through her. But lately, they had been getting a lot less violent and had only lasted about half the time they did at first.
Hitsugaya emitted cool air onto her body to try and calm her down, which was usually how he helped her fight these spasms off. But this time, his technique seemed to be ineffective, and he felt a small flicker of panic flitter inside of him.
He tried again, attempting to relieve her of the sweat that now covered her pale face. But still, nothing was working as her heart rate got faster and faster. Hitsugaya knew how dangerous that could be and what it could mean, so he began to make his way to the door to call for help. But he stopped in his tracks when Hinamori let out a hard cough that shook her whole body.
Hitsugaya's terror rose with realization; this was no normal tremor if it was violent enough to make her unconscious body cough.
Just as he was about to leave the room, a boy raced through the doorway. It was the boy whom Hitsugaya had often spoke to when he had visited Hinamori, Yamada Hanatarou.
"Yamada! What's happening?" Hitsugaya asked the confused 7th seat member.
"I-I don't know." He replied, racing over to Hinamori's bed. Obviously he had heard the commotion and come to see what was wrong. He glanced at the IV and his eyes widened in horror. He turned back to the injured lieutenant, murmuring a phrase that caused his hands to glow a faint blue. He placed both palms over her heart, trying to heal something that Hitsugaya could not comprehend. He had no idea what he should do, he just stood there and watched as his friend suffered one violent convulsion after another.
"Where's Unohana?" The white haired boy finally asked.
"Sh-She's out treating a reconnaissance team that was attacked!" The panic in his voice told Hitsugaya that this boy had never dealt with something so severe by himself before. "Don't call for anyone else!" He practically read the captain's mind. "More people in here will only be chaos. Let me handle this. I think I can save her."
"You think?" Hitsugaya repeated. But the 4th division member did not seem to hear him as he struggled to exchange the healing blue light into the 5th division's lieutenant's shuddering form.
"Hitsugaya Taichou." Hanatarou glanced up at him with desperate eyes. "Please, I need your help." Without wasting half a second, Hitsugaya was on the other side of the bed. "Please, hold down Hinamori fukuutaichou's shoulders." He instructed. Hitsugaya did as he said and reached down, firmly holding down both of her shoulders as another shiver ripped through her.
Hitsugaya stared down at her. Her face was twisted into one of pure pain and agony, and a small trickle of blood flowed from her mouth under the mask. But no matter how badly he wanted to cry out her name, Hitsugaya kept silent, letting Hanatarou concentrate as his hands sent out the waves of blue light. Hitsugaya's panic slowly began to die away as he heard the beeping of the IV slow, and Hinamori's tense body start to go limp again.
However, the other boy's face clouded over with terror as he heard the beeping slow. "No…" He murmured, his eyes stretched wide in horror. Then, he frantically tried to emit more healing waves into her body. Hitsugaya was puzzled at the other boy's fright.
"Yamada, what's wrong?" Isn't it good that her heart rate's going down again? He wondered.
Hanatarou shook his head and looked up at Hitsugaya with sorrowful eyes.
"I'm loosing her!" He cried.
Hitsugaya froze at his words. Then, he realized that the beeping of the machines was much slower than it normally was. He looked up to see the red zigzags getting smaller and smaller as the beeping slowed even more. He glanced back at Hinamori and could not stop a feeling of rage pulsing through him. Aizen! This is all your fault! He wanted to scream.
But as his eyes rested upon his childhood friend, fading fast and getting weaker with every second, his shout of rage turned into a wail of despair.
"Hinamori!"
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love
Hinamori gasped for breath that did not come as she felt her body shake again.
Her hands clutched at the bed underneath her, yet she was completely unaware of this. She tried to push through the confusing darkness that stretched out before her, feeling that the shadows were what were causing her all this pain. She wanted to scream out for help almost as badly as her lungs screamed out for air. But even in her dream self, she found that she could not speak.
None of the memories were playing in her mind now, it was all just black and lonely; it was as if she were inside the color black itself.
She felt another wave of piercing shards sink into her heart and she wanted to cry out in anguish. But instead she found herself wailing an eerily silent scream that still somehow managed to echo into the depths of nothingness. She could hear the sound of her own heartbeat pounding and bouncing back off the invisible walls of her mind. The pain just got worse and worse with every second that ticked by. Please somebody help me! She shouted in her mind.
More thorns sliced through her like an arsenal of flaming arrows. She fought against them, trying to ignore the burning sensations, but to no avail. There was nothing she could do the way she was now. She was helpless against the violent spasms that rippled through her body, and she could do nothing but lay there and stare blankly into the everlasting darkness.
Gradually, the pain began to get duller and duller and she felt herself becoming more tired, which was something that had not yet happened to her in the time she had been in this condition. It felt nice to be getting tired, it was like a splash of cool water on the flames that lapped at her heart.
Hinamori soon felt herself go limp as she slipped farther and farther into the tiredness that was consuming her. This feels so nice. Its like I've been awake forever and now I can finally rest…
But just as she thought this, she realized what was going on. She could hear that the pounding of her heart was getting slower and softer, and Hinamori knew what was happening to her.
She was not falling asleep; she was dying.
Desperately, the brown-haired girl tried to regain the strength that she had obtained within the past few days to try and keep herself 'awake'. As long as she could sense the darkness around her, and hear the beating of her heart, she knew that she was alive. But soon, she could not even sense the darkness, and it was as if she were deaf. She could not hear anything anymore, and even though she could not exactly sense the darkness, she knew it was gone.
Because now, there was nothing.
Not even black.
Just nothing.
Hinamori felt her mind being drawn toward that barren nothingness, the fire finally burning itself out. She fought against herself with all of her might; longing to find the strength to pull through and one day wake up and see her friends. But she lost to herself as her tired body willingly accepted the blank oblivion.
Now she could rest forever.
Pretty girl…pretty girl
Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out
You can never get him out of your head
It's the way
That he makes you cry
It's the way
That he's in your mind
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Hitsugaya squeezed Hinamori's limp shoulders tighter.
Hinamori! He pleaded silently. Don't die! You can't!
Hanatarou was frantically trying to quicken her heart rate, glancing to the IV and back to his patient. Hitsugaya could tell that he was on the verge of tears, unable to think of what would happen if he did not save the lieutenant. The blue light around his palms faltered slightly as the 4th Squad member tried to maintain its brightness.
"No, please no!" He mumbled anxiously. Then more loudly, he cried, "Hinamori fukuutaichou, please don't die!" His words opposed reality as her heart rate dropped so that there was nothing more on the screen of the IV but a slightly moving line.
Hitsugaya gritted his teeth.
"Damn it!" He roared, unaware of the tears clinging to the corners of his eyes. Hanatarou jumped at looked up at him, still trying to tend to the injured girl's heart. "Aizen you bastard!" The white-haired boy roared as if the former captain were standing there in front of him. "This is all your fault!" He spat with venomous fury. If she hadn't met you, and if you had never existed, Hinamori wouldn't be dying right now!
He wanted to throw his head back and shout to the sky, and then chase after Aizen and hunt him down. You twisted your lies into her mind and made her believe you were an innocent man! She trained herself to the bone and got stronger for you! She did anything you wanted! She nearly died for you and now she is! Then he could no longer keep his words to himself. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" He bellowed, cursing Aizen with everything he was.
Tears spilled onto the floor and soaked the bed sheets, some staining the pale skin of the girl Hitsugaya loved.
Suddenly, the room was filled with an ominous silence.
Hitsugaya felt Hinamori's shoulders go completely limp under his fingers, and Hanatarou suddenly cut off the blue light that was wafting from his hands. He swung his head around in utter dismay and stared in dreadfulness at the IV. It was no longer beeping; instead, it was droning perpetually on the same tone, and only a straight red line ran across the screen.
Hitsugaya felt more tears coming, but he stopped them to look at the other boy, and then down at the girl lying below him.
He knew what this meant.
Hanatarou slowly turned his head back around and met Hitsugaya's cold, aqua gaze with quivering eyes.
His voice was shaky and full of regret as he voiced Hitsugaya's greatest fear in the universe.
"She's dead."
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Love…
A/N: Next chapter, Tomorrow:
The world had stopped turning. Hitsugaya felt fear and pain throb through him and he swayed on his feet. Dead…? He repeated the word over and over in his mind.
"Taichou!" Matsumoto finally burst out. "Please stop this! And what do you mean? What's happened to Hinamori-chan?" Her voice filled with panic, and Hitsugaya knew that he had to tell her.
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