"Forgiveness please!" i am so sorry my SVU muse had left me for quite some time and i hade vowed not to watch any new SVU until i see my brother (he and i spent whole week watching Svu and eating ice cream last time i saw him) and i wanted watch them wiht him, he and i are massive fans, anyway i was sick recently and i was channel surfing when what should come on,so i watched some of the first season and "BOOM!" it's all coming back. so hopefully my next update wont be to long away and i apologise again for making you wait, this is just a chapter to tie you over while i try and remember all the bits and pieces to my story.
Please R&R
Ilsa and Fin walked into the precinct, the other detectives looked up from their desks
"So what did you find out?" Asked Olivia
"That the Reyes daughter is a slut" Ilsa said and she flopped into her chair, letting out a loud sigh
Olivia didn't say anything
"Apparently no one would say what she had done just that she is a sinner"
"Well that narrows it down" Olivia said "Any clues"
"No" Ilsa said leaning forward and spinning in her chair to face Olivia "But I think that everyone is hiding something, including Emily"
"Like what?" Asked Olivia not quite believing what Ilsa was saying
Ilsa shrugged "I don't know but something"
"You said she's a sinner what did she do?" Asked Munch
"Like we can figure that out quickly so many things are considered sins a better questions would be what didn't she do"
"So Emily was beaten and raped because another girl committed a sin?" Asked Elliot "That's stupid"
Ilsa sighed "I never said that I'm just saying maybe they connect" she said linking her finger
"What sin I ask again?" Munch said
Ilsa pursed her lips "Let's see we could go with the main one's Wrath Avarice Sloth Pride Lust Envy and Gluttony though I doubt it will help"
"Why are we talking about the seven deadly sins?" Elliot asked
"Because we've changed topic to what the 'sin' may have been"
"You say it like you don't think she did" Elliot said putting the pen he had been holding on the desk
"I'm not saying she didn't but it depends what she's done to whether I'll think it's a sin or not"
"You don't believe in sins?" Asked Elliot
"Not I just don't believe in some of them, there is a difference" Ilsa said "I dare you to find someone here who hasn't committed some sin"
"You're serious?" he asked
Ilsa nodded her head, a very serious look on her face "You can't say yourself" she said Elliot did not look happy
"Why not?" he asked
"Wraith" she said "rage anger, you do have a bit of a temper Elliot you're out"
Elliot stopped what he was doing and glared at Ilsa
"I'm just saying it like it is honey"
"Ok"
"I won't even tell you what Olivia's done" Ilsa said with a cheeky smile
"I won't go into detail but yeah I have" Said Fin
"And what about me?" Asked Munch
"Honey you've been divorced how many times?"
Munch nodded
"So what about you?" Asked Elliot "Or are you innocent"
Ilsa laughed "Oh I'd say I've done at least every 'deadly' sin once"
"Wrath?" Asked Elliot
"We all get angry sometimes it's inevitable given our job"
Elliot nodded
"Envy?" Asked Fin
"Yes I have wanted for what another person has before"
"Sloth?" Asked Olivia from her desk
Ilsa stretched "haven't you ever just wanted to stay in bed and do nothing?" she asked with a smile
"Gluttony" Fin stated
Ilsa nodded "I have over indulged once or twice"
'Pride?" Asked Munch
"We all feel that sometimes"
"Greed?" Elliot asked
Ilsa nodded, though she did not have a happy look on her face "Sadly yes I've done that one too"
"Lust?" Munch asked with a silly smile
Ilsa smiled "Oh Honey I'm still doing that one, it always was my favourite"
Everyone started to laugh
"OK back to work" Elliot said and gave Ilsa smile "What are we meant to be looking at"
"The Taucher Family, they haven't been to forth coming with information"
"There daughter was attacked and raped" Olivia said
"Shouldn't that make them more inclined to help us catch the person responsible"
Ilsa started typing on her keyboard, scrolling the pages in front of her for anything, but nothing useful had come up yet
"Nothing" Ilsa said "Just some stories about Jonathan but nothing more"
"I thought I recognised the name" Ilsa heard Olivia say
Ilsa spun around and gave Olivia a confused look
"You don't know who she is?"
"Should I?" Asked Ilsa cautiously
"Carrisa if a very well known and very rich woman, a socialite"
"So…." Ilsa said feeling very much a fool for not knowing
"She spends a lot of time raising money for charities, her father was a very wealthy man , left her most of his money when he died"
Ilsa didn't say anything but just started blankly at Olivia
"You've really never heard of her"
Ilsa shook her head "Nope I don't know a lot about the social elite"
"Could that have been reason for the attack?" Elliot asked "She had money and someone wanted it"
"Then why attack Emily?" Ilsa asked "Should we check their financial records?"
"Unless they give us permission we'll need Casey to get us a warrant and I don't think we have enough evidence to prove anything right now"
Ilsa sighed "Fair enough, let's try and find the so dubbed 'sinner' I'll call Natalie and asked where she is"
Ilsa turned and picked up the phone, dialling the number she had been given she went about talking to Natalie.
"Some case" Olivia said
"Yeah, think she can figure it out?" Elliot asked looking over at Ilsa
"She's a smart girl she'll figure something out"
"Her ideas are sometimes outrages" Elliot said looking at Olivia
"Her hearts in the right place and besides she's done good since she joined"
"Yeah and since she's joined she's kept her whole life a secret from us, how can we work with her if we can't trust her"
"Elliot" Olivia sighed "We can trust her if you don't believe her when she says it believe me it might not seem it but we can"
"It's been a year and we've only just found out she had a son, even longer for you" he said in a harsh whisper
"I know I'm not happy she hid that but she has her reasons"
"There is no reason to hide things like that"
"Don't tell her that" Olivia whispered back, looking around to make sure no one was watching or listening in "She'll come up with some reason but the point is she told us know"
"You know what I think?"
Olivia shook her head
"I think she was abused, that's why she's so..."
"Odd" Olivia said, hoping he wasn't going to say anything to harsh about her
"Yeah" he said "Something like that but if she hid that what else is she hiding"
Olivia sighed "I don't know but if we push her she might I don't know shut everyone out"
"And she hasn't done that already?" he asked giving her a very serious look
"Even worse I don't know what she's been through but it can't be anything good"
"She's not at home; Mum doesn't know where she is but will call when she comes back" Ilsa sighed as she hung the phone up and rubbed her eyes, she let out a low groan as she leant back in her chair
"Maybe we should ask Emily about her friend, she has to know something"
"You want to go back and ask her?" Asked Fin
"It can wait till tomorrow I don't think she'll talk to us again right now"
Everyone was quiet thinking of something to do about the case, it was a hard one and so far they hadn't gotten a lot of evidence or suspects.
Ilsa got up and walked to make a cup of coffee, she was adding some sugar when she saw Melinda walked into the room
"Hey" Said Ilsa before taking a drink
"Can I talk to you?" Asked Melinda before waiting for her to answer the doctor pulled Ilsa out of the squad room and into the hallway
"What the hell happened" Melinda asked as soon as they had stopped
"You dragged me out" Ilsa said
"I looked through you're file"
"Oh…" Ilsa said softly
"You were in the hospital when you found out you were pregnant"
"Yeah" Ilsa said trying to avoid the Doctors gaze, sipping from her cup
"These injuries are not normal what happened?"
Ilsa remained silent
"You had broken bones, internal bleeding and a dislocated hip now what happened, after this you found out that you were pregnant so it begs the questions were you-"
"Stop please" Said Ilsa softly "This is why I didn't want people to know about my son because they ask how I got pregnant then they find out about this and I don't like to talk about it"
"So you were" Melinda let the question hand
Ilsa didn't move "I don't talk about it, no one listened to me when it happened so I just don't say anything but I love my son that s the important part"
Melinda rubbed her hand up Ilsa's arm "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you"
"You're the only person who knows besides Cragen please don't tell them"
"You don't think they'll accept you if they knew?" The doctor asked
"I don't know but I did a lot of bad stuff and I don't want people hating me for these things and I don't like to be consistently reminded about it" she sighed
"Aren't you reminded when you see your son?"
Ilsa jaw went stiff and she had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself the anger on her face was clear as day "When I look at Josh I see myself, my mother hell I see Sam more then…"
"Who? Who hurt you?"
"It doesn't matter now it's to late to do anything and I can't change what happened even if I wanted too, let's just leave it at that"
"What happened to you to make you like this?" Melinda asked in a kind voice "that you don't want to let people in and you'd rather bottle up everything rather then get help you'd rather live your life alone then let people get to know you"
Ilsa's lower lip started to quiver "I was a victim and I got tired of wanting people to listen so after a while I stopped trying, it's always been someone who said they cared that hurt me…"
Melinda's heart sank at hearing this that this young woman gave up on finding any kind of help and was left to wallow in the feelings that were left behind
"What about know you could get some help"
Ilsa smiled, a sad smile and shrugged "It's to late know and I'm to tired to talk about it"
Ilsa walked slowly back into the squad room and sat at her desk, setting her coffee aside she didn't feel like drinking it anymore.
"Hey Melinda" Called Munch as he saw her turn to leave
"Hello Munch" she said with a smile, quickly looking over at Ilsa bent over her desk, they way she sat with her head hung low showed she was deep in thought
"What are you doing here?" he Asked walking closer a friendly smile on his face
"I came by to talk to Ilsa that's all" She said started to walk off "I'd love to stay and chat but I have to get back to work" she called back to him.
Munch shrugged in and walked over to Ilsa
"What did Warner want to talk to you about?" he asked
Ilsa turned her head slowly and shrugged "Oh uh nothing"
"You ok?" he asked looking at her, seeing the sad look on her face
She put on a smile "yeah hun I'm fine now let's get back to work and catch our bad guy"
***
Ilsa sighed and leant back in her chair running her fingers through her hair she let out a sigh, she looked down at the papers on her desk and just sat staring at them she had been looking at them all day trying to figure out the case she had come up with several theories but they wouldn't do any good without evidence to back them up, so far they had the scene, what little they could get there, a reluctant victim and people who would be able to help hiding everything, One person that looked good for it was Carl but Ilsa just didn't think he did it, she just didn't feel it her gut was telling her that it was someone else, now it was about figuring who it was and why they would do such a horrible thing.
After another five minutes of staring Ilsa decided to give her eyes a rest and stretch her legs, a walk to get a drink should do both nicely she thought, pulling out her chair she slowly made her way across to the room and grabbed a cup filling it with some water she drank it quickly, re filling it she head to her desk and sat down again, the papers in front of her still taunting her.
"Ilsa"
Ilsa started at the paper still trying to see something she may have missed, or most likely she had missed
"Ilsa?"
Ilsa ran her hand over her eyes and let out a low growl
"Ilsa" the voice said louder this time
Ilsa snapped to attention and looked up to see Don standing next to her desk
"You ok?"
Ilsa nodded and smiled "Just trying to figure out the case"
Don smiled and looked at the time on her computer it was almost six"Get out of here I doubt anything is going to change tonight" he said with a smile "Get out of here"
Ilsa smiled and looked back at the work laid out in front of her she opened her mouth but was cut of quickly
"No buts get out of here and I'll see you tomorrow" Don said as he started to walk away
Ilsa went to speak again to protest
"That's an order" he said
Ilsa shook her head but complied not want to disobey an order she collected her jacket and started to pack up the files 'he ordered me to go didn't say anything about taking the work with me' she thought with a sly smile.
"You going home?" Asked Olivia who was packing her own things as well
"Going to go home drop of some stuff change and then I'm going out"
"No Josh tonight?" Olivia asked
Ilsa's head snapped to make sure no one else was in the room she glared at Olivia though it only lasted a few second before her smile came back
"He's at a mates place so I'm going to go and have fun" Ilsa walked out the door "Feel free to join Liv!" she called back
Olivia looked to see if her friends were back in the room, sure enough there was Munch and Fin Elliot must have either gone home or would be back soon
"Hey you guys doing anything tonight?" Olivia asked
"No nothing special why?" asked Fin
"Good you can come out with me"
"Where?" Asked Munch slightly sceptical
"I'm taking you to see a show" she said as she headed off to find Elliot, while she was looking for him she decided to invite Casey to, Casey and Ilsa seemed to be getting along…they still had heated arguments about cases and at times it seemed like it could very well get physical but that was just the nature of their friendship.
***
"So why are we here?" Asked Munch
"I told you I wanted to show you something" Olivia said she and Casey looked at each other and smiled
They were about to walk in when the men were stopped
"ID" Said the bouncer a rather large African man
They did what they were asked though confused about why they had to do it anyway
Olivia and Casey reached out to hand their ID to the bouncers but were waved off
"Don't we have to show them?" Asked Olivia
"You don't forget ladies as beautiful as you just go in" he said with a wink
"I don't get why we had to give them ID" Said Munch
"Oh great I hear a conspiracy theory coming on" Fin groaned as they found a table to sit at
A techno song started to blare out of the speakers
"Please don't tell me 'this' is what were listening or all night" Munch said "music has degraded since my day"
Olivia and Casey laughed "Don't worry Munch something better will come on soon"
He rolled his eyes as he listen to the music play
They ordered there drinks and watched on stage as people began running back and forth
"What's going on?" Asked Elliot
"You'll see" Said Olivia she and Casey both knew what was coming next
And it didn't take long for the music to change and they watched the stage, the men waiting to see whatever was about to happen
She didn't miss her queue coming out on stage and singing long to the music that was playing.
Their jaws dropped
"Is that Ilsa?" Asked Elliot
Olivia nodded "She's different outside of work isn't she"
"I'll say" Said Fin watching as she pranced around the stage
"What's she singing?" Asked Munch
"I think it's called 'Make you happy'" Said Casey
They men couldn't take their eyes off her, it was so strange to see her care free and happy, if she had noticed them she was doing a good job of pretending she didn't Ilsa has scarcely look in their direction.
As the beats of the music slowly faded away the people started to clap and cheer
Ilsa bowed and walked of stage, a smile was plastered across her face.
"Wow…she's not that bad" Fin said
"She's not great" Said Munch "But she's still good"
"Aw such nice compliments"
They turned to see Ilsa standing behind them smiling "So" she said with a fake lisp "What ya doing?"
"We were admiring your dancing and singing" Said Munch taking a drink
"Yeah" Ilsa said "I'm sure it was my 'singing' you were paying attention to" she said with a cheeky smile "Did you enjoy it at least?" she asked
"It's different" Eliot said he hadn't quite decided if he liked it or not "So it's a karaoke bar?" he asked
Ilsa laughed "Not quite, it's not really karaoke people come and drink have fun and if they want to and are aloud to, they can sing it's strange but I like it"
"Really whys that?" asked Munch
"Free drinks" she said taking his beer and drinking some of it
"We get free drinks?" he asked taking his glass back
Ilsa shook her head and started popping slightly to the music playing in the background "Maybe I can pull some strings and get you half price" she said
Stretching Ilsa planted herself in Casey's lap
"Do you mind?" Casey asked
"There aren't any seats left" Ilsa whined
"Get off me your heavy" Casey said shoving Ilsa of her
"Gasp" Ilsa said covering her mouth "Are you calling me fat?" she asked feigning hurt
"What no I was just saying-"Casey stammered
"IS this because I'm bigger then you" Ilsa accused
"Ilsa I'm taller then you" Casey pointed out
"I didn't say height wise sweetie"
"Ilsa your not fat" Said Olivia
Ilsa gave them a shocked looked and pointed to Casey "See what you started" she glared
"What?" Asked Casey getting confused "I never called you fat"
Ilsa chuckled "I was only kidding guys learn to lighten up" she said grabbing a chair from a nearby table and sitting down
"Hey what's up with the ID thing?" Asked Munch "Are we being watched"
"I think a few of us are being checked out but that's about it" she said leaning closer
Munch shook his head
"Don't knock the ID 'thingy' as you call it I came up with it"
"Really?" Asked Olivia
"Yeah it's a scanner you place the ID in the computer stores the details in a secure location and it'll let us know if the ID is out of date or fake"
"Some fake ID's are really good though"
"True the system isn't great we're still working on it, I didn't design the system I just came up with the basic idea" Ilsa said as she grabbed a chair from am empty table near by
"Hey you" Said a man as he walked up behind Ilsa, he was tall, short blond hair
"Oh hey sweetie what's up?" she asked craning her neck to see him
"People are complaining that no one is 'entertaining' them, think you can help out?"
Ilsa rolled her eyes "oh right guys this is Sam" Ilsa said motioning to the people around the table
"Guys this is my best friend Sam"
The man waved
"You're the guy from the other night" Casey said
"Probably I do own this place"
"If we know Ilsa does that mean we get free drinks?" Joked Olivia
"Well maybe for you honey but that's about it"
"All ways the charmer aren't you Sam" She said with a smile
"It's nice to see you Olivia; I hope your doing well"
"As well as I can do while baby sitting Ilsa"
Ilsa's mouth hung open "At least have the decency to talk about me when I'm NOT sitting here" she pouted.
"So" he said with big eyes "Will you please perform for me"
"No" Ilsa said turning her nose up "Shun"
Sam got closer and placed his head on her shoulder "please" he begged
She sighed "The things I do for you"
"Thank you!" Sam exclaimed as he jumped "We've got some requests" he added handing Ilsa a piece of paper.
Ilsa reluctantly made it to the stage, a loud scoff echoed through the building "Can I assume a man wanted this song" she said as Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl' started playing.
As she finished she sighed "Since when do we do requests!" she yelled at Sam
The crowd started to laugh as Ilsa rolled her eyes.
"Well I like this next artist" she said as the music started to play, she sauntered into the crowd as Vanessa Amorosi's 'Touch me' played
Ilsa was in a playful mood even thought to others it seemed like she was angry, she pulled Casey from her chair and started to dance with her
Casey looked surprised as she was pulled roughly from her seat "No I don't want to!" she protested but it was pointless Ilsa wasn't going to take no for an answer.
As it finished Ilsa left the stage and found Sam at the bar "No more it's getting late" she said
He smiled his charming smile "Ok why don't you head home, but thank you for some reason everyone likes you"
"It's the fact that I rub up against them when i dance" she said with a silly grin on her face
"Don't say that it might be true" he teased
Ilsa waved her way back to her friends seeing them finish off another round of drinks
"Dear god did you leave any drinks for the other people" she said laughing
"Yes" Said Elliot "Just not a lot"
Ilsa shook her head and sat down at the chair she had stolen earlier that night "I'm packing it in guys, it's getting late"
Olivia blinked a few times then looked at her watch "yeah me too"
"There are cabs out the front for you guys" Ilsa said with a smile "It's another service we offer at the club for those who are a little to intoxicated to drive home"
"I'm no drunk" claimed Olivia
"Me either" Said Fin and Elliot
"I believe you Fin why not drive Elliot home, Munch you wanna take Liv?" she asked
Fin shrugged "Yeah sure, later" he said as he got up and left, Elliot close behind him
"Ok off we go" Said Munch as he and Olivia left the room
Ilsa smiled "Alright your turn walk, cab or I'll drive you"
Casey smiled, she had had a lot to drink that night, her mind was a little fuzzy "Think you can drive?"
Ilsa shook her head "I'm sure if I don't you'll be face down on the floor before you reach the exit" she teased, getting up she gently pulled Casey to her feet "Lets go hun" she said.
***
Ilsa slowly drove to Casey's place making the trip with as little bumps as she could, trying not to make Casey sick. They pulled up and the car let out a soft screech at it stopped
"Ok" Ilsa said as she got out and got Casey out of the drivers seat "Lets go" Ilsa said
She didn't have a lot of trouble hauling Casey to her front door.
Casey reached into her bag to find her keys, having difficulty in doing so, finally finding them she opened the door.
"Hope you had fun Casey" Ilsa said with her patented smile
"Yeah" Casey said not looking at Ilsa
"You ok?" Ilsa asked placing her hand on Casey's shoulder "Not feeling too good?"
"No…um…fine I just…" Casey stammered
"What?" Ilsa asked concern on her face.
In a quick move Casey pulled Ilsa inside her apartment, slamming the door shut Ilsa found herself propped up against Casey's front door. Shocked that she had been dragged into the room and thrown up against the door, this kind of things only happened to her in her dreams.
Casey pushed into Ilsa and brought their mouths together, Ilsa was shocked but couldn't move, she had thought about something like this but it was just a crazy dream right?...right? Apparently dreams can come true because Casey started to pull Ilsa's jacket off.
Breaking the kiss for a second Casey hissed "Bedroom know!"
Ilsa's mind was on auto pilot as she tried to figure out what was happening.
Ilsa landed with a soft 'oof' as she was pushing onto the mattress, she had barely gotten her arms out of her jacket before Casey was back on her
"Casey we can't" she said quickly
"Why?" Casey asked as she leant over her friend
"Because your drunk" Ilsa said trying to think of every reason she had that they shouldn't let this get any further.
"So" Casey whispered, she smiled and leant closer, her breath hot against Ilsa's neck "It'll be our little secret"
Ilsa froze and just about threw Casey of off her
"What?" a confused Casey Novak asked "What's wrong?"
"I can't" Ilsa said her voice tight and croaky "I'm sorry Casey I have to go" Ilsa practically fell over as she scrambled off the bed. Hitting the floor with a loud thump got up and flew out the door the bang echoed through the quiet apartment
Casey knelt on her bed, her face flushed, and her breathing heavy hurt and confused what had she done wrong? maybe drinking so much to work up the courage wasn't such a good idea but did Ilsa really have to 'throw' her off a simple 'Stop' would have don't the trick. Casey got changed and ready for bed dreading the morning to come, she closed her eyes, maybe it was the alcohol but Ilsa's reaction just made her want to cry or maybe it was just the way Ilsa had rejected her that had her so upset.
Ilsa had he back pressed against Casey's door as she caught her breath her face was pale and her breaths coming in ragged gulps, she was shaking, her mind racing 'why had Casey done that!' she thought a simple 'would you like to go out sometime' would have sufficed Ilsa liked her enough to want to say yes to that!, not jumping her in a alcohol induced frenzy, why did she have to whisper in her ear. Remembering those words sent chills down her down her very soul.
She sniffed begging, praying that she wouldn't break down here, she could find something at home to get rid of the urge. She ran more then ran, if someone had seen they would have sworn it was a blur of colours. Reaching for her keys Ilsa saw how bad it was, the keys jingled as she tried to open the door, even using both hands didn't help she was to upset, slamming her fist against the car she let out a frustrated groan. Taking a deep breath she managed to control the shaking long enough to open the door and get in.
She drove home and went straight to her secret stash, she would have to deal with it later, but for now a smoke was what she needed to calm down and get to sleep, the rest could wait until the morning…oh boy
I am sleep deprived and this is what came out as i tried to get something up for those of you reading hope you like. More to come!
Please R&R thank yooooou :)