5.

Even though Alice had warned me, I was shocked at how easy it was to run. I saw the trees whiz by me as Edward and Emmett led, Alice still holding my hand and running beside me, and Jasper in the back. I heard no sound from underneath any of our feet, though I waited for the snapping of twigs or the crunching of leaves. Alice was still smiling at me, encouraging me on.

I watched Edward and Emmett as they seemed to be scanning to surroundings. Alice told me they were looking for humans. She explained how vampires let their instincts rule while hunting, making it harder to not go after humans when the smell of their blood was near.

"You'll see, once you start, it will be very easy."

"Was it hard for all of you to not drink… human blood at first?" I asked the question reluctantly. Alice smiled at me again.

"Carlisle was the first of our group and he was the one who developed the idea of the 'vegetarian vampire'." I heard Emmett chuckle. "Edward came next, being raised with that idea, along with Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. Oh, and Bella, though she came much later."

"And what about you and Jasper?"

Alice looked back at Jasper, who was smiling at her. "Jasper and I are the only ones who were not turned by Carlisle. Well, Bella was turned by Edward, but anyways." She seemed distracted for a moment, as if remembering something, then continued. "I met Jasper and we traveled together to meet the Cullens."

"And you stayed with them?"

Alice nodded. "We fell in love with the family." Alice flashed a smile to no one in particular, probably recalling when they had first met the Cullens.

"Although we're vampires, we try to behave in the best way possible." It was Edward who spoke. "We have only turned those who are dying, and as you know, we don't murder humans."

I recalled something that had been mentioned before. "So you met Bella while she was still human?"

Edward smiled warmly. "Yes. And I fell in love with her."

How interesting, I though and heard Edward chuckle softly in reply. "But wasn't it hard to not… harm her?"

"Yes, very. And once you get to know Bella, you will find that she is very… demanding at times. When she wants something, she won't give up until she gets it. She wanted a lot of things from me that I was afraid to give her because I knew if I lost control, I could kill her."

"But you said you only turn those who are dying? Why was Bella dying?"

"Since Renesme was half-vampire, half-human, she developed very fast inside Bella, and when she was born," Edward stopped speaking as his voice broke and I thought I detected a shimmer in his eyes as if he were crying. But no tears spilled and he continued in a soft voice, "Bella's spine was broken as Renesme struggled to get out."

All I could manage was an "Oh". My heart ached for the pain I saw in Edward's face. I could only imagine how terrible it must have been.

Edward heard my thoughts and whispered a thank you. "It was the hardest thing in the world."

"But she wanted to be a vampire?"

"Yes, ever since she had met me, she begged for me to change her, though I always refused. I would never take anyone's life from them. She was only seventeen."

I nodded, because I understood.

"She's the only one of us who had time to prepare herself mentally for this life," Alice whispered. Then after a pause, she said a little louder, "A lot of us fared a lot worse than you. You're doing remarkably well." Again she smiled and I recalled Dr. Cullen's musings from before about my control.

I nodded my head in thanks, though I did not really feel it was a compliment. "Does the longing for human blood ever go away?"

"No, but you learn to ignore it. Some people smell better than others, but with years of practice, you can learn to control your instincts."

Jasper spoke up now, and I realized I had nearly forgotten he was there. "Carlisle has worked in hospitals for centuries. He handles everything very well. You would never suspect anything."

"He doesn't find it hard?"

"No. He just wants to help people and he finds comfort in his work."

"Huh."

By now we were very far away from the house. We came upon a little clearing in the woods and stopped. Edward turned to Alice. "You and Jasper stay here while Emmett and I make sure this area is safe." And with that, he and Emmett were gone, running at amazing speeds into the forest around us.

I checked my breathing. "I'm not even tired!" I uttered in amazement, mostly to myself, though of course Alice heard me.

"Nope. You could run for miles and not get tired." Alice winked at me. "Amazing, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Truly. If I live a hundred years, I don't think I'll ever fully comprehend all this."

Alice and Jasper both laughed in clear, melodic tones. "You'll live much longer than that!" said Alice in an excited voice.

I smiled at her. She was fast becoming a good friend and I felt at ease talking to her. I almost told her this but realized Jasper was there, which made me a little embarrassed, though I didn't know why.

We didn't say anything for a moment until Alice asked me in a gentle voice, "Did it hurt very much?"

I looked at her, puzzled. "What?"

"The…process. When Edward changed Bella, he found it helped to inject morphine into the blood first and then put the venom directly into the heart." I recalled the stabbing pain I had felt those first few minutes of my transformation at the hospital. "But Carlisle said your heart was not beating very hard and so the morphine didn't distribute as fast." And then she smiled a little. "Plus Bella said it didn't hurt at all, though I have a feeling she just said that to make Edward worry less."

I closed my eyes and tried to remember what it had felt like. I knew the feeling was beyond description, though quickly realizing Alice had gone through the same thing. "Yes, it was terribly painful. I didn't know what was happening to me, which made it even scarier."

Alice nodded.

I looked at Jasper with a questioning look. "Since Jasper can… change people's moods, can't he be there during the process and make the person feel at ease?"

Alice's eyes opened wide and Jasper frowned, as if wishing he had thought of that. "Maybe," Alice piped up excitedly. "We never thought of that. If Carlisle did he never shared the idea with us."

I was still watching Jasper. "Would it be very horrible, feeling their pain and anxiety?"

He half-shrugged. "I'm not sure. I went through it myself so I know what it's like but maybe knowing someone else was in pain…" He trailed off.

"Hmm," I agreed.

At that moment, Edward and Emmett sprinted back into the clearing and nodded at Alice and Jasper. "All is clear," said Edward, smiling at me. "Are you ready?"

I let out a long sigh, looking up at the heavens as if asking for help. "I suppose," I finally said, looking down and ahead of me.

"You'll do great," Alice whispered encouragingly.

"How should I start?"

Edward walked closer to me and told me to close my eyes. "What do you smell?"

I took a cautionary sniff at the air, waiting for some bad aroma to hit me. But I smelled nothing, except… what was that? Blood, but not human.

"I smell blood, some sort of animal."

"Now listen closely. Can you tell what kind it is?"

I tuned in to the sounds around me and pointed to where the sound of the animals eating was coming from. With a frown I said, "Deer?"

Edward nodded. "Five, one for each of us."

This inspired an idea inside of me. "Can I watch you guys do it first? Maybe then it'll be easier."

"Sure thing," replied Emmett. He looked like a puffed up peacock as he stuck his chest out. Then he winked at me. "The master will show you how it's done."

Jasper and Edward chuckled, while Alice rolled her eyes. "Men," she said under her breath.

Emmett just laughed and walked off toward the direction I had pointed in. Edward and Jasper followed with Alice and I trailing behind. "I'll stay with you so you don't get too scared," she whispered to me.

"Is it scary to watch?" I said with an edge in my voice.

Alice laughed. "I'm not sure. I guess it really just depends on the person. But I think you'll do fine."

"You can see that?"

"Yes."

I felt reassured by this, though I still didn't know what to think of all these 'gifts'. When we got very close to the deer, the boys crouched down to attack. They seemed to be listening, and then, in a flash, they were off. Alice and I followed but stayed a safe enough distance away once they reached the deer. Emmett caught the biggest one and wrestled it to the ground. I winced when he put his mouth to the deer's neck with fangs exposed; there was a sick crunching noise as the neck broke and then a soft gushing sound. I could smell the blood now and I felt myself growing excited. The burning in my throat came back with more intensity. I couldn't stop anymore and so I launched myself at one of the deer who hadn't had time to react. My body slammed into the soft, warm skin and we toppled over each other, rolling in the leaves. I had my arms around its neck as Alice shouted instructions and tips at me. I climbed on top of the deer and pinned it to the ground. And then, for a fraction of a second, I stopped to consider what I was doing. But my instinct took over as, with teeth barred, I aimed my mouth for its throat. As my teeth ripped apart the skin and sunk into the vein, a sweet flavor poured into my mouth and eased my burning. "Ah," I moaned, contended. I drained the deer quickly and then stood, looking for more. I saw that Edward and Jasper had finished and were watching me, while Emmett was sucking dry the fifth deer. Alice clapped her hands as she skipped gracefully to my side. "Oh, you did so well." I barely glanced at her. I had caught the scent of another animal and was already running toward it. Edward followed me and together we found three mountain lions. I leaped onto the biggest one and proceeded much like I had with the deer. Soon the lion was empty of all blood, and as I stood again, I realized that the burning in my throat was almost gone. I mumbled happily to myself, patting my belly. The three others found us and Alice complimented me on my gracefulness. As the frenzied feeling began to leave me, I responded to her.

"I would hope I was graceful. I was a dancer." I smiled at her softly.

"Oh, you dance?" Alice seemed extremely excited by this fact. "Oh, you must teach me!" She skipped around me, clapping her hands. She reminded me of a little girl who had just been told she was going to Disney World.

I laughed and was surprised at how much it sounded like bells. "Of course! I would love to." Then I looked around self-consciously and added with a small voice, "And anyone else who wants to learn, of course."

Alice's head was bobbing up and down, her cropped hair fluttering around. "What styles do you dance in?"

"Anything really. I've done a little of it all, but I was trained in ballet and contemporary."

"Ooh," she whispered in wonder.

Interrupting Alice's little party, Edward asked me if I was full enough. "Yes, I think so."

And so we headed back to the house, Alice chatting eagerly, asking me questions about my dancing.

"Where did you train?"

"In New York City, actually. My grandmother had a friend whose daughter owned a great school there. I got a discounted price."

"When did you start?"

"I've been dancing since I could walk, I suppose, though I started taking lessons when I turned four. My mother was a professional salsa dancer and she insisted on enrolling me in classes as soon as possible."

We chattered on together like that until we reached the house. Jasper and Emmett went on their way while Edward went to find Bella and Alice dragged me to find Esme. She was so excited she could barely speak when we finally found her.

"Esme! You will never believe… Allisa dances… and she'll teach me!"

Esme smiled at me sweetly. While waiting for Alice to calm down, she asked me how the hunting went.

"Good, I suppose. You were right, it did come naturally."

Esme smiled and then glanced at Alice. "What is it now that you were saying, Alice?"

"Oh, Esme!" Alice cried out, grabbing her poor mother's arms. "Can we build a dance studio here? I want Allisa to teach me how to dance!"

Esme laughed. "Well, I suppose that would be fun. We can build it out back near Edward's place."

Alice nodded vigorously. "Yes! Oh, you've just made me the happiest person alive, both of you!" She took my hand and shook it enthusiastically, then skipped off, probably to share the good news with everyone else.

Esme smiled at me again. "I have something for you," she said in a soft voice. Then she took my hand and led me down the hall. "We cleaned out Edward's old room for you and redid it. I hope you'll like it." She looked back at me, "Alice says you'll love it," and winked.

"Well, then I suppose I'll love it," I said, smiling in return. "But where will Edward be staying?"

"We built him and Bella a little cottage in the woods after their marriage."

I smiled at her. And then my head snapped back when I saw something mounted on the wall that surprised me. "What the…?"

Esme stopped to look where I was looking. "Oh, yes. Edward thinks it's ironic."

It was a huge wooden cross that had caught my attention. It hung on the wall before the stairs. "But isn't that how people keep vampires away?"

Esme laughed. "No, that's just a silly myth to reassure people, same as the garlic one. It just smells terrible, but it wouldn't stop a vampire."

"But why do you have it?"

"It belonged to Carlisle's father." She ran her hand along the smooth front of the cross. "He carved it by himself."

"Wow," was all I could manage as I craned my neck to see the top of it. It hung only a few inches off the ground and looked like it nearly touched the ceiling. "How old is it?"

"It was made around the early sixteen-thirties. We're not exactly sure when because Carlisle's memories are…fuzzy."

I looked back at her. "So human memories are unclear for everyone?"

"Yes."

We stood for a few seconds longer, looking up at the cross, until Esme softly tugged at my hand and led me up the stairs to the third floor.

She opened a door at the end of the hall and let me walk in. I let out a small gasp. It was the perfect room for me. The walls were a light green, except for the two walls that were made of glass facing the woods, with bleached wood bookcases against one wall and an entertainment system with a TV and stereo against another. There was an off-white couch with little red flowers sitting in the middle of the room with a yellow throw over it.

"It's perfect!" I turned to look at Esme, thanking her with my eyes. When I turned back to look over the room once more, I noticed something was missing. "There's no bed in here."

Esme laughed softly. "We don't sleep."

I raised my eyebrow as I turned back to look at her. "Don't or can't?"

"Can't." She shrugged. "I suppose there's no need."

I walked to the end of the room where there was a door. I pulled it open and what I saw nearly took my breath away. More clothes than I had ever seen in my life lined the walls of a huge walk-in closet. I looked through the clothes, noticing the brands were all top of the line fashion. I was overwhelmed.

"Alice thought you should be well supplied," Esme said from behind me with a giggle. "She's very insistent that we all look our best at all times."

"I guess that means no more sweatpants for me," I turned to her and winked.

"Well, Bella is defiant and she wears them, though I think it kind of hurts Alice's feelings."

I looked over all the clothes again. "Kind of?" I asked skeptically.

Esme laughed again.

Closing the closet doors behind me, I sat down on the couch and looked around the room, taking everything in. Esme came to sit beside me, taking my hand in both of hers. We sat silent for a long time, both comfortable in each other's presence. She was the closest one to me in age. Finally, she broke the silence. She stood and took a small box down from the bookshelf and placed it in my lap. "Carlisle knew you would want these. He added a few things of his own, I hope you don't mind." She became quite, looking out the window. When she looked back at me, she was smiling like always. "I've been waiting for someone like you, close to my own age, whom I can consider a good friend. I know I've found one in you."

I smiled fully at her. "I'm so glad. I feel the same way."

Then she nodded. "Well, I'll leave you now. You can come find me once you've looked through the box, if you'd like to talk." Something flashed through her eyes and was gone again, but I felt the hesitation when she added, "I lost my baby too." And then she was gone.