…And in the Third Hour…

Lily sat in the bathroom for more than half an hour, trying to find something to do so that she wouldn't have to go back out in her room. Because out in her room were what she thought of as the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Locking them all in the room (she still wasn't sure if this had been on purpose or not. She was leaning towards not.) was undoubtedly the stupidest thing they had ever done. And that was really saying something.

Sighing in boredom, she stood up and walked out of the bathroom. She grabbed a book from her trunk and she sat cross legged on her bed and determinedly didn't look in any of their directions.

On the other side of the room, everyone else was just as bored as Lily was. Sirius, who was stretched out on Debbie's bed, had pulled the handcuffs back out of his pocket and was swinging them around on his finger, Peter was gazing out of the window, still not knowing that he had drawings all over his face. Remus was picking at a rug on the floor and James was on his knees in front of the door, trying to somehow break the hinges with no tools.

Unnecessary to say, they were all incredibly bored. The silence in the room was ringing in their ears only punctuated by the sound of James banging something on the door hinge every once in a while.

Sirius was ready to scream. He had never gone this long without talking. Unless he was asleep that is. Dropping the handcuffs, he turned his head to Peter on the window sill.

"This is boring," he stated.

Peter nodded idly, not really seeming to care.

"I agree, if someone doesn't say something, I'm going to lose my mind," Remus placed both hands to his temples.

Everyone fell silent again. James gave up on the door and came over to sit on the floor next to Remus.

"Let's do something," Sirius sat up on the bed, "let's play a game."

This seemed to snap Peter out of it and he turned to face the others. Lily simply ignored them all and continued on with her book. She would be damned if they tried to suck her into having fun with them. She had never had any with them before and she wasn't going to start now.

"What game?" James asked.

Sirius thought for a moment. "Would you rather."

Everyone (except for Lily) shrugged. Whatever, at least it was something to do.

Grinning gleefully, Sirius started off the game. "Ok, if you were a girl, and you had to make love to a dude-"

This was met with many protests from the other boys but was ignored by Sirius. Lily lifted her gaze from her book with an eyebrow raised.

"—would you rather do it with Snape, Flitwick, or…Hagrid?"

Lily hid her snort in her book as the boy's protests got louder.

"Padfoot, you're sick!" Remus said.

It wasn't like that was entirely untrue, but Sirius knew that they came up with far worse questions than that before. He thought he had cleaned it up quite a bit for Lily.

After their protests had died down, Sirius asked this disgusting question again.

Remus shrugged. "That's…that's quite the selection. But I'm gonna have to say…" Lily looked back up from her book to hear this answer, "Um…well come on, Snape is Snape, so NO to that. I'd be afraid that Hagrid would just hurt, so I'm gonna have to go with Flitwick."

James and Peter both nodded in agreement and stated this answer as their own too.

"Ok," Sirius nodded, "Your turn Remus."

After thinking for a moment, Remus settled his gaze on Sirius. "Ok, this is for you, Sirius," he grinned mischievously, "Would you rather be a great wizard, be a great quidditch player and live in this world and completely give up sex forever," Sirius winced, "OR, would you rather be one hundred percent muggle, never cast a single spell again, but…get all the great booty you want whenever you want?"

Sirius stared at him. The other boys were snickering and Lily had gone back to her book. Boys were gross.

"How…How great is the booty?" Sirius asked him.

Over on the bed, Lily rolled her eyes.

Shrugging, Remus said, "I don't know…the best you can possibly imagine."

After thinking it over for all of two seconds, Sirius declared, "I'm going with the booty!"

Lily once again lifted her gaze from her book to stare at him. What an idiot. There was no point in trying to read anymore, their game was getting so ridiculous. She flung the book back into her trunk and walked over to sit next to Peter on the window seal.

"Lily, would you rather lick a hippogriff or a blast ended screwt?" Peter asked her.

Lily stared at him. "What…? Why am I licking them?"

"Its part of the game, pick."

"I don't know…a hippogriff," she said randomly.

"Your turn," Peter told her.

Oh great, what was she supposed to say now? She'd never played this game before. Then again, it could be fun…

"Ok, Remus, this is for you." Remus waited for his question with a worried look on his face. "If you had to punch James or Sirius, who would you chose?"

Remus and Peter snorted while James and Sirius gaped at her.

Remus didn't even take any time to think about it, instead blurting out, "Sirius. Definitely Sirius."

They all had a good laugh over that one except for Sirius who was still gaping, but now directed it at Remus.

"WHY?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know…you just…you know…"

Sirius crossed his arms. "Well…just so you know, I would hit you too!"

"Ok, this is for everyone," James said while trying to keep a straight face, "if you had to get a stupid tattoo would you rather it be of a treacle tart, um, Madam Hooch, or…I don't know…the Hogwarts Express?"

Lily snorted into her hand at the absurdity of the question. The image of James with a tattoo of a treacle tart on his bicep was ridiculous.

"I would get a big Hogwarts Express and make it look like it was coming out of my chest," Sirius said this as though he liked the idea.

"What's wrong with Madam Hooch?" Peter asked, looking confused. "I always thought she was handsome woman."

No one had anything to say back to this proclamation.

"I think I'll get the treacle tart," Remus said, "and put it somewhere that no one could ever see."

A disgusted look crossed Sirius's face as he heard this. "Whoa, Moony, that's just gross."

Remus stared at him. "I meant my like my armpit or something."

"Yeah," Lily nodded, "I think I'm gonna go with the treacle tart also."

"And what do you mean, you'd hit me?" Sirius snapped at Remus out of no where.

They all groaned at this. Well, Lily thought, the fun was over. That hadn't lasted long. Peter went back to staring out of the window, James went back to the door, and Lily went back to her book. They tried their best to drown out Remus and Sirius who were now arguing loudly, but it was kind of impossible.

"—and we wouldn't be here if it weren't for you!" Remus was yelling.

"WHAT?!" Sirius shrieked while glancing nervously over at Lily. "Moony be honest now…"

Remus glared at him. "I am! Don't you remember-"

Flashback

Five hours before all of this started, Remus was innocently walking down to the common room from his dormitory. It was unnecessary to say that Remus was a good boy. He never did anything wrong. He would never intentionally lock anyone in a room with anyone else for any reason at all.

That's right. Because Remus was good. Always good.

But once Saint Remus entered the common room, he was called over to the very evil Sirius who was sitting in an armchair.

"Look what I have, Remus!" Sirius cackled evilly and showed a jar of magical twenty four hour superglue to Remus.

Remus straightened his halo and looked nervously at Sirius. "What are you going to do with that?"

End Flashback

"-and then you said that you were going to lock Lily and James in here!" Remus finished his story.

Everyone was staring at him now. Peter was shaking with laughter, Lily was rolling her eyes, and Sirius was shaking his head.

James was looking at him like he thought he had lost his mind. "Saint Remus?" He asked incredulously.

"That is not the way it went!" Sirius yelled. "It went more like-"

Flashback

Four hours earlier, Sirius was sitting much more innocently than Remus could ever hope to be at the breakfast table. He had been there for a while, eating his breakfast, reading the paper, and listening to the birds chirping through the window.

After staring at his impossibly beautiful, yet sexy and handsome face in the back of his spoon, Sirius was about to go back to his dorm. He wanted to go up there and say high to his best buds, Remus, Peter, and James. He also wanted to tell Lily Evans how incredibly smart she was and compliment her nicely shaped arse.

But before he got the chance to stand, however, one of his best mates Remus (dressed in black cape) walked into the Great Hall. Remus came over to Sirius and told him in a hushed voice:

"I want to severely punish James and Lily. And to best do this-"

End flashback

"Ok, enough of that!" James snapped, cutting off Sirius mid story.

"Here, here," Lily cheered from the bed.

"Who cares who did it anyway? Will you two just make up and be quiet?" James asked.

Peter, who had finally stopped laughing at Sirius's story, stood from the window seal. "That is not what happened! Here's what happened-"

Flashback

One week ago on their last Hogsmeade trip, Peter was looking over the shelf in Honeydukes, trying to find his favorite candy. James had excused himself to go to the loo a few moments ago, and Sirius and Remus were across the street in Zonkos.

Speaking of the two boys, Peter could see them through the other shop window and they were paying for something at the register, both giggling together. He only had to wait about a minute before Sirius and Remus made their way over to Zonkos and found Peter.

"What's so funny?" Peter asked them, eyeing the bag Remus held.

Sirius smirked and Remus started laughing.

"Peter my friend, we're going to give Lily and James a little push," Sirius said.

"What kind of push?" Peter asked.

Remus grinned. "Oh, you'll find out later."

End flashback

"See!" Sirius said excitedly, "Remus was holding the bag!"

James stared at him. "But he said you were both laughing so obviously you knew about it."

Sirius flushed. Remus looked down at his feet. Lily was glaring at the both of them and James was shaking his head in disappointment. Peter, however, was staring in horror at his reflection in the mirror across from him.

"What did you do to my face?"