7.

The next few days went by in a sort of slow blur. Carlisle kept thinking of little activities for me to do so he could further understand my gift. A contractor team was hired to build a dance studio out a little ways from the house, so I was ordered to stay inside most of the time, which was fine by him. Everyone in the house had held my hand, and one day Carlisle had suggested everyone touch me somewhere to see if everyone could share everything through me. But to his disappointment, there had been a sort of static that had rang through everyone's ears. Carlisle concluded that my brain could not process that many gifts and sharing it with that many people.

We went out at night, after the worker's were done, to hunt. Alice had provided me with enough clothes to last me a million years, and when Carlisle was done for the day, she offered to give me makeovers. We spent hours together, talking about my life, or what I remembered of it. She often would touch me and share a vision she had just had. Esme joined us sometimes, sliding into the room quietly and chatting with us. I was surprisingly never bored. When no one was around, I read a book from Dr. Cullen's vast collection or played on Edward's grand piano, singing along to songs from before that I only remembered because of the CD's that had been found in my car.

One day, as I was playing and singing my heart out, knowing no one was near enough to hear me, I stopped suddenly. I felt eyes on the back of my head, watching me. I turned around slowly, afraid to find no one and have to laugh at myself. But I was even more terrified when I saw Renesme watching me. She had come in without my noticing.

"Oh," was all I could manage, embarrassment crawling up and down my spine.

Renesme was smiling softly now. "You sing like an angel. And you play very beautifully, too."

I blushed internally and bit my lip. "Thanks."

She came to sit next to me on the piano bench. She touched a few keys, playing a melody I didn't recognize. "My dad… Edward loves to play."

I smiled. "Do you play?"

Now she was blushing. "No, not really. Dad is teaching me a little, but I seem to be a rather slow learner."

I nodded. "It took me a lot of practice to be able to play through one song well." I smiled encouragingly.

She picked up the music sheets that lay on the stands and flipped through them, picking out a song. "Do you read music?"

I nodded and took the song from her hand, examining it. I groaned sarcastically. "Great. It's in 6/8 timing."

She looked like she was about to apologize so I let out a small laugh to assure her I was kidding. I placed the sheet on the piano stand and started the song. "Will you sing it?"

I saw her nod slightly out of the corner of my eye. Then she opened her mouth and started singing in a smooth, haunting voice. I was so shocked that such a strong voice could come out of such a tiny girl that I almost stopped playing, but I pushed it aside and kept on. When the song was done, I clapped my hands. "Wow. You have an incredible voice!"

She looked down at her hands, fidgeting with them. "Thank you," she mumbled, embarrassed. Then she seemed to get an idea and looked up at me excitedly. "Maybe we could get Dad to write a duet for us!"

I nodded, excited as well. "That would be fun!" I smiled at her fully. She flashed me back a white smile.

I smelled him before I heard him. My head whipped around to see Jacob walk into the room. His dog smell burned my nostrils. I liked Jacob as a person, but he just smelled so bad it was hard to be around him. Bella had told me about that imprinting nonsense. I didn't know how Edward kept from killing the man, but I kept all those thoughts to myself, letting them be happy. Rensesme smiled widely at him. She looked almost like a little schoolgirl, and I had to smile. Wasn't I also the one who had been like that once, falling in love with someone my parents didn't approve of? But my mom and dad had grown to love John, see the person I saw, not the person he was when he went to the bar. I let the memory slowly slip away as I watched Jacob eyeing me. I grumbled mentally. What is it, dog? I was glad he couldn't hear my thoughts. I suppose he was a good person, and he was Bella's best friend, or had been once before she wanted to kill him for falling in love with her daughter. She had told me about how he had tried to convince her over and over again that it wasn't anything he could help, this imprinting thing, that it had just happened, but Bella hadn't believed a word he had spoken.

"He claims that it's all involuntary. Once a werewolf sets his eyes on that one person, there is a bond that is formed which cannot be broken, even if they wanted to, though they wouldn't."

"But Jacob first met Renesme when she was a baby. How did that happen?"

I could hear the change in her voice as she recalled when she'd first found out about what Jacob had done. "He claims that when one of them is that young, it is more of a brotherly love, where they love them and want to protect them. Once the object of that brotherly affection grows up, they become like lovers." She paused and then added with a sad note to her voice, "I was so angry when I found out, I nearly ripped his throat out."

"But Jacob is still a lot older than her. How old was he when she met him?"

"Technically, he was the same age. Werewolves never age until they give up their other 'self'. So Jacob is exactly the same age as Renesme in that respect."

I suppose I knew what she felt like, because I could imagine it happening to my daughter, but I didn't tell her that. I didn't want to dwell on the complications of Jacob and Renesme's relationship. Bella and Jacob got along better now, unless it was just an act for Renesme, but I could still feel the way she held back from him, though he tried in vain to salvage the friendship they'd lost.

I thought all this in the time it took Jacob to blink three times. I smiled at him pensively and he smiled back fully. Yes, he was a nice guy, but he still smelled like wet dog.

Renesme looked back at me. "You're like an aunt to me, I suppose," she whispered very softly. "I think it's very awesome that I have a cool aunt." Then she squeezed my hand with a smile and got up gracefully, calling another thank you to me. She took Jacob's big wolf hand in hers and they walked out the door together, laughing. My heart warmed because of what she'd said to me before leaving, and I turned back to the piano, smiling to myself.

A few days later, everyone, except for Carlisle, was downstairs, some watching TV idly, others chatting. I noticed Rosalie sitting in the corner, flipping through a magazine. I walked to her slowly, setting myself on the couch next to her. I didn't speak for a moment, though I knew she was aware of my presence.

Then I turned to her, smiling shyly. "Hello," I whispered, almost afraid to say anything. She was stunningly beautiful, with a sort of fierce beauty. She had her long blonde locks pulled back into a pony. She smiled at me slightly, seemingly wary, probably wondering what I wanted to talk to her about. I wasn't really sure, I just knew I wanted to get to know everyone. "Rosalie, right?" I knew her name but I wanted to somehow get the conversation going.

She seemed to sense this and laughed under her breath. "Yes, that's me."

I nodded, wondering what to say next. She spoke before I could think of anything.

"I'm sorry about everything." She seemed sincere.

I shrugged, trying to act like it wasn't so bad, praying my eyes didn't reveal how much it hurt me.

She put her hand on my shoulder lightly and whispered, "One day, I'll help you find them."

I smiled and nodded. "Thank you," I whispered, trying to control my voice. My eyes began to burn with ears I could not cry. I had promised myself to never reveal my pain to these dear people. They had, after all, saved my life, given me a second chance and maybe one day, I would see John again.

I laughed then, to shake off the sad feelings, and asked her lightly, "So, you and Emmett, huh?"

"Yup," she said with a slight nod.

"You're married?"

She was watching the back of Emmett's head with a smile. "Depends. Every few years, once we've been in a town for a while, we hold a new marriage ceremony. The rest of the time, we're just high school sweethearts."

"How did you and Emmett meet?"

She smiled, looking at me now. "He'd never admit to it, but I saved his life. He was being mauled to death by bears when I found him. I dragged him back here and begged Carlisle to save him." She shrugged. "There was just something about him that made me want to save him."

I nodded. After a minute of silence, Rosalie's face changed and become harder, the smile gone. She whispered to me, looking in my eyes and begging for the truth. "If you had a choice about this, would you have wanted to die? Or would you have chosen this life?"

I watched her face, but it never changed. I looked away, pretending to watch the TV. "I don't know," I said, barely audible. "If I had died that night, maybe I'd never get to see my husband again."

She pulled back and crossed her arms. "What about your baby?"

I hadn't wanted to discuss this with anyone so soon. I glanced around the room, wondering if anyone was listening to us. "I don't know, Rosalie," I said, a little louder than I'd intended. I let out a slow sigh. "I don't even know if she's alive or not." I looked at her again. Her face hadn't changed at all.

"But don't you want to hope that she is?"

"I don't know," I said again. "I don't want to give myself a false hope just so I'll feel better for now. Because when I find my husband and see her grave or…" my voice catches and I stop talking. I close my eyes and tell myself to calm down. "It would be worse then, having tried to believe for so long that she was alive."

"But you want her to be alive?"

I looked at Rosalie, begging her to understand. "More than anything in the world."

Rosalie nodded, as if telling me she understood. I looked down at my hands, trying to concentrate on anything that would keep me from dwelling on my daughter. "I love her, though I've never really seen her. I feel her in me, like she's part of me. That part of me will never die."

Rosalie squeezed my hand. She felt my discomfort and got up, breaking off the conversation and saving me from having to figure out how to end it without ending up a hysterical mess. When I looked around, I noticed Bella watching me intently. Her face didn't change when I spotted her. Edward said something to her, and she broke off her stare to glance at him. She looked back at me one time, gave me a soft smile, and then returned her attention to what she had been doing before.

I stood up slowly and made my way up the stairs, hoping to find Carlisle somewhere. He seemed to hear me coming, for he called to me from behind a closed door to come in. I cracked open the door and peeped into what looked like a large office. He sat there, behind a big mahogany desk, looking over some papers. I stepped into the room cautiously, closing the door silently behind me.

"I hope I'm not disturbing…"

"No, no. Sit down." He smiled warmly at me, holding his arm out to indicate where I could sit. I set myself down in the red leather chair, looking around the room at all the books. On the wall behind me were hundreds of pictures, some in color and others black and white. I looked at him and wondered where to begin. I had so many questions for him.

"I assume you have some questions for me, Allisa?"

"Well, yes. And I prefer Lisa actually," I said with a shy smile.

"Well, then Lisa. You can ask me anything, I hope you know that."

I nodded as I tried to think of what to ask first. I wanted to ask if there was even a chance I'd ever get to see my husband again, but I didn't want to sound ungrateful for everything the Cullens had done for me. So I asked a safer question first.

"How long will I have these red eyes?"

Carlisle smiled. "Bella was worried about that, too. I'm finding you too are very similar. Have you talked with her yet?"

"No, not really."

He didn't say anything, just nodded. "As for your question, it lasts about 2 to 3 years. That's also when the strength starts to become more normal and your instincts more controlled, though yours are very controlled to begin with."

"What will you tell people when I am able to go out? Renesme mentioned that I was like an aunt to her."

"Well, that does seem like a good explanation. I suppose we could say you are my sister, since you and I both have the blonde hair." He winked at me, a smile on his face. "Since Renesme seems a lot older because she grew up so fast, we don't tell anyone she is Edward and Bella's daughter. We tell everyone in Forks she is a cousin of Bella's, which we suppose explains the similarities between the two. When we go somewhere else, we tell people she is Bella's sister."

"And I understand you say that you adopted everyone?"

"Yes, because Esme and I obviously do not look old enough to have 17 year-old children."

I thought about this for a moment, and then went back to something he had said before. "Renesme, how old is she?"

"Well, she was born only about 12 years ago, though she has grown into a 17 year-old."

"How is that possible?"

"We've had only one other case of this ever in our kind's history. They're half-breeds, half-vampire, half-human. They grow very fast, but once they hit 17, they stop growing and become like vampires, never growing older."

"I remember Edward told me that Renesme grew fast when Bella was pregnant with her."

"Yes, she was pregnant for only a month or so."

We were silent for a long time after that, while I contemplated this.

Carlisle broke the silence. "Is there anything else?"

I nodded. "So you never age?"

"No, none of us have aged a day since we've been turned."

"So how do you stay in the same place?"

"We don't. We move around every 5 years or so, before people start to get suspicious."

"So where have you all been?"

"We've spent many years here, in Forks, because it has great weather for us and it's small. We live in places where it's cold and rainy and the sun doesn't shine much."

I remembered a part of the myth about vampires, where they were burned when the sun hit them. "The sun? Does it burn you?"

Carlisle laughed. "No, that's just a story made up by humans. Though it is dangerous for us to go outside in the sun when there are humans around. I suppose you could say our skin sparkles in the sunshine."

"Sparkles?"

"Yes. Imagine billions of tiny diamonds stuck to your skin, and that's kind of what we look like."

"Wow."

"Yes, it's really something."

Again, there was silence.

Then I asked him, "Could you tell me your story?"

He nodded. "I was kind of waiting for that."

I smiled shyly, as if I'd been caught in a lie.

"Have you seen the cross at the end of the hall?"

I nodded, recalling what Esme had told me about it. "She told me your father carved it around the…" I had forgotten when she had said.

"The sixteen-thirties," he filled in for me.

"Yeah."

"Yes, my father made it. He was the pastor of an Anglican church in London, and the cross hung above his pulpit. He was a strong believer in the reality of evil and he led many hunts for witches, werewolves… vampires."

"How ironic that his son should become one." I saw the sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, wishing I hadn't said anything.

"No, you're right." He paused for a minute, seemingly reflecting on something, before resuming his story. "I followed in his footsteps, leading some hunts. The ones he was really after wouldn't be so easy to find. A lot of innocent people were killed." There was such a broken sadness in his voice that I almost wanted to cry. "I was a disappointment to my father when he asked me in his old age to take over the hunts completely for him. I didn't want to blame anyone. I looked into people's eyes and saw nothing wrong with them, though my father would have burned them. But I was persistent, wanting to please my father. I actually discovered a coven of real vampires. They had lived in the city for centuries, hiding in the sewers. They only came out at night to hunt, which allowed them to live so long there, unbeknownst to the humans. We went to where I had seen them come out before and waited with pitchforks and torches, until one appeared. He was very old as far as these things go and he spoke to his clan in Latin when he smelled our blood boiling in our veins. He ran away through the streets and I set chase after him, along with some others. He could have easily outrun me, through I was young, only twenty-three, and fast. But he was probably very hungry. He turned suddenly and attacked us, going for me first. He bit me, but was distracted from the kill when the others came after him. I was left there to die, because two of the men who had followed me were dead, the third one carried off by the vampire." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I knew what my father would do if he found out I had been bitten by a vampire, the very thing he sought to destroy. So I hid in a cellar, away from the alley, and buried myself in rotting potatoes during the three days of my transformation. I don't know how I did it, but somehow I managed to keep still, not crying out when the pain became unbearable. When I awoke on the third day, I knew what I was. I knew with all my heart I didn't want to be like this, so I tried rebelling against my nature. I wanted to kill myself and jumped off of great heights and tried to drown myself in the ocean to do so. But never was there even a scratch on me. It's very hard for a vampire to be killed by anyone, especially themselves." He paused and looked at me. "Is this making you uncomfortable? Should I stop now?"

"No, no! Please continue!" I was completely engrossed into his story.

He nodded and continued. "I'm not sure how I did it, because it's really nearly impossible, but I didn't give in to my want for blood."

"You never…ate?"

She shook his head. "No. I thought maybe I could kill myself by starving. And like you were, I was very repulsed by what I had become, my new nature. But I grew very week and hungry. I went as far away from humans as I possibly could, because I knew my resolve was fading away. I wandered for months, absolutely loathing myself. And then one night, there was a herd of deer that passed very close to where I was hiding. I was so famished that I didn't think twice before attacking. My strength came back to me and my hunger faded, and I suddenly realized I didn't have to the vile creature I thought I was. If I could survive off of animal blood, surely I wasn't such a monster? Humans ate meat. So over the next few months, this philosophy that we all live by here was birthed inside my head. I swam to France, across the English Channel, and began to study. I was always eager to learn and my father had always complimented on my intelligence. I studied at night, going through all the universities in Europe. I studied science, music, and medicine. That's where I found my redeeming light, if you will. I could save lives instead of take them by being a doctor. But it was a long struggle to perfect my self-control. It wouldn't do any good to loose my control while trying to save a patient." I shook my head. "I am all but immune to human blood now, so I can do what I love without being in pain. I find peace there, at the hospital, helping others." He let out a happy sigh.

"I suppose that's sort of ironic too. A vampire being the happiest in a place with probably the most human blood at any time." He nodded.

"Anyways, after going through Europe, I went to Italy to study when I discovered the Volturi."

"The… who?"

"Volturi. I suppose you could call them our kind's rulers. They have lived in Italy for many thousands of years." He stood and led me to the wall with all the pictures. He pointed out a large painting. It was a group of men, standing on a balcony, watching the mayhem below. I recognized Carlisle among them, which shocked me. "You were royalty once?"

Carlisle laughed quietly. "I suppose you could say that. The other three are Aro, Marcus, and Caius." He pointed to each face as he said their name. "I stayed with them only for a few decades. I admired them for their civility and refinement, but was at odds with them about my 'vegetarian' diet. They constantly tried to convince me to feast on humans, and I tried to persuade them as well. It was then that I decided to try the New World. I wanted to find other vampires who lived like me. I was lonely." He stopped and looked over the pictures slowly. "That was when I found Edward. He was dying of Spanish influenza and his mother begged me to save him when she found out what I was. I rationalized that I wasn't taking anything away from him since he was already dying."

I smiled at him. "I think it's very…nice, what you do. It's sort of heroic if you think about it."

He shook his head. "Some of us would disagree with that. They think this life is hell."

"Rosalie?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes, and Edward did, too, for a time. Until he found Bella, of course."

"But Rosalie has Emmett."

Carlisle nodded, replying reluctantly. "Yes, but there are things that she wants, has always wanted that she cannot have now."

"Like what, if I may ask."

Carlisle looked at me. It was as if he was trying to reassure himself that I was ready to hear his answer. He apparently did, because he replied slowly, "A child."

I looked down at the floor, sad for Rosalie. I knew that carrying a child was one of the most fulfilling things for a woman. Now I understood why she had asked me so earnestly about my little Lily. When I looked back at Carlisle, I saw him watching me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "It's just that I feel so sad for her."

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder gently.

There was a long silence, which I finally interrupted when I looked back up at Carlisle. "You have a very interesting history."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"I know it may not seem like the right response, especially coming from me, but I want to thank you for saving me."

Carlisle smiled. "Well, I suppose it was my pleasure, then."

I smiled, looking back at the pictures. "Can I ask you something? I don't want to sound ungrateful."

"Of course. You can ask me anything and I will never take offense."

"Do you think," I stopped and closed my eyes, trying to hold on to my control. "Do you think I'll ever be able to see my husband again?"

Carlisle didn't speak for a long time. I listened to the sound of the voices downstairs, the sound of laughter, trying not to concentrate on the pain that was threatening to overpower me. When Carlisle finally spoke, his voice was almost inaudible. "I don't know, Lisa. It was be at least three years, because we'll need to make sure you can handle being around humans. And of course we'll need to wait for your eyes to turn gold like ours." He looked at me, thinking. "I suppose, one day it could be possible. You could not tell him anything, unless you decide you want to change him, but I don't know how you would explain the way you look to him. It's very obvious that your skin is paler and your eyes will be a different color, of course." He stopped talking, studying my expression.

"Maybe if I could just… see him, from far away," my voice broke and I hid my face in my hands. Carlisle spoke a name under his voice and suddenly Esme was there, comforting me.

"We will do everything we can, Lisa. But I cannot promise you anything and I'm terribly sorry for that."

I nodded, feeling the rub of Esme's shirt against my cheek. I looked up at Carlisle and Esme. "Thank you. That would mean the world to me, if you would at least try."

Esme nodded. "Of course, darling."

I pulled myself together and thanked them both again. "You're very wonderful people. I'm very blessed to be able to know you." Esme squeezed my hand, smiling at me, and Carlisle nodded, smiling also.