…And in the fourth hour…

Peter spent twenty minutes trying to get the ink off of his face, to no avail. It seemed that the harder he scrubbed himself with Lily's lavender scented soap the more the ink wanted to stick. It didn't even run when he splashed water on it. If he had his wand, this wouldn't be a problem. But he (obviously) did not have it on him.

No one was lifting a finger to help him. As soon as he had seen his reflection they had all fallen over laughing while clutching their sides. He wouldn't have minded this so much if the ink would just come off.

Finally, he gave up. There obviously wasn't any point in trying to remove the drawings on his face if they wouldn't even smear.

He stomped out of the bathroom and glared at everyone. It seemed that while he had been busy they had calmed down. But as soon as they saw him come out, they all busted out laughing all over again.

Lily fell off of her bed, her face red and her arms around her waist, James was leaning against the wall for support, Sirius was on all fours and pounding the ground with his fists, and Remus was bent double with his hands on his knees.

"This is not funny!" Peter tried, but this only egged the others on further.

"You look like-" Remus gasped out between bouts of laughter, but Peter never found out what he was supposed to look like. "Oh god," Remus, red-faced, pressed his legs together. "I have to pee!" And he shot past Peter and into the bathroom, causing the others to roar with laughter.

Stalking over to one of the beds, Peter sat down on it and glowered at the others as he pulled the curtains closed around him.

It took quite a while for the others to settle down. But eventually, Lily managed to crawl back onto her bed, James stood up straight, and Sirius went to sit on the window sill.

Remus came out of the bathroom, mumbling something about a nap, before mimicking Peter's actions and jumping on a bed and pulling the curtains closed around him.

He only sat on the window sill for all of ten minutes before Sirius grew bored again. Sitting here, trapped in this room with nothing to do, it was understandable. And there was only one thing that he always enjoyed that he could do at the moment.

Annoy the living daylights out of Lily Evans.

Smirking slightly, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked over to where Lily sat cross legged on her bed, her nose in a book.

"Lily, Lily, Lily…" he clicked his tongue annoyingly in her direction.

The redhead completely ignored him. She was, after all, used to his tactics after knowing him for seven years. At least once a week Sirius would come to annoy her. Or to make her scream, she wasn't sure which one it was.

But after four years of this, Sirius had almost become like an annoying little brother to her. Since then she had tried harder to endure his little game, and had gotten better at it. Last time he had come to annoy her, she had lasted a whole twenty minutes before she had hexed him across the room and nearly killed him.

Ok, killed him was a bit dramatic. But that had been the word that Sirius had used.

So what if he had hit that vase and gotten cut in the neck by the broken glass? He had asked for it. And the cut was more like a cat scratch. And Madam Pomfrey had looked at Sirius like he was crazy before healing it up in about two seconds after Lily had levitated his stupid butt up to the hospital wing, making sure she 'accidently' bumped his head on the wall a few times.

But right now, Sirius had seemed to have forgotten about this whole incident as he jumped face first onto her bed.

Of course this caused the whole bed to shake and rattle. But Lily determinedly kept her face in her book. She could do it if she kept reading. Just concentrate on the text, she kept telling herself.

"Your bed is nice," Sirius was on his side now, propping his head up with his hand and staring intently at her. "It's perfect for sex."

Lily ground her teeth together as she read.

"Mate knock it off," James sighed. "You'll just make this whole thing worse on yourself."

"Liiiilleeeee. I wrote you a limerick, wanna hear?" Sirius asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "There once was girl named Lily, everyone thought she was too silly, so one day she farted a fart that really really really smelled like chili. A guy named Billy who thought that really really really smelled like chili, asked Lily to me his little frilly-"

"SHUT-UP!" Lily roared and flung her book at his head.

Luckily for Sirius, he ducked just in time and the book ended up hitting James right in his…manly area.

Not a sound came from James. Sirius and Lily watched in horror as his mouth formed an O shape and he fell to his knees. From there he whimpered pitifully as Lily and Sirius rushed over to him.

Over on the other side of the room, Peter and Remus, who pulled back their curtains to see what had happened, collapsed onto their respective beds, laughing quietly. It was always funny when someone got hit in the nuts. Unless it was your own nuts getting the abuse, of course.

"Oh my god, James—I mean Potter…Are you ok?" Lily unsurely rubbed a comforting hand on his back as he bent double.

James made a sound like: "Mmmmfffurmagin." Lily wasn't sure what to make of that, but it didn't sound good.

"Evans look what you did!" Sirius pointed an accusing finger at James.

And so Sirius was back to it. Though she could feel her nostrils flaring and her blood boiling at these words, Lily fought her anger back down. Freaking Sirius out would be more fun than screaming at him.

"Yes, it was my fault," Lily said through her grinding teeth, "I'm sorry Potter."

"You should be jailed for that!" Sirius tried again. "Seriously now, throwing books at a man's jewels, Evans? I never thought you would go that low."

Ignoring him was not going to work. Neither was agreeing with him, apparently.

So Lily changed tactics. She smiled pleasantly at him while saying in the most seductive voice she could manage: "Oh you don't know how low I can go, serious boy." She traced her lips with her tongue slowly after she said this.

Sirius gulped.

"WHAT?" James screeched into the floor, not quite believing what he was hearing. Not only was he in terrible pain, but he might never be able to have children, and Lily was flirting with Sirius. These people were evil.

Not only that, but Remus and Peter seemed to have no concern for him at all. They were probably over there laughing at him. Though if he had to be completely honest with himself, if it were either of them on the ground right now, he would probably be laughing too. It was always funny when someone got hit in the nuts. Except for right now, when it was him.

Sirius knew what Lily was doing. After purposely annoying her for years he had learned that she was always trying to think of new ways to fight back with him. This did not, however, make her comment about going low make him any less turned on.

You couldn't blame him though. He was seventeen. Everything made him want to have sex. Staring at the paint on the wall made him want to have sex. He had had to train himself not to look at the orchids in greenhouse three. If you've ever seen an orchid, you know why.

But if Lily was trying to win by 'seducing him', then he wasn't going to let her. Two could play at that game.

"Low, huh?" He flashed her his trademark smile that would make any girl cheat on her boyfriend in a random broom closet. Ok, so that had happened once, but he had warned Peter that his girlfriend was a cheater type. "This serious boy can also go low…or high…Whichever way you like it."

Lily glowered at him.

James screeched into the floor again for him to shut-up.

Ten minutes later, James was sitting on the edge of Lily's bed, wishing he had some ice. Sirius was doing pushups and Lily was bending over to get something in front of Sirius, spending a ridiculous amount of time getting back up.

Peter and Remus, amused by this show, had come back out and were watching. James was left to glare at the lot of them, sure that another twenty hours of this was going to seem like a lifetime.

After another ten minutes of this, Remus pulled the now furious Lily off of Sirius and nearly got hit by her swinging fists.

"I swear, Black," she snarled as Remus kept a tight grip on her waist, "When we get out of here, I am going to kill you!"

"Why when we get out of here?" Peter asked curiously.

"Because," Lily said maliciously, "THEN there won't be any WITNESSESS!" She roared before trying to fling herself back at Sirius, who was leaning against the wall and looking a bit scared while nursing his bruising jaw.

A few moments ago they had all witnessed Sirius whisper something into Lily's ear, something that had made her completely snap and attack him. For a moment, they had watched. It was always funny when someone got beat up. Especially by a girl.

But when Lily proved to be either stronger than Sirius-or madder they weren't sure which—and she had overpowered him, they thought it best to intervene.

"What did he say to you?" Peter asked her while she struggled in Remus's grip.

Lily shook her head angrily and glared at Sirius. She was NOT going to repeat something THAT dirty. No way.

"Sirius, please, go hide your face so Lily can calm down," Remus told him, clearly having a hard time of holding the redhead back.

Sirius shuffled into the bathroom, looking worriedly in Lily's direction.

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Remus let go of her and patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"There, there, Lily…It's ok."

Lily glowered at the bathroom door before turning to him. "I'm going to hurt him."

One corner of Remus's mouth lifted. "I think you already did."

"I'm going to hurt him worse." Lily said as she shrugged and crossed her arms.

"I know sometimes he can be a little difficult to get along with." Remus said apologetically, meaning every word of it.

"I know, right? He's just-" Lily searched for something to say to perfectly sum up Sirius, "so…GRRR. You know?"

Remus nodded at this. "I know, once, when we were in fifth year, I made the mistake of telling him that I was allergic to lemon. I can't even touch it—my skin gets all puffy and red. So Sirius thought it would be hilarious to line the inside of my boxer shorts with lemon juice."

Lily gaped at him. "Are you SERIOUS?"

Of course he wasn't. That whole thing was a ridiculous lie made up in a random attempt to calm Lily down. But at least it looked like it was working. If Sirius had ever really done anything like that to him, Remus would have cursed him into the next century.

But he nodded anyway.

"Yes, sadly I am. It took me a while to forgive him for that one. But I always try to be the bigger person and give everyone a second chance. Two wrongs don't make a right you know. My mum always told me that."

Behind Lily, Peter and James were looking at Remus and shaking their heads. Lily however, was nodding.

"That is so true…But I like revenge better. Wanna help me get back at him, Remus?"

Remus blinked. "Ah, what?

"I'll get back at him for you too." Lily grinned almost maniacally. "I have a plan."