A/N So my friend called me the day she left to le me know she's safe and that she misses me, i felt like crying because i was happy she was doing ok, and that out of everyone she could have called she called me first. So I've gotten move inspiration, i blame the fact i watched 3 seasons of L&O:SVU in a row, anyway here it is and i hope you enjoy :)

"Casey…please say something…"

Casey blinked and tried to get her gather her thoughts, She had just learnt why Ilsa has reacted the way she did, why Ilsa always seemed so defensive, and what she couldn't quite get was why she was telling her all of this.

"So…" Casey said slowly, looking into Ilsa's eyes, tears threatening to spill out, her lips curved into a light smile "You think I'm beautiful huh?" she said

Ilsa scoffed, though a grin had made it's way across her face "I say all that" she said turning and looking at the woman across from her "And that's all you retain?"Casey shrugged her shoulders and Ilsa sat there in the silence after that, Ilsa didn't really want to say anymore, brining up those memories were draining. Casey wasn't quite sure what to say, it was a lot to take Ilsa broke the silence "Thank you"

"For what?" Casey questioned

"For not telling me to leave, for still talking to me" Ilsa muttered

"Why wouldn't I talk to you? Hearing all this doesn't change anything, just explains somethings"

"I don't tell a lot of people that story, and I don't know why I told you, I just feel… comfortable enough to talk to you, I don't have a lot of people I can talk to, but I'd like to think your one of them" Ilsa said softly as she played with her fingers, not daring to look back up at Casey"…I hope we can still be friends"

Casey sighed "Of course we can"

The young attorney couldn't stop the smile that moved across her lips as she saw the detectives face light up.

It was quiet again after that, until Casey remembered something that had been said at dinner

"Did you really get hit by a car?" she asked

Ilsa smiled sheepishly "Yes, but I'm fine, doctors said so"

"That's why you were late to dinner tonight?"

Ilsa leaned back into the couch "Partly, I had an important stop to make"

"Something more important then going the hospital?" Casey chuckled

"I went to see my mum" Ilsa said softly

"But I thought you said she was-"

Ilsa cut Casey off "She is, I went by her grave and put some flowers there, I do it every week, and I-"

"You what?" Casey asked leaning closer and giving Ilsa a little nudge "Come on, you what?""You'll think I'm crazy"

"Come on, were friends you can tell me"

Ilsa looked into her friends eyes 'maybe I can trust her' she thought "I needed someone to talk to, and I didn't know who else to see"

Casey didn't say anything, not that she had a chance before Ilsa started talking again

"I'm not crazy Casey, I know she's gone, I just sometimes really need to talk to someone and I know she's watching over me"

Reaching over and placing a hand on Ilsa's shoulder Casey smiled "I don't think your crazy, but tell me, d-did she answer you?"

Ilsa chuckled softly "In her own way I think she did, I guess I just needed some advice and I didn't know who else to talk to and I like to think she can hear me, that as long as I think about her she's still with me"

Casey could see the tears in her friend's eyes "Can I ask how she died?"

Ilsa made a soft scoffing noise but nodded "She was shot, we were uh…sitting at home and I was playing with a little toy car she had bought me, she was on the phone to someone I don't know who, it was a nice night and I was actually happy" Ilsa took a deep breath

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to Ilsa"

She just smiled and continued her story "A man came into the house, the police called it a 'robbery gone wrong' and the man who did it never got arrested, he shot her in the chest and" she scoffed, hoping to keep her tears back "It's all surreal, I was there but I wasn't type thing, and I remember screaming and holding her, crying and watching as he walked away, he sneered and said "It's out secret if I told anyone he'd kill me to" he left and I called 911, I held my mother as she lay dying and I…" she chocked on a sob

"That's when I made my first hollow promise and I hated it"

Casey was trying not to cry now "W-what's a hollow promise?" she asked, happy her voice was working

"I made a promise I couldn't keep, I told her everything would be ok, that she would be ok" Ilsa's eye were hollow and she seemed to just be on auto-pilot, telling the story but trying not to remember

"I don't know when she died but she did and it broke me pretty bad, I cried and cried and i begged the doctors to save her, I told them I'd do anything…but there wasn't anything they could do she was as good as dead the second the bullet went through her"

A tear slid down Ilsa's cheek but she didn't wipe it away "I hated myself…because I blamed her I thought if she loved me she'd still be here, I know it's not true but I was so upset, I took her necklace or rather she gave it to me" she said pulling on the pendent that hung around her neck "And I've never taken it off since then, it's how I keep her close"

Casey slid closer on the couch her wine since forgotten and she gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze "I am so sorry" she said, her voice tight

Ilsa smiled sadly "Don't be, but can we please change the topic, I can only talk so much about this before I'm drained and I could tell you more but I'm pretty much at my limit for tender topics"

Casey nodded, but couldn't think of what else to ask

"Can I have a drink?" Ilsa asked

Casey didn't reply just left to get her a glass of water, when she came back Ilsa was still staring off into space, and Casey watched for a second and looked at the sorrow on her face, the red eyes cause by trying to hold back tears, and the quivering bottom lip. She could see Ilsa didn't want to talk about these things anymore, so Casey decided to change the topic.

"So what were your collage years like?" she asked with a smile, Ilsa just laughed happy Casey wasn't going to push her, happy she had told Casey and she hadn't been kicked out or judged "They were crazy" said Ilsa taking the cup from Casey's hand

"Like Crazy how?"

"Like Crazy parties, lots of booze, late nights, crazy sex, waking up with tattoos and piercings you don't remember getting" you know the normal collage experience" smiled Ilsa

Casey's jaw dropped 'My collage days weren't like that' she closed her mouth when she heard Ilsa laughing.

"You're joking right?" she asked

Ilsa nodded with a cheeky smile "It wasn't like that, I didn't go to many parties while I was in collage, and didn't drink a whole lot either"

"Oh but the crazy sex is true?"

"Yeah I'm not exactly lying about the sex part I met some really nice people in collage"

Casey didn't answer, she met her ex-fiancé in collage after all

"Ok so maybe crazy sex isn't the right term, I had a couple of relationships but they didn't last"

"What happened? Were you to crazy for them?"

Ilsa laughed "It was a mutual break, I couldn't be with them when I wasn't being entirely honest with them, we weren't ready to do that so we stopped dating, but were still good friends"

"So um…was it a guy or a girl?" Casey asked shyly

"Still pondering on my sexuality are we counsellor?" Ilsa smirked "Ok I'll stop torturing you, although I don't why you need to know" she sighed and looked at Casey "I'm gay have been for a long time"

Casey smiled and gave Ilsa a playful shove "See? Was that so hard"

"You want to be friends with a lesbian?" Ilsa asked in all seriousness

Casey was little shocked that Ilsa had to ask, she had just spilled things about her past and Casey hadn't left her for that, being gay wasn't something that bothered "O-of course I still want to be your friend, why would you think I didn't"

"I've been called a lot of things and some people I know, or rather knew, stopped talking to me when they found out I prefer the female persuasion"

'That's horrible' "Well I'm not like that Ilsa, I don't care that your gay I still like you"

Ilsa smiled and they just sat in the quiet for a few minutes, neither wanting to say anything right now.

"So what about your collage years? ever do anything crazy"

Casey shook her head "Not really, I was working a lot so that I could pay for law school"

"Aw come on Casey, I worked too but I still had fun at least once"

"Well yeah I had fun you know parties and what not I just don't think they were as wild as yours…how many tattoos do you have?" she asked confused"I've got three all up and four piercings now I used to have more"

Casey sat still looking confused

Ilsa smiled "OK I've got the tattoo on my hand, one of my leg which is of the southern cross to remind me of home and the one on my arm"

"And the piercings?"

"I've got four, my ears" she said moving some hair to show Casey "MY tongue" Poking her tongue out "And…" she paused and started to blush "Another one I'd rather not discuss"

"You tell me about everything else but no the last one, where is it" Ilsa shook her head but Casey pushed "Please I wont tell"

Ilsa took a deep breath "Lower on my body, in a place I can't show you…with out being sued for indecent exposure"

Casey stated at her, confused, then it clicked "Oh…..OH…you have between your…oh" she was blushing

"Yeah, 'Oh', I don't tell a lot of people about that one, consider yourself special Novak"

"Oh I do" Casey teased

"So did you ever meet anyone in collage?" Ilsa asked after getting herself a glass of wine, she wanted to change the topic quickly

Casey looked down "Uh, yeah I did"

"Oh was it a she or a he" teased Ilsa

"It was a guy, im not gay, he was really sweet, his name was Charlie"

"You're not gay?" Ilsa asked, she could see it was a tender topic and didn't want to make Casey uncomfortable "Then I really feel special about you trying to have your wicked way with me"

Casey groaned and covered her face "Are you ever going to let me live that down!" she pouted

"Nope" Ilsa said with a smug grin, leaning closer she whispered "But I'll only tease you about it in private, it that makes you feel better"

Casey threw a small pillow at Ilsa's face 'I'm not gay, I just like Ilsa as a friend, a good annoying friend'

"That is abuse of an officer Casey and I could arrest you for that"

"Any excuse to use your cuffs huh?" Casey quipped

Ilsa's jaw dropped "Well well seems like you've got a naughty side counsellor"

Casey chuckled as she settled back into her couch, it was turning out to be a good night after all, Ilsa seemed to be having a good time, apart from her spilling her guts about her father, Casey couldn't help but be happy that Ilsa trusted her enough with her secrets. She wasn't going to fool herself into thinking those were all the secrets Ilsa had, it was kind of obvious she had more

Ilsa for her part couldn't stop smiling, it was going great, Casey hadn't seemed disgusted or upset or judgemental and Ilsa couldn't find the words to describe how happy that made her. "So Casey do you have a boyfriend or some kind of other person if your life?"

Casey laughed "Are you just asking so you can make a move on me detective?"

Ilsa cocked an eyebrow "I'll make a move on you either way I just feel better if I'm not taking you away from someone else"

"You are incorrigible Ilsa"

"Only when it comes to you" Ilsa declared covering her heart and giving what she thought was a charming smiling, all she managed was getting a light smack in the arm from a laughing ADA, but it was good enough

"Well if you must know, there is a guy who seems nice and he asked me out"

"OOOooo do I know this man? and if not when can I met the chap" Ilsa smiled

"You dont get to meet him, I wouldn't want to scare him off"

This didn't deter Ilsa "Well as your friend I feel it is my duty to see if this guy is good enough for you to see"

Casey scoffed "You are not getting anywhere near him Ilsa so don't even think about it"

Ilsa pouted, but it didn't have an effect on Casey or at least not the one she was hoping for, it just caused her to laugh again."You know Novak I am starting to feel a little insulted by the fact you keep laughing at my face"

"What can I say Ilsa" Casey said reaching over and cupping Ilsa's cheek "You have an incredibly funny face"

It was getting late, and the rain showed no signs of letting up anytime soon, but both women had work the next day and needed to get at least some sleep.

"Hey Casey are you doing anything this Saturday?"

"Uh...nothing I have the day off why?"

"I uh.., I want you to meet someone, someone very special to me, I was thinking if you wanted we could make a day out of it, g-go shopping of something" Ilsa kept her eyes down, not wanting to look at Casey in case she said no.

"Sure, I'd like that but who do you want me to meet?" Casey asked, happy to be spending a day with a friend, confused about who she was supposed to meet "Who do you want me to meet?"

"You'll find out when we meet Saturday" she smiled "I better go" Ilsa said as she got up off of the couch and stretch, hearing a satisfying pop as she did.

"Its still raining really hard out there, why don't you spend the night" Casey offered as she let out a yawn

Ilsa chuckled and just nodded "Sure why not"

As Casey got up off the couch and started to pick up the empty glasses she turned to Ilsa "Do you want to sleep on the couch?"

Ilsa blinked "Uh…where else would I sleep?""Well my bed is big enough for two people trust me"

Ilsa smiled mischievously "How many people have you had in your bed?"

"Oh grow up Ilsa" Casey called as she walked to put the cups in the sink, she would wash them later

"Ok am I going to be the first woman in it? If so I feel very honoured"

Casey turned to look at Ilsa a clearly unamused look on her face; Ilsa on the other hand still had that stupid smile on her face, Casey shook her head and went into her room, closing the door behind sat back down on the couch and smiled, flopping onto her side she yawned and closed her eyes, shifting to get comfortable"You can come in if you want to" she heard Casey yell from the bedroom

Ilsa slowly got up and pushed the door open, taking a deep breath, she smiled hen she saw Casey snuggled up under the covers.

"You sure you won't find it awkward?" Ilsa asked as she stepped next to the bed, she didn't have a problem with sharing a bed with people, she had shared her bed with a lot of her friends Sam, Ethan, Olivia it was a long list, but she didn't want to make Casey feel awkward, they had just gotten there friendship back on track and Ilsa knew she had problems sleeping.

"I think I can trust you won't do anything" Casey mumbled sleepily as she snuggled deeper into her bed

Ilsa slowly sat down on the bed, trying not to disturb Casey she lay down and put her arms behind her head, waiting for Casey to fall asleep.

It wasn't long before Ilsa heard Casey's breathing change, letting her know that the woman next to her was fast asleep, Ilsa closed her eyes and started to doze off, until she felt something warm wrap cover her stomach, she stiffened and slowly opened her eyes, shaking her head when she noticed Casey had rolled into her and was now snuggling into her side, resting her head on Ilsa's shoulder and wrapping an arm around her.

Ilsa closed her eyes and tried to sleep, though it was hard with Casey pressed against her, she tried to gently roll Casey off her during the night, but it never worked, she'd either moan and pull herself closer, or roll back over once Ilsa retreated back to her side of the bed.

After finally falling to sleep, Ilsa work herself with a gasp, looking around the room she noticed she wasn't in her room, one look down told her she was either dreaming or had stayed the night at Casey's, the only two logical explanations as to why the young ADA was sleeping on her. Carefully Ilsa push herself onto her elbows and looked at the clock on Casey's bedside table, sighing she flopped back into the bed

'Like fucking clock work' she thought bitterly, almost every day she woke up around 4 in the morning and try and she might she knew she wouldn't get back to sleep anytime soon. With an angry sigh she rolled Casey off of her again and slipped out before she got caught in her grasp again. Making her way through the strange apartment in the dark, she found the bathroom and looked around for her clothes, they were still wet, but she slipped them back on and wrote a quick note in case Casey wondered where she was when she woke up.

She took a quick look back in the bedroom, making sure the ADA was still sleeping, Ilsa let out a chuckle when she looked in and saw Casey had sprawled into the spot she had been sleeping "Would she jump in my grave that quickly" she chuckled softly to herself. Letting herself she wandered through the streets, probably not a good idea, but she knew no one would mess with her. If they tried she always had her gun, and one phone call to a special friend and whoever messed with her would spend the rest of there life eating through a tube, if they were lucky…

A/N well i hope this chapter makes sense and is good, i had a problem when i uploaded it and though I've read though it but there may be mistakes i cant see, after reading the same thing over and over you kinda miss things. Anyway next chapter is underway :) hope you all Enjoyed!