10.

When we got back to the house, I had calmed my emotions enough to be able to calmly get out of the car. When we walked into the house, I saw Edward sitting on the couch near the front door, watching us carefully. Had he heard something in Alice or I's mind about what had happened? He stood up and pulled Alice to the side, whispering something in her ear. Alice nodded and whispered back to him, "I think it's time."

Alice followed me up the stairs and we set down all the bags in my room. I thanked her earnestly for everything.

"Of course. It was fun." She smiled fully at me, not seeming sure if I wanted to discuss the latter part of the evening with her or not.

We stood in silence for a moment. "Alice," I finally spoke up.

"Yes?"

"I want you to tell me what you feel about what happened tonight." I needed a friend to talk me through the next part of this and I was thankful Alice was always willing.

Alice watched me carefully. "You've waited very patiently and you know we all know how you feel about this." She took my hand. "Edward is very worried about you. He knows you've been struggling with this for a while now."

I let out a shaky sigh. "I want this so badly, Alice. Even if I could just see him, from far away, just to know he's okay."

She nodded. "I know, and I know you're ready. But you need to speak to Carlisle."

I nodded. "I think I'm scared he'll say no." I laughed softly once the words were out of my mouth, knowing how ridiculous it sounded, like I was 15 and asking my father permission to go on a date.

Alice smiled lightly at me. "I don't think he will. Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head and let out a slow sigh, resolving to myself. "I need to do this alone. But thank you." I smiled at her. "You've been a great friend. I couldn't have asked for anyone better."

Alice smiled at me.

"Happy birthday, Lisa," she whispered in me ear as she hugged me tightly. She stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her softly.

I sat on the couch and pulled my feet up. Wrapping my arms around my legs, I sat absolutely still, staring off into space. Everything in me ached to see my husband, but I wanted to make sure my emotions were in control before I went to speak to Carlisle. I knew it was kind of absurd to be worried that he might reject my plan, but I couldn't let go of the uneasy feeling.

Finally I stood, straightening out my shirt and walked determinedly to Carlisle's study, hoping he was there. But before I even made it close to his office, I stopped myself, hearing voices from inside the room. I recognized Edward's voice.

"I can tell she wants this terribly but I want everyone to be safe."

Then Carlisle's voice came through the door. "She's always been very controlled. I think she's ready for this."

There was a pause before Edward replied. "She needs to know what she's going to tell him. He thinks she's dead, Carlisle."

"I'll help her figure it out, Edward. I think you are worrying too much about this. She wouldn't hurt anyone, least of all her husband."

I walked forward now, moving toward the closed door. I tried to keep my brain clear so Edward wouldn't read anything that would make him worry more. I tapped on the door and pushed it open when Carlisle called for me to come in.

He made no secret what Edward and he had been discussing. "Come, have a seat, please."

I sat down next to Edward. I looked at him and saw the worry etched in his face. I let out a soft sigh. "I suppose you know what I'm here to talk about."

Both nodded silently. I didn't continue and neither said anything for a few moments.

"Lisa, this could be dangerous," Edward said finally, as if trying to change my mind.

It's no use, Edward. I want this more than the next breath I take.

Carlisle gave Edward a soft but firm look. "I'm sorry, Carlisle, but she needs to know."

Carlisle didn't respond, but looked at me instead. "Do you feel like you're ready for this?"

I nodded. "I wouldn't do this if I wasn't positive."

"What will you tell him?"

"I don't know, but I was hoping all of you could help me," I threw a hopeful smile at Edward, trying to appease him with my peaceful mood. I want to do this right.

Edward sensed that I was ready to take every precaution with this and relaxed his body. I felt him slowly give in.

Then I looked at Carlisle. "Are there a lot of risks with this?"

"Well, there is the possibility that his blood will smell… extra delightful to you, or that he'll ignore you or try to explain you away as a hallucination, hurting you, however unintentional. He thinks you're dead, Lisa. You need to realize how he might react, seeing a wife he thinks is gone walk up to him looking like an angel."

I nodded solemnly. "I understand," I said in a small voice.

"Have you considered the fact that he might have moved on," Edward asked me, keeping his voice very low. He added, making his voice apologetic, "I just want you to be prepared for everything."

I had always prayed that maybe he would move on and find happiness, but when it came to this, to wanting to see him, it was hard to admit that I really wanted only him to be happy. I knew it was selfish of me, but I didn't want to see him in the arms of another woman. I didn't want another broken heart.

"It's not selfish to want that," Edward whispered to me.

"Lisa, have you asked Alice whether she's seen anything about this?"

I shook my head, wishing I had thought to ask her that. "Maybe we should ask her now?"

Carlisle looked at Edward, asking him something mentally.

"Yes, I think we can proceed with this. We'll have everyone there, of course, to help her."

With that, the door opened behind us and Alice pranced in. "You wanted me?"

Carlisle nodded and she took a seat on the arm of the chair Edward was sitting in. She must have been listening to the conversation because she closed her eyes to concentrate without being told anything.

It was about a minute later when she finally opened her eyes again, looking straight at me. It's all a bit hazy, but I think everything will go fine."

"You think," asked Edward skeptically. Then he was silent as she shared her vision with him. He relaxed against the back of the chair. "Yes, everything seems good."

Carlisle nodded. "Can you hear anything that can clue us in to how she should approach him?"

Alice shook her head. "It keeps changing, like Lisa hasn't made up her mind yet."

Carlisle looked at me. "What are some ideas?"

I had asked myself this same question over and over again, coming up clueless every time. "I don't know. You said I couldn't tell him anything about…who I am now."

Carlisle nodded. "Unless you plan to change him, but it would be bad if he hears you out and decides he doesn't want this life for himself."

"Okay. Maybe I can just ask him to trust me." I looked hopefully at Alice. She shrugged.

"It was one of the things I saw, and he seemed to respond well to that, but I cannot promise that he'll never get curious."

"Of course," I replied, looking down at my hands. Then I glanced over at Edward, an idea forming in my head. "Edward, how did you tell Bella?"

Edward was prepared for my question, so obviously he was closely monitoring my thoughts. "She figured it out all by herself. Jacob had told her an ancient story that was told to all the kids at the reservation, about vampires and werewolves. At that time, Jacob didn't believe anything about it, but Bella started to piece it together."

I bit my lip. "Maybe all I can hope for is that he'll trust me and that he still feels the same way about me."

Carlisle was about to speak up when Alice interrupted him. "There's no way we can be certain about anything in this situation. I cannot see his response very clearly and Lisa can always decide to change her method midway through all of this. I think it's best if we just drop the pieces and let them fall where they may."

Everyone was silent, contemplating this.

"Okay," Carlisle muttered, still seeming a bit unconvinced. But I was sure about what Alice had said. I knew that everything about this could change in an instant and that there was no way to plan for anything.