A/N Ok another chapter, been working hard on this between watching my L&O Dvds, i'll start the next chapter asap and i hope you all like :)
It was cold and dark when Casey started to wake up, the annoying ringing of her alarm clock sounded in the background, she rolled over and slammed her fist down to stop it. After the ringing stopped she sighed and snuggled back into her pillow, hoping for a few minutes extra sleep.
Cracking her eyes opened, she slowly shifted so she was on her back and look to her side, closing her eyes she shook her head trying to get rid of the sleepy haze that still hung around, she was definitely alone in her bed, but she hadn't been the previous night. She had had a bit to drink but no where near enough to get drunk, so she knew that Ilsa had gone to bed with her…But where was the detective now.
Begrudgingly Casey crawled out of bed and stumbled over to her bedroom door, it was slightly opened, pushing it further she peeked out into lounge room, sighing when she didn't see Ilsa anywhere. Rubbing her eyes, Casey made her way to the bathroom.
She shook her head as she walked in and saw a note attached to her mirror
'I was thinking of where to stick this note when I wrote it, next to the clock, on the door, wherever, then it hit me, I should put it where any self-respecting lawyer will look in the morning the mirror!'
Casey shook her head and could picture Ilsa smirking as she wrote this
'I would have told you I left but you looked so peaceful sleeping, how about we do lunch today? I assume lawyers eat normal food and don't just feed on the souls of others'
She was tempted to just scrunch up the note and toss it in the bin, even when she wasn't around Ilsa was making stupid jokes and taking shots at lawyers
'Anyway I couldn't sleep last night and rather than keep you awake I figured I'd leave, see you later
-Ilsa'
Casey shook her head and contemplated if she wanted to have lunch with the annoying detective, maybe it would be worth it, she sighed and started the shower, placing her hand under the water to test the heat and waiting till it was just right, she stepped in and let the warm water cascade over her skin Getting ready for another day at work.
***
Ilsa looked up from her spot on her couch to see it was time to get ready for work, she had been lazing around her apartment since she had come back from Casey's, though it wasn't the best idea she had decided to have a smoke of her 'special' stuff. Already having had a shower she jumped up and walked into her room and pulled out whatever was in her path, settling on a pair of black pants and a deep purple shirt, she put on a black vest and donned her fedora.
She looked in the mirror to make sure she wouldn't scare any young children
'hmm' she thought running a finger along the dark bags under her eyes 'No worse then it normally is' She quickly brushed her hair and seeing that no matter what she did it was going to just hang there, she pushed her fringe out of her eyes and decided she looked good enough for work, not like she really cared what she looked like anyway.
Fetching her keys, she got her badge and gun and left her apartment, deciding today would be a good day to take the car, she quietly made her way to work, trying not to think about the night before, and Casey's warm body pressed against hers 'Stop it Ilsa!' she snapped at herself 'that kind of thinking will only lead to bad things'
"So where are we on this case?" Asked Cragen
"No where, we still don't know who did it, Emily won't tell us, she's scared" Said Fin
"So then un-scare her" Cragen said as he turned around and headed for his office
Ilsa shrugged off her jacket and went to hang it when Fin spotted her
"Don't we gotta go talk to Emily and get her to tell us who did it"
"Did we get anything from the rape kit? When I asked she had just been bought in, maybe they found something" Ilsa said
"I'll check, right now we need to talk to Emily and get her to tell us who did this"
Ilsa nodded "Maybe if we bring in Sam to, if there together Emily might talk"
"Well we better do it soon, Cragen wants us to hurry up and find someone" Fin said nodded in the direction of Captain Cragen's office. Ilsa sighed and walked to her desk, sitting down she picked up the phone and dialled a number.
Ilsa gently placed the phone down and turned to Fin
"Emily is out of the hospital, so if we want to see her we have to go to her house, I don't know if she's willing to make the journey here"
"Oh so lets go and talk to the girl, see if we can get anything out of her"
***
Ilsa let out a slow whistle as Fin pulled up in front of a large two story house
"Damn..." she mumbled as she stepped out of the car.
The pair slowly made their way to the front door and knocked.
"So...you got a kid?" Fin asked nonchalantly
Ilsa smiled, she had forgotten Fin and Munch had seen josh the other day
"Yeah I've got a little boy, Josh, he's a sweetheart"
"How old is he?"
"He's twelve today, it's his birthday" she said with a smile
"You musta been young when you had him"
"Uh…Yeah I was, I was sixteen when i had the little bugger"
Fin chuckled "He looks like you...but why didn't you tell us you're a mom?"
Ilsa stiffened "You know now, better late then never right?" she said with a nervous smile
Ilsa was interrupted as someone opened the door, Fin and Ilsa straightened their attire and smiled.
"Hello Detectives" Said Jonathan as he saw who it was on the other side if the door "What can I do for you?"
"We need to talk to Emily again Sir" Ilsa said as politely as she could.
"She only just got out of the hospital, she's still really shaken up, I-I don't know if it's a good idea" he muttered uncomfortably, clearly he didn't want anyone to upset his daughter.
Fin moved closer to the pastor "Look I know she's upset, but if we don't talk to her we won't be able to get the man who did this to her"
Jonathan sighed but held the door tight, debating whether or not to let the two detectives in his home. Slowly he opened the door wider and stepped aside leaving enough room for them to get past. They made their way through the house, no one said anything until they came into the family room and saw Emily curled up on a couch, her mother comforting her.
Emily looked up, saw Ilsa and sighed "I told you i don't remember anything!' she whined
Carissa turned around and glared at the two detectives "Stop harassing my daughter, what are you doing bother us when you should be out there catching the monster who did this"
"We would Mrs Taucher" Ilsa said firmly "But we can't do a lot unless we find out mre about who could have done this, Emily is there anyone you can think of"
"I thought it was that Carl Reyes, he was always a bad person" Carrisa snapped
"MOM!" Emily yelled "You used to say he was a nice young boy, why do you hate him"
"Oh darling" she cooed "That whole family is immoral" Emily looked shocked as the words left her mothers mouth.
Ilsa walked closer and stood next to Emily on the couch, careful not et to close and bump one of her injury's
"I've talked to Samantha" she said softly "I know about her and you and how you two are-"
"FRIENDS!" Emily screamed loudly, eyes wide "Samantha and I are friends
Carissa scoffed at her daughter "How can you be friends with her?"
Isa looked between the two, and quickly figured out what was happening, Emily's family didn't know she was gay, it made sense, her family was extremely religious she was scared of what would happened if she told them she was gay, and in a relationship with someone they clearly didn't like and if she named the person they might not believe her.
"Are you absolutely sure you don't remember anything, it doesn't matter if it seems insignificant, anything at all will help us" Ilsa softly added
Emily looked from her mother to Fin and Ilsa, it was easy to see the pain in the young woman's eyes, she shook her head "No…" stammered.
Ilsa looked and Fin and shook her head slowly, both had been hoping she would tell them something, so far they had nothing "Well remember if you can think of anything call us, any bit of information counts" Fin added as he and Ilsa made there way back to the door.
"Hold up" The female detective whispered, grabbing Fin by the shoulder
"Would you mind if we spoke to Joel?" she asked Jonathan
Jonathan smiled sadly "I'm afraid you cant, he's not home at the moment, but I'll be sure to tell him you wish to speak with him"
"Alright" Ilsa mumbled as she opened the door and left the huge house.
"Well that blows chunks" She complained as she sat in the passenger seat of the car, waiting for Fin to get in.
"What now?" he asked as he put the key in the ignition and started the engine, it growled to life as he pulled out of the drive way.
"We see if we got anything at all from the kit they did, hopefully they did"
"And if not?"
Ilsa sighed heavily and didn't answer the question, she didn't know what to do if they didn't get anything from the kit, she remembered them saying they didn't find any hairs or semen but maybe she got a piece of him, even the smallest bit would help, it was a long shot, but it would help them a lot if it panned out.
***
Ilsa flops into her seat and pinches the bridge of her nose, taking a few deep breaths.
"Hey Ilsa we've got some good news" Said Fin as he walked up a few minutes later
"What?" she asked dryly, she didn't mean to take any anger of frustration out on Fin, she was just in a bad mood now.
'there was some skin and blood under her nails, thought it was hers at first after that beating, once we get the results back we'll see if we can match it to anyone in the system"
Ilsa smiled "That's great news, now we just have to wait and hope the guy who did this is in the system"
"Hey don't beat yourself up, we'll find this guy" He assured her
Ilsa nodded but didn't say anything, she was getting lost in thought, they had found something that was good, it might not match anyone in the system that was bad, Emily was scared and wouldn't talk, but Ilsa knew that the girl remembered something if not everything.
Now it was a waiting game for the DNA results, she was running out of leads and the case was going nowhere quickly, Carissa was stirring up attention putting more pressure on the detectives.
"So how is your case going?" Asked Olivia as she walked through the doors and hung up her dark leather jacket. Turning around she went and grabbed a cup of coffee for herself and Ilsa.
The Australian smiled as she took the cup from her friend "Oh its going peachy, Emily wont talk, the person we thought did it Carl Reyes, everyone else says he didn't he's to much of a sweetie, the person we got told to look at Asael Garcia is a devout christen and great all American boy and has an alibi!" she rambled, taking a deep breath she looked at Olivia and gave sad smile "So all in all, it's going great"
Elliot and Munch wondered in as Ilsa finished her mini rant, wondering what she was going on about
"So what your back to square one?" Olivia asked
"Why square one?" Ilsa asked in all seriousness "Why not a circle, or hexagon oh OOOh a dodecahedron!"
Olivia's brow furrowed I confusion "what? Where did that come from?" she asked with a hint of humour "How did you even become a detective?"
"Pity" Ilsa offered with a grin "They felt sorry for me so they gave me the badge"
The detectives shared a laugh, only for a few moments before they had to get back to work.
Ilsa swang around in her chair and picked up her phone, the phone Rang a few times before someone picked up on the other end
"Hello" a deep voice said
"Hi this is detective Couri, is Samantha Reyes there?" she asked
"Just a second"
The line went quiet, Ilsa shifted in her chair trying to get comfortable, she was hoping her new plan would work. She could hear quiet voices on the other end of the line.
"Hello?" Samantha asked
"Samantha, detective Couri here"
"Yeah I know, what do you need?"
"It's about Emily, she remembers something but she won't talk to me-"
"And you think her parents will let me talk to her?" Sam cut Ilsa off
"Emily is old enough to talk to us on her own she doesn't need her parents around to talk to us"
"And what are you thinking?" The woman on the end of the line asked her interesting piquing
"If I can get her to come in , will you meet me here, she won't talk to me alone but maybe if you're here she will"
Samantha didn't say anything but Ilsa could still hear her breathing. Sam was mulling it over in her head, she wanted no she needed to help Emily in any way she could.
"Call me and I'll be there" there was a click and the line went dead, Ilsa gently placed the phone back down and smiled
'well that went a lot better than I thought' she thought as she considered what could happen if she got Emily and Samantha together...Well hopefully it wouldn't be anything bad. Ilsa mind was mulling over a lot of things, as was often the case, she was thinking about the case, who to get Emily to tell them the truth, the DNA sample and the small chance it would give them their perp, her son and his birthday 'hmm I still need to pick up his present' and the nagging thoughts of their ADA that kept popping up when she really wished it would just stop.
"Ilsa"
Why couldn't she stop thinking about Casey, they were just friends, that's all either of them wanted right?
"Ilsa?"
Of course it was, Casey had told her that she was straight, I quote 'I'm not gay' right so stop thinking about it…
"Iiiiilsa?"
You're only thinking about her because she's a good friend, you don't have a whole lot of those, and she puts up with you, its nothing else, just a good friendship
"Ilsa!" Ilsa jumped when Fin put his hand of her shoulder
"You ok, I was trying to get your attention"
Ilsa nodded and pinched the bridge of her nose "yeah, I guess I'm a little distracted sorry, what's up?"
"We got the results back" Fin said
Ilsa stood up quickly out of her chair a smile on her face, her fingers crosses "Please tell me he's in the system"
Fin shook his head glumly
Ilsa groaned her disappointment "So all we need to do no is figure out who's DNA it is…" she rubbed her chin and "Easy as pie" she mumbled.
"Who do you think it was?" Asked Olivia from her desk
Ilsa ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes, trying to think "I think…" she said reaching to grab her notes "Asael Garcia"
"What?" Asked Elliot "You think it was him" Ilsa just nodded
"But' he's a good christen kid with an alibi and a clean record how can you think he did it"
"Because Emily and Samantha told me that Carl couldn't have, and who's to say Joel isn't lying about the alibi" Ilsa said taking a deep breath "And just because someone is religious doesn't mean they're a good person"
"So because he's Christen you think he did it? that doesn't seem fair" Elliot retorted
Ilsa turned to face him "I'm not saying it's him because he's religious I don't give a damn if he believes a big man in the sky made everything, or if he believes there is a different god for every little thing or if he worships a cheese wheel, he's a suspect because Samantha told me he had a thing for Emily"
"And you believe Samantha's word, the word of someone who was kicked out of the church and is most likely angry about it" Elliot's temper was rising
"Yes, because what reason does she have to lie? she wants to find out who hurt Emily as much as we do, she's no longer aloud in the church but that doesn't matter to her because she has what she wants"
"Oh and what's that?" asked Elliot
"A woman she loves and who loves her back, she and Emily are in a relationship, hey maybe that's why Emily got attacked and raped, because someone found out she's a lesbian and told Asael and he got jealous"
"She's a lesbian?" Asked Elliot confused his annoyance subsiding for the moment
"Yeah it's easy to see, and it makes sense she won't say who did it, she's scared, she doesn't want to be disowned, and she's probably scared she'll be hurt again and shunned by everyone…maybe even get told she deserve it"
"Maybe if she just comes out and tells-"
"It's not just that simple telling someone your gay" Ilsa cut him off "And as for the rape of course she's scared, she was violated in one of the worst possible ways, you wouldn't know what kind of thoughts pass through your mind unless you've had someone touch you in a way you don't want, you can work this job for years and never really know what you would do until in that situation"
"What and I suppose you know?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Ilsa was stressed, she was getting angry, she didn't want to get angry and yell at Elliot, it was just a disagreement, they often had them when they disagreed on a case, but she couldn't stop herself, she needed some air to clear her head. After her confessions last night and another nearly sleepless night, she was a little emotional.
"Yes" was all Ilsa said as she walked out of the squad room
Elliot didn't say anything, he just tried to process what she had said "What did she say?" he asked
The room was quiet, and everyone looked at each other trying to get an answer that no one had.
Fin walked out after Ilsa, asking passing people is they had seen her.
Ilsa was up on the roof, taking deep breaths 'oh why did I say that, I should have just let Elliot tell me his opinion' she mentally smacked herself; she rubbed her eyes and shook her head wondering what she would now
"You ok?" Came Fins voice from behind her, she didn't turn just kept staring over the city and nodded solemnly
"What were you talking about back there?" he asked gently as she stood next to her
Ilsa shook her head again "No you don't want to know, hell I don't want to know"
"You know I got your back right?" he smiled
Ilsa let out a soft laugh "Yeah I know you do, I just…"
"Just what, you can tell me Ilsa, your secrets safe with me, if you need to talk"
Ilsa smiled at Fin "Yeah I know" she paused for a moment considering what to tell him next, tell him what happened to her, or not she hadn't talked about it in so long she wondered if she could "Thanks" she said and leaned in and kissed him on the cheek
"Can you tell the Captain that I've left?" she asked while she turned to walked back inside
"Sure but why?" he asked following behind her.
"I need to go see someone, shouldn't be long" Fin nodded and Ilsa walked out of the building as he made his way back to the squad room 'strange girl' he thought as he sat at his desk, everyone else silently getting back to work.
***
George Huang sat at his desk, going over papers in his quiet office, he heard the door open and saw Ilsa standing in front of him.
"Detective?" he asked in his usual gentle voice
Ilsa smiled "Ilsa, just call me Ilsa"
He nodded and the room went quiet after that
"George I need help" she said with a tight voice
He let out a soft laugh "Would you like to say down on the couch?" he asked with a smile
"That might be good" she mumbled
George sat a little straighter in his chair after hearing that "Ilsa what's wrong?"
Ilsa starting fidgeting, trying to figure out why she had come here, figuring out where, if at all she should start, and if George would even want to help her, most of the time people didn't.
"I uh…" she took a seat across from him and looked down at the ground "I don't know what to do, I don't want to talk but people keep telling me I should, but no one ever really listened before and I'm scared if I talk I'll be left worse then before and it's just getting hard to handle and I don't want it to interfere with work, but I really think I need some help I just don't know where to get it" she took a deep breath after her long rant and continued to look down "B-but you're busy I shouldn't have bothered you" she started t stand up when George stopped her
"Ilsa…what are you talking about, what's wrong?" his voice kind and gentle as he tried to get the obviously emotional detective to open up.
Ilsa's bottom lips started to tremble and she fought to keep tears hidden. "M-My uh father…he" she could look George in the eyes, what he think if she told him the truth, people had hated her for lesser things, would he look at her the same, or with disgust. Maybe it wasn't the time to figure it out, maybe it would be easier to keep her pain to herself, why be a burden on a friend
"He what Ilsa? You can tell me and no one else will know, it'll just be between you and I" he urged softly
Ilsa's throat was tight and she wasn't sure if she could get the words out. She took a deep breath and opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to get the words out, but they wouldn't come, she bit her bottom lip and shook her head 'come on Ilsa, you've come this far, maybe it'll be different this time'
"My Father abused me…" she said, finally looking up to gauge Georges reaction, he gave a soft smiled and leaned back in his chair.
"When did it first start?" he asked
Ilsa smiled slightly, hopeful that George would be different from the others shrinks she had talked to in the past, she cleared her throat "When I was six…"
***
It had been almost two hours since Ilsa had left, Olivia was starting to get a little worried, she knew pretty much everything about Ilsa, she knew what the girl was talking about, and she hoped Elliot didn't think to badly of her.
Her worries ceased when she was Ilsa walk in a smile on her face and a cage in her hand, she put the cage on her desk and continued into the captains office
***
"Where were you?" asked Donald when he saw Ilsa
"I went to talk to George" she said awkwardly
Cragen put his pen down and looked up at her with a questioning face "And?..."
"I think he might be able to help"
Cragen had wanted to be angry with Ilsa, but after hearing that she was starting to get help he couldn't, he sighed "Don't leave next time unless I say you can"
"Yes sir!" she said with a stern face and a salute
"I'm glad you're getting help" generly happy that she was putting in an effort and not just pushing her problems aside
Ilsa shrugged "We don't know if it's working yet, we'll have to wait and see"
he looked at his watch "Well you better go if you want to make it on time"
Ilsa quickly made her way part the desk and wrapped her arms around her captains neck "Thank you" she mumbled before pulling back "You want to come by tonight? I'm sure Josh would be happy to see you"
"I might, but don't tell him in case I cant make it"
Ilsa nodded and made her way to the door "Tell him happy birthday for me!" he called after her.
***
Ilsa stepped out and saw Elliot at his desk, she walked up and stood behind him, gently she tapped him on the shoulder
"I'm sorry, about earlier" she offered him with a smile
Elliot sighed "it's ok, it's been a pretty stressful week"
"We cool?" she asked hold out her fist
Elliot bumped her fist "Yeah we're cool"
"Excellent!" she said as she made her way to grab her cage
"hey what's in there?" asked Olivia
Ilsa couldn't hide the grin "Wanna see? It's Josh's present"
Olivia nodded and she and Elliot turned and watched as Ilsa opened the cage and pulled out a bundle of fur, the fur made a whimper noise and Ilsa held it.
"Aw" exclaimed Olivia and she got up and walked over "You got Josh a puppy?" she asked petting it's head "What kind is it?"
Ilsa shrugged "I'm not sure what kind of dog it is, but he's been asking for one and I thought he might like her, isn't that right" she said holding the puppy to her face, once it was close enough it started to lick her nose.
"She's adorable" Olivia said "So it's his birthday?" she asked as Ilsa placed the happy fur ball back in it's cage
"Yeah if you want you can stop by" she said quickly scribbling a note "This is the address"
And with that Ilsa sauntered out of the squad room and made her way home to get ready for her son's birthday party.
A/N Yay! i am a very happy Panda after finishing this chapter, hopefully I'll have the rest done soon, hope you are enjoying reading cause i am really enjoying writing :) R&R