…And in the Ninth Hour…

Remus rubbed at his aching side. He hadn't expected to laugh himself hoarse for the…what was it? The third time that day? But he had. As soon as Lily had come out of the bathroom with Sirius's boxers, he had fallen to the ground and howled with laughter.

And from the sounds of it, this unexpected event had also caused Peter and James to lose it and he could hear them also wild with amusement.

Sirius, however, had failed to see the humor in it all, and had glared at Lily. Then, it was another screaming match. At least that was what Sirius had tried to create, but Lily had slumped against the wall and was also laughing.

Sirius ended up stuffing his underwear in his pocket and glowering at the lot of them from Debbie's bed.

This had gone on for a good while before anyone calmed down.

"So, wait a second," Lily asked in between bouts of laughter, "you don't know what a pound is, but you know who the Hulk is?"

Sirius didn't answer this. If he had, he would have told them that he did, in fact, know what a pound was; he had only pretended not to know earlier just to push Lily's buttons a little more.

He had read comic books, a lot of guys that he knew did. It didn't matter that they were written by muggles; they were still good stories. But he failed to mention to anyone that he had bought the underwear. He never thought anyone else would see them, so it hadn't much mattered to him.

Finally, he had had enough.

"Ok," he said loudly, "I wear Hulk underwear." This was met by screams of laughter from everyone. "But I'm being judged by dating a Slytherin, changes into a werewolf every month, drawings on his face, and red haired anger issues?" He scoffed. "Hell no I'm not."

The laughter died down, except for James who found it even funnier knowing that Sirius really thought he was dating a Slytherin.

"Who's dating a Slytherin?" Lily asked, confused.

"It seems that Prongs here has gotten over his little fancy for you, Evans." Sirius said loudly to be heard over James's increasing hysterical laughter. "He's dating a Slyther-" But Sirius was cut off from finishing this sentence by Lily, who had busted into laughter again.

It was another long while before this stopped. Not until Lily was hiccoughing heap on the floor, and James was a whimpering heap on the bed, was there finally silence.

Sirius was over in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest and glaring at them, Peter was blanching at the thought of having to go another whole week with these drawings on his face, and Remus was thinking.

He was slowly starting to put the pieces together in his head. Lily and James were acting abnormally. And though the strange behavior wasn't necessarily out there for everyone to see (in other words, you had to really look to see there was something wrong) Remus was sure that they were hiding something.

He was almost positive that they must be going out—and he shuddered to think about what they must have done in the bathroom together with him just feet away and oblivious.

They were suddenly nice to each other—weird. Lily hadn't yelled at James nearly half as much as she had the rest of them about being locked in here—weird. They had disappeared into the bathroom together in silence and then reappeared looking slightly flushed—very weird.

And the fact that James was clearly hiding something and that he had played Sirius earlier when he had tried to find it out was not lost on Remus.

But, Remus told himself, he would find out sooner or later what James was hiding. He had found out from a young age that he couldn't stand not knowing things. If someone had a secret he HAD to know or the curiosity would just eat him up. Though he was pretty sure what their secret was, he had to dig it out of James.

And while just asking James would probably be the best way to get an honest answer, it wasn't any fun. It's no fun to do things the nice way where you save everyone some embarrassment. No, Remus was going to make sure that everyone in the dorm knew before the night was over.

Why?

Because he's Remus.

On the other side of the room, Sirius was thinking the exact opposite thing. He couldn't figure why James had betrayed all of them and gone out with a Slytherin. It was so cruel of him. HOW could his best mate flip sides like that? All the years they had been at Hogwarts and never once had they been nice to a Slytherin and vice versa.

It didn't occur to Sirius not once that James was making the story up. Never had James lied to him before, so why would he start now? Well…except for that one time on Halloween when he told him that Gene Simmons was hiding in his closet and was going to eat him if he came near it.

This was NOT amusing because Sirius had always been freaked out by that creepy muggle band with their tongues and their face paint and their—OK, he had to stop thinking about it.

But he didn't go near his closet for a week after that.

But no, James would not lie about something like that. Of that he was positive. Well…mostly positive. About eighty percent…ok seventy…maybe sixty five…

Was James lying? It would be VERY out of character for him to start dating a Slytherin. He had, after all, mooned over Lily Evans for years. OK, he had to find out. He HAD to know if James was lying. Because if he wasn't, then Sirius would personally straighten out whatever had happened to James's head.

James was still lying on one of the beds, holding his aching stomach. He had laughed so hard today he was surprised he hadn't had an aneurism. But the night wasn't over yet, there was still hope.

Uh—he meant um…What did he mean?

He had just rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed, with his hands on his knees when Remus approached him.

"Prongs," he nodded his head at him. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

Lily, who had settled herself back on her bed and was trying to discreetly eat her crackers, forced herself not to look over at them in alarm.

James also tried not to panic because he knew that look in Remus's eye. He knew. And James knew that he knew which just made things worse. He could refuse to go into the bathroom with him, but if he did that, there was no doubt in his mind that Remus would just blurt it out right here in front of everyone.

So James only had one choice.

"Er, sure, ok mate," he ruffled his hair awkwardly as he stood and followed Remus into the bathroom. No one noticed the glance that he and Lily shared.

It was when the door closed that Sirius realized what Remus was doing. He was trying to find out James's secret. Hm…ok then. It might be crazy thinking of such things, but Sirius had to wonder if Lily knew what James's secret was. She had, after all, spent time with him in the bathroom and they had been nice to each other all week. Maybe they had become friends. Maybe she knew. MAYBE he could get it out of her.

His hands in his pockets, he strolled over to Lily's bed and stared at her. Hm…she was looking a bit worried, but she looked like she was trying to hide it. Interesting. VERY interesting STUFF.

"Hullo Lily," he said pleasantly as he sat on the edge of her bed and stretched his legs out lazily in front of him.

"Black, what are you doing?"

"Oh…NOTHING. Nothing at all…Wonder what they're talking about in there."

Lily chewed on her bottom lip nervously. Surely Sirius didn't know. Sirius was…well…Sirius. Remus she would have expected to figure it out, but Sirius…No, surely not. Whatever she did, she couldn't give anything away. She shrugged one shoulder.

"I don't know; why don't you go ask?" She asked.

"Actually, I think I will," he turned his head quickly (and a little freakily in Lily's opinion) and stared at her. "What's his secret? I know you know, Evans, tell me, tell me, TELL ME!"

"Shut-up!" She shushed him because Peter was looking over at them suspiciously.

"No, you have to tell me!" He said quickly, but it was in a whisper. "Tell me now! Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, TELL ME!"

Lily sat and stared at him as he continued on. Did he really think that that was going to work?

"-Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, OH, and what was I going to say? Oh yeah—TELL ME!"

"BLACK!" She hissed. "Shut-up!" She frantically searched her mind for something to distract him with. "Uh…ok, can you keep a secret?" She asked him and he nodded happily, reminding her strongly of her five-year-old cousin.

"Ok," she said quietly and he leaned towards her. "If you shut-up and leave me alone, I'll give you a cracker."

Sirius perked up like a…well, like a dog at the mention of food. His back straightened and his eyes widened and Lily was sure that if he had a tail it would be wagging right this second.

"Do you want a cracker?" She asked.

He started nodding vigorously at this, his stomach grumbling at the mention of food. It had been hours since he last ate. "YES!" He hollered, causing Peter to fall off of the window sill.

Peter got up, grumbling and went back to his seat, all the while glaring murderously at Sirius.

"Sirius, you have to be quiet." Lily scolded. "Now if you stop pestering me, you get a cracker. Does Sirius want a cracker?"

He continued nodding with a gleeful grin in place. "Yes, yes Evans, Sirius wants a cracker!"

"Can Sirius leave me alone?" She asked, feeling more ridiculous by the second, "and can Sirius keep a secret about the crackers?"

He kept nodding and then actually let out a little whine.

"Then hide over there so Peter can't see you," Lily motioned to the floor on the other side of her bed. From where he was, Peter couldn't see him it at all. Sirius scrambled over her bed (wrinkling everything) and onto the floor.

Three minutes earlier, Remus closed the door to the bathroom and fixed James with the most serious stare he could muster. He was actually quite good at this, but he wasn't sure if it would work on James since he knew him so well.

But what would it hurt to try? NOTHING, that's what!

"I know, James. I really know." He added when he saw James's skeptical look.

"Mhmm," James nodded. "And what is it that you know?"

"About you and Lily. I know everything."

Remus watched James's face closely but the other boy didn't even blink. Instead, he looked at him like he was crazy.

"Erm, what's that?" James laughed.

"Don't laugh; I know what you two were doing in the bathroom." At this, Remus glanced down at the rug on the floor—a little grossed out.

James snorted loudly, startling Remus. "Yeah Moony, you got us, we came in here, shagged in less than ten minutes, and stayed quiet the entire time." James continued to laugh.

Remus was feeling kind of insulted. He KNEW that he was right. But…James seemed so very amused. And so very…non-guilty. But he had to remember: James Potter was the best liar he'd ever met, hands down. He was not going to convince him that he and Lily weren't together.

"James, you can't lie to me, I know you."

"I'm not lying." James said and to Remus's irritation he seemed perfectly sincere when he said that. "Though I wish I was. You know that."

Remus narrowed his eyes at him. "You and Lily aren't together?"

"No." James responded without hesitation.

"Are you sure?"

"What—of course I am."

"James."

"Er…Remus."

"You're lying."

"NO I'm not!"

"Yes, you ARE."

"Er, no."

"Yes." Remus crossed his arms over his chest determinedly. This was not an argument that he was going to lose.

"NO!"

"Yes, James."

"No, REMUS."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"YES! I mean-"

"AHA!" Remus pointed a triumphant finger at James who was looking quite annoyed.

"You messed me up!" James countered.

"You said yes," Remus smirked.

"I also said no." James said in a monotone.

"Whatever mate, but you and Lily are in looooove." Remus grinned as James glared at him.

"I'm leaving now." James pouted and turned for the door.

"Ok, lover boy," Remus muttered and James whirled around at him.

"I am not! Don't call me that!"

Oh yes, Remus was one hundred percent certain of it now. He was feeling quite proud of himself. James was starting to not only look annoyed, but also alarmed in a subdued sort of way. He'd never tried to wearing people down by annoying them to death before; that had been Sirius's area of expertise.

"Moony, I—er, promise that I'm not lying."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Ok, lover boy. Whatever you say."

"Stop calling me that!" James yelled. "I'm going back out there now. And…don't lie to everyone else."

Remus grinned. "Of course, lover boy, your secret is safe with me."

James opened the door and sauntered out, looking grumpy as he made his way over to Debbie's bed. As soon as he had settled in on his back, Remus walked out into the dorm, feeling quite evil. Oh YES, VERY evil indeed.

Clapping his hands together, he rubbed them gleefully. "Attention everyone," he said loudly, "But James has just informed me that he and Lily are in fact…a couple."