Tara visibly stiffened but she managed a small nod of her head.
"March 6th. Mom's birthday."
Michelle put her hands on her knees and took a deep breath. She wasn't quite sure how to go about saying what she wanted to say to Tara. To ask her. She wasn't sure if it was her place or whether it might even cause a rift, but it had been playing on her mind a lot since she had been reunited with her niece, and had the focus of heavy thought over the past few weeks as her sister's birthday drew near.
She pondered for a moment how to phrase things before settling on just being direct and honest.
"I wanted to ask...I have no idea how you would feel about this, but I thought...I've never visited your mother's grave."
Michelle saw Tara's eyebrow shot up and quickly continued.
"I couldn't attend her funeral. Your father made me think I'd cause you great harm by attending. And then after...sometimes I contemplated going to visit, at a time when I knew your father wouldn't be there, but...I just couldn't. I even got into the car a few times, got onto the highway towards Buffalo. But I never got to there. I always felt too guilty, like I would be damaging her memory by visiting. I realise how silly that is now."
Michelle gave a momentary self-deprecating sigh before shaking it off. It wasn't the time to dwell on the small amount of guilt she still carried over her sister's death. Tara was waiting for her to continue and she wasn't about to leave her niece wondering why she'd brought up such a sensitive topic.
"I was wondering... This year, for her birthday, I was...well, I think it's about time I pay a visit. I'm finally ready, able to. And I thought, if you might like to come visit with me too. You and Willow," she said, wondering if she should have spoken at all when she saw fear instantly flash in her niece's eyes, "That's only if you wanted, of course. I can imagine you wouldn't want to step foot near that town after all you've told me and all you were put through. I, um... I don't know if you remember, but we'd arrive at the...at the graveyard... before we actually go into the town, so you wouldn't have to see familiar landmarks or anything. You definitely wouldn't have to go anywhere near the...his house."
Michelle saw a flurry of emotion cross her niece's face in a matter of moments. There was shock and sadness, but most of all there was fear. Michelle could see the mere notion of her father terrified Tara to no end and again cursed that someone could have hurt Tara the way Michael Maclay had.
Just as she was about to jump up and embrace Tara in a hug, to apologise for ever bringing up the subject in the first place, she saw something else flash in her niece's eyes. Conviction.
She knew she had to just wait for Tara to speak.
Tara felt her own lip tremble slightly as she thought about going anywhere near the town she was brought up in, having vowed never to step a foot in it again the moment she got out.
But Michelle bringing up the graveyard had made her mind flood with memories. It had been a place of weekly refuge for her from ages 10-18; where she'd go and talk to her mother, fill her in on what was happening in her life and beg her to give her the strength to get through whatever abuse her father hurled at her when she got home.
So she remembered the route. She knew she wouldn't have to enter the actual town that she had grown up in, nor be within a 5 miles radius of her father's house. The house of horrors, as it had become after her mother's death.
A part of her wanted to not care about the physical landmarks. It was just a town, after all, just a house. Empty architecture that didn't mean anything. But they represented so much pain for her. And she couldn't imagine a situation where she could ever reconcile that.
But that wasn't the situation. Michelle was asking her to go to her mother's grave. The only place in eight years of hell that had been a safe haven. And she thought it was about time she visited again. To bring Willow.
To honour her mother's birthday and freshen up her burial place. Her father hadn't once visited her grave in the eight years she'd lived with him, saying it was a pointless exercise in talking to the ground, so she could only assume no one had taken care of it like she used to when she was growing up and felt angry at herself for allowing that to happen.
Michelle patiently waited for an answer as thoughts flew in and out of Tara's head until she finally met her aunt's gaze and spoke, her voice breaking with emotion.
"I'll come. I'll definitely come. And I'll bring Willow."
"That's adorable," Michelle commented fondly as Willow showed her and Ira their holiday photos, "You look so in love."
The photo in question was taken outside the Louvre on one of the colder days they'd had in Paris; both girls in hats, gloves and scarves with their arms wrapped around each other, Willow's foot popping up behind her and both of them grinning wildly.
"We are," Willow said, looking up from her position on the sofa between Michelle and her father, at Tara, who was still on the sofa opposite.
She gave the blonde a loving smile.
Tara managed a weak smile back, though her mind was completely pre-occupied with the thoughts of visiting her mother's grave the following weekend.
Ira and Willow had rejoined herself and Michelle in the living room shortly after Tara had agreed to the visit to the graveyard and Tara had been happy to see they were both smiling, deducing that her wife had gotten over the initial shock and mild horror of the encounter they'd walked in on earlier.
The older two had started asking about the trip after that and Willow excitedly told them about everything they'd seen and done, producing the camera after a while, along with the mini-eiffel tower keychains they'd gotten everyone as presents.
Willow saw her wife's feeble smile and frowned for a moment at the reaction but shrugged it off, assuming the blonde was just a little tired from jet lag. She continued to flick through and explain all the photographs she'd taken until Ira and Michelle declared they'd leave to let the younger couple unpack and settle back into their house for the evening.
Willow gave her father a hug as he left and watched as Michelle hugged her wife. Tara hugged back but Willow was very aware of the stiff, almost worried demeanour the blonde was showing.
When Ira and Michelle had driven out of the driveway, Willow closed the door and turned to her wife, quietly taking her hand and leading her up the stairs and into their bedroom. She walked them over to their bed and lay down on her side, pulling Tara into the same position beside her.
She then tucked a piece of blonde hair behind the taller girl's ear before softly cupping her cheek and leaning forwards to place a gentle kiss on her lips.
"Tell me what's going on in that beautiful head of yours."
Tara closed her eyes momentarily before opening them and looking at Willow in wonder.
"How do you know me so well?"
Willow moved her hand to smooth down Tara's hair under her palm, quietly taking in her features.
"You're the most interesting thing I've ever studied," she said after a moment, fixing her gaze on the blonde's, "Is it this thing with Dad and Michelle?"
Tara gave a quiet laugh and shook her head.
"No, not at all," she replied, having almost forgotten about that development with everything else going on in her head. She remembered Willow's reaction though, so thought her wife might have some issue with it, "How do you feel about that?"
Willow inhaled deeply, looking like she was in thought for a minute before speaking.
"It's...weird," she admitted after a moment, "But Dad...he's...he's really happy."
Tara smiled and nodded. She had noticed the way Ira's eyes lit up every time he looked at Michelle while they'd been looking through photographs. And how Michelle smiled every time she caught him looking at her.
"So's she."
Willow seemed pleased at that and widened her smile.
"That's all that matters, right? Although, I kinda hope if it does all work out, they don't get married."
"Why?" Tara asked, thinking her wife might still be struggling with her parent's divorce.
"'Cause then we'd be cousins!" Willow exclaimed, quite serious, "And kissing cousins at that!"
Tara started giggling, snuggling in closer to the smaller girl's body before adopting a mock-serious tone.
"Well technically, we would've gotten married first, so I think that nullifies any weird cousin clauses."
Willow smiled and ran her hand down the blonde's arm. She was happy to see her wife smiling but she could still tell there was something pretty heavy playing on Tara's mind.
"Talk to me."
Tara closed her eyes for a few moments as she gathered her thoughts before speaking.
"Michelle asked if I'd...we'd...go and visit Mom's grave next Saturday."
Willow's eyes widened slightly as her mind subconsciously worked through the information.
"That's her birthday," she said quietly after a moment, remembering because Tara always had a hard time on her mother's birthday, "You wanna visit for her birthday?"
"Yea," Tara nodded, not surprised Willow had remembered the significance of the day; she'd always helped her through the sadness on that particular date, "The graveyard, it's not...it's about five miles out of the town I grew up in, just outside Rochester. Anyway, what I mean is it's away from all the...memories. I used to visit every week, I'd ride my bike over and back. I think it's time I go back. I think it's time I introduce you, as best I can anyway."
Willow played with the ends of the blonde's hair, curling it around her fingers for a few moments as she reflected on what her wife had just said. Tara watched a flurry of emotion pass through the redhead's eyes, but two most evident ones were love and concern.
"I know what you're thinking," Tara spoke up again after a few minutes of silence, "My...he never visited. He could be dead for all I know, his liver probably gave out years ago. I just...my memory of my mom shouldn't suffer anymore because of..."
Willow moved her hand back up to cup he wife's cheek, shuffling her body forwards so their faces were just inches apart.
"You have my full and complete support, Tara, always. I'm gonna hold your hand the whole time."
Tara exhaled through her nose and brought her hand up to softly massage the back of the smaller girl's neck, letting their lips meet in a slow, languid kiss before pulling back and fixing her gaze on her wife's.
"Thank you."
"Never thank me for loving you," Willow replied, smiling when she saw Tara's eyes droop and try to suppress a yawn, "That jetlag kicking in, huh? Why don't you have a nap?"
Willow thought her wife's sudden tiredness was probably more to do with the intense emotions that must've been coursing through her for the better part of the afternoon than jetlag but either way she figured a small nap would do her good.
"It's too early," Tara protested weakly, "Need to get back into a proper sleep cycle."
"I won't let you sleep too long," Willow promised, "I'll get you up in an hour and we'll make dinner, then go to bed at a normal time."
Tara smiled and nodded gratefully.
"Okay. That sounds good. Will you stay?"
Willow moved forward and kissed her wife gently again.
"Of course."
They both shared a warm smile for a few moments before Willow sat up and moved off the end of the bed, slipping Tara's shoes off her feet and pulling her jeans off her body before taking her own shoes and skirt off so they were both wearing just shirts and panties.
She figured that would be the most comfortable way to sleep without finding and changing into pyjamas. When she'd neatly folded their discarded clothes on the top of the dresser, she slipped back onto the bed and lay down beside her wife, pulling the blanket up over them.
"I love you," Tara whispered as she settled her head underneath Willow's chin and tangled their legs together.
"I love you too," Willow whispered back, running her hands up and down the blonde's back soothingly until she felt her body relax completely and her breathing start to even out.
Willow held her sleeping wife in her arms, kissing the top of her head and inhaling the scent radiating from her, mostly the lilac shampoo from the hotel but also that distinct vanilla aroma that Tara just exuded naturally.
She wasn't sure how long she stayed like that, but after a while she too began to drift off, her grip staying strong on the woman she had sworn to love, honour and protect.
No matter what.
"Hey, Will! Welcome back," Xander greeted with a smile as he walked into the redhead's office, where Willow was already sitting, "How was Paris?"
"Great," Willow replied, swinging around in her chair with a smile, "It was really great."
Xander clapped his hands together in front of him.
"Excellent. You ready to get back into the high-paced life of catching corporate sleazebags?"
"I think so," Willow grinned, "What have you got for me?"
"Jules Harper," Jesse's voice came from behind Xander as the other agent appeared in the doorway, holding a file, "Real scumbag, suspected of insider trading. Sleeps with high-class, important business women and gets a bit too chatty during pillow talk. Need everything you can find on him, bank statements, credit card reports, anything to link him to these women."
"That sounds doable," Willow replied, taking the file that Jesse was handing to her, before looking back up, "Um, guys?"
Xander and Jesse looked expectantly at their colleague, waiting for to speak again. Willow nodded to herself for a moment, taking a few breaths.
"I need a favour. Like, a pretty big favour."
"Well, shoot," Xander said, smiling at the redhead, "I'm sure we'll help with whatever we can."
Jesse nodded his head in agreement and Willow bit her lip momentarily before speaking.
"What are you doing next Saturday?"