Willow glanced out of the backseat window for the hundredth time, nodding to herself when she saw a black SUV following them, two cars behind, just like it had been for the past hour. She, Michelle and Tara had begun their drive to Rochester in the late morning and as the clock shifted into afternoon, they grew closer and closer to their destination.
They had all decided to drive in the one car and Michelle offered to drive, wanting the distraction of concentrating on the road to control the nerves that threatened to erupt from her and make her turn the car around like she had all the other times she had attempted this trip.
But she had Willow and Tara in the backseat this time, which she knew would stop her, even if the biggest of temptations came over her. She wasn't about to let Tara down. Not again.
Tara had been grateful when Michelle offered to drive since it meant she and Willow could sit in the back and hold hands. She needed the silent support more than ever in what was the second most difficult journey of her live, the first being the bus ride to Boston when she'd escaped her father's clutches all those years ago.
Willow struggled to keep her breathing in check. Her brain was screaming at her that now was well and truly the time to enter panic mode but she remained outwardly calm. It was what Tara needed. And, she reasoned with her brain, her back-up was right behind her.
She had asked Jesse and Xander to tag along on the trip to Rochester earlier in the week, hoping they would say yes. They had, of course; loyalty was something that was engrained deeply into both men. They reassured they'd be there for whatever Willow needed. Or as Jesse had said, they had her back.
They had wondered, however, why exactly Willow wanted them to be there to visit Tara's mother's grave, even more so when she asked them not to tell anyone else.
Willow, reluctantly, had eventually told them that she was worried by the close proximity they would have to Tara's father and simply said he was known to have a violent past. She didn't give them any details, they weren't hers to share, and Xander and Jesse had treated the matter with the utmost profession, not asking questions and saying they would be there to help if it was required.
And they'd stay out of the way if it wasn't.
Willow felt guilty that she'd neglected to tell Tara that she'd asked Xander and Jesse to come along on the trip to Rochester, behind the scenes of course, but she knew her wife would think she was overeating and tell her to tell them not to come.
And Willow couldn't risk that. No matter what, she had to keep Tara safe.
Willow knew, or at least hoped, that this trip would probably go off without a hitch. Tara had said over and over again that her father never visited the graveyard. There was little to no chance he would be there.
But Willow wasn't about to take even the smallest chance to put her wife in any kind of jeopardy.
She figured Xander and Jesse, at most, would probably just have come along for the drive and she'd buy they both as many rounds of beer as they wanted for having her back like they did, but she felt better knowing they were there if something did happen to go pear-shaped.
And another look through the clear glass confirmed they were still there.
"You keep looking out the back window," Tara commented, pulling Willow from her thoughts, "What's out there?"
"Nothing," Willow replied quickly, feeling even worse for lying, "I'm just, you know, kinda anxious."
That part wasn't a lie; she was anxious and knew both Tara and Michelle were as well. How could they not be?
"We're almost there," Michelle remarked from the front seat, "Just another-"
"10 minutes," Tara said quietly, "I know. I remember."
Willow squeezed the blonde's hand, which she'd been holding since they first got in the car and Tara smiled at her gratefully.
"You okay, baby?" Willow asked.
"I'm okay," Tara nodded, "I'm okay."
Willow frowned, not sure whether her wife was just putting up a front.
"You sure? You look kinda pale."
Tara inhaled deeply and let the breath out in a loud exhalation.
"Just butterflies. Very big butterflies. They feel more like bats really."
Tara gulped a couple of times before looking back up at Willow, who unfastened her seatbelt.
"I got ya, baby."
Willow moved over to the middle seat, fastening that belt over her waist and pulling the blonde into a hug, resting Tara's head on her shoulder and stroking her hair.
"That's helping," Tara said quietly as she let the soothing actions calm her.
"Good," Willow whispered back, not letting up her motions.
They drove in silence for the remainder of the journey, everybody lost in their own thoughts. Tara closed her eyes as she started to recognise the familiar landmarks of the surrounding area of her town. She didn't want to see them.
That was until she felt a warm kiss being placed on top of her head. It was a such a simple action but it started a spiral of thoughts that hit Tara all within a matter of seconds.
Her eyes opened instinctively and as she registered the familiar sights, she found they didn't terrify her as much as she thought they would.
What she'd been hoping was true. They were just buildings. Empty architecture. She wasn't sure when or how it happened, or how she hadn't realised it before, but her past didn't have as powerful a hold on her as she thought it did.
Had she reconciled all the horrors her father had subjected her to fully? No, she knew that wasn't the case. She knew that could never be unless she actually confronted him. She knew she'd always have insecure moments where she flashbacked to the scared little girl that had received daily beatings from the one person who was supposed to love her unconditionally.
She knew her past would always be a part of her.
But in that moment of awaking, she knew that it didn't have as potent a role as she always feared it had.
She was in the place where her life was made into a miserable, torturous existence.
Her fears washed away in that moment. She was strong woman. A strong woman who'd been put through hell but had come out the other side and survived. A strong woman who'd made a wonderful life for herself.
She lifted her head and pressed her lips firmly against her wife's. Every ounce of emotion she was feeling poured into the kiss, even though it only lasted a few seconds, before she pulled back and looked at Willow adoringly.
"I wouldn't be me if I didn't have you."
Willow looked almost startled, in a good way, at the admission but didn't have a chance to respond as she felt the car pull to a stop and heard the engine being turned off.
"We're here," Michelle's quiet, almost timid voice spoke up before she turned in her seat to face the couple, "Why don't you two go first? I'll join in a few minutes. I just need to collect myself first."
"Sure," Tara replied quietly, looking at Willow, "You ready?"
Willow was still in a small state of shock from her wife's surprise, but so clearly genuine words. She shook it off though, knowing this was a big moment for her wife and Tara needed her to fully and completely be support-o girl.
"Do you want some time alone?" she asked, holding Tara's hands between both of her own, "I could wait and come up with Michelle."
Tara shook her head, smiling for the first time since they'd left that morning. She was more than ready for this.
"No, I want you there. Please."
Willow nodded, smiling in response to the smile on her wife's face and picked up the bunch of lilies that was lying on the seat beside her. She and Tara both stepped out of the car, still holding hands, and Tara walked them through the gate of the graveyard and up the small pathway to a grave in the far left corner, the name 'Lisa Maclay' carved into the stone with the her dates of birth and death underneath.
The redhead felt her wife start to tremble slightly and dropped her hand, wrapping her arm around her waist to keep her steady instead. Tara choked back the tears that had sprung to her eyes as soon as she saw the familiar grave that she hadn't seen in so long and slowly sank to her knees, tracing the letters of her mother's name.
"Hi Mom," she said after a moment, overcome with emotion, "I'm sorry it's been so long. I had to leave, I know you know that. But I live in Buffalo now, so I'm gonna start visiting again. I still miss you every day."
Tara paused for a moment but let herself smile again, wanting her mother to know about the good things in her life.
"But I met Michelle, Mom. She's with us today, she's coming up in a second. I never knew I had an aunt before. I remember her though, from when I was little. Your friend Ella. And she's been telling me stories and...I've been learning even more about you. About when you two were growing up. Things you never got a chance to tell me. It's... wonderful. It really is. I'm happy now, Mom. I have a family again, I didn't have that when you..."
Tara stopped talking as a few tears streamed down her face and felt her shoulder being squeezed comfortingly, reminding her of her wife's presence.
"I brought Willow, too," she started speaking again, tugging on the redhead's hand, indicating for her to kneel too, which she did, "I know you know who she is. I know you've been looking down on both of us. Sometimes I think you lead her to me. Or me to her, I don't know."
Tara gave a low laugh before looking over at Willow with a smile, gesturing with her hand towards the grave, indicating for her to speak. Willow's eyes widened slightly and she cleared her throat before nodding.
"Hi Mrs. Maclay," she spoke up, her tone nervous, "I, uh, I didn't know Tara thought that, but if it's true, then I can't thank you enough. You're daughter is the most wonderful human being I've ever met. But I guess you don't need me to tell you that, you were the one who made her."
Tara gave her wife's hand a reassuring squeeze and Willow looked at her gratefully before continuing.
"Um, I can tell you I love her. I mean, I really, really love her. More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. Her mind and her heart and her soul and her body...I mean, wow, her body..."
Tara's head shot around to her wife, her eyes wide.
"Willow!"
She hissed the redhead's name through her teeth, gaping at her and Willow gulped, stammering for a moment.
"I, I...I'm sorry, I just...I'm nervous."
Tara closed her eyes for a moment before bringing the hand she had clasped with Willow's up to her mouth and kissing her knuckles.
"Don't be nervous. She would've loved you."
Willow looked back at the grave and put the bouquet of lilies she had in her other hand on it.
"Um, Happy Birthday, Mrs. Maclay-"
"Lisa," Tara interrupted, "She would've wanted you to call her Lisa."
"Yea?" Willow asked, before nodding, "Okay. Lisa. Thank you for bringing Tara into the world and to me. I promise she's my one and only and I'll love and protect her forever. Happy Birthday."
"Happy Birthday, Mom," Tara added quietly, "We brought lilies. Your favourite. And we're growing some in our yard as well, as soon as they bloom, I'll bring some along. I've started gardening again. Like we used to together."
Willow smiled and nodded.
"She's been out there every weekend for the past little while. It's gonna look amazing when they all start coming up."
Tara smiled and leaned into her wife, letting their shoulders touch momentarily before straightening up again just as Michelle came up and positioned herself in a similar kneeling position that the other two girls were in.
"Do you want some space?" Tara asked, looking at her aunt.
Michelle just shook her head and took a deep breath. She had spent fifteen years working through her own inner turmoil to get herself to a place that she was ready to do this. She was finally ready and thought it was only right that Tara and Willow were there too. They were her family after all. She faced. the grave.
"Hey baby sis," she started, a small laugh escaping her lips, "You hated me calling you that. I'm only a year older, but you were always the mature one."
Michelle smiled fondly for a moment before reaching out and placing her hand on the circular curve of the gravestone.
"I'm sorry I've never been out to visit, I...well I think you know I had my issues with everything. I think you know because I think you were the one who helped me through them. And your brilliant daughter, it can't be just random that she ended up in the very same office, in the same job I've been working at for 30 years. You never could help yourself meddling in my life."
Tara let out a quiet laugh. Michelle looked up at her with a smile and shining eyes before focusing back at the grave.
"It's taken...well it's taken a lot of time and a lot of struggle but I'm finally happy, Lisa. Tara's a shining example of you, she reminds me of you every day. Being a part of hers and Willow's lives has been a blessing. Your daughter-in-law is quite the remarkable woman as well."
Willow blushed and ducked her head but Tara put two fingers under her chin and raised it, leaning over for a chaste kiss before she grinned over at Michelle.
"She's met a man, too, Mom. Keeping her ties close to the family, though. It's Willow's Dad."
"Tara!" Michelle exclaimed, blushing furiously.
Willow and Tara both giggled softly as Michelle shifted uncomfortably slightly for a moment before recovering.
"Yes, well, he certainly is adding to my happiness, too," Michelle said stoically to the grave again, "I miss you, Lisa. You weren't just my sister, you were my best friend. I didn't tell you enough how important you were in my life and then it was too late. I know we had our disagreements sometimes, but you truly were my number one confidante. I love you, baby sis. Happy Birthday."
"Happy Birthday, Mom," Tara echoed, picking one of the lilies from the bunch and standing it up against the gravestone.
There was a comfortable silence around the grave as all three women had a quiet moment to reflect on what they'd said and respect the birthday of the woman who was taken too early.
That silence was interrupted barely a minute later when the sound of shoes walking over the stones of other graves ahead of them was heard and the three women looked up.
Willow had no reaction to the unshaven man she saw until she heard Michelle gasp and Tara gulp audibly, dropping the redhead's hand and instinctively shifting back, away.
That told Willow exactly who this man was.
"Tara?" the man asked, looking like he'd seen a ghost.
Tara felt her breath coming in shallow gasps and felt like getting up and running as far away as she could. That feeling lifted after a moment and instead she felt a confidence – a wary, frightened one, but a confidence none the less – and stood up, pushing her chin out and holding her head high.
"Dad."