Okay, so I think I figured everything out. It wasn't where I was originally intending to go, but I think it flows better this way.
Thanks for all the Reviews so far, they're greatly appreciated. Keep them coming, please.
Olivia Benson sat inside their regular cop bar. She only half listened to Fin argue with Munch over his latest conspiracy theory about big brother watching. She was waiting for Alex to get there. It had been so long since they had been out together. Olivia laughed to herself. "Together"? They never dated. They were just seeing each other. Elliot knew about it. As far as she knew, the other guys didn't know. She wouldn't have been surprised if they knew what was going on. They were detectives after all.
She thought back to the days when she and Alex had been seeing each other. It had been before she was in witness protection. After Alex was released, she tried calling, but Alex never answered the phone. All the times she was in the DA's office to see Casey she could have made her way to Alex's office, just to say 'hello'. Who was she fooling? She'd have gone to see Alex and begged the woman to come back to her. It would have been close to pathetic. That's why she didn't do it. She wanted Alex to come to her. After years of waiting, she just gave up. Alex wasn't going to come back. That broke Olivia's heart.
Olivia knew that trying to pretend that Alex was going to come back to her wasn't the best thing to do. So she settled. She settled for the redhead replacement. Casey was nothing like Alex. Sometimes, Olivia thought that Casey was too far to the butch side of the butch-femme spectrum. Casey was close to being the classic tomboy. Alex was kind of like a princess, in her own way. She wanted people to pay attention to her. She knew how to get people's attention and used that to her advantage. That's what made Olivia want her so much. But now that she didn't want Olivia's attention, she let her attention fall on Casey Novak.
The woman had been in SVU for three years when Alex came back. Olivia had gotten used to her being around and got used to spending time with her. She found herself spending more time with Casey outside of work and even confessing things she never dreamed of ever telling anyone. She hadn't even told Elliot about her mother trying to kill her when she got engaged to one of her mother's students. Casey knew though. After that one confession over a glass of beer, she found it easier to tell Casey things. Sometimes, they didn't talk at all. Olivia just found comfort in spending time with Casey. It was easy. Soon, they feel into bed together.
If there were any doubts in her head, that moment proved to Olivia that Casey was really nothing like Alex. In bed Casey was a million times different in her wants, her needs, and different in the way she told Olivia what she wanted and needed. At first, Olivia wasn't sure if she liked sleeping with Casey. Part of her almost felt like she was betraying Alex. But then she remembered, Alex wasn't calling and Alex wasn't keeping any contact with her. So it was almost as if Alex was still gone.
Eventually, Olivia started getting caught up in her work again and so did Casey. They started spending less and less time together outside of work. They only went home together on nights when they were going out to celebrate closing a case. Olivia would offer to walk her home and they would spend the night together. Even though they were still sleeping together, they both saw other people. Olivia ended up dating a guy from the Ledger, which Casey absolutely hated. Soon, they stopped going home together after celebrating a conviction all together. They never officially dated, so they never officially broke up. They just stopped seeing each other.
Olivia really regretted not spending more time with Casey in the end. For some reason, Olivia lay part of the blame for Casey's disbarment on herself. She thought that maybe if she would have spent more time with her in the end she would have seen it coming. Then again, she did blame herself for Alex being sent into Witness Protection too. If she would have protected Alex better, she wouldn't have been shot, outside the bar she was currently sitting in. Even though she hated doing this to herself, it was in Olivia's nature to blame herself for things the people around her did. She thought that if she could have protected them more, everyone around her would be safe. It was her job to protect people from themselves and from other people. So far, in her personal life anyway, she was failing to protect the women she loved.
She exhaled quietly. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but she did love Alex and Casey. Even though she hadn't told Alex, she wanted to. If she ever saw Casey again, she'd apologize for all the crap she put her through. She knew that Casey didn't mind listening to Olivia talk out her problems, but Olivia always felt awkward afterward. She usually ended up doing or saying something stupid because she felt naked and vulnerable. Casey tried not to let her feel like that for too long. She always found some way to put Olivia at ease again.
Olivia was shocked from her thoughts as all the guys stopped. They looked up, shocked looks on their faces. Olivia turned, following their gaze to the two women crossing the room. One of them wasn't a shocker; Alex Cabot was supposed to be here. Casey Novak on the other hand, they were not expecting.
As Olivia watched both of them cross the room and sit down at their table, she was pretty sure that someone could have died and the four men she was sitting with wouldn't have noticed. Hell, she wouldn't have noticed either. She was too shocked.