Sorry i disappeared for a while, haven't had alot of Internet time and my house got broken into the other day and we're still dealing wiht that, hopefully you like this chapter and when i can i'll post the next one, thanks :)
Ilsa was sitting on her couch in an old shirt and a pair of shorts, reading a book, listening to the TV and talking to her sons puppy, she had picked him up from school and taken him back to her place, once there he started asking for his dog so Ilsa had to drive to her friends place to pick it up, although it wasn't so bad, Josh was quiet after that, she had put him to bed a short while ago and while she was trying to read the case was mulling around in her head.
"I think it was the Asael kid but I cant prove it while he has an alibi, maybe I need to talk to Joel and see what he has to say" Ilsa said to the puppy curled up in her lap, it looked up and let out a high pitched bark
"Yeah I think he's not as nice as he acts to" She reached down and scratched the softy furry head, her convocation with the puppy drifted after that to other things about the case, and the book she was reading, and also the TV playing quietly in the back ground.
Olivia had come to see her during the day, she was asking about warrants for the Taucher case and another case she was working at the time. Before Olivia left her office she mentioned to Casey what Ilsa had told her, so now here she stood, in front of Ilsa's door, holding two bags, contemplating knocking or not, she could here talking from inside and thought the other woman might have company.
She brought her fist up and gently rapped it against the door half hoping someone would answer and half hoping no one would.
Ilsa got off the couch and slowly made her way over to the door and looked through the peephole to see who was on the other side, she sighed when she saw who exactly it was. She opened the door and lent against the door jam, an unimpressed look on her face
"What?" she asked clearly not very happy to be seeing the ADA at her home
"I um…" Casey was at a loss for words, she hadn't expected Ilsa to be this cold to her
"Look you came here for a reason Casey what is it"
Casey held up the two bags she was holding "A peace offering" she said with a small smile
Ilsa raised an eyebrow but sighed and moved out of the way so Casey could pass her.
"Is there someone else here?" Casey asked as she placed the bags down on a counter looking around for the person she thought Ilsa was talking to.
Ilsa shook her head as she closed the door "No one is in this room but me"
"Oh…" Casey mumbled softly "I thought I heard you talking to someone"
Ilsa chuckled "I was" she went over to the couch and picked up her convocation partner, Casey smiled when she saw the dog. "It's cute" she said "Wait you were talking to your dog?"
Ilsa nodded "Yeah so? and besides you never said what you were doing here"
Casey pulled some boxes out of one of the bags "A peace offering" she said "I want to apologise for how I acted the other day…it was wrong of me"
"Damn right it was wrong! But you shouldn't be apologising to me" Ilsa said firmly "I've been through worse, it's Josh you need to talk to, he thought he did something wrong when you just walked off like that"
"Is he here?"
Ilsa nodded "But it can wait, he's not feeling well and I just got him to bed"
"Oh ok" Casey said eyeing the small puppy, Ilsa smiled when she noticed
"Would you like to hold her?" she moved closer to Casey and held out the dog for her friend to take
It straight away started to lick Casey's chin "she's very affectionate, what her name"
"I didn't name her she's Josh's, I got her for his birthday and he named her" Ilsa said still smiling
"Aw that's nice, so what did he call her?"
Isa chuckled as she remembered the name her son had chosen for his puppy "Her name is Amadeus"
Casey tried not to laugh "You're kidding right?" she asked, Ilsa shook her head
"I think it's a nice name, and she is his puppy I have no choice but to love the name" Ilsa looked over at the boxes and the last remaining bag "So what else did you bring"
Casey set Amadeus on the floor and pulled out some DVD's "You said you were feeling home sick so I thought you might like these"
Ilsa laughed as she looked through the titles "You got me Chinese food and Australian movies to make up for how you acted?"
Casey blushed and looked away, but still nodded her head
Ilsa smiled "Well then you're watching them with me and I'm not taking no for an answer"
"I-I don't want to intrude"
"Casey" Ilsa said firmly "You came to my house in with Chinese food and DVD's and you say you didn't want to intrude I think it's a little late for that" Ilsa said with a grin "Besides, I figuring making you watch hours of Australian moves, where you cant understand the slang seems like good punishment"
Casey looked down to hide her smile, she had had a bad night and spending time with Ilsa seemed a lot better then what she was doing earlier.
"Want something to drink?" Ilsa asked as she walked to the kitchen "I've got juice, soda and a multitude of alcoholic beverages"
"Do you have any wine?" Casey called to her
"Yup just take everything over to the couch but don't let Amadeus eat any of it" Ilsa called as she rummaged around pulling two glasses out and grabbing the bottle she walked out to the living room and smiled as she saw Casey setting the food around the coffee table in front of her couch.
Ilsa walked over and looked though the titles, decided to put in 'The Castle' she then sat down next to Casey, grabbing one of the boxes and starting to eat, they were quiet throughout the movie, mostly due to the fact that Casey looked confused as the movie went on. Ilsa laughed along, and couldn't help but chuckle and the look on Casey's face that only seemed to leave once the movie finished
"So did you like it?" Ilsa asked trying not to laugh again
"Uh…" Casey didn't know what to say, if she had have known it would be like that, she wouldn't have gotten it for Ilsa
Ilsa tried but could stop the laugh "That is a classic Aussie film but it's not too big in America"
Casey nodded and Ilsa just shook her head
"You can put another movie on" Ilsa said leaning back on her couch, she motioned to the entertainment rack where the TV was sitting "The movies are underneath it"
"You don't want to watch another movie I bought?" Casey asked wondering if she made a mistake
Ilsa smiled "No I do, I just don't think you do, Aussie humour can be hard to understand and I think I punished you enough with the last movie"
Casey smiled back and moved off of the couch to go through her friends movies
"I've got everything, action, comedy, horror, cartoons and romance so take you pick" Ilsa said from the couch as she leaned forward to pour another drink for her and Casey.
Casey was shaking her head at some of the movies in her friend's collection seems she didn't favour just one genre "The Lion King Ilsa?" Casey asked as she saw the title.
Ilsa smiled "Yeah, it's a good movie and you're never too old for Disney"
"What's your favourite movie?" Casey asked while she continued to go through the titles in front of her trying to find something to watch.
Ilsa shrugged then handed Casey another glass of wine "It all depends, but if this isn't to your liking I have some adult entertainment somewhere in the house"
Casey's jaw dropped "Tell me you're kidding"
Ilsa smiled sheepishly "About watching it or owning it?"
The young ADA shook her head and got up off the floor "Why don't we see what's on TV"
Ilsa shrugged "Whatever floats your boat"
The two settled back onto the couch and Ilsa tossed the remote to Casey who started flipping through the channels. There wasn't really anything on.
Ilsa was swirling the liquid around the glass she held in her hands, Amadeus had jumped on the couch and was curled between the two women. "So what plans did you have tonight, I can't think that coming to my place would rank high"
Casey stoped channel searching and sighed "I uh…had a date tonight" she admitted sourly
Ilsa scoffed "And you chose to pass up whatever find piece of candy asked you out for a night with me, well Casey either you really have a thing for me or you're just plan xrazy"
Casey blushed slightly 'I don't have a thing for her' "It was just a bad date, and spending time with you isn't so bad"
"Oh I better be careful" Ilsa teased "You just admitted it isn't a bad thing to spend time with me and you've been drinking, do I need to move or can you refrain from throwing yourself at me"
Casey groaned and threw a pillow that was sitting on the couch at Ilsa's face "Are you ever going to let me live that down! One time, one time!"
Ilsa laughed "Actually it was more then once you sought me out when drunk and no I will not let you live it down, what kind of friend would I be if I did"
Casey smiled shyly "So were still friends?"
Ilsa sighed but smiled anyway "You ran when I told you I have a son, makes me wonder if I should tell you anything else about me if all you'll do is run"
The lawyer looked away "I deserve that"
"But" Ilsa said reaching across and placing her hand gently on her friends shoulder "I still like you, for some strange reason, I don't normally like people or let them in, but…I guess what I'm saying is yeah where still friends"
Casey couldn't help but smile "Good, cause for some strange reason I like you to"
"It's not a strange reason, it' called lust Casey"
Casey smacked Ilsa "Can you be serious for one minute"
Ilsa shrugged "Where's the fun in that"
Casey shook her head, then rolled her shoulder, she was tired and stressed after a long day and a horrible date.
"Come here" Ilsa sat pointing to the ground at her feet, Casey looked sceptical, Ilsa just sighed and pulled her to the ground, moving Casey's hair she slowly massaged her shoulders.
"That's nice" Casey smiled
"This is one of the perks of having a friend, there here to listen and give really good neck rubs" Ilsa kept moving slowly, working the nots "Damn your tense" she commented
Casey nodded but kept quiet, enjoying the sensation, feeling the tension just drift away, when Ilsa moved her hands and hit another spot Casey had to stop herself from letting out a gasp
"So tell me about your date, was he a fine hunk of man meat?" Ilsa asked trying not to laugh
"What?" Casey asked laughing at the choice of words
"You know, was he cute or whatever describing words you hetero's use"
The woman on the floor shook her head "Yes he was cute and he seemed really nice and charming"
"So what made you want to come and see me and not have a wild night with your new boy toy" Ilsa asked as she kept her hands moving but leaned forward so her head was next to Casey's "I mean why would you want to give up a fine man to hang out with your lesbian friend…unless your trying to tell me something" she said wiggling her eyebrows
Casey lifted her hands and pushed Ilsa away "He just wasn't what I'm looking for"
"What? Not tall enough, Rich enough? Tell me if I guess"
Casey sighed "He wouldn't stop talking about himself and his work, he was stuck up and insisted on ordering for me, I didn't like it and…"
Ilsa pushed her thumbs in right next to her spine "aaaaand? Come on what else, im hear for you to talk to so talk, make good use of me!"
"And he expected me to put out after" Casey said with a bit of sadness in her voice
"Why didn't you" Casey leaned forward when she heard that but Ilsa grabbed her again "I mean" she said tyring to choose better words "Did he not appeal to you sexually or is it a rule 'no sex on the first date' what?"
Casey sighed and settled back into the touch "I didn't like him enough to even want to, and that he expected it just made it worse"
"Well he's officially and idiot"
Casey chuckled "And why is that?"
"Cause someone would have to be and idiot or insane to treat you like that"
Casey smiled and a slight blush crawled up her cheeks "Thanks…"
"You should date a woman" Ilsa said absently
"Are you offering?" Casey shot back
Ilsa smiled "Would you say yes if I was?"
Casey didn't reply to that, she just sat quietly looking at the ground, she watched as the puppy jumped off the couch and went off into another room.
Casey still sat quietly, she had been brought up to think that homosexuality was wrong, well not exactly wrong just wrong for her, but since meeting Ilsa she was changing her mind… and it was confusing her.
"So then how's your romantic life?"
Ilsa laughed "What romantic life?" she joked
"I know you got that girl from the coffee shops number, how did it go?"
Ilsa sighed "It didn't, to much to drink led to lose tongues on her part and she started talking about how her boyfriend didn't appreciate her and she just wanted to try someone new, long story short I'm not going to see her again"
"I'm sorry to hear that" Said Casey sincerely
"Eh I'm not, she wasn't really my type anyway, but I figured I'd give her a chance" Ilsa kept her hands going over Casey's shoulders, feeling the tension leaving her friend.
They sat there for how ever long, neither one was really paying attention, just enjoying the actions, Ilsa stopped when Casey moved and stood up, coming to sit done next to her friend, she didn't look to happy.
"Hey Casey what's wrong? I'm not that bad at shoulder rubs am I?"
Casey shook her head "No it's not that…just a long day, you know"
Ilsa smiled and nodded, handing The ADA her glass of wine "Then I say drink up"
Taking the cup with a smile, Casey took a long drink for it before placing it back on the table in front of her
"Can I ask you something Ilsa?" she asked looking at the TV
Ilsa nodded "Yeah sure, not need to ask me first"
"When did you realise you were a…um you know"
Ilsa couldn't help herself and chuckled "A lesbian? I don't really no when I realised it, I've only ever been sexually attracted to one man my entire life, everyone else has been a woman, so everyone, including myself figured I was a lesbian, though truth be told I don't believe in labels"
"What do you mean labels?" Casey asked turning to look at her friend
"Well I think it's more then just liking men or women, I think it's about finding someone you love, regardless of gender, someone who loves you for who you are, that you want to spend everyday with"
"And that's what you found in all of you previous relationships?"
Ilsa smiled "Well….three out of four anyway"
"What was wrong with the last one?" Casey asked, remember how Ilsa had mentioned her previous girlfriend and how it hadn't been a great thing
Ilsa sighed "I thought she was an amazing women when we first met, she was nice to me and treated me good" She paused and took a deep breath, this wasn't a topic she liked to talk about but she was going to anyway, well most of it "And then she changed, or rather she stopped pretending to be someone she wasn't and started to be herself, and I didn't like who she was"
"Why did you stay with her then?" Casey scooted a bit closer, she could see Ilsa wasn't enjoying talking about it
"It's an understatement to say I have a strange view on relationships and sex and…I just thought it was what I deserved" Ilsa let out a soft chuckle "I'm a little messed up in the head"
"And since her you haven't dated because you cant get over her?"
Ilsa shook her head "No, I'm over her…for the most part I just haven't found anyone and the people I could see my self being with are" she looked into Casey's eyes and smiled "Other wise unattainable."
Casey didn't look away, but her heart started to beat faster, she reached her hand out and grabbed Ilsa's right hand pulling it to her "Why did you get it?" she changed the topic as she traced her fingers over the ink on Ilsa's arm.
Ilsa swallowed and took a deep breath 'she's your straight friend Ilsa, it's never going to happen, don't be an idiot and chase her away' she watched Casey's fingers trailing around the swirls on her arm "I uh…it was a message"
Casey didn't look up, just turned Ilsa's arm over and started tracing again "I'm not sure I'm getting a message from this"
"It's um…kind of a private message" Ilsa said closing her eyes and enjoying the sensations travelling up her arms
"OK so what's the message"
"The message is 'it's my body and I'll do what I want with it'…"
"You got your arm tattooed because it's your body and you'll do want you want?"
Ilsa smiled "Yeah, but it's not just my arm"
Casey stopped touching Ilsa's arm "There's more? I thought you only had 3 tattoo's"
Ilsa laughed "Oh I do only have three it's just this one is a big one"
"How big?" Casey asked raising an eyebrow
"Let's just say I would have to get naked for you to see the whole thing, and I don't think you would like that"
"Who says I wouldn't like it?" Casey asked boldly
Ilsa froze "Well even if you want to see me naked I'm not about to drop my pants in the longue room"
They sat there in silence, just looking at each other, the wine was starting to take affect on Casey, she leaned closer and reached out to touch Ilsa's neck, Ilsa jerked but didn't stop her, Casey's fingers rested on the side and traced across a scar that resided there.
"You've got a lot of these" she said
Ilsa smirked at her "What necks?"
Casey shook her head but didn't laugh "Scars…how'd did you get it?"
Ilsa reached up and take Casey's hand, pulling it away from her neck "I got cut, a long time ago" she said dryly
Again Casey grabbed Ilsa wrist, this time running her fingers along the scars that ran across there "And these ones? Did you just 'get cut' or did you hurt yourself?"
Ilsa tensed, she really didn't want to answer that question, normally when someone would ask that she would change the topic, or run, but she could do that, one) it was her apartment and two) her son was here, she couldn't leave him.
"I think you already know the answer to that Casey" she said solemnly
"I want to hear you say it" The ADA said softly, still tracing the lines that covers her friends wrist
"What do you want to hear? That I cut myself" Ilsa said, getting slightly irritated "Yeah ok I cut myself, or at least I did"
Casey didn't say anything, she just moved closer to her friend "When did you start?"
Ilsa sighed "I was a lot younger it seemed to help with what was happening around me…To me" she uttered quietly "I kind of got used to it over the years"
Casey seemed to accept that answer for know, because she nodded and slowly let go of the captive wrist "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up a sensitive topic"
"Yes you did" Ilsa said but her voice wasn't harsh "But it's ok…i guess"
Casey's eyes were getting heavy, she knew she should go, but she couldn't find the energy to move "It's late…" she said with a yawn
Ilsa smiled "Yeah it is, do you want to spend the night?"
The younger woman was already on her way to sleep "yeah…sure" she mumbled groggily leaning into Ilsa further
"Casey?" Ilsa asked "Caaaaasey?" she moved her head and saw the others woman's eyes were already closed 'oh for crying out loud, I could handle the odd flirt, the touching, the sleeping in the same bed, but I don't think I can handle her sleeping on top of me'
Ilsa sighed, resigned to her fate, she shifted, Casey was out of it and didn't wake up as Ilsa moved so that the other woman was between her legs with her head resting on her chest.
Ilsa reached for the remote and switched off the TV, she sat there in the darkened room, the only light coming from the moon and streetlights outside the window, looking down she smiled sadly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of the other woman's head.
"I swear you're going to be the death of me Casey" Ilsa said softly as she wrapped her arms around her, feeling her snuggle deeper into her body "If you knew what you were doing to me I doubt you'd still be my friend, I like you Casey, more then I should and I don't know why…I'd never try anything with you, and I probably wont ever really tell you, but it feels a little better to say it out loud for one instead of keeping it inside, i hate that you keep bringing back painful memories but it's kind of nice that you care " Ilsa leaned her head back and sighed "I'm glad you're my friend Casey"
"I'm glad I'm your friend too" Casey muttered sleepily into Ilsa's chest.
Ilsa tensed, wondering how much of her confession the woman actually heard "Goodnight" she said
"night" she heard the soft whispered before she fell into a deep sleep.
Reviews aren't mandatory but they are nice, and i'll try get another chapter up once all the stuff happening at home stops, thanks for reading :)