16.
We drove to the nicest hotel there was, after getting a pair of pj's for both of us and some things like soap and a toothbrush and toothpaste. We were lucky enough to get a room, what with all the people in town for the holidays. I had nearly forgotten it was Easter, because we didn't really celebrate it at the house. We walked up to our room with the paper bags containing our things for the night. I told John I was going to take a shower and gathered up my stuff. The light was already on in the bathroom because John had been in there, so I placed my things on the counter, closing the door. I turned on the water in the shower, but sat instead on top of the toilet seat lid. My thoughts were flying around in my head and I struggled to rein them in. I had to get a grip on myself before I even dared to spring the truth on my husband. I sat there for a good thirty minutes. I wet my hair before shutting off the water and stripped, wrapping a white hotel towel around my small frame. I wiped the steam off the mirror and examined my face in the mirror. It was amazing how soft my skin looked, though I knew it was the exact opposite. I parted my hair the way I always did and brushed through the long curls with my fingers. The water sat on top of my hair in beads, so I wrapped another towel around my head. Then I walked slowly into the room, looking around for John. I saw him sitting at a small table in the back corner of the room, a little lamp shinning unto the pages of a book he had bought today. I walked up and touched his back, hoping not to startle him. He looked up at me and smiled. "You look beautiful," he whispered to me. It sounded more like an observation than a compliment, but I smiled anyways.
"Thanks," I answered mechanically. It seemed like John had relaxed a little, probably looking forward to not having to go back to the house until tomorrow. Maybe he would even suggest we stay a whole week. I cringed inside. "How's the book?"
He glanced down at it, closing it swiftly as if embarrassed. He turned it over so I couldn't read the cover, then looked back up at me, a strange expression in his eyes. "It's… interesting."
I wondered what it was. I had seen him looking through it intently at the antique store, while I was over looking through the jewelry. But I decided not to worry about that now. I took his hand in mine and pulled him up from the chair. I kissed his lips softly, and whispered, "I love you."
He replied by kissing me back, mumbling into my mouth. I could taste his sweet breath on my tongue. I kissed him once more and then stepped away. "I think I'll go change now," pointing to the towel I still had around me.
"Why?" he whined softly. "You look great," he added with a wink. He led me to the bed and fell into the covers, pulling me down on top off him. Immediately I knew what he wanted, but I couldn't resist because I wanted it, too. Just a little bit, maybe, I told myself, promising to stop if it went too far. I pressed my lips firmly against his, feeling myself melt in his grasp. He responded by kissing me vigorously, his tongue tracing the inside of my lip softly. He let out a contended sigh and I nearly lost all control of myself as his breathe sent a burning sensation down my throat. But I managed to pull away from him. "I can't," I gasped. "I'll hurt you," I added to myself, thinking he couldn't hear me.
John shook his head, his mind still wrapped in euphoria. For the first time, I wondered what it felt like to kiss a vampire as a human. Was it as intense for him as it was for me? "Why," he whined again, wrapping his arms around my slender waist and trying to pull me down against him. I gave in, but put my head against his chest so he couldn't kiss me. I let his scent fill my head, sending shivers up and down my spine at the intense love I felt for him. "You really think he can hurt me," he whispered in my ear and I felt him flex his muscles. He laughed, and I laughed too; he couldn't imagine how weak he was compared to me. I ran my hand along both of his arms, not responding to his question, feeling the bumps where his muscles were. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recalled him coming to the gym everyday to impress me, showing off by lifting weights and doing push-ups. It all seemed so silly now, compared to the situation we were in. I kissed his neck softly before rolling over so I was lying beside him. I could telll he was disappointed by the way his shoulders slumped back.
Should I tell him now?
He stood up before I could say anything, walking slowly to the bathroom. "Just gonna brush my teeth real fast," he mumbled to me. He closed the door and immediately I was off the bed, heading silently to the table where he had been sitting before. I looked at the book, lying there innocently. I hesitated slightly before picking it up and flipping it over slowly in my hands. My breath caught in my throat as I read the inscription on the front cover. 'Myths and Legends of Magical Creatures' and under it in smaller script, I read, 'Vampires'. I dropped the book in my surprise, hearing it thud to the floor. Was he really that close to figuring it all out by himself? Or had he just picked up the book out of curiosity. I doubted that, recalling the way he had tried to hide the title of the book from me. I gasped.
"Lisa?" I heard John call through the door, his mouth filled with toothpaste. When I didn't respond, he called my name again, this time more clearly. "Yeah?" I replied shakily, hoping he didn't notice the tremble in my voice.
"You okay in there?"
"Yeah, just bumped into the wall," I replied dumbly.
"Oh," was all he said, before I heard him continue with brushing his teeth. I cursed myself for my clumsiness and picked up the book silently. I opened it up and flipped to the contents list. My mind was spinning so fast I felt almost dizzy. I scanned the content list and saw a chapter entitled 'Characteristics of a Vampire'. I flipped numbly to the page indicated next to the chapter title and nearly dropped the book again when I saw the corner of the page at the beginning of the chapter folded down neatly, to indicate his place in the book. He was so close! Did he realize that this book was about me, about the Cullens? As I scanned through the chapter, reading through the descriptions the book mentioned, I prayed that it was just another silly book filled with crazy stories. "Craving for blood… Fast as lighting… Beautiful, with a voice that lures you in, and a scent that draws you to them… Eyes ranging from bright red to a golden color, depending on their diet." This book knew it all. Everything in it rang true to who I was. I glanced at the author's name, which sounded slightly familiar. Did Carlisle have some of his books in his library? I flipped back to where I was and continued reading. "Slender, great beauty… Skin cold as ice and hard as a rock… Sparkle in the sun… Graceful movements… unsurpassable strength," the list went on, every description dead on. I shut the book quickly, putting it back on the table exactly like I had found it. My mind was spinning and I could barely see as I ran to the bed and grabbed my phone out of my purse. It nearly fell out of my hands in my haste. I yelled to John that I needed to call the Cullens, making up the excuse that I just wanted them to know where we were. I ran out of the room, slowing my pace once outside. I pushed my way through the crowds of people both inside and outside the hotel, and finally found a deserted alley where I could hold my private conversation without fear of being overheard. I dialed Carlisle's number rapidly and pushed the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I heard Carlisle's voice clearly over the line.
"Carlisle!" My words coming out in a rush. ""Carlisle, John found a book about vampires… it's exactly right… the descriptions are dead on… I think he knows! What should I do?"
Carlisle asked me to slow down and told me take a few deep breaths, which I did. Then he asked me to calmly repeat myself, and I told him about the book. I noted no change in his voice as he asked me where John had found the book, and he listened intently as I told him everything, adding the name of the author and where the store was located.
There was silence and I began to panic. "Carlisle?"
"I'm still here," he muttered, his voice sounding suddenly stressed. "You said the name of the author was B.M. Wellington?"
"Yes," I answered quickly. "Why?"
"I know that name," Carlisle replied, his voice suddenly sounding dead.
"Who is he?" I asked in a stiff whisper, afraid of the answer.
There was silence before Carlisle answered me. "He was around from before I was created. I met him once when I was in Italy with the Volturi." He paused for a moment and I waited for him to continue. "His wife and son, whom he had had with his wife before he became one of us, had become deathly ill and he had tried to save them, but had been unable to stop himself once tasting their blood. He became so angry with himself. He rebelled against his own nature, who he was, torturing himself and turning against every vampire that ever was and ever will be. He wrote many very revealing books, like the one John bought, about our kind and created mass hysteria everywhere. The Volturi had to intervene before more people read the books. The books threatened our very existence. So they called him to Italy and killed him, burning his broken body. Then they burned all the books they could find written by him." He stopped. My breathing had stopped and emotions ran through me that I couldn't explain. Raw fury at what this traitor had done burned inside me. I wanted to scream, but kept quiet. "I guess they didn't find all his books," Carlisle added very quietly, "Thought I'm not surprised that he found it at the store. If any store anywhere would have a book like that, it would be that one." His voice sounded like a mix between anger, frustration, and disbelief. How could this have happened, I asked myself. But there was no time to think, as Carlisle took on an authoritative voice.
"Allisa, you need to burn that book! You can't let him read another thing. If the Volturi find out about this, they will come after him and surely kill him." I gasped loudly. "Lisa, please come home as soon as you can!"
Then I heard a shuffle and Alice's voice filled my ear. She sounded dreadful. "Lisa, I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I was so stupid for telling you, for thinking it would be okay if you told him anything." I could tell she had been beating herself up ever since I had called and Carlisle had realized what was happening, maybe even before that if she had seen a vision about it. I was sure everyone in the house knew what was going on and I felt a sort of embarrassment and shame go through me.
Alice rambled on, but I stopped her. "Stop it, Alice. It's entirely my fault! I should have never taken my eyes off of him." I was cut off when Carlisle came back on the line, his voice hard and firm. "You two need to stop blaming yourself. It's been done and now we have to just focus on stopping it from getting any worse. Lisa, call me after you've burned and done away with the book. Head home as soon as you can and don't tell him anything!" The last part was a command. I hung up the phone and raced to the room, as fast as all the humans around would permit me to go without creating an even bigger mess. I ran into the room, but stopped dead in tracks when I saw John, his head bent down, reading the book intently. I nearly screamed my head off at him. I ran over and yanked the book from his hands. I noticed how far he had gotten in the chapter as the book fell to the floor. I knew I didn't have to watch myself anymore now, because he had read everything he would need to figure this all out, but I still moved at a maddeningly slow pace. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as I grabbed the metal trashcan in the bathroom and a packet of hotel matches. I tossed the book into the can, nearly tipping the trash bin over with all the force I had used to throw down the book, lighting a match and tossing it in with the book. John was yelling at me, asking me what I thought I was doing. I turned on him silently, doing everything to keep from glaring at him.
"That book… is full of lies!" I spit out, trying to save the situation, though I wasn't sure if it was any use. I saw the look that was on John's face, the message hidden in his eyes. Everything told me there was no hope anymore, but still I tried to hold on to it, to save it somehow. I packed all our stuff in a hurry, commanding John to put on his clothes. He did so very slowly, which made me nearly go insane. I blew out the fire that had burned the book to ashes and dumped the powder into the tub, washing it away as fast as I could. Finally, when he was done, I dragged him out of the room and down to the lobby. I checked out quickly, though the speed at which the woman behind the desk moved was enough to make me just want to run out of there without even paying. And finally we were outside and in the car, speeding down the road towards Forks. I could feel John's eyes on me, drilling holes into the side of my head, but didn't want to try and figure out how much he knew or what he was thinking. I hit redial and listened impatiently as the line rang. Carlisle's voice came through before the first full ring was over and I told him simply that everything was done and we were on our way.
John asked me nothing, just sat there staring at me, his expression changing every once in a while. I knew he was slowly piecing everything together. Because of one book, my whole world might soon be falling apart, with no way to save it.