…And in the Twenty First Hour…

"That bird," James said, still breathing heavily from his sparring match with the owl, "that damned bird tried to take a crap on me!" He said wildly as he pointed out the two lumps that looked like piles of lint on the floor. "And it tried to kill me!" He shrieked as he showed them his bloody hands.

"Ok," Lily said slowly as she made her way over to him, "let's get your hands cleaned up."

"UM," Remus, who still looked shocked, said loudly, "is anyone going to answer my question? What the HELL was that?"

"That was an EVIL, vindictive, STUPID bird that got mad and tried to kill me!" James said as Lily led him to the bathroom.

"James wouldn't let it out the window," she explained as she stopped in front of the bathroom sink and turned on the water. "We wanted to use it to send a letter to Dumbledore so that maybe he could come and break us out of here," she said. Her hands shook as she pulled James's hands under the water.

James hissed but didn't pull back. He bit his lip as the others still looked on in shock.

"So…it attacked you?" Remus asked, sounding as if he didn't believe it.

James nodded as Lily started to soap his hands. "Yes, stupid, bloody git of a bird tried to bite Lily, and then it tried to kill me! I swear to all of you, I SWEAR, when I get out of here, I'm going to hunt that DAMN bird down and chop it stupid feathered head off! I'm going to catch it on fire, and then shove my wand so far up its butt-"

"Wait," Peter interrupted, "You're going to chop its head off and thenshove a wand up its butt? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

James glared at him. "You still have drawings on your face."

"Yes, thank you for that," Peter replied sarcastically.

Sirius was blinking slowly as though he were still trying to soak it all in. "I…don't know whether to laugh or be afraid. A killer bird is one thing…but a killer bird flying around a room, trying to kill Lily and James is hilarious."

"It is NOT hilarious!" James said shrilly and Lily winced at how loud he was. "I could have DIED!"

Lily was definitely afraid. She knew she was going to have nightmares about it now, though with the things that she had started dreaming it shouldn't be a big step up from the usual crazy. At least the owl hadn't been wearing a pair of sparkly bellbottoms.

But getting back to the point…Lily was afraid, and not amused whatsoever by James's near death experience. Well…ok, she seriously doubted that he could have died from an angry owl attack. But, then again…that owl had been pretty scary. And for whatever reason it had been mad as hell the moment it had come in the window.

She had to stop thinking about it now. It was already going to be a while before she could make herself send another letter, so she had better stop making it worse.

"Let's not talk about it anymore, please," she said weakly as she turned off the water and looked at James's hands. There definitely wasn't going to be any scars, because the cuts weren't that deep. They weren't very serious, but he could have used a bandage here and there. But unfortunately, living the magical world, there was no point in having any bandages.

"Just keep this towel on your hands," she said as she gently passed a hand towel to him. "I guess I'll go clean up the bird poop."

Ten minutes later, Lily sat down on her trunk, exhausted. She had managed to clean up the mess James had caused, and the poop, no thanks to Sirius, who nearly stepped in it, thought it was funny, and then picked it up with some toilet paper and started chasing Peter around the room with it.

Then, just when Lily was thinking about how gross boys were, Sirius tripped, the poop went flying, and hit Peter on the arm who shrieked like a little girl and then ran into the bathroom to take a shower. Lily didn't blame him for being so freaked over it though. If it had been her she would have taken Sirius's head off.

After Peter had scrubbed himself for fifteen minutes straight in scalding hot water, Sirius was apologizing, while laughing his head off. Of course, by this time, Sirius was the only one laughing. Remus was STILL mad over being ripped from his dream, Peter was mad over poop, James was seething and thinking of ways to torture owls, and Lily was still feeling scared and a little shaken up.

So Lily did the same thing that anyone would do.

She pulled out the booze.

Remembering that she still had some rum left over from Christmas, Lily pulled out the bottle that was hidden in her trunk and took a swig in front of everyone. There was no point in hiding it anyway; they would have smelled it on her.

"Erm," James said as he watched her, "Is that alcohol?"

Lily winced slightly as the liquid burned down her throat. She didn't particularly like the taste, but extreme times called for extreme measures. And this was most definitely an extreme time. Crazy, psychopathic, murderous owls chasing people around the room was enough to drive anyone to drink.

Instead of answering James, she simply held the bottle out to him. He winced as pain shot through his hands, but was grateful and drank anyway.

"Everyone can have some," she said to the other boys, "except for Sirius."

Sirius immediately stopped laughing and proceeded to glare at her.

"Lily," he said in a low voice as James passed the bottle to Peter, "I think if you don't want other people to know about Ronald McDonald, you had better share with me."

Lily sighed in defeat. She most DEFINITELY did NOT want Peter and Remus to know that she had dreamed about Ronald McDonald in her bed last night…but then again, would they even know who that was?

Sirius simply grinned as Remus finished drinking and passed the bottle over to him.

James, who was sadly looking down at his hands, sighed. "You know, this," he held up his hands, "is just like that time that cat attacked you, Sirius, so you shouldn't think it's funny."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Er, that wasn't me, that was Peter. And it wasn't a cat, it was a turtle."

Lily shook her head in confusion. "Wait, how did you get attacked by a turtle?"

"WAIT A MINUTE," Remus interrupted before Peter could answer, "Remember that little conversation we were having earlier?" He asked James who glared at him. "About who knew their friends better? I thought you said you knew more." He grinned. "How could you forget Peter's turtle accident?"

James almost looked like he wanted to laugh in remembrance (while Lily was wondering what the hell the turtle had done to Peter) before he decided that he would rather glower at Remus instead.

"Remus, I'm not in the mood right now." He said simply as he eyed the bottle of rum that Lily had set back on top of her trunk.

"Hm…" Remus nodded. "It's funny that you're not in the mood when you know you're wrong."

And that was when Remus and James proceeded to stare each other down.

For fifteen minutes.

"AH!" Lily finally screamed, bringing everyone's attention to her. "Stop staring at each other already!"

Rolling his eyes, Remus crossed his arms over his chest and went back to staring at James. "I will as soon as Prongs admits that he's wrong."

"When did this become an argument?" Peter asked in confusion.

Lily wondered the same thing. This argument about who knew their friends better seemed to stem from…nowhere in particular. But it was Remus who had started it, if she was remembering correctly. Perhaps it was a result from being ripped from his dream. Maybe, like everyone else in the room, he was becoming so weak from hunger that he was starting to slowly lose his mind.

"I don't know," Sirius answered Peter, "But they're both wrong; I know more than both of them put together."

James and Remus both scoffed as Lily, becoming bored, opened the rum and took a few small sips from it.

"Sirius," James laughed, "How could you possibly know more than us when all you do is chase girls, eat, sleep, and poop?"

Sirius glared as Remus snorted. "I don't poop that much," he muttered quietly.

Peter came over and sat next to Lily on her trunk. She passed him the rum without looking at him and he murmured his thanks before drinking.

"They'll go on like this for the next hour if we don't stop them," he said to her quietly.

"Oh great," she responded sarcastically, "how fun for us."

Peter nodded. "I know…that's why I have a plan. Have you got some parchment, quills, and ink in here?" he motioned to her trunk.

"Uh, yeah," she said slowly, "what are you planning?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, lets just see what comes out of my mouth." He grinned at her confused look. "I just make this stuff up as I go along."

"But I thought you said you had a plan." She pointed out.

"I did," he nodded, "and I do. My plan is to…come up with a random plan on the spot."

Lily fought the urge to scratch her head in confusion. Peter was a very…odd person. But at least he wasn't trying to annoy the hell out of her for kicks like Remus and Sirius enjoyed doing. Instead he was just really…weird in his own special way.

She watched as he stood up between the three arguing boys.

"To settle this," he said loudly and they all looked at him, "I propose…" he looked like he was thinking for a moment before answering. "A game."

"What game?" James asked curiously.

"Er," Peter said, searching his thoughts, "a game to see who knows each other better." He glanced over at Lily. "Hence the need for parchment and quills and ink. I knew I would need it…" He drifted off as he nodded.

Lily was very confused. She tried to get this strange series of events strait in her head. One) Peter was weird. Two) Peter apparently had no train of thought and just spoke randomly and said whatever he wanted. Three) Lily was very puzzled about why he had asked for parchment, quills, and ink before he even knew that he was going to need it. And four) Why was she even thinking of this? Why was her mind so preoccupied with thoughts of Peter's thoughts? Why couldn't stop? WHY? WHY? WWWHHYYYYYYY?

Lily didn't know.

"And what are the fundamentals of this game?" Remus asked.

"We see who knows the other better by writing down questions about each of you," Peter explained as he pointed out James, Remus, and Sirius, "and then you have to answer every question correctly. Whoever gets the most questions right…wins."

"What do we win?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"The argument." Lily said simply. "And the respect of your friends."

Sirius looked let down. "What? That's it? That sucks!"

"YOU suck!" Lily yelled.

Everyone stared at her.

"Er, ok, so I'll be the judge," Peter said after a moment, "I'll write down the questions, and make them all equally hard. And no cheating, you have to go over there while I write them down." He pointed at the window and the other boys rolled their eyes and walked off.

Lily opened her trunk and handed him the essentials before settling back on top of it again.

"Hey Lily," he said just as he had the quill poised over the parchment.

"Yeah?"

"I just remembered something…" he said and blinked a few times. "But…I'll tell you later. Don't let me forget."

Lily just looked at him worriedly.