Chapter Thirty One
I'm sorry for not updating reguraly : ( Send me reviews to tell me what you think they actually make me write faster : ) Also I just realised I spell mummy with the u instead of the o I'm sorry to anyone who is reading this and the spelling is off compared to where you live.
Saturday couldn't come fast enough for me. I was looking forward to being able to spend the day with my son even if Edward was going to be staying the whole time. Every night throughout the week I would get a call from Jackson just before Edward would put him to bed. I loved that I was able to say good night to my baby and I loved that Edward was allowing me to do that.
On Friday night instead of letting Jackson just hang up the phone when he was finished Edward picked up the phone.
"Bella" He said breathlessly.
"Um yeah." I answered not sure as to why he was talking to me. Even after our late night of talking we were still a bit awkward around each other. I was hoping that we would have a break thru in our relationship soon, not to the point that we would be together because I don't think Edward would want that but to the point that we could at least have a normal conversation.
"I just wanted to tell you I'll bring him over around 10. Is that ok?" He asked.
"Yeah that sounds fine." I agreed. I was going to do this on his terms to try and make it easier for him.
"Great I'll see you tomorrow." He answered happily.
"Ok see you then. Bye Edward." I said into the phone excited even more that I was getting to see my son tomorrow.
"Bye Bella." He said before hanging up the phone and leaving me to think about what I could do tomorrow with the two of them.
I woke early the next morning and started cleaning the house even though it was spot less from Sue. Not long before Edward was meant to arrive my dad told me that him and Sue were going down to the reservation to see Billy, I had a feeling it was more to give me the space with Edward and Jackson.
I was just walking back down the stairs from making sure that everything was in order when the door bell rang. I ran down the last few steps coming to a halt in front of the door before yanking it open to see my smiling son.
"Hey Baby" I said as I bent down so that I could wrap him in my arms.
"Mummy" He squealed back which made my heart swell. I never knew that hearing that one word would make everything seem so much better and brighter.
I placed a kiss on his head before taking his hand in mine and standing up so that I could talk to Edward.
"Thank you for bringing him over. I thought maybe I would make us a snack before going out for a walk." I asked more then said I wasn't sure what Edward would be happy doing.
"Thanks but I've got to race into work for a few hours to fix up some paper work and check on a patient, I'm sure Jackson would love that though." He said giving me his smile that always made me melt before everything happened.
"But I thought you were staying? Do you trust me enough to do this? Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled I'm just confused." I babbled completely surprise he was giving me the day with our son by myself.
"Bella its ok your his mum. I need and want to give you this chance, I know I've been an A-S-S" He spelt out the word so that Jackson would understand it though I was pretty sure he had heard worse words from his Uncle Emmett.
"But I want us to move forward for Jackson's sake. He comes before anything and he's been really looking forward to today." I stared at Edward in amazement, I was lucky that Edward was the father of my son because with him as his father Jackson would grow up to be one of the sweetest boys.
I dropped Jackson hand before flinging my arms around Edwards's neck.
"Thank you so much." I whispered to him. As I pulled away I gave him a quick peck on the cheek which caused him to blush slight. He composed himself before turning to Jackson.
"Bye little man, daddy will be back this afternoon to pick you up." He said as he ruffled Jackson's hair up.
"Bye daddy." Jackson gave Edward's legs a quick hug before running inside.
"Well I'll arh see you later Bella." Edward said a little awkwardly while rubbing the back of his neck
"Bye and thank you again Edward." He just nodded his head before making his way to his car. I went back inside to see Jackson sitting on the lounge room floor playing with his blocks that were stored there. I sat down with him just enjoying watching him play in his own little world.
"Is there anything you would like to do today munchin?" I asked while starting to pick up some blocks myself and building with him.
"Park?" He asked looking up at me and smiling.
"Of course we can go to the park. How about we go when you've finished with your blocks?" I smiled back at him.
An hour later I found myself at the park watching Jackson go up and down the slid to many times to count. Every time he came down he would squeal in delight and then run back up to do it again. He had just told me to watch him go down the slid again when someone sat next to me.
"Well if it isn't Bella Swan the town slut and failure mother." Even after years of being away I would recognise that voice anywhere.
"Lauren I believe the town slut was you. I wasn't the one found under the bleachers every second day with a new guy." I said giving her a quick glance before turning back to watching Jackson to make sure that he didn't come over here to hear what was being said and to make sure that he was safe.
"But you're still a failure of a mother." She spat back.
"I'm not arguing with you there." I replied calmly.
"Holy shit Swans not fighting back. What the hell happened to you?" She laughed
"Lauren where at a children's playground where children obviously play, where my child is obviously is playing so watch your language. Just because I'm not fighting you for calling me a failure of a mother doesn't mean I will let you sit here and swear in front of my son." I spat back at her, she could say all she wanted about me but there were limits when there were children around especially my own.
"I don't give a fuck if the children hear especially your son because with a mother like you he is going to have a fucked up life. You're just lucky that Edward was the one who got you pregnant so he could take the kid out of the shit hole that you call a home."
"Back off or I will break that fake pretty nose on your face like I broke your natural one." I threatened. Giving her a warn glare while I notice that she did actually have a nose job done.
She started to say something else when I saw Jackson fall of the stairs climbing up to the slid. Before he could even let out a cry I was over there kneeling by his side.
"Are you ok baby?" I asked looking down at him and the tears that were in his eyes.
"My hand hurts." He sobbed as he held up his hand for me to see. I noticed it was swelling quite quickly, I gathered him in my arms and cursed myself for not being closer to him to make sure that he couldn't fall. I ran to my car glad that I had driven down here instead of walking, I strapped Jackson into his seat which my dad had put in here a couple of days ago and speed to the hospital. I didn't worry about getting a speeding ticket because my son was more important. He was crying in the backseat and I couldn't do anything for him.
"It's ok baby mummy's going to make the pain go away I promise." I tried to sooth but he just kept crying. I managed to get to the hospital in record time and ran inside with Jackson.
"My son's hurt his hand I need to see a doctor right away." I cried at the nurse behind the emergency desk.
"Ma'am take a seat and fill out these forms and a doctor will be with you as soon as possible." She said shoving a pile of forms at me.
"No he needs to see a doctor right now, don't you understand that he's in pain." I yelled at her all the while cradle Jackson against me trying to calm him.
"Ma'am please calm down or I'll" She didn't get to finish her sentence because Edward walked in then.
"Bella? What are you doing here?" He asked and then looked at the crying Jackson in my arms.
"What happened?" He asked as he took him from my arms.
"He fell off the slid. I'm so sorry Edward." I cried. I knew that he wouldn't let me see Jackson after this I had just proven to him and myself that I was a failure of a mother just like Lauren had said. He ushered me into an exam room before closing the door and putting Jackson down on the bed.
"Show me where it hurts little man." Edward said to Jackson. Jackson held his hand out allowing his father to examine it.
I was standing in the background biting my lip thinking how terrible this day had turned out. I couldn't be trusted with my own son maybe I should have just stayed away and he wouldn't have been hurt.
"It's ok Jackson just a little sprain which needs some ice. Daddy's just going to get some you stay here and be good for mummy." At least he was still acknowledging me as mummy. When Edward walked out the door I went and sat on the bed next to Jackson and pulled him into my lap.
"You ok baby?" I asked as I ran my hand thru his hair and gave him a kiss. For all I knew this could be the last time I was this close to him again.
"It hurt." He said as he held his hand up to me.
"Here mummy will give it some of her special kisses to make it feel better." I said smiling bringing his hand to my lips and placing feather soft kissed all over it.
"Better?" I asked
"A bit" He said smiling up at me.
"Ok let's get this ice on the hand." Edward said I hadn't even realised he had come back into the room. He gently placed the ice on Jacksons hand, because Jackson was sitting on my lap it brought Edward really close to me and for the first time I noticed how the last three years had really man him into a handsome man. He wasn't just a teenager anymore he was a man, a father.
"Edward I'm so sorry." I whispered over the top of Jackson head.
"Just tell me what happened. I don't want to jump to conclusions but you bring my son in here with a sprained wrist it just doesn't sit right with me Bella." He replied calmly but I had a feeling it was for Jackson and not for me.
"I was watching him go up and down the slid and then Lauren came over and starting making comments. I gave her a quick glance before turning back to Jackson and that's when I saw him fall. I ran over to him before he even started crying. I'm so sorry I completely understand if you don't want me around him anymore." I cried I felt terrible for not being able to take care of Jackson properly even just for a few hours. After a few moments of my crying Edward finally spoke.
"Bella look at me." When I refused to look at him he grabbed my face and pulled it up so I had no choice.
"Bella it was an accident it happens you looked away for one second it could have happened to anyone, it could of happened to me. Kids fall over all the time we're just lucky it's not a broken bone, I'm amazed he hasn't had more trips to the emergency room seen as he is your son." He gave me his crooked smirk to show me that he was sincere in what he was saying. I gave him a watery smile back before hugging Jackson closer to me not wanting to let him go.
"Come on I'll drive us home, my shifts finished anyway." He said as he helped me up and I place Jackson more securely on my hip.
"What about my car?" I asked.
"I'll get someone to come get it later." He said as we walked outside to his car.
"Look I can drive myself home so you can just take Jackson and get him settled I'm sure this was a little scary for him." I offered thinking that would be easier for him.
"Bella I don't think he's going to let you go any time soon." He said nodding his head to Jackson who had my shirt fisted tightly in his little hands.
"Come back and stay for a while until he's settled and then we'll sort out how you'll get home." He said as he put his hand on the small of my back directing me to his car. I didn't argue any further and place Jackson in his seat before getting in myself.
When we got to Edward's Jackson refused to be out of my arms until he finally fell asleep. I placed him in his bed and gave him a kiss on the head.
"I love you baby boy." I said before standing and letting Edward do the same thing. I was standing in the lounge room when Edward came back out.
"You're really good with him you know." Edward said as he walked into the kitchen.
"I'm trying but I have no idea what I'm doing." I said embarrassed.
"Do you want something to drink?" He asked as he poured some juice for himself. I shook my head telling him no.
"So what did Lauren have to say this time?" Edward asked as he sat on the lounge and put his feet on the coffee table making himself comfortable.
"She just told me that I was the town slut and a failure of a mother." I looked away because I knew that it was true I was a failure of a mother especially after today.
"Bella don't listen to her. She's just jealous because she could never be the person you are. You came back and are giving parenting ago. You're a natural with him even if you don't see it. Today he didn't want me; he wanted you that should show you how much of a natural mother you are." He said staring straight into my eyes. He held his hand out to me which I took and he pulled me down so that I was sitting next to him.
"Don't listen to what anyone else has to say just take notice of Jackson, if he isn't happy with you he'll let you know he's very much like you in that way." He smiled at me and I once again flung my arms around him.
"Thank you, you always know what to say to make me feel better." I whispered into his neck.
"I would do anything for you." He whispered back as he pulled me closer, I swear as he did I felt him smell my hair.
"Did you just smell my hair?" I asked pulling back slightly.
"Maybe" He said embarrassed.
"You did." I accused but with a laugh to my voice.
"I've always like the smell of you Bella and I just wanted to remember it for one minute." He started blushing as he said that. I bit my lip hoping that this next step would be ok. I inched my face closer to his until we were only centimetres apart before slowing placing my lips to his. His lips slowing moved against mine until we had to pull away for air.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." I said going to get up but his arm held me in place.
"No you definitely should have done that." He said smirking before pulling me back for another.
The rest of the night I spent on Edward's lounge, in his arms, kissing and occasionally talking. I had no idea where this was leading but I wasn't going to give up a minute of kissing Edward. I wanted this to work out for Jackson. I wanted the best for my son and that included a proper family with me and Edward. I was going to work on that part for him.