Tara popped her head into the bathroom where Willow was sitting in the bath, bubbles surrounding her.
"You ready for me to wash your hair?"
Willow turned her head towards the doorway and Tara quickly rushed over to the edge of the bath, kneeling beside her wife when she saw the look of pure misery on the redhead's face.
"What's wrong sweetie? Are you hurting?"
"No," Willow almost spat out before turning her head away from Tara, "Can you just get outta here?"
Tara frowned in confusion.
"Willow?"
She tried to move her hand forwards to cup the smaller girl's check but Willow just pushed her away.
"I asked you to leave. Just go, okay?"
"No," Tara said almost angrily, leaning over the tub, "Not until you tell me what's wrong."
Willow just brought her knees up and dropped her head, deep sobs rising from her throat.
"Oh, Willow, sweetheart, it's okay," Tara said, her tone softening and her hand going to rub the redhead's back, "It's okay."
"No it's not," Willow sobbed, slightly muffled but loud enough for Tara to hear, "How can it be okay? How can you even look at me?"
Tara was at a loss as to what was wrong but knew she needed to stop her wife from crying so she gently lifted her head up and cupped her cheek, glad Willow didn't slap her away this time.
"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be able to look at you?"
Willow felt her eyes fill with fresh tears and let them flow down her cheeks.
"You...you had to put my socks on this morning."
Tara frowned once again in confusion; she remembered she'd had to help Willow put socks on that morning, but she'd done that every morning in the couple of weeks since the redhead had been home.
Even though Willow was getting better and stronger each day, there were still little things she was struggling with.
"Honey, that's..." Tara trailed off for a moment, unsure what to say, "We've been through this, remember? You need some help with some things for a little while, things I'm more than happy to help you with and you're not a burden or an inconvenience or anything but my sweet wife."
"It's not that," Willow sniffled, unable to keep the blonde's gaze, "I know you'd do anything to take care of me."
Tara just continued to gently rub her wife's back.
"Then what's got you so upset?"
Willow dropped her head into her knees again.
"How could you...how could you ever want me again?"
Tara shuffled forwards on the floor slightly; still unsure about exactly what was going on.
"Sweetheart, I don't know what you mean."
Willow continued to cry quietly into her knees, speaking through her tears.
"I can never be the person you saw me as before. Sure you love me, I know that, but now I'm your wife who you have to help get dressed and change bandages for and...I can't even wash myself without your help. I'm not your wife who you want so badly you just want to rip my clothes off anymore. How could I be?"
Willow's sobs got louder as she voiced the concern that had been plaguing her mind over the past few days, since Tara had pulled back during a smooching session and ran off to get her painkillers.
"Oh Willow," Tara replied in a sad voice, finally understanding the source of her wife's anguish.
Willow heard the sad tone of the blonde and began sobbing even harder when she felt the hand move off her back, taking it as a confirmation of her fears, hearing Tara's voice a moment later.
"Willow, look at me."
Willow shook her head into her knees, not wanting to see the look of pity she knew would be in Tara's eyes.
"Willow," Tara spoke again in a more commanding tone, "Look at me."
Willow raised her head, unable to hide the shame plastered all over her face but was surprised when she wasn't met by a look of pity but by Tara's unbuttoned shirt, her nipples poking out quite predominately through her bra.
She gulped and looked up, seeing the blonde was blushing lightly.
"They're not like that from the cold," Tara whispered, embarrassed despite herself, "It's because you're naked less than a foot away from me."
"Really?" Willow asked, sniffling and still overwhelmed with insecurity.
Tara went to cup the redhead's cheek again and nodded.
"You wanna know what I was thinking about when I was putting on your socks this morning? It wasn't that I was doing it 'cause you weren't able..." Tara moved her head forward conspiringly, her blush getting deeper, "It was how much I wanted to rip your panties off and bury my tongue deep inside you."
Willow's eyes widened and she felt a blush start to rise on her own cheeks as well.
"But...but you keep pulling away when we're kissing. I know you're tired 'cause you're back at work and everything but it's the weekend now and even this morning, you only gave me like a three second smooch when we woke up."
Tara sighed and stroked the skin under her thumb. She was definitely a little more tired than usual now that she was back at work, but both Michelle and Steph, her boss, were making sure her caseload was particularly light until Willow was back to full health and she'd been taking two-hour lunch breaks everyday so she could go home to make Willow lunch and help her with some of her exercise, while the redhead spent the rest of the day resting.
In the evenings the couple went for small walks around the neighbourhood and there was always at least one visitor a night calling round to check how Willow was holding up, especially Ira, who was still shaken by what had happened and Alice, who was settling into Buffalo and the office extremely well and in both Willow and Tara's opinion, never looked happier.
Also, Tuesday evenings meant dance classes for Buffy and Tara, who was continuing with the lessons, again at Willow's insistence, saying it was good for her to continue her hobby, despite Willow still being in the dark of the exact nature of the classes. All she knew was that Tara came back from them with a smile on her face and that's all she cared about.
However, being slightly more drained was not the reason Tara had been chastening their kissing. She sighed and took a moment to think how to voice what she needed to say.
"Willow, your body's not ready for us to...not yet anyway. As soon as it is..."
"I know I'm not ready," Willow replied, her tears having dried up, "But it doesn't hurt to kiss."
"That's good," Tara smiled, keeping her gaze locked with the smaller girl's, "That's definitely good. But, Willow, when I kiss you...I lose control. You make me lose control. And if I ever hurt you..."
Willow felt her fears start to dissipate completely as she began understanding what her wife meant.
"So you've been pulling back...in case you accidentally grope me?"
Tara had to laugh at the wording but nodded her head.
"Pretty much. But I had no idea it was making you feel this way. So how about we make a deal, okay? I promise that we can have some proper smooching sessions if you're okay with me jumping up every ten minutes or so to splash myself with some cold water."
Willow giggled for a moment before grinning.
"I can handle that."
"Yea?" Tara asked with a sweet smile and got a nod from the redhead, "Good."
Tara rested both her hands on the side of the tub and closed the rest of the small gap between them, letting their lips meet softly but with passion; the blonde kissing her wife ardently, her tongue running along the smaller girl's bottom lip before it entered her mouth and played with its twin teasingly for a few moments, then pulled back.
"Wow," Willow said, swallowing a few times as her cheeks flushed, "You haven't kissed me like in weeks."
"I'm sorry," Tara whispered genuinely, "I won't let that happen again."
They shared a smile for a moment until Tara looked down into the bath.
"Is the water still warm?"
"Yea," Willow nodded, running a hand through the water and picking up some of the bubbles, "It's still nice and...what're you doing?"
Willow watched as Tara slipped her open shirt off her shoulders and removed her bra, before standing up and shaking herself out of her jeans and panties so she was completely naked, then stepped into the bath behind the redhead.
"Having a bath with my wife," Tara said, sitting down and pulling Willow between her legs, resting her hands over the redhead's stomach, "How's that?"
"That's good," Willow whispered, leaning back into the embrace, "You feel so nice. So soft."
Tara sighed softly and rested her chin gently on the smaller girl's shoulder.
"What do you say we start taking some more baths together? And we can sleep naked and cuddle. That way we can be close without putting any strain on you. And I promise," Tara paused for a moment to place a kiss on her wife's shoulder, "I will spend at least half an hour each and every night kissing you senseless. Just kissing your sweet lips."
Willow sighed as well and nuzzled her cheek against Tara's.
"That sounds really good. I've missed that part of us. I miss the intimacy. Not just the sex, you know? I mean, that's nice, that's...that's really, really nice but I miss-"
"Feeling like we're one person?" Tara asked quietly.
Willow gave a small nod as her eyes closed.
"Yea."
Tara lifted a hand up and covered the redhead's heart with her hand, careful not to touch her almost completely-healed but still tender scar.
"Feel it here, sweetheart. Until we can physically be one again, feel it here."
"I do," Willow whispered, "I do now. This is helping."
Tara trailed a series of small kisses along her wife's shoulder.
"We're not gonna let the intimacy slide again, okay? I promise."
Willow's body visibly relaxed even further into Tara's.
"Me too. I promise too."
"Good," Tara replied, placing a soft kiss on Willow's cheek before taking a plastic cup that was on the side of the bath and filling it with water, tipping it over her wife's head.
Willow kept her eyes closed as Tara quietly and lovingly washed her hair, massaging her scalp lightly in the process until both the shampoo and conditioner had been washed out and the last of the suds were running down her back.
"Tara?"
Tara hummed quietly as wiped soap bubbles from her skin.
"Yes, my love?"
Willow turned her head to meet the blonde's gaze, small, almost non-existent but still-present insecurity shining in her eyes.
"You didn't just say all that to make me feel better, right? You really meant it?"
Tara gazed at Willow adoringly for a moment before placing a gentle kiss on the side of her mouth, then moving her lips to sing softly in her ear.
You're not alone,
Together we stand,
I'll be by your side,
You know I'll take your hand.
Tara took Willow's hand under the water as she sang, squeezing it tightly.
When it gets cold,
And it feels like the end,
There's no place to go,
You know I won't give in.
No I won't give in.
Willow exhaled slowly as she recognised the song lyrics and relaxed completely into her wife's embrace, enjoying the singing.
Keep holding on...
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Just stay strong...
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you.
Tara smiled as she felt Willow relax and brought her spare hand up to push her red hair off her neck, placing soft kisses there as she continued to sing.
There's nothing you could say, nothing you could say,
Nothing you could do, nothing you could do...
There's no other way when it comes to the truth.
So keep holding on...
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Tara hummed the interlude of the song for a few moments before singing again.
Hear me when I say,
When I say I believe,
Nothing's gonna change,
Nothing's gonna change destiny.
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly.
La da da da...
La da da da...
Tara grinned as Willow joined in quietly, both half-singing, half-humming the next line together.
La da da da da da da da da.
Willow stopped after that, self-conscious about her voice for any actual singing but Tara turned their heads so they were looking at each other and sang the final verse with all the emotion she had, gazing into the redhead's eyes.
So keep holding on...
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Just stay strong...
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you.
There's nothing you could say, nothing you could say,
Nothing you could do, nothing you could do,
There's no other way when it comes to the truth.
So keep holding on...
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
Willow cupped Tara's cheek as the blonde finished and kissed her with a soft tenderness, their lips moving gently against each other for a few moments.
"Thank you," Willow said when she pulled back, leaning her head down and resting her cheek against her wife's shoulder.
Tara tilted her head so it was resting on top of Willow's, bringing a hand up and running it over the redhead's shoulder and down her arm in a repetitive motion as she thought of the thing her wife had said to her a few weeks ago, right after Michelle had brought up the subject of visiting her mother's grave.
She quietly kissed Willow's temple and repeated the words in a whisper into her wife's ear.
"Never thank me for loving you."