Chapter Six:

Missouri walked into her house, and set her purse down on a side table. Taking off her jacket she started speaking.

"That boy." She said quietly. "He has such powerful abilities."

She turned a corner, and stood in the doorway of her living room, looking at the man sitting on her couch, head in his hands. "But why he couldn't sense his own father, I have no idea."

John looked up at her, eyes red and swollen. He swallowed hard and then started compulsively turning his wedding ring around his finger. "Mary's spirit...do you really think she saved the kids?" He hated how rough his voice sounded.

"I do." Missouri said gently. When John didn't answer, but just continued to play with his wedding ring, Missouri sighed. "John Winchester I could just slap you! Why won't you just go talk to your children?"

John breathed in a watery sigh, and turned to face her. Misouri was almost floored by the pain in his eyes. "I want to. You have no idea how much I wanna see 'em. Deanna especially. God, she looks like her mother." John took a deep breath. "But I can't. Not yet. Not until I know the truth."

Missouri and John just stared at each other, letting the world move on around them in the silence.

O~O~O

Dean pulled up outside the motel that was serving as their home of the week with a sigh. He was cold and tired, and he knew Sam was too. Tracking a rawhead through the woods was not their idea of a good time.

Dean glanced over at Sam. He'd been quiet since that morning. Something was up. He just wasn't sure what.

"You want first shower?" Dean asked, crawling out of the car at a snail's pace. Sam crawled out just the same.

Sam rolled his shoulders. "Naw. Why don't I get food, and you take a shower, and then I'll grab one when I get back."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam. "Sammy. What's going on?"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Nothing. I'm just want food more than a shower at this point."

Dean knew his brother. He knew Sam was lying about something. Dean stared him down for a moment longer, before holding out his keys. "You get one scratch on my baby..."

"And I'm toast. I know. Sometimes I think your priorities are a little skewed." Sam said with a grin, taking the keys.

Dean was still suspicious, but at the moment, was too tired and to think past it. After watching Sam leave the parking lot, he turned and unlocked the room door, flipped on the light, and almost shot the person sitting on his bed before he realized who it was.

"Damn it, Deanna!" He yelled, slamming the door shut, trying to get his heart to stop beating a million times a second. "The Hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you." She said, voice even and calm. Even so, Dean could see the anger boiling just under her eyes.

The light bulb went on for Dean then. Wary annoyance replaced the adrenaline. "You and Sam set this up."

"And you walked right into it." She said. There was no smile, no eye brow quirk. Just a pissed off little sister sitting on his bed. "Sit down, Dean."

"I think I'll stand." Dean countered.

"Sit. Down." she said, voice full of Winchester fire as she stood up, drawing herself up to her full height. Even though Dean still towered over her, he had to admit, she had presence.

"No." he said, staring her down.

Before Dean even had time to blink, he was staring at the carpet, a hundred pounds of twin sitting on his leg, his arm twisted painfully behind his back. He struggled, and she twisted even more.

"You can either sit in the chair, and you can tell me what the hell you think you're doing, or you can tell me like this. Your choice, big brother." Still no emotion other than the carefully masked anger, hidden only where Dean would know to look for it.

Dean fought for a moment, before expertly flipping her off his back and pinning her to the ground. She got her foot up between them and shoved him of, rolled backwards, and was up standing, facing off with him at the same time he did.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" he asked.

"My imaginary older brother." she said, still glaring at him.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You're pissed."

"Ya think?" she asked, putting one hand on her hip. "I thought we agreed we were doing this together. That when you two left, I was going wtih you."

Dean dropped his fighting stance. "I couldn't do that to you, Deanna. I couldn't take you from your life."

"Don't you think that should have been my decision to make?"

Dean stared at her. "No. I don't. You think you want to be a hunter because of Sam and me. I can't let you give up a life you obviously love, for us."

"You mean for you." Deanna said. "You think you're the only one allowed to sacrifice for your family. But you're wrong."

"I sacrifice for this family so that you and Sam don't have to." Dean countered.

"Which leads us back to choice. Coming with you guys is my choice. Leaving Lawrence is my choice."

"Well it's the wrong one!" Dean yelled.

"Tell me why." Deanna said calmly. "Convince me to go back."

Dean plopped down in the chair with a sigh. "It's your home, Annie. You have a house, a family, and friends. You have a job that you adore, and students that you love. I can't take that away from you. I already destroyed Sam's chance at normal. I'm not going to do that to you." Dean looked her square in the eye. "Sammy and I...the Impala is our home. Skivy motel rooms count as a roof over our heads. Take-out is the closest thing we get to home cooking. Our friends are hunting buddies. People who come in to watch our backs and then take off again. People we only see when one of us needs something from the other. Our job can kill us...or worse. I wake up every morning, and wonder if this is the last time I see Sam or Dad again. Do you really want that? Last week, I was almost sacrificed to a pagan god. The week before that, Sam shot me full of rock salt because he was possessed by the spirit of an insane psychotherapist. Had he killed me, he would have killed himself too, and you would have been an only child. Is that the kind of life you want? Really?"

Deanna stared back at Dean. "I never felt like Lawrence was home. Never. It never seemed right. The closest I've felt to home was when I was sitting in the back of that stupid car. I have a house, yeah, but it's just me. Val and Danny were killed three years ago. The brakes went out on their car and they drove off a bridge."

Dean flinched, but didn't say anything, so Deanna just continued. "I have friends, but they're all kids. And if they aren't kids, then they're the parents of the kids. And you're right. I do adore my job. And I love my students. But I want you think about this carefully: Do you really think I love my job more than I love my brothers?"

Dean raised his eyes to look at her. "You're not a hunter, Annie. You're a dancer."

"Dad wasn't a hunter. He was a mechanic." she pointed out. "Sam's not a hunter. He's a lawyer. Seems like the only hunter here is you."

Dean hung his head, and then started when delicate, manicured hands rested on his knees. "You can't push me away, Dean. You can't push Sam away. If you do, you're going to be left, standing alone against the forces of evil. You're right, we weren't born for this, and no one choses this life...but maybe this life chooses us."

Dean raised his gaze to look at her, and saw love and acceptance shining back at him in those bright green eyes. "What if I don't want it to choose you?" He asked.

Deanna cocked an eyebrow. "What do you want, Dean?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. Wanting and wishing never does anyone any good." He said cynically, standing up and pushing her away. "It's pointless and sad to think about."

Deanna was silent, and Dean turned around to look at her. She looked sad. "That's exactly what I'm talking about, Dean."

"What?"

"Dean, you've done more good for the world in twenty years than anyone I've ever heard of. You sacrifice your happiness and your future every day, because you think you're doing the right thing. I don't know of anyone who is that selfless." She took a step towards him. "But eventually, you're going to push away everyone who cares about you, and all that's going to be left of my devil-may-care, fun, protective, and amazing big brother is going to be a cynical and tired old man."

Dean huffed at her, and turned his back, looking out the window. "Selfless. Right."

"Huh?" Deanna asked behind him.

"Do you know what I want, Deanna?" He whirled on her. "I want my mom back. I want to know my Dad is safe. I want to watch my brother graduate from law school. I want to be able to get to know my sister, and be there for her. But this fight...this life is never going to let me have that. So, knowing that, yeah, I want you to come with us. I want you to be able to get to know Sammy. I want to hang out with my twin, because I feel like a piece of me that has been missing is finally there every time you're near. The last three weeks without you have been Hell, and I wanted to turn around every minute and drive back to Kansas to get you. I wanted you with us so bad. And that is how I know I'm selfish. I'm not the hero you seem to think I am."

Deanna stood there quietly through his outburst, and then stepped forward. "Seems to me there is a six foot sasquatch that rides around with you, who wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Numerous times. Theres a little girl in Maine, that would have been trapped in a cellar forever, had you not known where to look. A guy that would have been in jail for the rest of his life had you not killed the thing that was using his face to kill people. A small family in Colorado that would have been a man short had to you not killed the cannibalistic creature that wanted to eat him." She met his gaze head on. "But no, you're right. You're not a hero at all."

"You're mocking me." Dean complained.

"You need it." she replied, smiling at him. Letting her smile slip, she started again, completely serious. "You didn't destroy Sam's life. You asked for his help, gave him the choice, and he chose to go with you. Neither one of you could have known what would happen. And you're not going to destroy my life. I said I was coming with you. I'm a big girl. You're not responsible for my actions. My choices are just that: My choice. I own them, not you. You can't take it upon yourself to make everyone happy...to keep everyone safe. Sometimes, its okay to do what you want...to make yourself happy once in a while."

Dean looked at her for a moment. Finally he let a small smile cross his face. "You are insanely stubborn. You know that?"

She grinned back. "Hmm...wonder where I got it from."

Dean rolled his eyes before looking at her seriously. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Positive. My decision. My choice."

Dean opened his mouth and the motel room door opened. Sam looked from Deanna to Dean, and then back at Deanna. "Well...nothing's broken and nobody's bleeding. I'll take that as a good sign."

Deanna grinned and reached over to take the bags of food from Sam's hands. Dean watched the two of them banter back and forth, and when Deanna caught him watching and gave him a smile, Dean had to smile back. Having his family together, was all he'd ever wanted, and it made something inside him that had clenched tight, slowly release.

Maybe, just maybe, everything would work out.

He took a container from Sam, and sat down on the edge of the bed. Deanna picked up her own fork and started eating, looking between her brothers as she went.

"So, catch up the newbie. What the Hell is a rawhead?"

Author's Note: This might be my favorite chapter yet. :) Let me know what you guys think.