A/N - Hey all, hope you're well! Sorry this one is kind of short - I've been out with the flu all week! I hope you enjoy it anyway...

Chapter Fifteen: Targeted

I stared at the six letter word without enthusiasm. In fact, I was starting to feel a little sick. I knew that I shouldn't have come back here – there were so many good memories, but I felt sure that I wouldn't be the only one remembering the awkward ones as well.

I re-read the bulletin.

Dear RA, please review with your hall the rules and regulations concerning BLAMMO. BLAMMO is a game that is intended to be fun and inclusive. However, nobody may be forced to participate, and the aim of the activity is to promote a sense of community among campers, rather than competitiveness. In light of this, the rules of past years have been revised to include a safety policy – this means non-violent tagging, no running or other activities that could lead to injury, etc. Thank you, and best of luck – unlike campers, all RAs MUST participate! ~Admin.

Well isn't that just dandy. The one thing that was most likely to dredge up memories of my failed pursuit of Edward, and his failed pursuit of Tanya, and we were both forced to participate. Again.

In all honesty, I probably wouldn't have minded so much if Tanya herself hadn't shown up at camp at four in the morning. As it transpired, she too was an RA. Her flight down from Alaska – where she had been spending the first part of the summer teaching underprivileged children – had been badly delayed, causing her to miss all of her connecting flights. Whoop-de-freaking-do.

Wasn't that just my luck?

Things were finally looking hopeful with Edward – we had shared gelato in the park, talking nonstop, just the two of us – and miss ice princess returns to swoop it all away.

I cut my bitter internal monologue short when all my little charges filtered into the room.

"Hey, guys," I said brightly. "How was your first day of class?"

Jessica was the first to flounce into the room, and of course, had to be the first to share her opinion. "Ehhh, it was alright," she declared. "There's only really one hot boy in our class."

"Oh, yeah?" I surveyed her in amusement. "Is that all you learned?"

"Well, no," she bit her lip. "I mean, class was good, too, but it's the first day, you know? I have to scope out my prospects."

This girl was a trip. "Okay, I'll bite. What's his name?" I asked, as the other girls took a seat. I was curious to see if she'd be bold enough to reveal her crush in front of all her hall mates on the very first day. She was.

"Mike. Mike Newton," she said with excitement. It was a good sign that she had moved on so quickly from her brief RA crushes. That could have gotten uncomfortable…if hilarious.

I would do all the guy RAs a favor and do what I could to get Mike and Jessica together. He was in Edward's hall, after all, so it would be easy to get the scoop on him. Oh, God, I was turning into Alice with the matchmaking thing. She had told me someday that it would happen, but I hadn't believed her.

As it turned out, Mike Newton beat me to the punch. When I took my girls to sign up for Blammo, it transpired that he and this very aggressive kid Paul were this year's Dictators of the Universe. Great. I bet Edward was loving that.

He threw me a grimace, and mouthed 'both mine' as Mike and Paul enjoyed the limited limelight that nerd camp could offer. I sure hoped that their parents had stuck them in student government back home – these kids needed an outlet.

"Bella Swan?" Mike called eagerly, having finished his solemn explanation of the rules. He beckoned me forward and I followed him a little ways down the hall so he could tell me my target in secrecy.

Instead of giving me the name right away, Mike looked me up and down quickly, offering me a smile that was entirely too lascivious for my comfort. "I'd like to Blammo you," he said slowly.

"Inappropriate," I choked.

He made his eyes go wide like he was confused, but there was still the ghost of a smirk on his face. "How?" he asked curiously.

So. Not. Having. This. Conversation. It was only the second day of camp, and already I had a pint-sized perv after me. Boy, Jessica was going to flip a shit if she ever found out about this. Not only did I have this kid, but possibly Jake, and Edward as well. Quite the reversal since my own lonely camp days.

"Just tell me who my target is," I ordered. I was the one in charge. Yeah.

"Okay," he scrolled down his list with a final wink at me. "You have Tanya Denali."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

I clamped my hand over my mouth. Mike jumped back when I'd yelled, looking a little scared. Carlisle poked his head out of his office, looking concerned.

"Is everything all right?" he inquired, his eyebrows raised.

"Uhh, yeah," I stuttered, blushing to my roots. "Sorry."

I muttered thanks to Mike and scurried back outside before any more unfortunate incidents could occur.

"I see you've met Mr. Newton," Edward commented with obvious distaste as I reemerged from the building.

"You better keep an eye on him," I warned in an undertone. "I don't know if there have been any camp babies before, but I wouldn't want to be responsible for a new crop of little nerds in nine months…"

"Please, he is all talk," Edward snorted. "I mean, look at him – I could snap his head with my little finger."

We shut up as Carlisle walked by. Our conversation was not exactly model RA talk.

"So, are you going to tell me who your target is?" he asked lightly.

"Not a chance," I replied. "But feel free to tell me yours, if you'd like."

"I'll decline," he smirked.

"In that case, good luck. You're going to need it," I informed him, smiling and flouncing away in search of Tanya. Unlike Edward, I was so going to Blammo her ass.