I think I did a pretty good job in the updating, right? I mean it hasn't been tooo long. LOL, deep breath in people, and brace yourselves... Chapter title by Ingrid Michaelson.

Disclaimer: Sometimes I think that since I wrote the chapter, you guys should write your own disclaimer. So I'm leavin' in open this time. Anything you want, as long as it doesn't get me sued. Kay? Good. On with the story...

Chapter 22: Be Ok

It is curious how life and death situations make time stop and memory blank. Some time down the road, when the dust had settled, Lilly wouldn't remember how they made it to Fairhill Mall, nor would she have any idea how long it took. They could've flown on a jet, they could've crawled. She wouldn't even remember if Vera and Miller were next to her. All she knew was that her heart was pounding out of her chest the entire time.

She donned a bullet proof vest, emblazoned with fluorescent identifying letters, and was numbly aware of people around her doing the same. A crowd was starting to gather beyond the yellow police tape like vultures to a carcass, hungry for blood, feeding off fear, smelling death in the air. It made Lilly sick to her stomach.

She looked up at the building the police were quickly swarming. It looked so peaceful from the outside. You couldn't tell what horror was happening on the inside, the people who were at risk. Lilly wondered which of those uniform windows led to the room Scotty was trapped in, against his will. In an instant, Lilly understood how he must have felt waiting outside the night she was shot. It was enough to make someone crazy.

"How the hell does someone on the run get their hands on explosives?" Vera grumbled as he slipped into his bullet proof vest. The boring afternoon had definitely taken a turn for the worse, and Nick couldn't help but wish for the ringing phones again.

Kat shook her head darkly. "When you're facin' life in a little box, who knows what you could be capable of." She shuddered slightly and asked. "How's Lil?"

Nick looked over at their blond colleague, standing apart from all the other cops and staring up at the building as though it held the answer to all her problems. And it did, he supposed. In that moment, Nick Vera was sure that whatever Scotty felt for Lil, she felt the exact same. He'd never seen that look of pure terror on her face before, not even after she'd been shot, and they were wheeling her almost lifeless form out of the precinct.

"It ain't fair." He said softly. "It just…" He looked for the right words to express how - how wrong this was. Briefly, he recalled his and Scotty's conversation from that morning.

I'm gonna tell her man, next opportunity I get.

Kat put a comforting hand on his arm. It was just for a second, but Nick was reminded that Lilly and Scotty had forever. He had forever for the next opportunity to pop up. Now was not the time to be mourning. Now was the time to be beating information out of those SWAT teams.

They seemed to be thinking the same thing, because the next moment, Kat was telling him to help out in any way he can, while she went to Lilly. He nodded, springing into action.

"Lil." Kat said, sidling up to her female colleague. She wondered what to say when everything about Lilly screamed of 'don't touch' and 'shut up'. Maybe standing next to her in silence would be better than any words she could offer.

"How did you do it?" Lilly asked blankly, still staring straight ahead. "When Ed was in the bullpen with the gun." She continued. "How did you just wait outside?"

Kat took Lilly's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. She remembered all too well the fear and horror, knowing Nick was trapped with an angry gunman, not to mention the rest of her team. It was paralyzing. "You just, hope, that they'll be okay." She offered, knowing it wouldn't help. Sometimes people need more than hope.

Lilly shook her head fiercely. "Nah, I can't." She said frantically. "I've got to go in there. It's my fault he's in there."

Her female colleague nodded sympathetically, not bothering to correct her. Lilly shook her head as if trying to clear the cobwebs and spun on her heel, stalking purposefully toward the gaggle of detectives, officers, and agents alike.

"What do we got?" Lilly asked, all business. Trying to disguise the tremor in her voice and the tell tale sheen in her eyes. Don't you dare cry, Rush. Pull it together. There we go. Good girl.

The agents studied the two female detectives critically. Lilly could tell that they were having the internal battle as to whether or not information would be given out. She was the flicker in their eyes before giving into their furious glares.

"He's got four police officers and 32 civilians, a mother and her kid, and a store owner." Agent Nelson said dejectedly. "He's barricaded himself that store." He continued, gesturing at a small window a few stories up.

Scotty looked around the small jewelry shop, taking stock of their chances. He cursed his bad luck. Of all the teams that could've responded to this particular call, it had to be his team. Lil must be terrified, he thought with frustration.

They were sitting on the floor. Him, the three other detectives in his team, whose names had temporarily been wiped from his mind, two poor civilians that'd been caught in the fray, and the unfortunate shop owner. Wayne Simms paced the middle of the room, wearing a small black box taped to his chest that could probably blow up the whole building. One push of a button… Scotty gulped, not wanting to think on it.

His thoughts turned to Lilly instead. He wondered if they'd let her be part of the hostage negotiations, if he could talk to her, if he would get to tell her he loved her. Maybe they'd go straight to the sharp shooters this time. After all, there were 7 lives at stake. His hand travelled over to his empty holster, remembering all too well that they'd all been stripped of their weapons 20 minutes ago. Oh well, one can still hope, can't they?

"You ain't gettin' outta this alive." Scotty spoke suddenly, ignoring the furious glances from the other detectives and the fearful ones from the civilians, who had probably never seen a gun, let alone 4 guns and a bomb.

"Shut up." Simms spat back. He continued to pace the room, contemplating his next move. Kill the blond. That had been his plan. This wasn't going well for him.

Scotty ignored him and pressed on, knowing it was probably stupid. "They're gonna blow your brains out." He said lethally.

"Shut up!" He yelled again. "Or I'll blow us all up right now!"

Scotty fell silent. Their captor didn't need to point a gun to threaten them, not when he was wearing a button that could destroy them all in a second. His eyes travelled to the door, barricaded shut by a chair, and the sole window that opened to the outside. Simms hadn't thought to cover it. Maybe that meant shooters could take aim? Scotty wasn't sure, but he wasn't about to take the chance.

He glanced instead at the phone sitting on the store owner's desk. Surely they'd negotiate before shooting, right? Scotty blew out a deep breath. No matter how trapped and cornered he felt, he was sure his colleagues outside felt worse. Inwardly, he thanked the powers upstairs that he was the one in here, and not one of the others. He could handle danger, what he couldn't handle was someone he loved in danger.

Scotty looked over at the woman clutching a toddler sitting on the floor next to them. Luckily, they were the only two civilians who were in this store at the time. Or unluckily. Scotty wasn't sure which. She was sobbing, rocking back and forth and attempting to shield her child from harm. For a moment, Scotty thought to reach out and comfort her, but he didn't have it in him, not when the person he wanted to reach out to was outside…

The sharp trill of a phone interrupted his harried thoughts and Scotty's head snapped up, immediately fixating on the black phone on the table. Simms picked up one of the guns, and took aim, fully prepared to empty the clip at the offending object but Scotty stopped him with a shout.

"Don't." He called urgently. "You should pick it up." Simms paused, his hand hovering over the safety of the gun, prepared to click it off. "They could get you what you want."

"What I want, is to not go to jail." He spat angrily. "You think those damn cops could get me that?" His sarcastic tone wasn't lost on Scotty, but he responded as though he was serious.

"Maybe," Scotty lied, "You could cut a deal, or somethin'." No way in hell.

"Yeah. Yeah I could." Without a second thought, Simms pointed his gun threateningly at Scotty and indicated he sit his ass back down. With no weapon to possibly defend himself, Scotty obliged, instilling himself back between two other detectives, both of whom were flashing him furious looks. You could've gotten us killed. They said with their eyes.

After making sure Scotty was not a threat to him, Wayne Simms picked up the ringing phone.

FBI Special Agent Nelson was a seasoned professional when it came to hostage negotiations. He'd never met a nut job he couldn't talk out of killing themselves and taking several innocents with them. Sure, it took a certain amount of bribery, lying, and plain manipulation… but it always worked out. He felt no fear when the ringing in his ear clicked and the line filled with heavy breathing.

"Wayne Simms?" He asked. "My name is Agent Nelson, but you can call me Nell. Now if we work together, no one has to get hurt, alright?" Give him a sense of security, offer a friendly voice, make him trust you.

The voice that answered him was chilling in its cold indifference. "Listen, Agent. I'm wearing enough explosives to demolish the biggest mall in this pathetic city. We're not working together. You're going to give me what I want, understand?"

Agent Nelson swallowed hard. This wasn't rare. In fact, it was the veneer most doers put on initially. You just had to go with it, he'd learned over the years. "We can do that." He said quietly. "Tell me what you want… and I'll see what I can do." He offered, the fake kindness permeating his voice.

"I want to talk to Detective Lilly Rush."

The Agent nodded, beckoning one of his team members to get the mysterious detective from Philly, stat. A moment later, an ashen faced blond was by his side. He handed the phone wordlessly to Lilly with a questioning glance.

"Rush." Lilly answered brusquely. She tried to calm her racing heart. This was what she wanted, to be doing something. Ever since they'd arrived at the scene, sitting still was killing her. This was good. This was something.

"Hi Lilly." The friendly voice on the other line made Lilly clench her fist. "Did you miss me?"

Cut to the chase. "What do you want?" She asked harshly. Inwardly, she wondered if he would let her talk to Scotty. Probably not.

He thought for a moment. He wanted her of course, to make her and her team pay for putting him in jail. But hell, he was going to have some fun with this. "Not so fast." He crooned. "Don't you want to play?"

"What do you want?" Lilly repeated firmly.

Simms gave an over-exaggerated sigh. "How 'bout a helicopter. On the roof."

"Can't do that." Lilly immediately responded. "Unless… you've gotta give me something in return." Bargain with him. Hostage negotiations 101. Police academy, the second month. Lilly brushed the dust of the long unused skills.

"Name your price detective." He teased.

Scotty. Give me Scotty and anything you say goes. Lilly knew the protocal though, and as much as it pained her, she knew the civilians came first. Always. "Let them go." She said quietly. "The mom and the kid."

Twenty minutes later, a small commercial helicopter had landed on the roof of the mall and two of their hostages were sitting safely in squad cars, shaken but otherwise unharmed. The breath everyone had let out had long past, and they were gearing up for the next battle. Two down, five to go.

Lilly picked up the phone that was now a direct line to the small jewelry store with minimal trepidation. Somewhere along the line, she'd snapped back into detective mode, from the frantic girlfriend mode, a small relief. "I got you your helicopter." She said, feigning indifference.

"I got you your hostages." Wayne Simms replied. She could practically hear him smiling on the other side of the line and if reality allowed it she would've reached through the phone and wiped the smirk permanently off his face…

"Anything else?" She asked coolly instead.

"You."

"You want me in there?" She repeated. She put her hand over the phone's mouthpiece and looked at the people around her. There was a mixture of the concerned, the angry, the scared, and the ones who cared. She only needed the okay from one person and she sought him out with a blazing stare.

Agent Nelson looked back at her. "You know we can't do that." He said slowly.

"Just swap me in for someone else," Lilly whispered fiercely. She could hear Wayne Simms hollering at her from inside the phone. They didn't have much time left.

Irritation surged in his eyes. "Sure, lemme just see what the policy is on our hostage exchange program." He spat with exasperation.

Frantically, Lilly turned her gaze to Vera and Miller. They had to support her right? They had to understand that staying out here while one of their own – no, not just one of their own, her boyfriend – was trapped in there. It just wasn't an option.

Kat nodded understandingly. "SWAT is in position." She reasoned. "Soon as they get a clear shot, they'll take it. You probably won't even have time to get into the building."

"I dunno." Nick said with concern. "If they're gonna shoot him any minute, what the point in Lil going in there?" He asked.

The question hung in the air until Lilly volunteered an answer. "It'll make him think we're still negotiating. That way we'll have a better chance." She said softly. She looked once again to Agent Nelson, who gave a reluctant nod.

Lilly turned away from them, not wanting anyone else to see the fear in her eyes. "Alright." She spoke into the phone. "I can come in there, but you're going to have to let someone else out."

He agreed readily. "How about this lovely partner of yours?" He offered. Lilly thought she could hear a muffled cry of protest from the other side. Maybe it was just wistful thinking. "He's getting on my nerves anyways."

Lilly started to nod, then realized with some chagrin that he couldn't see her. "Deal." She agreed.

"I'll send our friend down now." Came the reply from the cold voice. "But I'll be watching from the window. And if he steps one foot out of the building before you get in here… boom." He imitated a sound effect that was meant to scare her, but all Lilly could think of was one word. The window. If he'd be at the window, that meant their plan was working. She hung up and started to walk toward the mall, barely noticing when someone clipped a walkie talkie onto her belt and another person squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

From her place behind the police barricades, Lilly had no idea it was such a long walk to the main doors of Fairhill Mall. But it was. It was long, empty, exposed, and just… cold. Lilly glanced back across the street, to the small apartment complex where sharp shooters were stationed on the 3rd story, directly opposite from Wayne Simms. She resisted the urge to look again, not wanting to give anything away, in case he was watching.

Unconsciously, she rubbed her arms against the cold. She was halfway there now and took a moment to glance from side to side. There was a fountain. It must have been beautiful in the summer, spitting clear water into the sky, but now it was just dreary, with some grey, frozen ice at the bottom. She thought maybe she could see Scotty, standing just on the inside of the doors, looking worried. Lilly felt the idea of a smile cross her mind, even in this situation. It would all be okay. Scotty didn't know that it would be over any minute now, that they were planning to shoot, that he wouldn't have to let her go in there…

Suddenly, Lilly heard a small voice crackle from nowhere and stopped dead in her tracks. The walkie talkie. She unclipped the electronic device, feeling an inexplicable sense of foreboding and brought it closer to her face.

"Rush. They missed. SWAT missed, suspect is injured and fuckin' pissed. Do you copy? Evacuate the premise this minute. Rush! Get out of there."

Lilly felt her heart stop, and she must have dropped the walkie talkie because the next minute she couldn't feel it in her hands anymore, but she didn't hear the meaningless plastic hit the tarmac. Her eyes fixed on the human form standing oblivious inside the door, Scotty. She had to get to Scotty.

She inhaled sharply and prepared to yell and scream for him to run out here now, but any noise she could've made was lost in an explosion of brick and mortar, raining down from the sky like lethal rain.

Aw, I'm cruel aren't I? Leaving things like that? You'll forgive me, sometime, I'm sure. Meanwhile, would it be too much to ask for a little review for my efforts? If you're out there, gimme a shout out. Luv ya guys.