A/N - I am SO sorry for the one-day delay last week; I hope this makes up for it! Also, this story is coming to an end: there are about two chapters left. But...I already have 8 chapters of my next story ready to go, so expect some shameless promotion in the next two weeks! I hope you're all well, and enjoy!

Chapter Twenty: Blammo

The next week was awkward for me, and not just because it was the last week; seeing my charges and co-workers cross-dress was not nearly as uncomfortable as the attentions of Jake, Tyler, Mike, the glares from Tanya and Jessica, and my studious avoidance of Edward.

It was a relief to drop the kids off at class each day, because then I could run to my hiding spot before anyone else could approach me.

On Monday, Jake had caught me as I tried to sneak off, trapping me into going for a walk with him. I liked Jake a lot - he was easy to talk to, and he made me laugh, but when he leaned in to kiss me and I pulled away, our friendly conversation basically died.

On Tuesday, I was stalking Tanya in an effort to Blammo her, lying down in the bushes while she flirted with Jake, who was rumored to be on the market. Sadly, I was spotted by Tyler, who swaggered over to invite me to his room, if I was looking for a comfortable place to sleep. Needless to say, I declined.

On Wednesday, I decided to avoid people altogether, and ran for my little spot with my tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice.

I loved my secret spot - I had found it when I had come here as a camper, looking for somewhere to go when I just didn't feel like listening to Alice and Rose instruct me on how to put on subtle eyeliner, and how to control my gag reflex.

The campus chapel was gorgeous, more like a cathedral. For this reason, the waiting list for weddings was four years long. Tourists continually filtered through the front doors, examining the architecture and the heady colors of the stained glass windows. I skulked around to the back, to a tiny set of stone stairs sheltered by hydrangea bushes.

I leaned against the wrought-iron railing, quickly becoming immersed in my favorite story. Neither Mr. Darcy nor Elizabeth could I blame; I enjoyed the little factors that led to their misunderstanding, because then I could believe that in real life, too, that two people could have the best of intentions, and still be separated by a disconnect.

It pained me when Elizabeth realized the cruelty of her rejection, even after all these years. I was tempted to flip ahead to their reunion, but I knew it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying without the struggle first. After a while, I became a little sleepy in the hot sun. I put my book down on the nearest step with my spoon as a book mark, and curled into the shade of the cool stone wall.

I dreamed about Mr. Darcy, but when he morphed into Edward, I wondered how I could have been so foolish as to choose the one book that was most likely to remind me of him. It would be okay, I thought bitterly. After Friday, I would never have to see him again, and we could just go our separate ways. It would upset me to lose his friendship - through our letters, I had become closer to him than anyone else. But...maybe it was best this way. We couldn't go on blurring the lines.

Instead, I contented myself with a final fantasy, willfully replacing Mr. Darcy with Edward. In my mind's eye, I watched him striding toward me across a field at dawn, staring at me with those eyes...

"You must know," he said intently, "Surely you must know, it was all for you."

I took a step closer, transfixed, taking his hand in mine as he parted his perfect lips to speak again.

"Blammo."

My eyes fluttered open with momentary disorientation that quickly morphed into irritation. Who DARED to interrupt my nap, invade my secret spot, and BLAMMO ME?

"Edward?" my voice cracked as I peered up at him, his tall figure silhouetted by the bright sunlight of the courtyard beyond.

He sat down on the steps beside me, touching his spoon gently to my shoulder.

"It figures," I sighed. "Now you'll get another chance to Blammo Tanya. She was my target, so she's yours now." At least things worked out in a perfectly twisted way for one of us.

"Bella," I found my hand enclosed in one of his as I stared at the spot of the ground where shadow became light. "I don't want to Blammo Tanya. I want to Blammo you."

I looked up in surprise, having difficulty meeting those green, green eyes.

"I've been trying to get to you all week, but you've been so good at avoiding me that you made it shockingly difficult," he laughed.

"I wasn't avoiding..." I mumbled, but we both knew it was a lie.

"Bella...the way things happened on Saturday...that wasn't how I wanted it."

"You don't have to explain," I cut in, feeling gloomy. At least leave me my dignity, please.

"You must know how I feel about you."

I blinked. Had I imagined those words? Did my brain reject rejection so severely that I had slipped into another one of my fantasies?

"Bella," he favored me with a crooked half-smile. "I've been trying to find out these past few weeks, if you still felt the same way that you felt about me five years ago. I was a fool then, and I need to know if I'm too late."

I was speechless.

Edward let go of my hand. Wait! I wanted to yell, Don't Go!

He turned and knelt in front of me, holding his plastic spoon in the way a man might offer an engagement ring.

"Isabella Swan," he said seriously. "Will you go to the last dance with me?"

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, toppling us both over into the grass, while our spoons flew to who knows where.

In that moment, I couldn't help thinking that a plastic spoon beat diamonds any day of the week.