Sorry for the delay. I hope you guys like this one, it took a while to get it right... And I'm still not sure I fully managed it, but oh well *grin*
This title of this chapter is after a song of the same name by James Morrison. See all other chapters for disclaimer, I'm sure you'll find one that suits your fancy.

Chapter 28: Please Don't Stop The Rain

The car was silent, and as Scotty gunned the accelerator and sped past yet another slow moving minivan on the highway, he wondered if the tension could cut a ton of steel in half. Lilly sat next to him in stony silence, likely still fuming from the way Nick, Will, and Kat had roped them into this car together. Soon after the funeral, the three of them had hopped into Will's car and were halfway back to Philly before Scotty and Lilly knew what hit them. With some apprehension, Scotty had summoned up his remaining courage, and managed to get them on the road together.

That had been two hours ago.

Every so often, he chanced a glance over at her, but she'd slipped expertly behind an icy mask and he had no idea what she was thinking. She could be hating him, loving him, or just plain annoyed by his skittish behavior. He was sure it was likely a combination of all of the above.

He wasn't quite sure how to approach this - her. There were so many things he wanted to talk about. He wanted to speak eloquently of her beauty, and her intelligence, and the ways she made him so happy he couldn't believe it. How the last month was one of the best of his life. He wanted to tell her he understood that she was scared, and let her know he was willing to work through whatever fear she had together. That he loved her and would always be there. That she was extraordinary.

But he also wanted to say that he was hurt. That he needed some reassurance from her, and that running for the hills when things got tough just wasn't an option. Point blank, not an option anymore. Because it made it feel like he was on a roller coaster and he couldn't be happy that way.

It was like a battlefield with her. When he first met Lilly, over four years ago, he found himself on the outside looking in, and he hadn't minded for the longest time. And then, sometime before things with Elisa had gotten so rocky for a final time, he'd made it past the first line, and found himself friends with Lilly Rush.

Of course, he'd quickly slipped back into polite, and sometimes not so polite, acquaintances during the Christina fiasco, but they'd made it past that. He'd fought, and fought hard, for her friendship, her respect, and her trust back.

The day her mother died, Scotty felt, sitting on her coffee table and promising to be there, he'd crossed another of her barriers. He'd felt something raw and real between them, and for the first time he knew, with startling clarity, that the innocent flirtation over the years wasn't all that innocent, and the jealousy he'd felt when Ray and Joseph skipped through her life wasn't all that fake.

That final line had been crossed late one night in her house, and the details were still fuzzy in Scotty's mind. But he'd woken up the next afternoon, after sleeping most of the day away with Lilly in his arms. He remembered her putting on his shirt, cooking together in her kitchen, and he remembered deciding right then and there that he wanted to see Lilly Rush in his shirt every morning, kiss her, and tell her she was simply amazing, probably for the rest of his life.

It all boiled down to two things. He loved her, and he needed to know she loved him too. Not too much to ask, right?

Scotty just wasn't sure where to start.

In the maelstrom of thoughts, he settled on the hurtful words he'd tossed at her offhandedly this morning and felt a bubble of self hatred well up deep inside him. He'd had no right to say those things, he knew that now. But he'd been angry, hurt, and just wanted to lash out. Nevertheless, he owed her an apology. Even if they didn't work out, he wanted to apologize, and make things, at least somewhat, right again.

Lilly was feeling trapped. Both in Scotty's car and between what he rheart yelled at her to do, and the way her brain pulled her back. She knew she should tear him a new one for saying those stupid things he'd said, but all she really wanted was to forget about it. Forget what she'd said and forget what he'd said, and just go back to the perfect balance they'd had for a month.

She didn't want to have the conversation that would lay it all on the table. The one she knew he was dying to have.

From terrifying experience, Lilly knew what that conversation would entail. It was all teary and commitments and declarations of everlasting love. She wasn't sure if she could handle any of them at the moment.

She loved Scotty. Well, actually she wasn't sure. She knew that she liked him a whole hell of a lot though, judging by the way being with him was what made her happiest. And by the way he'd wormed his way into her heart, and she hadn't thrown him out. Lilly cast her mind back to another time she'd felt like this, and she couldn't find one.

Scotty was a lot of things, Lilly decided, leaning her head against the window and watching the road speed past beneath her, but patient was not one of them. He was headstrong, stubborn, fiercely loyal, and loved as hard as a person could. But he wasn't patient. He couldn't wait for her. Lilly knew from the way he'd reacted, that cold day in front of a ruined building, and his hollow eyes the next morning, that he couldn't wait. That he was a right here, right now kind of person. And like it or not, Lilly had broken his heart by not being there.

Of course, she knew that wasn't entirely true either. He had dreams, and plans for the future, that were so deeply ingrained he would never be able to let go of them for anyone. Not that Lilly wanted him to. Oh no, what she wanted was to be part of those dreams. If only she knew how. If only she knew how to make him believe she could. With startling clarity, she realized that as many issues as she had, Scotty matched them as well.

A few minutes later, Lilly saw the bleak grayish hues of the highway change to a quiet countryside scene. Whether Scotty was taking the scenic route home, or if she was suddenly hallucinating, Lilly wasn't sure. But it sure was beautiful. The trees stretched so high she had to crane her neck, and still barely catch a glimpse of the top. Icicles dripped off the branches and snow lay thickly on the ground. Lilly was sure that had she stepped out of the car, she would've heard birds chirping, and feel the pleasant silence that came from being enveloped by nature. She didn't mind the distraction.

Suddenly, she realized that the car was slowing to a stop at the edge of the road, and for the first time in forever she glanced over at Scotty.

He was staring resolutely ahead, jaw squared, determined. Less of the hollow look from this morning that still haunted her, and more apprehensive.

Scotty remove the keys from the ignition, and minus the buzz of the engine, the silence was palpable.

"Where are we?" She asked, because it seemed like a normal enough question for all the emotions that hung between them.

Scotty shrugged. "We used to come here huntin'. Me, Mikey, couple of stupid old cousins." Lilly barely missed the wistfulness in his voice.

"It's nice."

Scotty pressed his lips into a thin line. That wasn't why he had stopped. Oh the familiarity was comforting, but he hadn't driven half an hour out of their way to talk about his cousins. He mentally told himself to get his ass in gear.

"Lil-"

"-Scotty."

They spoke at the same time, and when Lilly fell silent, Scotty continued.

"I'm sorry." Simple. A simple apology alleviated much of the guilt in Scotty's heart. But the relief was short lived, because it only gave way to the pain beneath.

Apparently though, he was a sucker for punishment, because he found himself continuing to strip away the layers of guilt that masked the heart-wrenching sadness. "I'm sorry I pushed you, an' that I almost died on you, an' that I ruined things and said that stuff that ain't true."

Lilly nodded. Sort of acknowledging he'd spoken, but not confirming his words were true. Scotty wasn't sure what to make of it and another uncomfortable silence descended between them.

"You know I bet we would've had the cutest kids." Scotty blurted. Normally he'd would've been terrified to even mention kids to her, but this was, he realized, essentially goodbye, as a couple. What did he really have to lose? "And I bet you would've made a great mom."

Tears burnt at the back of Lilly's eyes and she pressed her lips together, still unable to speak. Her brain screamed at her to say something, reminding her that, for better or for worse, she still wanted him. And he was saying goodbye.

"You want me to transfer out?" He asked, only half joking. He laughed in an attempt to stop tears from falling from his own eyes. "I could get a job on Pluto or somethin'."

Lilly fought to say something. No, I don't want you to transfer out. I want to see you everyday, and I want you to teach me how to love you. She couldn't, and suddenly the tiny car seemed too much for her racing heart and she unbuckled her seatbelt hastily, stepping into the snow and closing the door behind her.

She walked a few feet, her shoes making a splooshing sound in the near melting snow on the ground. It was unseasonably warm. Soon her heart calmed a bit and she heard Scotty's panting breaths behind her. Goddamnit, he'd chased her from the car. That was both the most annoying, and the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for her.

Lilly turned around to face him and the frustration of the past few days burst out in a torrent. She reached out, placed both hands on his chest and pushed him backwards as hard as she could.

"You wanna leave? Move to fucking Pluto?" She demanded. "Go ahead."

Lilly pushed him again, ignoring his wide-eyed confusion and hurt. He barely budged. Had he always been that much taller than her?

"Lilly…" Couldn't she see that he didn't want to leave her? That all he wanted was to be allowed to love her?

"Scotty. If you don't want to do this anymore, then go. Don't make it about me."

"What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"I'm saying you seem pretty eager for this all to end."

He stared at her. "Are you kiddin' me? I told you I love you, Lil, and you said you were sorry, but you couldn't. Then you left."

Lilly's words were loud and lethal in their silent surroundings. "I never said it was over, or that I was even thinking about ending it."

"You…" Scotty waved his hands indignantly. "You left me standing on the frickin' sidewalk, bleedin' and wonderin' what the hell happened. I kinda took that for 'so long, Valens'. If you get what I'm sayin'"

"God, have you ever been in a relationship before? I just needed some time to think, and I know." She dropped her voice and took a step closer. "I know I didn't handle it well. But I didn't expect you to give up."

Lilly bit her lip and Scotty could see the little girl who still had dreams of a knight in shinning armor that she was struggling to cover up. He was confused. In fact, he was beyond confused.

"What do you want Lil?" He asked, helplessly "'cause name it, and I'll do it."

What did she want? Lilly took a deep breath. She wanted this not to be so difficult. She wanted them to have a smooth ride, as a normal couple. But more than anything she wanted to go back to that moment on the side walk, when Scotty had first said those three little words, and react differently. Now that she knew how deeply she cared for him, and she believed that he cared for her just as much, she wanted to go back and not break both their hearts.

"Try again." She said, with a wavery smile.

He knew exactly what she meant. The moment it all went wrong. Redo that. See what happens. It should've been easy, the words I love you should've fell from his lips naturally. He'd been dying to say it for so long. But they didn't, he couldn't.

"Please Scotty?"

Damn it. He had to.

He dared to step a little closer to her, and felt emboldened when she didn't shrink away. "Lil, I've been plannin' to tell you how much I love you for so long. An' I had all these reasons why you should love me too and how we were gonna make it. But every time I saw you, I'd kinda forget."

She laughed. A real, giggly, hopeful kind of laugh that made Scotty, made both of them, forget that this was a redo.

"I missed you." He said suddenly, stepping temporarily away from the more serious stuff. "Last couple of days… I missed you."

"Me too."

"But anyways. I guess I just wanted to say that I love you so damn much Lilly Rush."

He smiled widely, having finally said it to her the way he wanted to. Perfectly.

Lilly's heart continued to thump inside her chest. This was her do-over. Her chance to not run away and makes things right. She had so much she wanted to tell him. I want to be with you. I need some space. Let me think for a while. I have to make sure I can do this.

She knew it wasn't what he would want to hear, and as she watched the smile start to slip off his face, the silence poignant, she knew reality was hitting him just as hard as it was hitting her. This could still be over. After all of this, they could be back at square one.

"I love you, too."

Lilly's eyes widened. That wasn't what she meant to say. It was so far off from her 'I need space, but I like you a whole lot' that it wasn't even in the same ball park anymore. But Jesus, it felt so right.

"Did you hear me, Scotty? I love you."

For Scotty, it was as though time had stopped, and the distance between him and Lilly was suddenly way too far. He stepped closer and cupped her face with his hands, staring into her brilliant blue eyes. God, she was beautiful, she was amazing. What on earth could he have done to deserve her?

"Scotty?" Her voice reached him through the roaring in his ears. "Are you okay? You heard me right? I love you… I'm all in."

All in.

He brushed a few wayward snowflakes from her hair and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was so small. Tall, definitely, but slender and lithe, like something he'd dreamed once and was never really able to hold on to.

"Oh me too." He answered, " Way in."

Scotty leaned in and pressed his lips to the corner of hers, trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck. "So in." He whispered between kisses. "That all I see is in."

Lilly closed her eyes, reveling the moment. Everything else could be figured out later, really. Maybe she didn't need any space or any thinking. Maybe she just needed him. Thinking was overrated anyways. She was lost in these delightful thoughts when she felt something heavy fall on her head.

What? Snowflakes weren't heavy. She felt Scotty stop kissing for a second and they both looked upward. A drop of water splashed into her eye and when she quickly blinked it out, she saw Scotty looking at her worriedly, as though the sudden rain would jolt her back to her senses and this dream would end.

Lilly smiled and said, "It's raining."

"It's the middle of December," Scotty protested, still looking a bit worried. "That ain't supposed to be happenin' "

She put her fingers over his lips, trailing their outline and marveling at how perfect they looked. "I love rain."

He smiled under her fingers. "I love you." The sound was slightly muffled, but they brought tears to Lilly eyes anyway.

And when she moved her hand to wrap around his neck, his lips met hers, the rain came down a bit harder, seeping into both their clothes and matting their hair.

They never wanted it to stop.

Your thoughts? I think we may be drawing to a close here... Not yet but very very very soon.