Explanation

The next morning we left straight for the blacksmiths forge, not a word spoken between us since the day before. The night had been awkward, me lying on the floor because there was only one bed, way before dark, and Lodan sitting on the bed reading. He had almost said something to me about the bed, but had thought better of it. I couldn't blame him, I was pissed.

I laid there almost all night thinking about how to get back at the templar, but after about five hours of fuming, I decided that I needed to grow up and get over it.

You're not in middle school! I had thought angrily to myself.

Harlin looked ecstatic that we were there so early in the day. He showed the changes he had made to us, completely unaware of the silence between the two of us.

"It took longer then I originally thought, but I did it! Go ahead and try it! Try it!"

I held it in my hands, and did the same routine as yesterday of swinging it through the air. Harlin had taken off at least four inches, and I admitted to myself that it felt more balanced.

"What do you think?" he seemed so pleased. "It's all pure steel."

"I love it." I was not lying. The sword felt like an extension of my arm. If I had not been so tired from the last nights anger sessions, I would have given him a hug.

Harlin was just exploding with happiness, he almost forgot to charge Lodan. But he was reminded gently by the elf, and after a goodbye, we both left the village.

"I never did thank you."

I looked up from my stew in surprise. The whole day had been spent in silence. I had started to wonder if Lodan had been angry at me for risking his reputation with the villagers.

"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

"For standing up for me. Not many of the shemlen are going to appreciate my presence, especially because of my tattoos and the fact that my voice sounds different. They know I am Dalish. To humans, I am a savage beast not to be trusted. Some of the people in that village still refuse to talk to me."

"Well, they don't know you do they. Plus, did you think I was going to let that pansy of a man bully you?"

"I did not know what was going to happen. You surprise me at every turn Abigail." His lips had the threat of a smile.

"Lodan, you are like a father to me! I'm going to make sure no one treats you like that again."

"Abigail," he really smiled then. "Come here," he held his arms open.

I walked around the fire and he hugged me close.

"Do you want to hear why I do not live in a clan, with my own people?" he asked me quietly as I unglued myself from him and sat beside him.

"I don't care Lodan. All I know is that you are a good person, here and now. The past shouldn't matter."

"You should know," he said. I could tell he wasn't going to change his mind, so I did not argue.

He took a deep breath before he began. "When I was much younger, my clan wondered parts of Orlais, that is to the west of Ferelden as you know, and we came into contact with many other clans. Just after my ceremony for becoming an official hunter for the clan, we meet another clan during the summer months. A certain elf by the name of Azatae became my close friend, he too had just become a hunter. We spent the last few weeks almost entirely alone, hunting and foraging for the clans. When the clans left for their separate ways, we promised eachother if we ever saw each other we would try to spend more time together."

"Over the next two years, as was expected of me, I courted some of the fine women of my clan. But each time it got to a certain point, I broke it off. I felt guilty, but I could not figure out why. I told my friends that they couldn't sing well as a joke. On the inside I was conflicted, I could not understand what was wrong with me. Some nights I would have dreams about Azatae, not all of them…what would be deemed normal."

"Then, after those two long years, our clans crossed paths again. I tried to avoid him, knowing that seeing his face again would only cause more trouble in confusing me. Azatae noticed my adversion and cornered me in the woods. He told me that he had missed me every day we had been apart, and that he had been unsure at first, but seeing me again had proved that he was in love with me."

"I could not have been more happy. Him saying those things to me cleared up all the feelings of doubt I had felt all that time. I thought I loved him too. We spent the nights together, making plans that I would switch to his clan."

Lodan sighed, lost in his memories. I poked a stick at the fire patiently, thinking about what he had said already. This story was not going to be having a happy ending.

"There was a woman from Azatae's clan that had been unsuccessful in wooing him for a long time. She was rejected by him many times, and that had caused her to watch him jealously. When she saw us together during the day, she got suspicious and followed us into the woods one night. When her suspicions were confirmed, she told our leaders, the Keepers. They were outraged at how our relationship was progressing and told us to either to end it or they would. We were defiant, so they decided to put more distance between us so that we would never see each other again. My clan came to Fereldan and his left north for the Anderfells."

"I was so upset, but time went on. At first I was just miserable. I started going to human towns and villages when we were near to them to, participate in relations. My fellow clan members eventually found out and the only way my Keeper could make sure I was not murdered in my sleep was to exile me."

"I'm so sorry Lodan," I said quietly.

Lodan cried silently. I dug for my handkerchief and handed it to him. He muttered a thank you and wiped his eyes. I waited for him to let it out, letting the question in my head swirl.

"Why would your own people turn on you like that?" I could not imagine someone wanting to hurt Lodan that badly.

He sniffed in distaste. "You do not think I am a freak?" He looked like he was ready for me to hiss at him and shun him.

"No, of course not! Where I come from "relations"," I smiled as he watched my fingers go up and down, "are common and usually it is not a problem. It kind of depends on where you live."

"I know it's like that with the shemlen. But Abby, you must realize that as a race, the elves have a very small presence in Thedas, and the Dalish are even smaller. We need every child we can get, and that means-"

"No! Not listening to that talk again!" I stuffed my fingers in my ears.

My actions had the desired effect. Lodan burst into laughter and I joined him happily. So we laughed, not caring if we scared all the animals in the vicinity.

Time flew by again. My birthday came and we celebrated the same way as last time save for the fact we were stuck inside from a nasty blizzard. Lodan gave me the bow he had been making. It was made of oak, a gorgeous instrument of destruction, carved with dalish art all over it. It was much bigger than his because it had to be as long as half of my body.

I practiced with it for days when the weather permitted until I could shoot it perfectly. Lodan joked that if I used it any more I would wear out the string, but I knew he was pleased that I loved it so much.

Winter passed like that without incident. I worried about the templars finding Tanin. The apostate never saw us either, which I was sure made Lodan happy. I wasn't sure if that boded well or not that neither was seen.