A/N: This chapter marks two turning points. The first is that it's halfway through the story (assuming my bunnies stop throwing all these evil ideas at me!)

More seriously, this is where Trip starts to recover from his ordeal. Needless to say, it won't be easy.

Violations

Chapter Ten - Towards The Dawn

The door opened, and Trip stepped through it, still towelling his hair as he navigated his way back to his bed. When he reached it, he stopped – as startled to find Jon there as Jon was himself, by a question that held more surprise than anger.

"You're – You're still here?"

Recovering himself, as best he could when he saw what Trip was carrying, Jon had to force himself to nod. Then the alarm he'd felt at seeing the holdall in Trip's hand was soothed away by a calmer, more logical voice. They were light years away from Earth, with no viable means to return to it, or even to Jupiter Station. And with no planets near them, that could support any form of life… well, Enterprise was all they had.

From the dazed frown that he now saw on Trip's face, he knew his friend had started to realize that too. Not the friend he knew so well, though. Not the brilliant engineer, or the life and soul of every party.

No. Staring blankly down at the bag in his hand, this Trip was lost. Hopelessly, and now alarmingly, lost. Shock, Jon told himself, hating the sight of this bewildered husk of humanity that had taken his place.

'He's in shock, and… gently, Jon, you need to bring him out of it… really, really gently.'

Resisting a now overwhelming urge to touch him, Jon reached instead for the bag. Slowly, very slowly, he eased it out of Trip's fingers – letting that movement, rather than physical contact, ease his friend back into some form of awareness. His voice, too, was calm and quiet. Telling him everything that, pray to God, Trip now needed to hear.

"Of course I'm here, Trip. Where else would I be now, when you… well, when you need me?"

It was such a simple question. An offer of comfort and reassurance, for a friend who needed it so badly. But there was no recognition for it in Trip's eyes. At least, Jon silently told himself, it wasn't there yet. But it would come back. He'd fight like hell, for both of them, to get that, and Trip, back.

Until it did, he would just have to bear the awful blankness in those eyes, and wait for it to clear. Just as he'd have to tell himself that the faint, scared voice he now heard would eventually go too.

"I – I don' know! Christ, Jon, I'm – I'm not sure I know anythin' right now."

Still watching him, Jon wanted more than ever now, to just hold his friend. To try to offer him comfort. Again, though, he knew it was too soon for that. He'd have to wait for Trip to show that he could accept it. As his rising voice suggested, there was still far too many emotions surging through him to even try.

"I – I mean, one minute I'm talkin' to you, an' – an' the next thing I know, I'm takin' a shower!"

As suddenly as his voice had risen, though, so both that, and his strength, came crashing down again. So did Trip. As his legs suddenly refused to support him, he thudded down onto the edge of his bed. Staring at the holdall beside him, he looked, and sounded, more hopelessly lost and scared than ever

"An' – An' packin' that… like I've got anywhere… anywhere else to go…"

That did it. Whether he was offering it too soon, or too physically, or even too late, Jon didn't care. All he cared about right now was Trip. His friend, his brother, who needed him, as he never had before.

Sitting beside him, he placed the gentlest of hands on Trip's shoulder, and watched for his reaction. He even held his breath, so that he would be able to feel its physical equivalent of silent resistance – only releasing it when, to a surge of relief that brought tears to his eyes, neither of them came. If Trip could allow him this simple but precious contact, and nothing else… God, yes, he'd take it.

"You're in shock, Trip. After what you've been through, you're – you're in shock," he said at last, trying to build on this vital breakthrough, as he saw the first flicker of awareness return to Trip's eyes.

It was little more than a frown, of course. A silent struggle to understand what was being said to him. The same confusion any victim would show, as they tried to make sense of what had happened to them. Again, though, if it meant Trip was trying to fight his way out of it, Jon would gratefully take it – just as he'd say what Trip needed so much to hear, keep on saying it, until he finally believed him.

"But whatever you do, or say… whatever you need to do, Trip, to get through this… I'm here."

A deeper frown this time. A war of emotions, too, fighting for victory across that pale, haggard face. Fear. Bewilderment. Shame. Then the forces, trying to defeat them. Relief. Gratitude. Hope.

And still Jon kept going. Softly. Quietly. Giving him all the strength he could, to win this vital battle.

"I'm right here, Trip. I'm not going anywhere… we're going to get through this, Trip, the same way we've come through everything else. Together, Trip. We're going to get through this together."

Then it was his turn to frown. With no awareness of it, both his hands now held Trip's shoulders. From the surprise on Trip's face, he was as startled by it, and felt even more shocked, than he did. And the tremors that Jon could feel now, running through his whole body, made him wince in horror –

'Too soon. Oh, God, I've done this too soon.'

- a reaction that only increased as he felt one of the bravest people he'd ever met collapse against him. From this simple offer of belief, and support, the dam had broken, and so had Trip. Crashing into Jon's arms, he shook. And shook. And shook.

Yet Jon could feel himself smile now, as he wrapped his arms around him, and held him gently closer. The distance between them was gone. More than that, Trip now wanted his comfort. Needed, welcomed, his presence.

Until those tears stopped, and for as long as it took beyond them, he'd give him all the comfort, and strength that he could. God, he'd give him everything.

"It's all right, Trip, I've got you… easy now, it's all right… I've got you, Trip… I've got you."