Author's Note: One of the guest reviews pointed out that most of my stories have a tragic element to them, and I laughed so hard, because it's so effing true. I'm so cruel to you people, really. I guess angst is just my thing! (But thank you for that review, I was laughing and smiling like an idiot!).
But um... be careful going into this chapter. A lot of you have been so ecstatic about the progress Alfred's made, but that's about to go down the toilet very quickly.
Airports, in Alfred's opinion, were a communal ground for idiotic, rude ass people.
He'd been run into maybe six times, stepped on ten, snapped at maybe a dozen, and if one more hormonal fucking college guy cat-called at Elizabeta, Alfred was going to have to switch to papa bear mode; but luckily for the general population, Alfred was completely in grief mode and didn't have the energy to react as he normally would.
Kiku's parents were speaking to one another in Japanese, and Kiku nodded along every so often while Alfred and Elizabeta shuffled around awkwardly. Eventually, Emi and Kouta turned away from one another and toward Alfred and Elizabeta. Thus began the farewells.
Alfred accepted a long hug from a sniffling Emi and shook Kouta's hand, then stood by with Kiku while Elizabeta received similar gestures. Kiku had been quiet all morning, and standing next to him, Alfred could tell that there were things Kiku was dying to say. Whether or not he would have the time to express everything before their time was up was anyone's guess, though Alfred wasn't sure if he wanted to hear any of it.
Once Kiku's parents were finished with Elizabeta, they started to wander off. Alfred glanced at Kiku, who watched his parents go without moving.
"So," Elizabeta said, clapping her hands together, "are you staying and just forgot to mention it to us?"
"If only." Kiku said with a huge sigh. The three of them were standing close together in the middle of the walkway, and Alfred was hyper-aware of everyone who pushed past them, the squeak of wheels on luggage bags, and planes taking off in the distance. This really wasn't the best place for emotional discussions. "They said they're going to give us time to… say what we have to."
"That's nice of them." Alfred muttered.
Elizabeta sniffed, and all at once her jade eyes were shimmering with tears. "I told myself I wasn't going to cry, dammit." She seethed, wiping at her eyes carefully so as not to smear her mascara. "It's not like we're never going to see you again."
"We'll Skype." Alfred and Kiku said simultaneously, and the two shared an unsure glance before looking away again.
Kiku stepped forward to envelop Elizabeta in a tight embrace, and Alfred hung back, just observing. "Thanks for talking to me that day." Elizabeta choked out, eyes squeezed shut so tightly that it almost looked painful. They all knew what she was talking about. "I don't know how my life would've turned out if you hadn't."
"My God." Alfred said, feeling wretched.
"It was one of the better decisions I've made in my life." Kiku replied, and Elizabeta coughed out a laugh, burying her face in Kiku's shoulder. Her hair was up in a ponytail, so she couldn't use the brunette tresses to hide her grief as she normally would have. "I can't trust Alfred to make friends, so I have to do it myself."
"God, Kiku, don't go. Who's gonna throw the first punch if someone picks fun at you? Who's gonna be the character no one else wants to be when we play on multiplayer?"
Kiku pulled away from Elizabeta to look at her fully, and Alfred stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket, itching to leave. He still wasn't quite over Matthew's departure, and having to say goodbye to another important person in his life was only adding salt to an already aggravated wound. He'd stayed up late last night talking to Arthur about it, talking quietly into his phone while Elizabeta and Kiku slept beside him.
"I thought I could just stomach through this." Alfred had said, huddled on his end of the couch with a blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders. "But… they're taking pieces of me with them when they leave. Kiku's still here and I already feel like something's missing."
"You'll see them again." Arthur hadn't sounded tired at all, even though it was nearly two in the morning. "It may not be soon, and it may not be for long, but they won't be gone forever."
"Well, I know that. I just don't want them to go in the first place."
"And that's a normal reaction. I guess all you can do is love them while you can. After that, just remember and wait."
Alfred thought back to that conversation as Kiku and Elizabeta continued to say their goodbyes. Arthur didn't sugarcoat things, and Alfred respected that immensely. Everything wasn't sunshine and rainbows and he didn't appreciate when people pretended otherwise.
Alfred blinked when he noticed Kiku turning away from Elizabeta, realized that it was now his turn. Elizabeta did the hanging back, and she had the back of one hand – the hand with her watch – pressed against her mouth. Her shoulders were bouncing every few seconds, and she looked so close to losing it.
If even she couldn't keep it together after knowing Kiku for nearly four years, how could Alfred, who has been there almost since the beginning?
He and Kiku stared at one another for a few moments. To be honest, Alfred wasn't sure what to say, but Kiku seemed to once he gathered his thoughts. "I guess my job is done." He said, and while he smiled, it was laced with sadness.
Alfred eyed Kiku warily. Somehow he knew that his friend had been awake last night (this morning?) and heard his conversation with Arthur. How much of it, he wasn't sure, but it had been enough.
Kiku still had years of waiting left, but Alfred had found his significant other. Before this summer, Alfred would have woken Kiku up to talk to him about how he was feeling, for Kiku was the only one who would've understood; but Arthur was the one talking Alfred down last night, consoling his worried mind even if he wasn't in the room.
They'd promised to watch out for one another until their soul mates showed up. They were life partners in a different way. That period in their life was nearly over, and Alfred was both saddened and relieved.
"Yeah. I guess so." Alfred replied, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "But I'll always need a friend. One I don't want to… be with, anyway."
"And I'll always supply your life with bromance." Kiku said, nodding.
Alfred's jaw clenched. Why couldn't one of Kiku's aunts – who actually lived in Japan – take care of their ailing dad? Apparently they were all too busy with their jobs to devote the necessary time and energy, but it still seemed unfair to Kiku, and Emi and Kouta as well.
"I think he'll be good for you." Kiku went on to say, rubbing at his neck restlessly. "And hopefully when I see you again, you'll smile like you used to." Alfred just kept nodding, couldn't seem to stop, and Kiku's expression furrowed. "Please don't cry."
"I won't." Alfred breathed, shakily pulling his hands out of his pockets. "Someone has to be strong for Lizzie."
Kiku initiated the hug because Alfred couldn't, but the blue-eyed teenager returned it enthusiastically, didn't want to let go. "I'll miss you. We'll Skype." Kiku said, repeating his words from earlier. Their laptops were about to become their best friends. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."
"I make no promises." Alfred muttered, patting Kiku's back a few times before releasing him, taking a much-needed step back. "You should go if you don't want to see me cry."
Kiku nodded, teary-eyed himself, and Alfred lurched as his friend turned to walk away, hurrying past Elizabeta, who seemed to be resisting the urge to throw herself on the ground and latch on to Kiku's leg. Alfred extended an arm and wrapped it around her shoulders when she hurried to him, and together they watched Kiku hurry off to where his parents were waiting.
Alfred thought back to his conversation with Matthew, about saying what needed to be said before his brother was gone; and then Arthur, whose advice was to love while he could and always remember.
And wait, of course, though Alfred still struggled with that one.
He lifted the arm where his watch used to reside and cupped it around the side of his mouth, taking a deep breath before shouting after Kiku. "We love you, man! We'll be here waiting when you get back!"
The stares he received were partially ignored. His eyes were on Kiku; and while his friend didn't turn around or even stop walking, he put his head down.
Emi wrapped an arm around her son, pulled him close, and then they were gone.
Alfred had driven his new car to the airport, and he drove himself and Elizabeta back to his house after they pulled themselves together enough to walk away.
They didn't speak. Elizabeta had kicked off her shoes early on into the ride and sat huddled in the passenger's seat, arms wrapped round her knees as she stared straight ahead, unseeing. Alfred knew she felt Kiku's loss as distinctly as he did. To be honest, it felt as if he'd lost his dominant limb or a toy he'd had since infancy. Kiku probably wasn't even in the air yet and still, he was another world away.
"I don't know how my mom does it." Elizabeta said eventually, her usually cheerful voice sounding hoarse and hollow. "She just lets guys into her life and then waves them goodbye, as if they meant nothing."
"They probably did mean nothing. Trust me, I know how it is to sleep around without looking for a serious relationship."
"How do you do it? I feel like I'm bleeding."
Alfred frowned, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "Well, I go in knowing I'll say goodbye. I don't get attached easily."
Elizabeta sighed, slowly uncurling her body to sit normally in the seat. Alfred saw her glance his way through his peripheral vision. "When we first met, I thought you were the hardest son of a bitch. Now I know you're the biggest softy of the three of us. What was with all that yelling at the airport?"
"I was trying to think of what to say to him but couldn't until he'd started to leave. I wasn't about to run after him."
Elizabeta started to laugh but broke off into a hiccup, following by a shuddering gasp. "Gah, I want to sleep for a year! I hate this!"
"It'll get better." Alfred said, though he was still trying to convince himself. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever the fuck. You know, I'm gonna be really pissed if his grandpa just has a chest cold or something."
"Can we stop at McDonald's? I need a Big Mac."
"I don't have any money on me. We'll go back to my house first, and then we'll go."
Elizabeta made a noncommittal noise and quieted down, and they didn't speak for the rest of the ride home.
To his credit, Alfred didn't immediately suspect foul play when he pulled into his neighborhood nearly forty-five minutes later and noticed a foreign car in his driveway. It wasn't until he got closer and recognized its model – he really should start wearing his damn glasses – that he felt his blood run cold.
"Whose car is that?" Elizabeta asked, straining slightly in her seat to see the vehicle clearly. "Is that your grandma's?"
"Arthur's." Alfred said, parking in the street and tearing his way out of the car, not even bothering to turn it off. "I swear to fucking God – "
"Al, what the – " Elizabeta called, hanging back to switch his car off for him. "Wait up!"
But Alfred couldn't wait. What was Arthur doing at his house, especially when Alfred wasn't even there? Arthur wouldn't just show up out of the blue, not unless…
Alfred worked to keep his panic at bay. Was something wrong? Had something happened? A dozen different scenarios ran through his mind – Arthur was sick, Arthur was dying – as he dashed up the lawn toward his front door. He'd known the whole soul mate thing was too good to be true. Not to mention that he was the universe's favorite punching bag. If he'd been given a glimpse of happiness just to have it ripped away from him, there would be fucking hell to pay.
He threw open the door with a shout of, "Mom? Dad?" It was nearly seven at night, and there was a light on in the living room. Alfred headed toward it like a moth to flame. "What happened – "
He stopped. It was just his mom and Arthur, sitting facing one another on the sofa. Alfred took in Arthur's appearance and couldn't find any injuries or variations; not even a hair out of place.
Alfred was panting slightly, confused and on edge and missing Kiku desperately, but Arthur seemed perfectly fine. If that was the case then what…
Everything started to fall into place as Elizabeta walked into the house, yelling to Alfred in a voice laced with agitation and bewilderment. Alfred's mom looked guilty, caught, and she was tense as she watched Alfred as if he were a ticking time bomb. Arthur didn't look nearly as apprehensive, but the look he was shooting Alfred was one the teenager was long familiar with. He'd seen it on Matthew, his parents, Kiku and Elizabeta when they found out...
Sympathy. Realization. Sadness and the faintest bit of anger.
It hit Alfred with the force of a freight train.
Arthur knew.
"What the fuck is this?" Alfred demanded. Apprehension was starting to melt away, fury sliding quickly into place.
"Alfred – " His mom began, but he cut her off.
"You told him? Why? What possessed you? Mom, what the hell!"
This was Alfred's worst nightmare. Only he was allowed to do damage control where his own life was concerned; certainly not his mother, who was partially to blame for its destruction in the first place. She'd been quiet lately. Alfred should have known that she was plotting something, lurking in the shadows, trying to push him when he was already heading in the right direction.
She'd poked a bear. Alfred already knew this wasn't going to end well and had no power to stop it.
"Alfred, let's just calm down a little." Arthur said slowly, though he only succeeded in redirecting Alfred's anger.
"I told you that I would tell you about what happened when I was ready!" Alfred shouted, and Arthur reeled back slightly. "And you promised that you would be patient. What happened to that guy, huh? Did he get bored already?"
"Alfred, I didn't – "
"I am so sick of people butting into my life and telling me what to do." Alfred felt a hand on his arm. Elizabeta. He ignored her. "If I wanted Arthur to know that I'm a fucking bastard kid whose parents cared more about sex than they did their soul mates, I would've told him, Mom."
His mom was shaking her head, hands worrying together in her lap. "That's not – "
"It is! I know how it works, I've slept with half the goddamn city by now." That was a gross exaggeration, but Alfred couldn't get his mouth to stop moving.
But he knew what he was doing. He was done with this, with Arthur, everything. Alfred had finally started to accept his hand in life. He was growing comfortable with Arthur, with his brother, and with himself. Alfred had almost forgotten why he despised those stupid watches, but now he remembered.
It was all about control. Alfred had vowed to direct his own life, his own destiny, after Matthew told him the truth about their family. He realized he would have to look out for himself, trust no one, because if even soul mates couldn't stay together, what was the purpose of them? Alfred wouldn't allow himself to be jerked around and refused to end up like his parents, thrown together by circumstance.
Their patchwork family hadn't worked out. Alfred was the prime example of that. And by telling Arthur the reason why Alfred was the way he was, his mom was taking the control that Alfred coveted from him. She was pushing again.
Weeks of progress were just gone.
Alfred thought he'd been doing better, but if this was setting him off so much, maybe he hadn't changed at all.
"My shoulder is fine." Alfred said slowly, deliberately, every word directed at Arthur. "Delete my number. Forget that I exist, forget that we met, and get out of my house."
Arthur was the one panicking now. He was starting to stand up, looked as if he'd been told he had ten seconds left to live. "Alfred – "
"Get out!" Alfred bellowed, and he was gone, stalking up the stairs with a wide-eyed Elizabeta in tow.
He hurried into his room, tearing at his hair in frustration, and he heard Elizabeta shut the door behind them, quietly slide the lock into place.
"Do you have… any idea what you just did?" She whispered, and Alfred gritted his teeth.
Matthew had said nearly the same thing that first morning, when Alfred walked out on Arthur the first time. Everything and nothing had changed since then.
"I saved myself years of bullshit, that's what." Alfred snapped, stalking over to his window. "Turn on the PS4 or something. I want to make sure he fucking listened for a change."
Alfred needn't have worried. Arthur was already climbing into his car, his movements hurried, and Alfred glared at him although the man couldn't see.
God, he hated this. He hated it, hated Arthur just as much. Why couldn't Arthur have left him alone? Why did he have to be so kind and considerate, mysterious and infuriatingly smug about everything? Why did Arthur have to fuck up this bad?
Alfred felt arms winding around his chest, a forehead between his shoulder blades.
"I'm so sorry, Alfred." Elizabeta whispered wretchedly.
Alfred started sobbing.